New Claim That Enemies of U.S. Developed Trump in Lab

[denem]

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Enemies of the United States developed Donald J. Trump in a top-secret biotech lab with the goal of wreaking untold havoc on the nation, a leading conspiracy theorist claimed on Monday.

The theorist, Harland Dorrinson, said that he has “conclusive evidence” that Trump was created by enemy scientists as the “ultimate weapon” to bring the United States to its knees.

“Having combed through binders of secret documents, I can say with a hundred per cent confidence that the person we have been calling Donald Trump was grown in a recombinant-DNA lab,” Dorrinson said.

“It’s the only possible explanation,” he added.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/new-claim-that-enemies-of-us-developed-trump-in-lab

[Laelth]

1. Sounds plausible to me. n/t

-Laelth

[denem]

3. Occam's razor

DJT is a freak beyond the bounds of evolution. He was hatched.

[BComplex]

5. He was a failed lab experiment that escaped the lab and went down the toilet,

where it fed off the sewage and continued to grow into what is now terrorizing the world.
I'm pretty sure that's how it happened.

[Laelth]

6. I wish he were more like Towelie.

Why can’t he just get high and wander off?

-Laelth

[sop]

2. Truthiness

[SWBTATTReg]

4. Wouldn't be surprised that the Russians probably poisoned his mind and body first, before...

letting him (rump) back out into the public. Built rump up so much that anyone else in their right mind know that most of what they are hearing, is BS.

rump doesn't hear it this way...all he hears is rump rump rump ... etc., and nothing else.

[ProfessorGAC]

7. Can Always Count On Borowitz!

A clever writer, indeed.