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yardwork

(61,585 posts)
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 01:59 PM Apr 2021

Brides' wedding was ruined when videographer walked out before vows

For folks who wonder why us LGBT people care when videographers, photographers, bakers, and other businesses discriminate against us, please read this article.

https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/article250821389.html

A Charlotte videographer who had contracted to capture images of a wedding this month in Hendersonville walked out as the ceremony started when he realized the couple getting married were both women.

Bride Clarissa Templeton said Seth Curl’s sudden departure — without speaking to anyone at the event — was devastating to her and her now wife, Teegan Bullock Templeton. It cast a pall over their once-in-a-lifetime moment and left them with no professional footage of their vows, though they had paid in full for the service.

.....

As she was selecting vendors for the wedding, Templeton said, she was careful to search for LGBTQ-friendly businesses and as she talked to their representatives, made sure they knew she was planning a same-sex wedding.

Templeton did that, she said, “Because of where I live and how I’ve grown up and the people I’ve been around, the things I have experienced from people who don’t know me, because of who I love and who I’m with.”



39 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Brides' wedding was ruined when videographer walked out before vows (Original Post) yardwork Apr 2021 OP
Rule #1 never pay up front for anything MagickMuffin Apr 2021 #1
In the world of wedding vendors, upfront payment is required. yardwork Apr 2021 #8
A-hole, you had one job and you violated the social contract to be a good human RANDYWILDMAN Apr 2021 #2
Given that she announced it in advance DENVERPOPS Apr 2021 #13
A shame. And she looked for a friendly business to do the photo shoot too. So did the photog. SWBTATTReg Apr 2021 #3
Read the whole article. It's disgraceful. yardwork Apr 2021 #10
Thanks for posting this and the link which has all the details. SharonClark Apr 2021 #4
That is really a sweet thing for her aunt to do Hekate Apr 2021 #5
sh*tty thing to do. Demovictory9 Apr 2021 #6
seth curl.. young guy to be such a bigot Demovictory9 Apr 2021 #7
Age is evidently not an issue for bigotry. Harker Apr 2021 #15
This is why I've never bought... Montauk6 Apr 2021 #18
Same here Rebl2 Apr 2021 #22
People have been saying that since at least the 50s Withywindle Apr 2021 #28
Yeah, I never bought that or people saying, "99% of people are good people" SunImp Apr 2021 #39
Groomed by his church/parents to be a bigot. progressoid Apr 2021 #21
That was nasty, but I hope in time it becomes just another family story to roll their eyes over... Hekate Apr 2021 #9
Actually, many of the people who love them couldn't be there, because of COVID. yardwork Apr 2021 #11
Yes, it was awful. But they have a choice... Hekate Apr 2021 #12
I don't understand people who hold such grudges like this cinematicdiversions Apr 2021 #25
In this case it's becsuse of the bigotry . It would be different if JI7 Apr 2021 #34
Hendersonville, N.C. Traildogbob Apr 2021 #14
Thank you for posting. Behind the Aegis Apr 2021 #16
What you said. yardwork Apr 2021 #36
Videographer is now seeing consequences IbogaProject Apr 2021 #17
me, I, I, me, my, my, my, I, I, I, I...and then he apologizes. Iggo Apr 2021 #30
these folk need to put in their web pages they don't serve gay folk Skittles Apr 2021 #31
He needs to have his ass sued off, his reputation ruined for life. Bigots and Racists - No quarter. Tommymac Apr 2021 #32
Why do I get the feeling he knew this was a same sex wedding ahead of time. patphil Apr 2021 #19
Yeah, he knew. He's just surprised no one's backing him up. Iggo Apr 2021 #29
Wow...so fragile n/t hibbing Apr 2021 #20
You mean the photographer? I thought so too. yardwork Apr 2021 #37
Yep! hibbing Apr 2021 #38
I hope she can successfully sue kcr Apr 2021 #23
So this wasn't a situation where she tried to "provoke" a bigot ibegurpard Apr 2021 #24
I'm thinking the vendor did it on purpose. After all that planning to be sure a LGBTQ-friendly Solly Mack Apr 2021 #26
I hope there's a way to sue this clown for breach of contract Vogon_Glory Apr 2021 #27
how very christian of him. ugh. people are just so horrible. I sure hope he gets his karma. FlyingPiggy Apr 2021 #33
No shit. Iggo Apr 2021 #35

MagickMuffin

(15,933 posts)
1. Rule #1 never pay up front for anything
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 02:01 PM
Apr 2021


you can make a deposit, but never pay the full amount, as you are more likely to never see it again.


yardwork

(61,585 posts)
8. In the world of wedding vendors, upfront payment is required.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:16 PM
Apr 2021

It's just the way it is. We had to pay in full, upfront, to secure a wedding photographer five years ago. It was that or forgo the service.

RANDYWILDMAN

(2,667 posts)
2. A-hole, you had one job and you violated the social contract to be a good human
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 02:02 PM
Apr 2021

You film and send it out with best wishes.

IF, after this you disagree pre screen your clients otherwise film and shut the front door...

DENVERPOPS

(8,802 posts)
13. Given that she announced it in advance
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:48 PM
Apr 2021

to vet the companies, I have to believe it was intentional.............

Sadly, she will not have a recorded video to look back on in future years of the glorious event.

My wife and I sit down on our anniversary and view our wedding every year, and have for 35 years.....

It is a shame that they will not be able to do this, just because of some asshole photographer's bigotry............

SWBTATTReg

(22,093 posts)
3. A shame. And she looked for a friendly business to do the photo shoot too. So did the photog.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 02:32 PM
Apr 2021

misled her in his advertisement? Perhaps grounds for a civil court lawsuit, if they wish to pursue, and also, perhaps enough folks had pictures to share w/ the happy couple too, they snapped themselves.

Some people are just plain mean and bigots too. A real shame.

SharonClark

(10,014 posts)
4. Thanks for posting this and the link which has all the details.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:01 PM
Apr 2021

What a creep who thinks "his faith", whatever that is, allows him to ruin a wedding.

Thank goodness for her pro-active aunt who worked with Tolman Media to do the best they could to remedy an awful situation...

Templeton’s aunt, Cheryl Grindle, who lives in New Mexico and was unable to attend the wedding, negotiated with Tolman Media to get the company to gather any photos and videos made by friends and family at the wedding, along with any footage the second videographer took, and create a video for the couple at no cost. Hillyard confirmed the company plans to do so.


Karma, and maybe a personal lawsuit from the brides or the media company, will get Seth Curl in the end.

Harker

(14,007 posts)
15. Age is evidently not an issue for bigotry.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:07 PM
Apr 2021

I also tend to have a subtle presumption that youth equals openness, then I remember that the first to equate age and wisdom is an old fool.

There were many youthful insurrectionists in the Capitol on January 6th.

Montauk6

(8,075 posts)
18. This is why I've never bought...
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:34 PM
Apr 2021

...that notion saying, "fear not, the bigots will die out and a more enlightened generation will replace them."

Rebl2

(13,481 posts)
22. Same here
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:48 PM
Apr 2021

Many young people in conservative areas as well as rural think like their parents/grandparents.

Withywindle

(9,988 posts)
28. People have been saying that since at least the 50s
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 05:04 PM
Apr 2021

Unfortunately a new generation of young bigots always manages to rise up to replace the old ones.

SunImp

(2,223 posts)
39. Yeah, I never bought that or people saying, "99% of people are good people"
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 11:10 PM
Apr 2021

The idea that God is watching over them or these sayings are just things people use to put themselves at ease with this shitty world we live in. If we really want to live in a better world we need to actively change it for the better by teaching our kids good beliefs and values, while making sure that the beliefs of toxic people are never passed on.

progressoid

(49,961 posts)
21. Groomed by his church/parents to be a bigot.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:44 PM
Apr 2021

I know of young people like this. A former friend who's kids seem friendly, but are rabid bigots because of their upbringing.

Hekate

(90,616 posts)
9. That was nasty, but I hope in time it becomes just another family story to roll their eyes over...
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:17 PM
Apr 2021

Let me tell you about my first wedding: the photographer was a complete no-show. I asked the guests to send me copies of the photos they were taking and I built a nice wedding album out of what they did for love.

But wait, there was more, lots more. The wedding was held in my parents’ back yard, and one week before the event we woke up to find the County was digging up the street to a depth of 3 feet. My mother never got the message, if indeed there had been notification at all. Just — 3 feet deep. The workmen promised ramps at the end of each workday, but it made proposed delivery of the rental chairs, flowers, and food a bit iffy.

The dog ran away, and when my younger sis and I finally found him he had some extremely vicious stickers stuck all over his belly that took a lot of time to cut away.

Oh yes, the back yard. My sister and I were raised with the knowledge that there were no fairy princesses here. It was nice though, with the fruit trees and flowers, and the people who knew us and wished us well. The chairs did come in time, which was a really good thing given that the groom turned pale about the time he said “I Do” and Mom was able to shove a chair under him just as his knees gave way.

The guitarist was a friend of a friend of my Dad’s .... we were told he was having some trouble with alcohol and might be a no-show. Gaah. He showed up, played some classical music, and was in every way a gentleman.

What else. Because there was definitely more, oh my god, but it’s been 50 years.

Let me tell you about my second wedding, 33 years ago. The weather was clear, it was October, and suddenly the temperature was 103 degrees. The cake started to melt. And so it went. We are still married.

For better or for worse.

So, to the two brides: I lift a virtual toast and send my love as I do to all couples on their weddings The people who love you were there.







yardwork

(61,585 posts)
11. Actually, many of the people who love them couldn't be there, because of COVID.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:20 PM
Apr 2021

That's why they contracted with a videographer, so that they could send the video to those who couldn't be there. And having the videographer walk off the job, with no notice, meant there was very little they could do to recover. The brides weren't even told that he had left until AFTER the ceremony.

Hekate

(90,616 posts)
12. Yes, it was awful. But they have a choice...
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 03:35 PM
Apr 2021

To focus on the good-hearted aunt who is going to make sure a video is made...
To decide it’s not the end of the earth and they have a whole life together henceforth...
Write a different “story” — which is what I did...

Or, do as my sister has done and still get steaming mad about what happened at her wedding 36 years ago on the rare occasions it gets brought up.

The videographer who broke his contract owes them not just a full refund but substantial damages. He needs to get really bad Yelp reviews. He is a complete asshole, and the world should know it.

 

cinematicdiversions

(1,969 posts)
25. I don't understand people who hold such grudges like this
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:55 PM
Apr 2021

"Or, do as my sister has done and still get steaming mad about what happened at her wedding 36 years ago on the rare occasions it gets brought up"

It is so self-defeating to hold a grudge like this, but we all have people in our lives that do so.

Traildogbob

(8,703 posts)
14. Hendersonville, N.C.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:00 PM
Apr 2021

The people that brought us a Nazi, Hitler fan boy, college sexual assaulting prick, Lier about acceptance into military academy, illiterate, immature, never held office, in a wheel chair from drunk college spring break GQP, Marginal Traitor Green, Bang Bang Barbie BroBart wanna be.
Surprised gay people reside there, without being ran away.

Behind the Aegis

(53,931 posts)
16. Thank you for posting.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:29 PM
Apr 2021

For all the talk about systemic bigotry, many seem to forget, not acknowledge, or understand systemic heterosexism/homophobia. The article points out the EXTRA fucking steps she took, that many of us take, in order to make we aren't fucked over because we are GLBT, and yet, we still get ripped off, demeaned, or worse. Too many say shit like, "well, if I were queer, I wouldn't want such and such doing my what-have-you.", which isn't the goddamned point! The point is we have to jump through hoops just to line shit up and even then, as per this article, it still isn't enough.

Heterosexism and homophobia are fucking real and it's about time people start to wake the fuck up and smell the rainbow!

IbogaProject

(2,800 posts)
17. Videographer is now seeing consequences
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:32 PM
Apr 2021

Here is that lazy coward's email after he got a whirlwind of online backlash and ruined his name and reputation for contract videography.

“This destroys me that I’ve ended up in a position where I am getting so many people saying so many negative things about me, my life, my career, and my beliefs. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, and I try at all costs to avoid things like this. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do that and want this to be right. I am so sorry Clarissa and Teegan for everything. I pray that we can move forward and try to find some middle ground for all of this. I don’t expect this to fix everything immediately, but I hope it’s a step in the right direction.”


"Middle Ground"? he took the money and he did zero due diligence. He agreed and signed a contract and accepted payment for this job. Crybaby is now sad he messed up. The christian thing would have been to do the job and be more careful and keep his discrimination to before he signs a contract rather than afterwards.

Skittles

(153,138 posts)
31. these folk need to put in their web pages they don't serve gay folk
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 07:07 PM
Apr 2021

that way ALL OF US non-bigots can decline their services

Tommymac

(7,263 posts)
32. He needs to have his ass sued off, his reputation ruined for life. Bigots and Racists - No quarter.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 07:29 PM
Apr 2021

I feel ZERO empathy for this bigoted racist person.

He deserves no mulligan. Maybe in 30 years he'll grow a conscience and really understand what he did and how it took something irreplaceable away from the couple, and a whole class of people too. At that point I'd re-evaluate but I'll be long for this world.



patphil

(6,158 posts)
19. Why do I get the feeling he knew this was a same sex wedding ahead of time.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:43 PM
Apr 2021

It sounds like Clarissa had made it clear to him, or someone in his business, when he was hired to do the photography at the wedding.

Iggo

(47,545 posts)
29. Yeah, he knew. He's just surprised no one's backing him up.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 05:45 PM
Apr 2021

Did he think he’d be treated like a fucking hero for shitting on these ladies’ wedding ceremony?

yardwork

(61,585 posts)
37. You mean the photographer? I thought so too.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 09:11 PM
Apr 2021

Too fragile to honor his contract, too fragile to tell his customers why he was walking off the job, and too fragile to apologize until weeks later when the backlash hurt his business. He seems like a big crybaby to me.

ibegurpard

(16,685 posts)
24. So this wasn't a situation where she tried to "provoke" a bigot
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:53 PM
Apr 2021

She made a real good faith effort to find someone who would be willing to do the job and he screwed her.
This is why this kind of shit can't just be dismissed as "find another photographer."
He needs to be nailed to the wall for this.

Solly Mack

(90,761 posts)
26. I'm thinking the vendor did it on purpose. After all that planning to be sure a LGBTQ-friendly
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:56 PM
Apr 2021

vendor was hired, the vendor walks out because he claims he didn't know?

Nah. That vendor did it on purpose.

This is so much bullshit all the way around. Bullshit of others that was heaped on the couple.

Having to work harder to find a business run by decent people - and yes, my definition of decent includes not being a bigot - and then for that vendor to simply walk away. No notice. No nothing. Walk away after taking the money. After agreeing to a service.

Disgusting behavior.

Vogon_Glory

(9,113 posts)
27. I hope there's a way to sue this clown for breach of contract
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 04:56 PM
Apr 2021

If he took their money and then started waving his Bible as an excuse for skipping out, I fail to see why he shouldn’t be taken to civil court like any other scam artist. He contracted to perform a service and then walked out, just like a sleazy roofer or appliance repairman.



What’s more, I hope his business can get put on the list for shady and dodgy outfits.

Q: How do you rate this service?

State your reason below:

This contractor took our money and then quit without performing his contracted service.

Iggo

(47,545 posts)
35. No shit.
Wed Apr 21, 2021, 08:06 PM
Apr 2021

Time after time after motherfucking time, the Christian thing to do turns out to be fucking someone over.

“Christian.” I don’t think that word means what they think it means.

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