Trump pulls all funding for SpaceX through NASA budget.
Marking an end to a nine year absence from American low Earth orbit space flights delivering American astronauts, SpaceX's launch today was and has been 100% successful thus far.
Shortly after the Falcon 9 first stage stuck the landing on its drone ship and two American astronauts were well on their way to the ISS, Trump said today's successful launch was incredibly devastating. Trump was said to be furious as he boarded AF1, kicking chairs and throwing bottles. SpaceX, on NASA's direction had shown what America could accomplish when we come together to focus our efforts, instead of depending on Trump's Russian allies.
Shortly after takeoff, Trump could be seen on videophone speaking to Russian president Putin, visually lip synching "I'm sorry boss. I'm sorry boss, an unidentified source said. He also looked like he followed that up with, "I'll make them pay," before ending the call.
Shortly thereafter, Fox News reported news of SpaceX being notified that all funding had been canceled and NASA had been directed to only work with our Russian allies for all future astronaut space missions. Fox News hosts were seen crying with joy.
