Every. Single. Woman.

[Soph0571]

And every single woman, living in a world of male violence, is gas lighted by the patriarchy to shoulder the blame for their victimhood.
Every. Single. Time.

[NH Ethylene]

1. I am so greatful to the MeToo Movement for bringing this out in the open.

Especially how just about every woman you know has been sexually assaulted in some way in her lifetime - at least once. It was so liberating to publically concede that we all share this experience.

[Scrivener7]

2. Back in the days of the DU gender wars, a woman posted that

women need to assume every unknown man they meet is a potential rapist, particularly when she is in a dark or unfamiliar environment.

Of course this is true, but the resident men's rights warriors of the time were outraged by the statement. Their outrage went on for weeks, the quote was often brought back up and set it off again, and they were very, very wronged.

Very few of those guys remain on DU, but I have seen posts from 2 of the holdouts in the past 2 years to the effect of, "If you don't know them, you can't trust them. Assume they could give you Covid and act accordingly."

They get the concept fine when it comes to their own well-being, but somehow it was inconceivable when applied to women's well-being.

[DURHAM D]

3. This

[IronLionZion]

4. A man's fear of being thought of as a rapist

will never be as bad as a woman's fear of being raped.

People don't want to think of themselves as dangerous threats to anyone. Perception can influence behavior in many ways.

[NullTuples]

10. Men's fear of being thought a racist is often b/c they know they haven't spoken out nearly enough

...if at all when other men "joke" about it, make comments and otherwise build a misogynistic culture that says rape is a semi-acceptable display of power over women.

[calimary]

37. That was one reason to have to see the movie "Deliverance."

EVERY young man should see that movie. And young women, too. It’s a necessary movie. Period.

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. I remember that.

I remember having to walk away from my computer before I lost my shit.

[niyad]

13. I well remember those days. It was wonder that I was not banned.

[MineralMan]

15. I remember that.

I also remember writing that, while I know I'm not a danger to any woman, how is a woman I don't know supposed to know that?

In one of those threads, I described a situation I have encountered more than once. I'm walking to my car in a parking lot at night. I see that a woman is also heading for her car. My automatic response is to move into a well-lighted place and say, loudly enough for her to hear me, "I'll just wait here and watch to make sure you get safely to your car."

That always gets a gesture of acknowledgement from the other person, and I do just what I said I would do.

I learned that from my father.

[erronis]

19. That's a gread idea, MM. Move away and stand guard for other's safety. nt

[calimary]

30. What a WONDERFUL gesture!

Thank you sincerely, MM!

[MineralMan]

32. I thank my dad for teaching me about reality.

I remember him doing that when I was about 12. I asked him about it, and he explained it to me. Made sense, so I adopted his practice. A wise man. I miss him. He died this January at 96.

[BobTheSubgenius]

40. That is a fantastic idea!

[soldierant]

44. You were raised right.

[ShazzieB]

23. DU gender wars? 😱

Holy cow. This is the first I've heard of this. Not sure what time frame you're talking about, but I'm glad I didn't stumble on something like that when I was very new at DU. There's a good chance I'd have noped right out of here, never to return. No thank you very much.

[Scrivener7]

24. Oh, yeah. But from your profile, you did not join up much later than I did. I think you were here

for them.

[soldierant]

46. I actually joined before you did -

posted a few comments and then didn't come back for years. When I did come back, I realized I hadn't even posted enough comments to be allowed to send PM. So I honestly don't remember. And that's probably a good thing.

[Solly Mack]

26. I remember.

[Scrivener7]

28. Hey, how are you doing?

[Solly Mack]

39. I'm OK. Had a check-up/follow-up and everything was looking good the doc said.

Incision site all healed and no more bruising. They did an EKG and said it was very good. BP and weight all good. I go back in two months.

Sticking firmly to a heart health diet and shaking my fanny more.

Being stupid is still a concern, though.

[BobTheSubgenius]

42. I think we've reached a point when a large amount of education and knowledge is considered to be...

... useless weight on the drag strip, so to speak.

[Solly Mack]

47. I'll have to buck that trend then.

[BobTheSubgenius]

51. Yes. Please.

It reminds me of a short story by Vonnegut. I can't remember the name of it, but in it, everyone with a good facility with any human attribute was given a handicap. If you had good vision, you had to wear glasses that made the world blurry, for example.

[Scrivener7]

43. So glad to hear it. Good to see your name.

[Solly Mack]

48. Thanks!

[smirkymonkey]

27. I remember those days.

It was infuriating to me why those men could not understand the fear we had. It was basically Schroedinger's rapist. You just never know and it is always wise to err on the side of caution.

I have freaked out at times, perhaps needlessly, but maybe not. I did not want to stick around to find out.

I would rather hurt someone's feelings than become a statistic.

[dlk]

5. It doesn't even cross most men's minds how different the world is for women

How every day, we must be alert and take safety measures to protect ourselves. It’s not a part of their reality and for too many men, unfortunately, they like things this way.

[Betty88]

6. "men are afraid women will mock them, women are afraid men will kill them"

Or words to that effect from a book given to me years ago. I think the title was The gift of Fear. Amazing powerful read.

[bluewater]

7. Sadly so true.

[Akacia]

8. Yes, I read this book and that quote has

stuck with me over the years.

[Karma13612]

49. So so true....eom

[Irish_Dem]

17. Males cannot comprehend what it is like to be female.

And how our day to day life differs from theirs in terms of safety and fear.

We instinctively are alert and cautious after dark when out by ourselves.

Avoid walking near groups of men, etc.

[SheltieLover]

11. Absolutely!

Angela Rose was a guest speaker at my university. She is incredible & fights these dynamics everyday!

Here is a blurb about her.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Rose

[niyad]

12. and the WAR ON WOMEN continues apace. Would you consider cross-posting this in

Women's Rights And Issues? Thanks in advance.

I have done every single one of those things. Had a whistle and a mace canister on the key rings that I held in my hand. Hypervigilant after a frightening encounter in Detroit. Fortunately, I was not injured, although I was outraged at the attitude of the police when I reported it.


EVERY. SINGLE, WOMAN.

[Soph0571]

29. Cross posting now love

[lostnfound]

14. Especially at the age of 12. Or 16.

At the age of 12, you walk quickly past the creepy guy’s house who has been known to flash little girls in the neighborhood.
At 13 you race away from the neighborhood boy who approaches you with a knife.
At 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, you take the longer route to avoid the darker block or the shady trees, or walk in the middle so you can run if some man approaches you.
At 16 you kick yourself for not leaving the mall before dark, as you grasp your keys tightly get in quickly, and lock the door.
At 17 you make the fake phone call hoping the strange guy nearby won’t want to attack when you can describe him, or when your scream will be heard.
At 19 when your car is blown off a highway in Montgomery Alabama after midnight and two strange men stop to help you, you rejoice because they truly are there to help, not gang rape you and leave your body on the side of the road.

Yeah, all of that.
But some of your friends are not so lucky.

[Jon King]

16. As a father of daughters, you notice the creeps at an early age.

With my one daughter, her and I took a train to visit a sick relative when she was 7 months old. The creepy railroad conductor who helped us off the train said to me "she is beautiful, bring her back when she is 18.". I physically smashed him up against the side of the train as he stammered "sorry, just kidding", blabbering like a fool. Also told the supervisor inside the station.

Its been pretty constant since they were little ones, the creepy stares at the grocery store or county fair. One boy probably around age 13 pushed up against my 10 year old from behind while we were waiting in line at an amusement park, making thrusting motions. When I turned around enraged he and his 2 friends scampered under the bars of the aisles and ran away into the park.

So we have trained them in martial arts, how to use mace, and given them all the common sense safety tips we can.

I can not imagine the fear of being a women, but can relate the fear for my daughters.

[Irish_Dem]

18. My daughter was a third degree blackbelt at age 12. The boys in high school were quite polite to her

The word was out about her black belt and how she could smash bricks with her feet.

Sad that is what it takes.

[calimary]

31. My daughter is a second-degree black belt.

And she is FIERCE.

Color me deeply proud!

[Irish_Dem]

33. I know, I feel the same way.

Once my daughter went to a big competition and beat the top ranked guy, an older boy.
When my daughter beat him he cried like a baby. He was really mad that a girl beat him.

She just went in and took care of business and he didn't know what hit him.

BTW she is 4ft 10 inches and weighs 105 lbs.

[calimary]

36. Well, so be it!

Our daughter is a kick-ass, no-nonsense, brainy, compassionate, cautious but confident young woman. But she doesn’t suffer fools - at all! Never has! It was only later when she realized her little brother no longer fit in the fools category. Now they’re very close friends. But they’re also full-on independent, creative, self-actualized adults and they know all about “look before you leap.”

Thank God!

And God Bless YOUR daughter! Sounds like she, too, will be her own master.

[Irish_Dem]

38. Yes sounds familiar.

I think marital arts helped define them as confident, practical young women.
My daughter is smart and compassionate too. But doesn't put up with much nonsense.

All the traits you describe.

Thank God is right.

[OrangeJoe]

25. Not everywhere has this problem

Our daughter taught in Japan for 2 years. She said one of the things she really enjoyed was being able to go to an izakaya with her co-workers on Friday night, have a few drinks and then walk home alone at midnight. The fact that she is 5'10" probably helps a bit, but she only had one incident of a creepy older man slowly following her in his car and cat calling. Unlike America where a woman would probably run away in this situation she walked up to his car, cursed him out in Japanese and then spit in his face. Needless to say he hightailed it out of there and probably swore off gaijin women forever.

There is some groping on the trains in Japan and clowns like to do "up-skirts" photos, but then Japan mandated that all phones had to make the shutter clicking sound so that cut down on it. But violent stranger sexual assaults, as indeed violence of any kind, are very rare.

[NNadir]

20. This is certainly true of my wife; many times over. n/t.

[Percy]

21. Yes to every one.

Once, I couldn't run and had to turn and face him on a dark street. I was 20 and scared to death. I happened to have a piece of lumber in my hand and held it like I was going to use it, and I waited. He reached me and we stood staring at each other in silence for about 10 seconds. I was ready to fight and he knew it. The words "Get lost!" somehow came out of my mouth, and he turned and left.

I walked that last block home shaking like a leaf. I didn't sleep that night. And I'll never forget the bastards face.

[FakeNoose]

22. Every woman has avoided going out alone at night

Every woman has made excuses for not going to certain bars or nightspots. Not because she doesn't trust her friends ... no!

It's because she can't be too trusting towards people that she's never met.

[Skittles]

34. held her keys as a potential weapon

yup, many times

[niyad]

35. As was mentioned by several here, and I will go further. EVERY female, from the earliest

possible age, should be in martial arts. The culture is not changing, men are not changing, laws are not changing. I have been saying for many years that every single female has to be taught how to defend herself, to be able to leave a would-be attacker laying in the dust. Maybe, just maybe, until patriarchy is eliminated, men need to be afraid that any woman they think to attack could disable them, NOT be easy prey.

[Kath2]

45. Agree 100%.

[MetalMama]

41. When I was younger

I always held my keys as a weapon. I had a lot of stuff on the keychains so, it would have been a good weapon.

However, not all violence comes from strangers. My 2 sexual assaults and sexual harassment came from men I thought I knew.

My daughter has learned from my experiences and is very cautious and very aware of her surroundings.

[YoshidaYui]

50. wow

right???