You Can Bet Trump's Debate Prep Was a Total Shitshow

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You didn’t think this president was going to prepare like a grown-ass adult, did you? From the family to the Vichy staff, here are three more likely scenarios.

Rick Wilson
Editor-At-Large
Updated Sep. 29, 2020 9:08AM ET

Debate preparation is one of the ancient rituals of political campaigns, a necessary moment of rehearsal for a consequential inflection point. Imagine, if you will, a room full of rabid monkeys hurling their feces at high velocity.

Which is, of course, why the president spent part of his weekend and Monday tweeting about Joe Biden taking a drug test before the debate. (Pro tip, Donald: If you’re trying to convince us you’re not into watersports, stop talking so much about people peeing.)

Trump’s attention span is notoriously short. We’re talking sub-millisecond short. He flits from idea to idea like a springtime insect feeding on the waste pool outside the local meth factory.

Knowing he’s never going to prepare like a grown-ass adult president, I present a few selections from the more likely versions of debate prep. He rarely listens to anyone for long, but between his family, his White House sycophants, and his Island of Misfit Toys campaign team, everyone might get a tiny bit of the attention apple before it’s over… not that it will do a damn bit of good.

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https://www.thedailybeast.com/what-debate-prep-heres-how-trumps-really-getting-ready-for-biden

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Brutal.

[Newest Reality]

1. Have a snort...

Have another big snort of inspiration, Predator Grump.

Adolph would certainly have approved and it worked like Fascist rocket fuel in the past.

[lagomorph777]

2. "Island of Misfit Toys campaign team"

Looking at you, Brad.

[soothsayer]

3. Aww, but I LIKE the toys

[lagomorph777]

6. Yeah, me too - but I get the point.

[soothsayer]

4. He's been watching old Joe debates

If that counts

[Windy City Charlie]

5. What I anticipate

I look for Trump to act like a 5 year old child. Complaining about the rules, different things like that. And if anything, he's so narcistic that he's going to make sure everyone's talking about him afterward, no matter how much of an ass he makes himself look.