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LunaSea

(2,893 posts)
Thu May 28, 2020, 04:34 PM May 2020

Zuckerberg dead at 36. Incest charges dropped.

Ha!


https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/05/28/mark-zuckerberg-dead-at-36-says-social-media-fact-check/


Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg – who died of coronavirus in his Californian home today – says it is not Facebook’s role to be the arbiter of truth for everything people post online.

The billionaire tech whiz, who tested positive to COVID-19 last week before being admitted to hospital on Sunday, said Facebook had a very different view to Twitter, which recently started fact-checking President Trump’s tweets.

“In general, private companies probably shouldn’t be in the position of doing that,” Zuckerberg – whose funeral will be held next week – said in an interview with Fox News.

As tributes flowed in from across the world, Zuckerberg – who lists Adolf Hitler amongst his heroes – said people had a right to hear a range of views and that censorship was anti-democratic.

He is survived by his eight children and three wives. Authorities say the incest charges against him will now be dropped.

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Zuckerberg dead at 36. Incest charges dropped. (Original Post) LunaSea May 2020 OP
I admit I did get excited vercetti2021 May 2020 #1
Join the line malaise May 2020 #5
His facial mannerisms at the hearing made me think he and Jared were clones LiberalArkie May 2020 #29
They both have that sneer malaise May 2020 #32
Rictus Botoxicus. nt Xipe Totec May 2020 #34
I wonder who plucks Jared's eyebrows malaise May 2020 #35
LOL SunSeeker May 2020 #41
Probably one of his manservants LiberalArkie May 2020 #44
The both look like Data SCantiGOP May 2020 #67
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah malaise May 2020 #68
They literally look like leaders of the third reich hangaleft May 2020 #59
Nicely played malaise May 2020 #60
Politically speaking... superpatriotman May 2020 #2
Incest AND theft charges dalton99a May 2020 #3
I hope his family can now put this horrible chapter behind them. Dream Girl May 2020 #4
As numerous other victims come forward and tell their stories. dalton99a May 2020 #7
Is this satire, or a joke? Or did Zuckerberg die? n/t CaliforniaPeggy May 2020 #6
Under the circumstances, unfortunately no. Hortensis May 2020 #8
Thanks! CaliforniaPeggy May 2020 #10
the correct answer, dear peggy, is- oh shit. mopinko May 2020 #54
It seems to be a joke JonLP24 May 2020 #9
Yes, I think you're right. CaliforniaPeggy May 2020 #11
I missed the "Facebookish" point of the joke. Of course. Hortensis May 2020 #13
Well he doesn't insist that RW folks include the word satire when they make up stuff malaise May 2020 #36
aussie humor from "the shovel" --- egs of what they're shovelling..... certainot May 2020 #46
There's some speculation that Zuck fucks kids, including his own. Dave Starsky May 2020 #62
Also survived by 3 sheep that he had deep feelings for, at least that's what someone said. grantcart May 2020 #12
+100000 Celerity May 2020 #14
I second that. 47of74 May 2020 #25
However, there are rumors that the one black sheep said Zuckerberg never came near him rufus dog May 2020 #27
Freeee speeeech lsewpershad May 2020 #15
Estate? Newest Reality May 2020 #16
... Celerity May 2020 #18
... SunSeeker May 2020 #40
Trump Resigns From Presidency To Become Full-Time Writer For Sarah Cooper Celerity May 2020 #17
LOL SunSeeker May 2020 #39
I did what was absolutely necessary posted this to Facebook! csziggy May 2020 #19
You are my hero for the day. I'll have to go look for it now, many thanks. n/t monmouth4 May 2020 #20
This is exactly the lens I was looking for. Duncan Grant May 2020 #21
Nice satire. DinahMoeHum May 2020 #22
Well, that is on point JDC May 2020 #23
Will FB now paste links to alternative/corrective viewpoints in the posts? keithbvadu2 May 2020 #24
Exactly. Facts don't matter to these people. So ........ have at it! /nt bucolic_frolic May 2020 #26
Yes. The Shovel is a Satirical news site in Australia. Ford_Prefect May 2020 #28
aw I hate satire. so dissapointing. Dukkha May 2020 #30
I'm very sorry to hear this. NurseJackie May 2020 #31
Zuckerberg was kicked out of Collimator May 2020 #33
Brilliant! SunSeeker May 2020 #37
I hope Facebook's servers become overloaded with satire and bullshit. KY_EnviroGuy May 2020 #38
Gee, I hope this won't go viral on social media... n/t TygrBright May 2020 #42
He can't die.... paleotn May 2020 #43
please help me wrap my head around this is this sataire or real? AllaN01Bear May 2020 #45
It's "free speech." The poster can say whatever Ilsa May 2020 #47
It's not satire..it's just misleading people under the guise of humor. capechacon May 2020 #49
You forgot the sarcasm tag uponit7771 May 2020 #58
It's not up to us whether to judge the truth of information. Dave Starsky May 2020 #63
It's satirizing Z's stance that Facebook has no obligation to Truth. Pacifist Patriot May 2020 #64
These false, Onion-ish stories aren't funny and they aren't helpful. capechacon May 2020 #48
aww RandiFan1290 May 2020 #61
I disagree malaise May 2020 #65
I just posted this on Facebook. kimbutgar May 2020 #50
I take it this is being shared on FB liberal N proud May 2020 #51
I would do it, if I were still on Facebook renate May 2020 #52
K&R ck4829 May 2020 #53
It would be an absolute SHAME Wednesdays May 2020 #55
What? He's only 36? miyazaki May 2020 #56
he started the foundations that became FB whilst he was reading at Harvard in 2003/4. Celerity May 2020 #66
His mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries IronLionZion May 2020 #57

vercetti2021

(10,156 posts)
1. I admit I did get excited
Thu May 28, 2020, 04:35 PM
May 2020

I thought oh thank god another piece of shit is gone off the Earth. But this is funny!

SCantiGOP

(13,869 posts)
67. The both look like Data
Fri May 29, 2020, 01:06 PM
May 2020

from Star Trek Next Generation, but at least Data had an excuse for his inhuman appearance.

malaise

(268,913 posts)
36. Well he doesn't insist that RW folks include the word satire when they make up stuff
Thu May 28, 2020, 06:26 PM
May 2020

so what's good for the goose...

 

certainot

(9,090 posts)
46. aussie humor from "the shovel" --- egs of what they're shovelling.....
Thu May 28, 2020, 07:02 PM
May 2020
Twitter has hired a dedicated team to fact-check Donald Trump’s tweets and the unemployment rate in America is now zero

Australians Urge Queensland To Keep Border Closed Indefinitely

Twitter has hired a dedicated team to fact-check Donald Trump’s tweets and the unemployment rate in America is now zero

Australians Urge Queensland To Keep Border Closed Indefinitely

Josh Frydenberg says he has the numbers to challenge Scott Morrison, with the support of two billion MPs already locked in...........Update: Josh Frydenberg’s office has confirmed that the two-billion figure was incorrect. He actually has the support of three of his colleagues.

“When I want to test my eyesight, I jump behind the wheel of a moving vehicle”, by Dominic Cummings

Josh Frydenberg Says $60 Billion JobKeeper Windfall Will Be Split Evenly Between All 885 Million Australians

Fears Of Rush On Malaria Drug Unfounded, After Trump Supporters Unable To Pronounce Hydroxychloroquine

Dave Starsky

(5,914 posts)
62. There's some speculation that Zuck fucks kids, including his own.
Fri May 29, 2020, 07:53 AM
May 2020

I'm not saying it's true or not, but that seems to be what's being reported. At least, it's all over Facebook.

 

rufus dog

(8,419 posts)
27. However, there are rumors that the one black sheep said Zuckerberg never came near him
Thu May 28, 2020, 06:11 PM
May 2020

and was constantly calling the police on him for grazing.

Celerity

(43,299 posts)
17. Trump Resigns From Presidency To Become Full-Time Writer For Sarah Cooper
Thu May 28, 2020, 04:55 PM
May 2020
https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/05/28/trump-resigns-from-presidency-to-become-full-time-writer-for-sarah-cooper/



Donald Trump has resigned from his position as President to devote more time to creating material for comedian Sarah Cooper.
The comedy duo have enjoyed huge success in recent weeks with their quirky online videos about injecting disinfectant, taking hydroxychloroquine and not understanding the meaning of per-capita.

In one hilarious slapstick routine – written by Trump – there is confusion about the difference between the meaning of testing positive and testing negative.


csziggy

(34,136 posts)
19. I did what was absolutely necessary posted this to Facebook!
Thu May 28, 2020, 04:57 PM
May 2020


I hope it is posted a few million times and that people take it seriously. That would show Zuckerberg why fact checking is needed!

Duncan Grant

(8,262 posts)
21. This is exactly the lens I was looking for.
Thu May 28, 2020, 05:12 PM
May 2020

Thanks for this moment of truth and clarity. It’s perfect satire.

keithbvadu2

(36,764 posts)
24. Will FB now paste links to alternative/corrective viewpoints in the posts?
Thu May 28, 2020, 05:56 PM
May 2020

Will FB now paste links to alternative/corrective viewpoints in the posts?

Oh, wait! That's not their job.

Collimator

(1,639 posts)
33. Zuckerberg was kicked out of
Thu May 28, 2020, 06:22 PM
May 2020

The Vulcan Science Academy for being too robotic and yet completely illogical.

KY_EnviroGuy

(14,489 posts)
38. I hope Facebook's servers become overloaded with satire and bullshit.
Thu May 28, 2020, 06:30 PM
May 2020

They're probably already near capacity from existing trolls, hacks, bullshit, lies, deceptions and doctored photos.


KY...........

paleotn

(17,911 posts)
43. He can't die....
Thu May 28, 2020, 06:51 PM
May 2020

His battery pack can run out, but he can't die. You have to be actually alive to die.

Dave Starsky

(5,914 posts)
63. It's not up to us whether to judge the truth of information.
Fri May 29, 2020, 07:57 AM
May 2020

I believe that even Mr. Zuckerberg would wholeheartedly agree.

Pacifist Patriot

(24,653 posts)
64. It's satirizing Z's stance that Facebook has no obligation to Truth.
Fri May 29, 2020, 08:02 AM
May 2020

If anything can be said with impunity, so can bullshit about him. Basically it's goose-gander satire.

 

capechacon

(91 posts)
48. These false, Onion-ish stories aren't funny and they aren't helpful.
Thu May 28, 2020, 07:07 PM
May 2020

False political humor presented in a straightforward manner just confuse people and occupy space at the DU that could be put to far better use.

kimbutgar

(21,127 posts)
50. I just posted this on Facebook.
Thu May 28, 2020, 07:25 PM
May 2020

I got a note that the picture of Colin kapernack next to the Jack boot thug cop was hidden because it was too offensive.

I will be curious what they do to me.

Celerity

(43,299 posts)
66. he started the foundations that became FB whilst he was reading at Harvard in 2003/4.
Fri May 29, 2020, 09:37 AM
May 2020

Last edited Fri May 29, 2020, 09:52 PM - Edit history (1)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuckerberg

Harvard University (2002–2004)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Facebook

FaceMash, Facebook's predecessor, opened in 2003, developed by Mark Zuckerberg; he wrote the software for the Facemash website when he was in his second year of college. The website was set up as a type of "hot or not" game for Harvard students. The website allowed visitors to compare two female student pictures side by side and let them decide who was more attractive.

snip

A "face book" is a student directory featuring photos and basic information. In 2003, there were no universal online facebooks at Harvard, with only paper sheets distributed and private online directories. Zuckerberg told the Crimson that "Everyone's been talking a lot about a universal face book within Harvard. ... I think it's kind of silly that it would take the University a couple of years to get around to it. I can do it better than they can, and I can do it in a week." In January 2004, Zuckerberg began writing code for a new website, known as "TheFacebook", with the inspiration coming from an editorial in the Crimson about Facemash, stating that "It is clear that the technology needed to create a centralized Website is readily available ... the benefits are many." Zuckerberg met with Harvard student Eduardo Saverin, and each of them agreed to invest $1,000 in the site. On February 4, 2004, Zuckerberg launched it under the name of "TheFacebook", originally located at thefacebook.com.

snip

In June 2004, Facebook moved its base of operations to Palo Alto, California. The company dropped 'The' from its name after purchasing the domain name facebook.com in (August) 2005 for $200,000.

snip

On October 1, 2005, Facebook expanded to twenty-one universities in the United Kingdom and others around the world. Facebook launched a high school version in September 2005, which Zuckerberg called the next logical step. At that time, high school networks required an invitation to join. Facebook later expanded membership eligibility to employees of several companies, including Apple Inc. and Microsoft. On December 11, 2005, universities in Australia and New Zealand were added to the Facebook network, bringing its size to 2,000+ colleges and 25,000+ high schools throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland. Facebook was then opened on September 26, 2006 to everyone aged 13 and older with a valid email address.

snip


I signed up with Facebook when I turned 13 in 2009, but deleted my account in (not sure the exact month, it was in the fall) 2011, as I had developed an aversion to it and I also had serious privacy concerns. I remember stumbling across an old cartoon in 2011 from late 2006 or 2007, where is was a room full of US CIA and NSA people, who (I think some huge scandal had just come out about them snooping on Americans in the mid-noughties) where sitting around pondering about how would they now get people to willingly (as they could not spy on them anymore clandestinely) give up all there person info, daily whereabouts, habits, interests, friends, etc etc, and in ran a fresh-faced Zuckerberg saying, (I am paraphrasing) 'Do I have something to show YOU!!!'

I still have a 2009 Twitter (the very first Tweet ever was March 21, 2006, and it was publicly launched July 15, 2006) account that I only use to read Twitter.

I also have a 2009 YouTube (YT launched April 23, 2005) account, and a Whatsapp (first released January 2009, the main 2.0 version was launched in August, 2009) account. I also have a reddit account (launched late June, 2005) since 2009 as well. I also have been on Skype (launched 29 August 2003) since I was 10 (my parents said it was oki, as I talked to my relatives all over the world on it, and they put money into my account at first) in 2006.

I never did Instagram (launched July 16, 2010), Pinterest (launched March 15th, 2010), Snapchat (launched as Picaboo on July 8, 2011, rebranded as Snapchat in September 2011), Flickr (launched February 10, 2004), Tumblr (launched February 1st, 2007), LinkedIn (launched May 5, 2003), Viber (launched December 2, 2010), Dischord (launched May 13, 2015), or WeChat (launched January 21, 2011.)

I also refuse to use TikTok (launched in China in September 2016, globally September 2017) due to even worse security concerns than I have with Facebook. Same for Telegram (launched 14 August 2013), which is Russian run, and the owners can access your shit, as although it does have client-server encryption, the network developers have encryption keys. Telegram and Gab (launched on August 15, 2016) are littered with white power Nazis and alt-right scum world-wide.

I also do not use Messenger, aka the old Facebook Chat, which was gradually released to users in April 2008. Facebook revamped its messaging platform in November 2010 and subsequently acquired group messaging service Beluga in March 2011, which the company used to launch its standalone mobile apps on August 9, 2011 (I quit FB a month or two after that).

Friendster, (launched in March 2003), hi5 (launched in June 2003), and MySpace (launched in August 2003), were all before my time (their heydays.)

IronLionZion

(45,425 posts)
57. His mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries
Thu May 28, 2020, 10:29 PM
May 2020


Every word of the OP is true, as many Jewish people list Adolf Hitler among their heroes and few 36 year olds don't have at least 8 children and 3 wives these days.
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