How do you dress your kid as a Satanic Socialist for Halloween?

[packman]

Notice on a screen door----

[marble falls]

1. Bernie Sanders with horns.

[berniesandersmittens]

6. .

[Nevilledog]

40. Close

[luv2fly]

2. Begging for an egging n/t

[Jerry2144]

5. Or

Paper sacks of used Alpo, doused in lighter fluid, and ignited

[marble falls]

12. You seem to have that down in fine detail, hmmmmmm .....

[Walleye]

3. Jesus is giving away candy?

[Champp]

8. Yah, but you have to SAVE it

until death do you part.

[Walleye]

9. Well candy does have a long shelf life

[blueinredohio]

4. If I find Jesus will he give me candy?

[lagomorph777]

22. Yes, and offer you a ride to school.

[70sEraVet]

7. Their version of Jesus would be yelling at kids to get off his lawn!

[packman]

10. You know what I'm waiting for - Evangelist (Jim Bakker type) selling holy candy

Which would make the whole thing O.K. to them


Holy Molly Pop Tarts

Holly Roller Tootsie Rolls

Heaven's Delight Chocolate Mints

The Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost Gum

Bible bon-bons

[jmbar2]

11. Blood of the Lamb gummies

[Buckeye_Democrat]

13. Have a bloody baby-doll that drops from...

... a rope that looks like an umbilical cord, with the girl saying she's glad it's aborted now.

Then all of the kids suck on the doll, saying they're drinking it's blood before it gets cold.



Okay, that joke would be going too far with those kooks! And they might decide to shoot any trick-or-treaters who tried to troll them to that extent.

[Zambero]

14. So get to work, you lazy freeloading pre-schoolers!

And since Satanic Santa is known to be an avowed lefty do-gooder, prepare to pay up for your Christmas gifts as well! Meanwhile, let's all team up to fight this years' Satanic Socialist war on Christmas, which includes not getting that merchandi$e to the harbor on time!

[malaise]

15. What you have to understand is that the grifters want a cut of the Halloween costume

money - this is a start up business - you have to buy their costumes

[underpants]

19. You can say that again

[Solly Mack]

17. They seem like nice neighbors.

[underpants]

18. Yeah you little grubbing entitled 8 year old

Go find some bobbins you can lose a finger on.

[yonder]

20. And lo, with 5 loaves and 2 fishes, the multitudes were fed.

That must have been the lazy, entitled, freeloading multitudes.

5000 of them according to that book they claim to follow.

[Johnny2X2X]

21. Translated to teenager

Translated, this means, "Egg this house tonight!"

[Buckeye_Democrat]

23. Yeah, they're basically ASKING for it.

My parents had a neighbor whose house was regularly egged and TP'd. They didn't understand it, but I did.

The guy ran out of his house and yelled at kids if they stepped on his grass, even accidentally as they were mostly walking on the sidewalk.

He was a retired military officer, and such a damn weirdo. When I saw "American Beauty" years later, the Frank Fitts character reminded me so much of him. There was even a physical resemblance.


I never did that sort of thing to his house, but I was aware of several kids in the neighborhood who hated him.

[sarisataka]

24. Try this

[Beastly Boy]

25. Last sentence. It's a cry for help.

They clearly lost Jesus, and they are begging, in their peculiar anti-Christian way, all the satanic socialists and lazy entitled freeloading toddlers to find Jesus for them.

I say they are lost beyond redemption. If they can't find it in their vindictive fucking hearts to give some cheap fucking candy to some well-meaning kids once a year, no one can help them find Jesus.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

26. I'm sure they think that THEY are the true Christians.

They probably have delusions about them being the victims too, like they might be killed in some genocidal plan by "Godless liberals" or whatever.

Yet they'd likely try to do the same to their "enemies", in reality.

It can be a slippery slope when someone places more trust in myths and fantasy over rational and evidence-based thought. At least many such people have enough doubt to not act on their overactive imaginations.

[luvs2sing]

27. An army of small..

parka-wearing, bemittened Bernies marching up this idiot’s sidewalk.

I can dream, can’t I?

[andym]

28. Would be great to have a kid dressed as Jesus to come to their door for Halloween

and give them gifts. Wonder how they would react.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

29. And here's a good bag for the gifts.

[kairos12]

30. Gotta get one of those.

[Buns_of_Fire]

31. Looks like a fun family to be around.

I can tell they're the life of the party. Maybe someone should invite them to their next orgy.

[Leith]

41. Of course they are!

They're patrotic Chri$tians, after all.

[Hekate]

42. You noticed that, too. LOL

[lagomorph777]

32. Lenin with horns?

[Buckeye_Democrat]

33. Ah, finally a pic of the Lenin statue that...

... belongs to Rupert Murdoch.



Rupert Murdoch Kept a Bust of Lenin in His Oxford Dorm Room
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2011/11/rupert-murdoch-kept-bust-lenin-oxford-dorm-room/335908/

[Kid Berwyn]

34. I speak Turtle.

“My name is Moscow Mitch and I help socialist mafiya oligarchs launder money.”

[lindysalsagal]

35. This should do it:

(sarcasm) ?v=1612906801

[Norbert]

36. Even in this job market I'm not sure an 8 year old will find work

[lagomorph777]

37. Sure - there are lots of them picking lettuce.

[roamer65]

38. If I were a kid, I would costume up as a coronavirus.

I don’t like candy that much so it would have been fun, especially knocking on this door.

[Initech]

39. Wow, I bet those people are fun at parties!

[quaker bill]

43. i did not know that Jesus

gives away candy on Halloween or any other day.

[MustLoveBeagles]

44. What assholes

If you don't want trick or treaters keep your porch light off.