who has lost someone to this clusterfuck?

[mopinko]

my first personal loss today. my bil has passed.
my sister died 2 years ago, after a decade in a nursing home, so he has been alone a long time already. had a lot of health issues. only 70.
i lost another bil, suddenly, shortly after that. so, we had 2 family funerals. i come from a big irish family. we dont always get along, but in times like that, everyone is all in. how you go forward after a death w/o that, i.do.not.know.

as someone who spent 5 years as a hospice volunteer, all these people dying alone is just crushing my heart. i had stepped back for health reasons, and was just about to get back to work when this started.
all these families w no way to gather. deaths w/o hugs. it's just not right.
this is gonna leave some big scars.

i know there have been a few threads about someone lost, but, well, this is du.
when in doubt, start a thread.

[Squinch]

1. No one in my immediate circle, but I opened my email to one of my

workplaces the other day and found 4 death notices for colleagues' relatives.

Everyone close to me who had it has recovered, some with complications but all alive.

[Squinch]

2. PS: and with the Russian Roulette game they're about to start

with American workers, the number of dead is going to shoot up.

[mopinko]

3. i have a body count wager w the trumpkin in my life.

his count was busted the 2nd week. i dont want to think i'm right, but i keep waiting for this idiot to put one foot right, and it just hasnt happened, and isnt going to.


eta- he keeps talking about 1918, but has missed the main lesson.

[ananda]

4. I knew one person who died of cv.

She was a player at my bridge club, and she
was the first person in my city to die of cv.

She already had serious health issues; and she
went to a concert after her doctor told her to
distance.

I really liked her. She was a lovely person.
But she refused to follow her doctor's orders,
and that was that.

[lark]

5. Losing someone on a vent is one of the hardest ways to go, IMO.

What fucking sucks so bad is you have to make the decision to pull the plug. OMG how hard that would be when you aren't even there, can't see their responses or lack of them for yourself, can't hold their hand and tell them how much you love them. My heart just aches for these people, having gone thru this process with my mom. At least my sister and I got to be there with her during her last hours and it definitely comforted her.

[mopinko]

6. we do extubations on our ward.

and yeah, i have had these deaths in particular on these patients.
they are sooooo hard. that comfort matters like hell.

[lark]

7. It sure does.

I don't think my sister would still be alive is she wasn't there at mom's extubtion, she was so close to suicide as it was, just eaten up inside with the decision. Thank you for caring.

[mopinko]

10. i feel a bit selfish about how much i miss the hugs.

but damn. i miss the way i got hugged back.
i was always humbled to be allowed into such a personal moment.

it feels creepy to miss the work, but i miss the work.

[demtenjeep]

8. Meher funeral was yesterday and all I could do was watch

on computer

and email support for the husband

[mopinko]

9. yeesh. i can only hope that folks are able to find the kind of creativity

that seems to be popping up everywhere.