"I don't have friend of another race and I don't care to"

[NYCButterfinger]

This was what a white woman told me this morning at my local Sayreville ShopRite in New Jersey.

We were discussing the election and she is undecided, and also apolitical.

She said however, she is disgusted by Black Lives Matter and says she won't care if "segregation came back"

"The races don't get along, so segregation won't hurt", she told me.

"I don't have a friend of another race and I don't care to"

"I don't even remember hanging around another race in school, we were all equals in my eyes"

She doesn't understand why Colin Kaepernick, LeBron James, and the NFL are involved in social justice issues.

She said she is bothered by the fact that Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons are involved in voting rights issues.

She says that "we are still equals, I don't understand how the NFL doesn't think we are equals."

I told her to think carefully about race and to think differently about what she is doing.

Yikes.

[JI7]

1. LOL , She isn't Undecided or Apolitical . She is a racist trump supporter

[LakeArenal]

2. Who won't admit it. Delusional just like dump.

[redstatebluegirl]

4. Yep, there is no way she would support our party as racist as she is.

She may be one of those "hidden trump supporters" who won't say they support him but when you talk to them it is apparent where they are.

[OneBro]

5. Yup. She's about as undecided as David Duke.

[NYCButterfinger]

12. She's not political. She doesn't like Trump. She votes the person not party.

Voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012 but said the Democrats have no plans on healthcare, social issues and economy.

Says the Republicans are too homophobic and focused on abortion.

She's pro-choice.

[JI7]

13. none of that indicates being apolitical. She is a Trump supporter that doesn't

want to admit it.

[NYCButterfinger]

15. She voted for Gary Johnson in 2016, voted for Corzine for gov in 2009 and Christie in 2013

Her father is from Georgia, that is why she was an Atlanta Falcons fan until the team supported BLM

&t=267s

She said BLM and the Falcons lost her when they started rioting.

She feels bad for Floyd and Taylor but says rioting does no justice.

[JonLP24]

30. The vast majority of protests are peaceful

Over 90%. Rioting is a separate issue from systemic racism.

I know not arguing with you but felt like addressing her points.

[NYCButterfinger]

37. She says Matt Ryan and the Falcons should focus on winning a Super Bowl

not involved with BLM and social rights.

She said that she thought that black people already are equals already.

[ahoysrcsm]

84. Why can't they do both?

We can multi task. Winning the superbowl will not interfere with BLM protests.

[Caliman73]

54. She is political. Maybe...maybe, she is not Partisan, but she is political

If she is Pro-Choice, then she is political.

If she thinks Democrats have no plans on healthcare... she sounds dumb, but she IS political

If she says Republicans are too homophobic and focused on abortion... she is correct, still dumb, AND still political.

If she believes in segregation, then she has racialized views, maybe not an overt racist, but that remains to be seen. We can't know what is inside a person's head (except Trump. He is easy) but if she never had Black friends it is one of two things. Either she was not exposed (which is certainly possible based on location and age) or she has racial prejudice.

I grew up around Black people. Many of my friends in grade school were black. Some in my extended family had very racist views too, so I struggled with my relationships given my personal experiences and family teaching. Currently I do not have many Black friends but that is because I live in an area that is predominantly White and Latino. If a Black friend situation presented itself to me, I would not hesitate because I value people's experiences and try not to judge anyone based on the melanin content in their skin.

People are complicated and may have views that skew one way or another, not solely on party lines, HOWEVER at this point in our history, the differences between the parties are SO STARK, that they lie along the axis of foundational principles.

Undecided and unaffiliated voters to me, sound like people who want to adhere to their beliefs without getting the whole stench of the uglier sides of the party's policies on them.

You cannot (in my opnion) vote for a Republican without accepting that they are okay with separating immigrant children from their parents for strictly punitive reasons. You cannot vote for a Republican without accepting that they blocked any attempts at actually reforming healthcare and have been trying to kill the very moderate reforms pushed by Democrats, for the last 10 years.

You can certainly be frustrated with the seeming tepidness of some Democratic policies and lack of fire and pushing, but you cannot, absolutely not, with any sense of reality, say that there is not a difference between how Democrats and Republicans fundamentally view the role of government.

I think that the people calling her a Trumper or a racist, are off base and too quick to jump to essentialism. Your friend however, is not apolitical. She also needs to examine her biases and he true views on race. The whole "we are all equal" thing in my opinion, is a cop out and a way for some White people, not to have to think about the VERY different ways that Black people and White people have been treated in this country. It is like saying, "I don't see color/race". Well, that's nice. Likely because you have never had to. You have never been walking in the community and had to think about whether police were going to stop you, or if your presence was putting you at risk for being attacked, or if someone was going to be afraid because you look "suspicious" even though you are wearing work casual clothing and doing some innocuous thing. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK OR BROWN.

[NYCButterfinger]

64. She says we are all equal, but we should be separate but equal

She said words have power.

She said that black people hate white people and white people hate black people.

That black people should not live with their oppressors, so they should live apart, in a separate but equal setting.

She spoke about the TMZ report about the Freedom, Georgia project where Black people are creating their own town for Black people.

She said good for them, as long as they are not around her or her family.

She said that white athletes like Joe Burrow and Matt Ryan should not have to be involved in social affairs. She calls it "inappropriate"

I told her again to think about what she is saying and what legacy she would leave on Earth one day.

https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/12/19-black-families-buy-97-acres-land-georgia-freedom-safe-community/

[JonLP24]

67. She seems like a lost cause to me

[NYCButterfinger]

69. She can be educated on healthcare. She's not. Most people are segregationist by nature

To each their kind

That's her problem, not mine


She's done watching the Falcons and the NFL until they stop talking about racial issues, etc

She mentioned a New York Times story she read this morning about the Atlanta Falcons and social activism work and that "turned her off'

She picks up the paper at ShopRite every morning, and she buys her bagels at the local bakery off Washington Road


https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/17/sports/football/inside-one-nfl-teams-attempt-to-turn-protest-into-action.html?searchResultPosition=2

[JonLP24]

71. She seems to be using rhetoric from the 60s which surprises me that she is in her 30s

I don't buy into we can't get along. I served in the military with different ethnicities, religions, and creeds and most of us got along.

Matt Ryan & Joe Burrow likely have black friends that she lacks and they support their teammates. The NFL teams are proof people can get along and not only that work together for a common goal like winning the Super Bowl.

[NYCButterfinger]

72. She said that 28-3 Falcons disaster should be Ryan's goal, not racial equality

She said that we already achieved racial equality in the 1960s, which was good

But she sees a sharp return to segregation and separation, and she won't mind it one bit

She says race relations are gone

She respects all races, but she says she prefers her kind.

She says Blacks favor Blacks, Latinos favor Latinos, Asians prefer Asians, but why can't Whites prefer Whites.

She says she wants to be alone and to live in comfort.

Sayreville is 67% white, 16% Asian, 12% Latino, 10% Black, and 0.23% Native American.

[Caliman73]

86. Ask her to define what White is.

There is some validity that people from specific ethnic, national, community. etc... backgrounds tend to want to be with people who share their experiences in life. However, that blanket statement is ridiculous.

Latinos favor Latinos? Really? Call a Salvadorian "Mexican" or vice versa, and see what happens. Does she think that Chinese people and Japanese people live together in harmony? But I digress.

Ask her to explain what a "White person" without saying what a White person is not.

White is an arbitrary and exclusive term that was developed to discriminate against Black and Brown people. At certain points in history, Irish, Polish, and Italian people were not considered White, but were incorporated into the definition of White when alliances with Black people to demand civil rights were starting to take hold.

[csziggy]

70. Separate but equal has been proven to be a very bad idea

This woman should be reminded of how bad black schools were compared to white ones before the Supreme Court said that "separate but equal" was unlawful.

As for blacks living separately in their own communities, ask her to look up the Tulsa Riots when the segregated black areas were destroyed by whites, or Roseville, Florida where there was a massacre of blacks because some racist white woman lied, or the Ocoee, Florida, massacre when blacks were killed and run out of town just because they wanted to vote.

This woman is a racist but does not want to admit it to herself. By buying into the language of racists she is enabling them and proving she is one of them.

If she does not want to live in a community along side the descendants of slave who were brought here in chains, she should go back where her ancestors came from. This country should be on the road to continuing the melting pot we used to brag about being, not letting racist continue the hate.

[Caliman73]

76. Separate but equal was never a thing.

There has always been an element of Black Separatism in the US. You had Marcus Garvey and Malcolm X at the beginning of his career, and some groups today. That is a response to the systemic oppression. Every time that Black people have tried (and succeeded) in setting up a thriving community, it was destroyed by White people.

Your friend may not be a racist, but she certainly sounds like a bigot.

[NYCButterfinger]

77. Separate but equal is a thing. She says she doesn't care about minorities

nor want anything from minorities.

She said she lost respect for minorities after the looting in June, she boarded up her home in Sayreville because she said that "looters from Camden and Newark" would travel to Sayreville and South River.

She just wants to live a peaceful, comfortable Sayreville suburban life.

Her first presidential vote was for Bush in 2004, she was a Bush-Obama-Obama-Johnson voter.

For U.S. Senate, she voted for Kean Jr. (2006)-Zimmer (2008)-Menendez (2012)-Booker (2013)-Booker (2013)-Hugin (2018)

For governor, she voted for Forrester (2005)-Corzine (2009)-Christie (2013)-Murphy (2017)

She volunteered for Corzine '09 and donated $2,000 to State Sen. Jennifer Beck in 2017, a moderate Republican who lost, but she does try to tune out from politics.

[Caliman73]

85. Separate but equal is not a valid thing. It is a segregationist excuse.

Minorities have never been treated equally in this country. Black people have been saddled with intergenerational injustice starting with slavery, kept on through Jim Crow, and throughout the Civil Rights movement. 400 years of intergenerational wealth was kept from them or stolen and they are supposed to be happy that in 1965 they were allowed to vote? Or that housing and other societal goods were now legally available? Does she think that magically, after 400 years, that the attitudes of discrimination and segregation disappeared because the government said it was illegal to withhold services based on skin color? If she does, then she is either ridiculously naive, or willfully ignorant.

Of course she doesn't care about minorities she is a bigot. Her votes are irrelevant. She is informed by a bigoted idea of race.

She lost respect for minorities in June....ha! She found an excuse for her bigotry in June. She likely never had respect for people who are minorities. Based on your description it seems obvious she understands nothing of what minorities have gone through in the United States.

She should stay away from politics. She sounds too ignorant to be able to participate.

[NYCButterfinger]

87. We have made progress since 1964, I'm not going to sit here and say we haven't

We have come a long way, we have a long way to go

They are more equal rights in 2020 than there was in 1965, okay?

We have to continue to fight for everyone to have equal rights---everyone. Period. Including the woman I spoke to yesterday.

People choose to be with people who are like themselves

[Proud liberal 80]

3. Wow

The stuff racist white people are willing to see in front of other white people

[LakeArenal]

6. Does she have any friends? White black green blue?

She seems so nice....

[Spazito]

7. LOL

This is almost the same as the last person you interacted with, interesting.

[obnoxiousdrunk]

17. That other person

was a white guy. Everything else sounds familiar.

[Spazito]

21. LOL

Good point, the gender is different, the racism and obsession with black football players and BLM is, gosh, almost identical, go figure!

[greenjar_01]

25. Sports--anti-BLM--NJ--Demoralize

It's truly pitiful.

[Spazito]

27. Yep....

I wonder if there is a spot where all these black football player, blm obsesses racist haters hang out in New Jersey, it sure seems like it!

[demmiblue]

28. I missed the last one...

but how does someone who bumps into a random person in the grocery store know so much about them?!

I have never once engaged to that degree with someone in a store. If they started spewing crap like that, I would probably roll my eyes and walk away (and maybe say a few brief words while I am walking away)!

[Spazito]

32. I wonder if they walk around with their information on a sandwich board...

that's about the only way one would know so much detail about a complete stranger, imo.

[NYCButterfinger]

33. She is an friend of my cousin

That's why

We just happened to bump into each other.

I shop for groceries at ShopRite, and we saw each other

She started talking about what's going on and politics came up

She is really undecided.

She doesn't like Trump, or his policies.

But she does not like Biden either.

She is also undecided on who to vote for U.S. Senate, she is not a fan of Cory Booker, who is up for reelection.

[Spazito]

35. Cool story, bro n/t

[cwydro]

44. Yes.

[LanternWaste]

31. I think his Freudian slip is showing... just a wee bit bit.

Sometimes, people think they're smoother than Metamucil.

[Spazito]

39. It is amazing that "a white woman told me"....

to "a friend of my cousin" once questions about how the poster knew so much about the "white woman".

Evolving stories are always fun to watch develop, lol.

[greenjar_01]

40. Honestly, is it so simple as to present a persona through which you peddle right wing

talking points as indirect discourse?

What is happening here?

Good God.

[Spazito]

46. I have to admit I find it amusing...

sometimes, waiting to see when the next 'fix the previous oops' explanation will occur and what it will be.

[greenjar_01]

53. I don't find it amusing...these posts are deeply fucking racist...that's it's fobbed off on a

supposed third party and therefore made into indirect discourse doesn't make it any less hurtful and harmful to the community, and especially our brown and black posters and board members. Twenty racist posts that are just "well, it's somebody else saying it, tra la." It's outrageous. It's not funny at all. This OP promotes fucking segregation, for God's sake. Oh, sorry, innocently, "That's just what this white suburbanite young woman said," doncha know?

This is disgusting.

[Spazito]

57. Well, seeing as their OP has not been removed by the poster...

mockery is the best we can do, just like we do with the current occupant of the White House.

Hopefully things will change soon regarding these kinds of OPs.

[greenjar_01]

61. Agreed

[JonLP24]

74. I agree

I will probably take a break from this site.

[NYCButterfinger]

78. I'm not promoting segregation, I'm telling you what an woman told me at ShopRite

I am not promoting segregation.

I am telling you that some people are nuts and she is a undecided voter in blue NJ

[cwydro]

81. Spot on.

Not even very clever.

[cwydro]

48. Indeed.

[cwydro]

52. Damn, i missed that one!

Now I’m even more curious.

[Croney]

8. I don't see how anyone can claim to be totally one race, especially white.

We all bubbled up from the same cauldron. Oh, except the fictional Adam and Eve who apparently were white and created all the rest of humanity that turned out to be a rainbow of colors...

[rurallib]

9. hope you had a mask on. Whatever she has may be contagious.

[NYCButterfinger]

11. She had a mask, I had a mask.

[Claustrum]

10. That sounds like the same reasoning that COVID is fake

unless someone close to me has died.

[eppur_se_muova]

14. Probably lived in a bubble her whole life.

I'm guessing white suburban, supported by her husband, never worked. Never mingles outside her neighborhood and old school chums.

Just a guess.

[NYCButterfinger]

16. She is a white suburbanite from Sayreville, a working class town in Central Jersey

Barely voted for Hillary in 2016.

She moved to Sayreville in the '80s after her parents got jobs at the industrial plants like DuPont, etc.

[eppur_se_muova]

18. I've met a few women like that. They think the whole country lives about as happily as they do ...

... and think the few who don't, have done something wrong. They don't pay much attention to news, or any challenges to their worldview.

When people say they believe America was better off in the Fifties, that's the kind of life they're thinking about. And it ignores the fact that a lot of people weren't sharing in that happiness, much less prosperity. But watching network TV at the time, you wouldn't know that. Life in a bubble.

[LanternWaste]

34. That's certainly quite a bit of background for someone you merely encountered at a store...

But I'm sure that too will be rationalized with additional stories... each one of which (oddly enough) contains a particular strain of narrative.

[Takket]

19. Yeah she is about as apolitical as Moscow Mitch

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

20. Right now I don't have any ongoing friendships

with people of any other race. Which makes me a bit sad. In my defense, it's not because I won't hang out with such people, but because I have a very small circle of friends, which is even smaller since this pandemic started.

[RhodeIslandOne]

22. Hopefully she does not vote

It really is amazing how they think "entertainers" should keep their opinions to themselves. Like they are not Americans too.

I asked a guy at work if he would want to be black. He looked at me almost horrified. "No!" he said.

ME:"And why not?"

HIM:"I just wouldn't!"

ME:"But you know why, right?"

HIM:"NO! I JUST WOULDN'T WANT TO BE BLACK!".

[maxsolomon]

23. A very kind response, considering.

How old was this woman?

[NYCButterfinger]

26. She's in her 30s

[maxsolomon]

45. Jesus Mary and Joseph. I'd have fucking GONE OFF.

Sayreville is an exurb of NYC, right?

There have to be thousands of African Americans and Asian Americans in your town. If she's lived there since her childhood, she went to school with them.

NJ is going to vote overwhelmingly for Biden so she doesn't matter that much, but that level of willful ignorance is just appalling.

[NYCButterfinger]

50. Yes, they are a lot of Black and Asian people in my town

Yes, Sayreville is an exurb of NYC.


Middlesex County is fairly diverse, did not vote for a Republican since Bush in 1988.

But Middlesex is a bellwether in state elections.

Blue collar areas like Woodbridge, Edison, Sayreville, Old Bridge, South Amboy and South River voted for Christie in 2009 and 2013

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

24. That's a really selfish perspective

Just because she isn't friends with people from other races... What about other people that are friends with people of different races? What about multi-racial families? Segregation definitely would hurt.

[greenjar_01]

29. For anyone interested: Sayreville is in the NJ 6th Congressional District

The 6th has elected Democrats to Congress since 1983. It reelected Frank Pallone with almost 64% of the vote in 2018.

The 6th voted for Democrats for President in each of the following years:

1992 - Close, but Clinton
1996 - Clinton
2000 - Gore
2004 - Kerry
2008 - Obama
2012 - Obama
2016 - Clinton

NYCButterfingers meets a lot of Republicans in his heavily Democratic Congressional district.

[NYCButterfinger]

36. Everywhere has Republicans and Democrats

She is not a Republican.

She is an Independent voter.

She went all in for Jon Corzine in 2009, then voted for Chris Christie in 2013

[greenjar_01]

38. Sure sure

[MizLibby]

42. You musta been in the market for a very long while

to find out so much about this woman. And I must commend you on your memory of details. In other words, I'm not buying your story. Why you'd make it up, I don't know, but this whole thing seems fishy to me.

[NYCButterfinger]

47. This is not made up. I would not make something up like this

We spent 30 minutes talking.

She is my cousin's friend, so I have known her for a while.

She is a young, white suburban woman who is disillusioned with race relations in America.

She says that the races will never mix or get along, and that athletes should stay QUIET.

New Jersey is a light blue state, not a deep blue state.

She is a Independent.

She did not vote for Trump in 2016. She despises Trump, but is not sure about Biden

[MizLibby]

58. I believe you...

I forget that everyone is not like me and doesn't especially like chatting with people. Hell, I cant remember what I had for lunch yesterday, let alone who someone else voted for in 2009. Thanks for sharing your conversation.

[NYCButterfinger]

65. Sayreville is the Missouri/Ohio/Florida of New Jersey

It goes either ways.

Sayreville is the microcosm of New Jersey.

You have poor
Blue Collar
Little Bit of Rich

Sayreville goes either way

https://observer.com/2009/01/democrats-wont-take-middlesex-for-granted/

[Wicked Blue]

83. NJ has pockets of intense racism

Sayreville and some of the surrounding towns were right-wing white working class back when I lived in NJ. 1950s-1980s.
Jamesburg was reputed to have some Klan activity back in my day.

I grew up in Wayne NJ, which was extremely racist and anti-Semitic. There was at least one development where houses had covenants prohibiting sale to anyone who was black, Jewish or Italian.

The first protest I took part in was against a school board member who said Jews shouldn't be allowed on the board of education because they were too liberal and spent too much money. This man was elected became mayor, I'm sorry to say, and then represented the area on congress for several terms. I stayed registered to vote with my parents' address just so I could go back and vote against him again and again.

Wayne is now multi-ethnic, from what I've heard. But mostly upper middle class and wealthy ethic.

[maxsolomon]

49. welcome to DU

your suspicion of this anecdote will make you a lot of friends here!

[MizLibby]

66. Thank you max!

Hoping your comment wasn't sarcasm, If so, thanks for the heads up.

[Polybius]

41. Wow, Trump is so bad even the White Nationalists are undecided

I guess that's a good thing, perhaps one less vote for Trump.

[NYCButterfinger]

51. She's not a white nationalist. She's not involved in that stuff.

[Polybius]

56. You are right

She's not, but she definitely sounds a bit racist.

[Klaralven]

43. No one is obligated to have friends of their own or any other race

You should have few friends, fewer lovers, and no enemies.

[Squinch]

60. You have clearly missed the point.

[cwydro]

55. I never have these political discussions in grocery stores.

Even before the pandemic, I shop and I leave.

When I see people I know, we may speak but its a quick hey, how are ya? Never a political discussion.

I must be doing something wrong.

[Spazito]

62. LOL, me too...

I guess I must be too romaine obsessed, I'll have to work on that.

[cwydro]

80. "Romaine obsessed"

Me too, I guess.

[Squinch]

59. Ignorant racist assholes tend to be ignorant and racist. And assholes.

The scary thing is that she seems to have so little idea about how disgusting she is that she is comfortable saying this to a stranger. There must be tons of people around her tolerating this shit or sharing her opinions.

[DFW]

63. I must be spending too much time out of the country

My friends are neither “of my race” nor “of other races.”

I just have friends.

[lame54]

68. As if it's her choice

[Buckeye_Democrat]

73. Good grief.

I don't have any black friends right now either, but I also don't have ANY friends at this time. Lol.

Just siblings, and former coworkers with whom I didn't keep in touch despite the unrealistic ideas of doing so.

I don't become good friends with people who are too different from me, though, regardless of skin color. Given my scholastic interests, and me typically working in blue collar settings, it hasn't been easy to make strong connections. Lol.

[yardwork]

75. Willful ignorance. She's closed her mind to learning anything more.

[NYCButterfinger]

79. The Northeast is not really that BLUE

New Jersey is a swing state at the local level, but blue on presidential level

She is a classic blue collar suburban swing voter.

She's passionate about abortion, very, very passionate.

But she wants segregated schools, she liked Christie's fair formula in equal funding for all schools instead of "urban schools"

[electric_blue68]

82. Too bad. She's missing out on the pontential of...

some real good friendships.