Whatever happened to basic respect and civility?

[AngryOldDem]

I was on the first floor of my building and a very angry woman flew past me back to her office. Turns out she was yelling at the housekeeping staff, who was cleaning the restroom at that particular moment, so she couldn’t use it.

Housekeeping was doing her BOTH a service and a favor by doing one of the grossest jobs going. (I know — I’ve done it.) There were plenty other restrooms she could gone to. There was no need to heap abuse on someone just doing their job.

This pissed me off. Restrooms are often trashed due to people just not giving a damn about the messes they make, probably because the people who make the places clean and sanitary are invisible to them. Housekeeping is a hard job, and nobody is that entitled to place their value above another’s.

Just had to write this. We should definitely walk a mile in others’ shoes sometimes.

[OLDMDDEM]

1. Bravo. I agree with you. nt.

[CurtEastPoint]

2. Last week I was coming home and passed the sanitation crew a few blocks away.

I stopped, rolled down my window and they looked at me like 'uh oh.' I smiled and said, 'You all don't know how much we appreciate you making sure our neighborhood looks good.' The guy on the ground smiled widely and said, 'Yes, sir. You don't know how much that means to us.'

[AngryOldDem]

6. I make a point to thank them.

Mainly the women who empty my trash everyday. This is a job that is just as necessary and important as anybody else’s.

I don’t always see the cleaning crew, but I treat the restroom as I do my bathroom at home. I’m not into making extra, unnecessary work for people.

[Rorey]

7. Good for you!!! NT

[Tadpole Raisin]

24. Now that made me smile!

Some people can put themselves in another person’s shoes and some can never do it and worse, don’t care!

Hold a door open for someone
Say thank you for work done which is often ignored.

It comes back 10 fold!

Thank you for showing that kindness and thoughtfulness!

[lagomorph777]

3. Some people are just crappy people. Now they feel entitled to show it.

After all, the crappiest person in the world got to be president for a while.

[Paladin]

5. They'll keep doing it, until they are confronted over it.

That's the case with ruthless political parties, as well as rude people.

[radius777]

19. +1. People do things because it's comfortable to do,

make it uncomfortable for them and we'd see different results. Just like with the unvax'd/anti-mask crowd - they currently are a pampered class. We need to reverse that dynamic so they're an ostracized class. This would create pressure on them to change their stupidity.

[Rorey]

4. There are some jobs that everyone should have the opportunity to do so they know what it's like

I've cleaned my share of public restrooms. Some people are disgusting. I often wondered what their homes were like.

[Walleye]

8. "Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail". I think that's Kurt Vonnegut

[Sympthsical]

9. I don't understand what goes on in public restrooms

Maybe a square of paper falls to the floor and you don't want to touch it? Ok. I get that.

But what is the assmageddon going on in these stalls?

It always baffles me.

[AngryOldDem]

13. Simple -- it's someone else's mess to clean up.

There have been times that I have been disgusted and embarrassed by what I’ve seen. No excuse for it. Total disrepect.

[Raine]

43. I've been in rest rooms where people have

deliberately left the water running in the sink after plugging up the drain! 😡 One time I found where someone had done that in every rest room (well the women's, I didn't go into the men's) on that floor. I turned off the water in each one. I don't want buildings to close rest rooms to the public because some people can't behave!

[dumbcat]

10. My 5 year old grandson always waves to the trash pickup crew

and they will often stop and talk with him. When we do our walks around the neighborhood he will always want to talk to the workers that may be working on cleaning the street or repairing the sidewalk. He'll ask them what they are doing and they seem to be happy to take a break and tell him. He even helped them load up some brush after the winter freeze into a trailer. Two of the workers were so impressed with his help that they each gave him $5.00! He was psyched that he had actually earned money! He still has those two 5 dollar bills and says he is saving them "to buy a house."

I have a lot more appreciation for the city workers that keep my water and electric working and the toilets' flushing. Also the trash and recycle collectors and city park landscapers. I need/use more of their services than I do the police and fire folks who normally get all the glory.

[tavernier]

11. No worries.

Karma is waiting just around the corner for the perfect moment.

[CrackityJones75]

12. People are stressed beyong what they can handle.

Our whole system and way of life has evolved into a state where our stress levels are so high we cannot cope and we cannot get along anymore.


We need massive change in this country.

[OldBaldy1701E]

35. Hear Hear! (n/t)

[UTUSN]

14. Ever see a mob flame fest - yes, "even" here?

[Ms. Toad]

15. Let me give you another perspective.

My daughter has ulcerative coliis. fortunately it is in remission - but when it is most active she has very little warning (and time) to get to the bathroom before she almost literally explodes. Many people with IBD keep very close track of where the nearest bathroom is at all times - including sometimes keeping elaborate maps of public spaces - including things like which stores permit both customers or non-customers to use the bathroom.

So when she is not in remission - and makes it to the bathroom just in the nick of time, finds the bathroom closed for cleaning - it isn't a simple matter to be able to hold it in and go to another bathroom. She needs to use that bathroom. NOW. And, while it would be far better to ask politely - she doesn't always have that luxury - what she needs immediately is an open stall.

I don't know if that was this woman's problem - but I do know the desperate "Get out of my way , now, so I can use the bathroom," of an IBDer can easily sound like berating.

[LittleGirl]

25. Been there, done that.

I had food allergies that did this to me so I know the trauma well. It stopped when I eliminated that food. Hugs to her.

[Ms. Toad]

27. That's one key to keeping her in remission.

We discovered when she kept breaking out of remission that she was allergic to poultry - and chicken was a staple in her diet.

Now - about $200,000 of mediction a year keep her in remission

[LittleGirl]

34. Holy smokes! That's outrageous, eom

[Ms. Toad]

44. Yup.

That's why all of the threats to the ACA terrify me.

She had Entyvio infusions every 7-8 weeks. The mediction is about $8,000 per dose. The rest is to pay someone to infuse it & make sure the medication doesn't kill her. (It's typically has no side effects, but most home infusion folks won't take the risk - which puts her in a facility, which costs more.) The Cleveland Clinic billed $20,000 per infusion. It was written down by insurance.

She has a seocnd disease, as well, that doesn't require such regular medications - but requires costly cancer screening twice a year.

But, as you might imagine, my daughter hits the out-of-pocket max the first month of every new plan year. So we don't pay too much attention to the total - until someone tries to kill the ACA again, and I have to trot out her billed medical expenses per year to explain why the ACA (or something stronger) is a matter of life or death for chroniclly ill individuals.

[LittleGirl]

46. Exactly!

I have a few auto immune diseases to deal with but my medical is no where near that expensive. It’s a god damn shame too, sorry for my words.

Healthcare is a right, not a luxury. Every human has a pre-existing condition since they are born with DNA they didn’t ask for. My genetics did me no favors and I shouldn’t be charged so much that I have to go bankrupt. F*ck that, that’s criminal to profit off of sick people.

My brother went to Cleveland clinic before he died in 2019. While in his house immediately afterwards, he received a Medicaid rejection notice about his visit to Cleveland clinic 6 weeks earlier. Seeing his cardiac doctors there wasn’t covered even though his employer insurance used to cover it because of his heart failure condition. He lost his employer based healthcare exactly 6 months before he died when they eliminated his job. He had worked for Bayer for 35 years. When they sold his division, he lost his lifetime healthcare promise 2 years prior.

He had 9 stints in his heart that the Cleveland clinic put in before he passed at 57.

[AngryOldDem]

28. I have no idea.

But if she had that, she most likely would have gone in the direction of the other restrooms. I git the impression she was just inconvenienced.

I had a brother-in-law with ulcerative colitis. Thankfully it’s also in remission, but he would have terrible bouts of it.

And by the way, it’s a law where I live that stores, etc., have to allow people with such medical conditions to use their restrooms, with the understanding that they are clean when they leave. (For most people, that isn’t an issue.)

[Ms. Toad]

36. Actually - the best option is to just demand to use it now -

with a very clear explanation of what will happen if she had to divert to another bathroom. (Literally poop running down her leg, making a god-awful mess behind her on the way to the next nearest bathroom.)

My point is that sometimes - especially with things that might have a medical aspect to them - that things are not necessarily what they seem.

As for the laws - having them, and having them work, are two very different things. You have to find the right staff person to ask (and you need to ask because many are hidden in staff-only areas). The right staff person is key - since many front line workers just recite canned response - no bathrooms for public use. By the time you prove you are entitled to use it, it is often too late. Hence the need for elaborate maps to plot your day so you are always near a no-questions-asked bathroom.

[murielm99]

42. I had a bladder infection

that was making it impossible to get to far-away bathrooms. When I ran into a bathroom that was closed for cleaning, I explained myself and went on in. The cleaning crew was very sympathetic. I thanked them and it was just fine.

Being nice can work.

[Ms. Toad]

45. It obviously depends on (1) the urgency of the problem

and (2) the initial response of the cleaning staff.

I've had bladder infections - they would have made it painful to get to the next bathroom, but I would not have urinated all over myself.

The same is not true for many with IBD, which I know from experience with my daughter. My daughter has, on more than one occasion, pooped all over herself in public. Stores/cleaning people/etc. are are not alwasy accommodating, since most aren't famillar with the kind of urgency that sometimes accompanies IBE>

And when you don't make it and leave a trail of liquid bloody poop -the social impact is significant.

Of course, in an ideal world, she would ask politely and be granted permission. The need to be firm comes from too many close calls and accidents when the response is, "sorry, go find another bathroom.

[Retired Engineer Bob]

16. I wonder about the affect of social media

Folks get used to the idea of spouting off without consequence. Back in the day they would face the possibility of getting one in the kisser.

[leftyladyfrommo]

17. It's gone with the wind.

Midwesterners are pretty polite. I haven't seen any people being awful.

[bluecollar2]

18. Newton Gingrich primarily

But Atwater shares responsibility...

[SoCalDavidS]

20. Probably In The Wrong Country For That

This is America.

[demigoddess]

21. If you like it clean when you go in, leave it clean when you go out.

Some people just don't get it. I love the cleaning people because I like it clean and available.

[DavidDvorkin]

22. They were always rare.

[Harker]

23. Kindness comes easily for some and not at all for others.

It does seem to be dwindling.

I've tried walking a mile in my wife's shoes, by the way, but I couldn't manage more than a few steps.

[DemUnleashed]

26. Despicable!

I am with the OP and everyone else on here...I absolutely hate rude and unkind behavior! I hope the OP went up to the housekeeping staff after that tirade and apologized on that rude woman's behalf!

[Joinfortmill]

29. I hear you.

[Marcuse]

30. Basic respect and civility.

[Wounded Bear]

31. There has probably never been enough of that, but the internet has made it worse...

[Sucha NastyWoman]

32. I was thinking about this just this morning

You know that whoever the Republican nominee is in 2024, they will be rude and disrespectful to people that don’t think like they do. Because if they weren’t like that, they could never win the primary.

[elleng]

33. Basic respect and civility seem to have disappeared.

[secondwind]

37. Well said.

[RobertDevereaux]

38. Kander and Ebb answer that question with this lament...

[RobertDevereaux]

39. And from the film...

[NellieStarbuck]

40. Some people are just trash that won't burn.

[calimary]

41. God Bless that housekeeping staff.

God Bless ALL housekeeping staffers.

That's a hard job, and at times a disgusting job (I know. I STILL do it in our house). That's why many smart compassionate travelers leave a nice little tip in the hotel room for the maid, when they check out.

[Woodwizard]

47. My wife worked housekeeping for a while.

It was at a WMCA camp they worked their butts off for not much money and were treated as invisible, the kids used to love to plug up the toilets or crap in the urinals. People are slobs.