Feeling of dread

[bottomofthehill]

The last 8 months have been very difficult for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. I have been very careful to always wear a mask, have dramatically limited where I go, what I do, who I have over, how I have celebrated the holidays. I have gone to work because I have to, but my wife has been working from home as her job allowed her.

Watching the vaccine roll out of the plant and then go into the arms of healthcare workers brought me great pride in the human race and and I thought there would be a wave of relief.

I am more nervous now than I have been since the first day they started locking down. I have this heavy feeling of dread that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am not going to get there. I was so excited Sunday but have not slept well since.

Please, please, please, people, act responsibly, wear a mask, wash your hands, social distance, do all you can to keep the spread from reaching further into the fabric of our society.

I know I am preaching to the converted here but I had to say it somewhere in hopes that I get it off my chest and can maybe get some sleep tonight.

[dawg]

1. It's natural to feel that way.

We're going to make it. The next few months will be rough, but we know what we need to do to protect ourselves.

[JoeOtterbein]

2. Also....

...stay home if possible!

[bottomofthehill]

11. I can't do my job from home.

Man I wish I could. The job is kind of a vector for Covid I deal with people from people coming in from all over the country.

[JoeOtterbein]

12. I wish I could tell your customers to stay home and give you...

...a call instead!

Take care!

[bottomofthehill]

14. Thanks for the good wishes

I will take the best care possible. I use so much hand sanitizer I think I can taste it at times. Between the soap and water and hand sanitizer my hands are a mess. I am at the point that I slather lotion on my hands and sleep with Sox on my hands. I never thought of myself as OCD, but now I wonder. I have bought surgical masks, kn95 masks, bandanas, face shields, washable cloth masks, antibacterial soap, regular soap alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, Clorox the only thing I don’t have is Lysol and that’s only because I can’t find any.

All this crap can’t be good but I feel like I am doing something.

[JoeOtterbein]

16. From what I understand regular hand soap is fine to clean the virus from the hands.

Something to do with the way soap breaks down the virus (my words).

In food safety we used to teach that vigorous friction from the first hand wash followed by a second wash with regular soap removed most pathogens from the hands. And did it much better than hand sanitizers.

Take care again!

[Rorey]

3. I totally get what you're saying

I was just saying on another thread that it's been "a day" for me. I can't really put my finger on it, but I think that it's because I've been trying to keep my resolve for all these months, and now we finally get the chance to feel some hope that we're actually going to get out of what was seeming like an endless nightmare.

The nightmare really started on election night 2016. How could we even imagine how awful it could get?

Maybe we're afraid to hope, in a way, because of ......... everything.

[Skittles]

4. I see you still have the upside-down flag

me too, until that fascist bastard Trump is GONE

[bottomofthehill]

9. Goes back up at noon on 01/20/2021

[Skittles]

20. YOU KNOW IT

I'll be doing it when I wake up in the afternoon

[Jarqui]

5. It's been a gut-wrenching year

We know the next quarter is going to be bad.

If you got through to one person tonight, you've done a good thing.

You probably did.

[lunatica]

6. Just keep taking care of yourselves

It’s just a matter of months. We can all keep up the distancing and wearing the masks for a little longer.

I hope they keep us constantly updated on every single development of these vaccines being used.

I’m staying at home like I have all year. Things are good.

[AmericanCanuck]

7. I'm sure 100% of DU follows the guidelines

Democrats believe in science and not cult leaders like Trump.

The danger is outside in the real world and I'm sure DUers are safe .. unless they have close family that are trumpkins.

[CanonRay]

8. I keep thinking of getting killed 11/10 1918

and how tragic.

[bottomofthehill]

10. That's where my mind keeps going.

To be so close...scares the hell out of me.

[Walleye]

17. Yes. I keep remembering John Kerry testifying about Vietnam

In front of a congressional committee. Saying: “How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in a war? “Don’t know why that keeps going through my head

[Bayard]

22. I have been having similar thoughts

Its tragic for anyone to die from this horrible disease, but I'd think it is worst to know you're dying, but could have lived if you'd been able to get the vaccine in time.

[mnhtnbb]

13. You are not alone.

I am closing on a house I bought--being built--next Tuesday. It will get me out of a 23 story high rise apartment building where I reside on the 17th floor. It was great pre-pandemic, but I have felt like I was playing Russian roulette every time I got on the elevator since March. After my dog died in June, I dramatically scaled back how many times/day I had to leave my apartment.

I think the virus is now in the building. One day last week a woman who was waiting for the elevator with her dog suggested I not get on the elevator with her (we are allowed 3 people with masks on an elevator at a time) because she said she was "sick". SHIT!!! Flu? A cold? Or COVID? Since then, the building management has announced that they will now allow food deliveries to come up the elevator to people's doors. And today they sent an e-mail saying they will do package deliveries to doors for an hour in the afternoon if we sign up for it. It sounds suspiciously like they are trying to accommodate tenants not having to leave their apartments.

Even though my house is closing next week, I am not moving until Jan 6th. Couldn't get the movers scheduled for the week between Christmas and New Year's because the builder didn't give me enough notice and the mover was already booked. I'm using a locally owned moving company I've previously used, and the owner told me he's not booking as many moves because he's worried someone on one of his crews will get sick.

I have this horrible dread that I've made it this far to being able to move out into my own house, and that somehow I'll now get sick before I can move. Last Thursday night I woke up at 12:30 am and never could go back to sleep. Last night I was up at midnight, watched a movie for 2 hours, and luckily was able to sleep until 6:30. Haven't tried going to bed yet, hoping to be able to sleep tonight.

And this morning when I went down to pick up a package? Waiting for the elevator was an unmasked guy. I did not get on the elevator with him. Waited for another elevator and was able to ride alone.

[bottomofthehill]

15. I totally feel you.

Keep keeping safe. Congratulations on the new house!

[Lars39]

29. Could you "take a trip" and just stay at your house

with minimal stuff until you can move?

[mnhtnbb]

30. No, I'm not the camping out type.

I am planning to go at least every other day with small things I can easily fit in the car. Help reduce what the movers have to pack. At least spend a few hours away from the confinement of my apartment. It will also allow me to go for a walk in the neighborhood and not be confronted with maskless people who walk around near my downtown apartment.

[Lars39]

31. I understand

I know that gets old really quick. We moved from a small apartment last year into a largish rental house. Makes grocery deliveries much easier. Hang in there, won’t be much longer.

[SergeStorms]

18. I think that very thought....

has crossed most people's minds. You're not alone thinking that. You can't live life worrying about things like that. Give up the illusion of control over your life. Just do the best you possibly can and leave the rest to your god, karma, fate, or whatever you believe in, if anything. We're all in the same boat with you.

[bottomofthehill]

19. Thanks

I think I had to get something off my chest, but reality is misery loves company and it’s interesting to see how others are coping or dealing with this insanity.

[Vivienne235729]

21. I think we all feel this way every so often. It's hard not when you look around

And see all these idiots running around oblivious to a raging pandemic that is killing 3,000 people a day. It is horrifying.

[argyl]

23. 2020 was a truly horrible year. For the whole planet.

I'm all in with John Oliver saying, " Fuck you 2020."

2021 will be a much better year. A much, much better year.

[shanti]

24. I'm trying to stay positive

My grown son, 40, has to uproot and live with me now, since his father died in October of Covid. We haven't lived together in years, so it's going to be a transition for both of us. DURING freaking Covid! He will be getting on a plane and flying up this Saturday. I'm very concerned that he will bring it in the house, as I rarely leave myself, but don't really have any options. Planning to make him quarantine in a bedroom for 10 days, but who knows if that will work?

[EndlessWire]

25. The body reacts to stress.

Calm down. Steady as she goes.

Look at what we have done! We rallied the most voters in history to kick out a wannabe dictator. We won!

Our medical people rustled up the fastest vaccine production time we have ever seen! We are now vaccinating!

YOU have bought a house, a home to live in! You did it!

And, you are not sick right now! Keep doing whatever you are doing to stay that way.

Get plenty of sleep, relax, listen to whatever music you like, and hang tough! G-d has saved you for a reason.

[Cassidy]

26. I think your foreboding is understandable.

I am sure people will let their guard down, using the vaccine as an excuse. A vaccine is not a cure, but they will ignore that fact.

I work retail. I wear at least two masks at work: a surgical underneath and a home made one on top (4 cotton layers from an old sheet, washed after every use). On days when I work with my Trumpist boss, who says he wants to catch Covid and "get it over with," and who is unreliable about his own mask wearing, I also wear a face shield. The face shield is closed at the top with foam insulation, loosely closed at the bottom edge with a double rectangular scarf attached to the face shield along the shield edge with eight stud earrings. The scarf is tied in the back at the top of my head, but the bottom edges loosely hang over my clothes. Better to look like an idiot than be one. Actually, customers have complemented my "bee-keeper" design and even taken pictures.

The message my attire sends is that I take Covid seriously and you should too. Customers who see me reach for their masks if they don't have them on already. And it helps me feel a little safer from the nose exposers as well.

I also wear pins that say, "Thanks for wearing a mask" etc. Peer pressure and trying to set a good example is sometimes all we have.

We are keeping ourselves and each other safer by all the choices that we are making. I hope you can find some peace in that.

[bottomofthehill]

28. I love it when people model food behavior

It does send a message and hopefully people pick up on it and do the right thing.

[ansible]

27. I have a feeling 2021 will be much much worse too

Can't help but feel that things aren't getting better at all.

[EndlessWire]

32. They ARE getting better!

There is no instantaneous, wave-your-hand-and-it's-gone solution. People will have to continue to cooperate by wearing a mask and participating in the social distancing we are currently practicing. Those that receive the first doses have to return for the second.

But, if the vaccines work as advertised, we are winning! Yes, the holidays will probably bring out more infections that could have been avoided. But, we have two, maybe three new vaccines to work with, and sooner or later we will all have the opportunity to stick our arms out for the shots.

Perhaps we can help other countries, too!

The Moderna vaccine is reported to lessen the severity of infection as well as prevention. So, hopefully, this will help a great deal.

Don't give up! We didn't give up getting rid of tRump, and we are not giving up beating this plague! Same principles apply. Stick together and follow instructions.