Broken: The Virginia Potato War - A History
In 2020, the Virginia Potato War began on July 21, when a farmer called in the North Carolina Ragtag Militia to defend his 5-acre potato field against a horde of thieves who were determined to steal his crop. Over seven militia members arrived three days later in their pickup trucks, armed to the teeth with AR-15-style semi-automatic rifles. Plenty of ammo was brought to the scene of the rumored invasion. Tactical gear was in evidence, as well.
The Militia members set up tents and propane grills. They had a cookout the first evening as they arranged for a 24/7 schedule of patrols. Readiness training was conducted daily, followed by refreshments - primarily beer and Cheetos.
On August 1, 2020, a family of tourists from Idaho driving past the potato field had a flat tire and stopped alongside the road to install the spare tire. One of the children in the car called out to the father, saying, "Daddy. Aren't those potatoes?" The father replied, "Damned if they aren't." Then he walked toward the fence to take a closer look. Who knew they grew potatoes in Virginia?
Within a minute, the alarm went up in the Militia camp. "Raiders! Potato Thiefs!" Hundreds of rapid-fire shots rang out from the camp, which was 100 yards away from the parked car. While none of the shots hit anything, the entire family quickly jumped back into the car and drove off, the flat tire notwithstanding. In the nearby town, they stopped at an auto garage and reported what had happened. The shop owner quickly changed their tire and notified the County Sheriff of what had occurred.
The Sheriff dispatched two deputies to the scene at the 5-acre potato farm. The deputies informed the Militia that they were on county property and camping without a permit. They released the militia members with a warning to "Get out of the county and take your guns with you. We don't need this sort of thing here." The brave militia soldiers loaded up their trucks and drove back to North Carolina right away.
And that's how the Virginia Potato War began and ended. There were no casualties, due to the poor marksmanship of the Militia members and the Idaho family had a story to tell to the potato farmers back home.
= new reply since forum marked as read
He's got his "tactical gear" on too.
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