Drive the all-new Toyota Paranoia, Official Car of the Jan. 6 Insurrection

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

Tweet text:
Ronald Brownstein
@RonBrownstein
“one has bankrolled the insurrectionists at a level far higher than the others: Toyota. The carmaker gave $55,000 to 37 of the insurrectionist lawmakers, CREW found — more than quadruple the runner-up, CIGNA (nine), and quintuple Koch Industries (seven).”

Opinion | Drive the all-new Toyota Paranoia, Official Car of the Jan. 6 Insurrection
The automaker has bankrolled the insurrectionists in Congress more than any other company.
washingtonpost.com
6:09 PM · Jul 6, 2021

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/07/06/drive-all-new-toyota-paranoia-official-car-jan-6-insurrection/

*snip*

If Toyota’s wishes to solidify its standing as the Official Car of Insurrectionists, I suggest a more comprehensive approach. Toyota should roll out a new line of vehicles, renamed and redesigned to reflect target customers. Those who attacked the Capitol on Jan. 6 should get special Three Percenter financing.

The 2022 Toyota Previous (formerly Prius). Don’t recognize Joe Biden as the legitimate president? Then transport yourself back to a time when America LED THE WORLD in covid-19 deaths and HAD THE GREATEST job losses since Herbert Hoover. Toyota’s hybrid technology will excite those who want it all: more MPGs (miles per gallon) and more MTGs (Marjorie Taylor Greenes).

The 2022 Toyota Paranoia (formerly Sequoia). Vaccines turning you magnetic? Government confiscating your guns? Mask mandates feeling like the Holocaust? Car and Driver says the Paranoia has best-in-class handling of conspiracy theories and an Adaptive Variable Suspension that allows you to roll over the most stubborn facts in quiet comfort.

The 2022 Toyota Rotunda (formerly Tundra). The Capitol Police will scatter when you drive this bad boy over the barriers and up the West Lawn, smashing right into the Capitol Dome. Its flatbed can carry 1,730 pounds of tear gas, flagpoles, gas masks, fire extinguishers and nooses to use against uncooperative police and lawmakers.

*snip*

[Under The Radar]

1. How is foreign investment into campaigns legal?

Toyota= Japan right?

[Nevilledog]

2. Guessing because they have manufacturing sites in the US?

[Blue Owl]

3. The Toyota Incell

[Hugin]

4. ...

Hahaha!

Good one!