As things spiral

[cilla4progress]

what strategies are people finding that are keeping them sane?

I'm kind of a loner but also a little bit lonely. Our only daughter lives a 10 hour drive away. We are close with her emotionally.

I am concerned about the future. I don't know where to get inspiration.

[SheltieLover]

1. Yale is offering free "Science of Well Being" course

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=09-ScienceofWellBeing-US&utm_content=09-ScienceofWellBeing-US&campaignid=9728548210&adgroupid=99699672436&device=m&keyword=science%20of%20well-being%20laurie%20santos&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=428321686708&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=CjwKCAjwq9mLBhB2EiwAuYdMtZTnFY2XHfdeuyEBvuF1eAEUXWI8IeFSyXDoBEvNny03dYiPOQimkRoCu9AQAvD_BwE

It rruly is free & those who have tried it have said it's been quite helpful.

1st videos are available immediately.

Please know someone is always here to chat with you.

[canetoad]

5. Does it involve

Red wine? Some publications are going a bit revisionist on it lately.

[SheltieLover]

13. Nooooo

[cilla4progress]

11. I listen to her podcast.

Thanks!

[SheltieLover]

14. Yw!

She is fabulous.

How about create a gratitude journal?

Here is one site that gives ideas on how to do this:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal

[cilla4progress]

18. Thanks so much for this, SheltieLover!

I had been listening to her recent pods, but went all the way back to her initial one and got an idea of the overall context.

I signed up for her online class but already played hooky! It's funny....it seemed to say it started the day I signed up (10/25), and then the following day...which I did not "attend." Perhaps it is just timed to being current?

Anyway...after listening to Ep. 1 on my walk just now, I am going to buckle down and do the first class/es. Guess it's a couple hours of videos?

Thanks so much. I forwarded the info to the rest of my little nuclear family.

[SheltieLover]

19. Yw!

Not sure how it works. Please let us know whaf you think of the course?

Another aspect for you to consider is self-compassion. Yup, this is another hot topic in psych.

https://self-compassion.org/

[cilla4progress]

21. Thanks!

My (current) self-diagnosed neurosis is from the "state of things." I feel like humanity is going down the tubes. I'm seeing such a degradation of character!

Also the climate crisis: I see no turning back.

[SheltieLover]

25. Is there anything you can do to turn these things around? Even in small ways?

Plant a tree? Create a pollinator garden?

Demonstrate compassion in action by volunteering in some capacity, even remotely so you remain safe?

Seemingly small efforts can yield big results in this regard!

Although we cannot control these deeply disturbing trends, we can make a difference, even if a small one.

Think butterfly effect. 👍

[lagomorph777]

40. Pollinator Garden

I have a bunch of mums; found recently 4 species of bees all loving them at the same time!!

Also discovered this year that pineapple sage grows huge and puts out lots of little flute-shaped flowers. The hummingbirds and bees went crazy for it. Besides, it smells yummy (like pineapple).

[SheltieLover]

41. Fabulous!

[cilla4progress]

24. Here's an online course I'm planning to take

with Tich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist teacher and author. I've read some of his books and his approach resonates with me

[SheltieLover]

26. Do you have a link to the course?

I live his work!

I must say, Buddhists are among the happiest folks I've ever known. 😉

I'd love to hear more about the course!

[cilla4progress]

32. So sorry -forgot the link - here you go!

https://www.soundstrue.com/products/body-and-mind-are-one-1?_ga=2.105525188.698961243.1635481044-1298224437.1635481044

My bad!!

[SheltieLover]

36. Ty!

I'll check into it.

[Captain Zero]

27. I'm depressed you didn't leave a link.

[cilla4progress]

33. I messed up - sorry - here!

https://www.soundstrue.com/products/body-and-mind-are-one-1?_ga=2.105525188.698961243.1635481044-1298224437.1635481044

[PurgedVoter]

2. I write

I hope that someday my writing will entertain and inspire others. I think we need to at least try to plan a future for others in order to remain mentally healthy. My definition of mental health may be different from a lot of other definitions. I think that mankind is at it's best when trying to uplift and help others. As we get further from that I think we become less and less mentally healthy.

I have no good sage advice apart from stay safe and follow your compassion and creativity. Right now we are in the middle of a plane crash scenario, so put the mask on yourself first, but if you can without risking yourself or others, do what you can or plan for some way to do what you can for others.

That and look up capybaras. When in doubt look up capybaras.

[cilla4progress]

22. I just encountered one (capybara)

online.

Are they as sweet as they look? Off to research!!

[cilla4progress]

23. Omigosh -

giant rodents??!!

[LuvLoogie]

3. If I can manage to get up and make coffee,

then the day is not a complete waste. Sometimes that's all I can do. Hang in there until I feel better.

Turn to your family. Take that ten hour drive just because. Walk. Breathe.

[canetoad]

4. I've never really enjoyed travelling

Packing, waiting, getting-there-on-time, queues, parking, - all combine to make it a fraught and anxiety inducing activity.

Instead, I've set out to be, if not expert, extremely knowledgeable about my own local environment. The history, geology, flora and fauna, the landscape and how it was formed. Every day there is something new - if you look for it.

[brer cat]

6. Good advice, canetoad.

I need to follow it as well.

[canetoad]

7. Don't hold back bc

Start explorin'.

[SheltieLover]

28. Great advice!

I love to walk or sit outside in the early morning & watch the squirrels & birds in their morning activities.

Each morning is like a spring season anew as everything awakens again.

[canetoad]

38. I even found $10

Floating in a rock pool coupla weeks ago!

[SheltieLover]

39. Sweet!

[Corgigal]

8. I listen to music,

and sometimes I watch younger people react to a song that mattered to me when I was young. I saw this today. It made me smile. I like to believe they are genuine.

[Sympthsical]

9. Take a break from politics

Seriously. 90% of what people read everyday on the Internet is not particularly useful, it's often revised, and in less than a month, you'll forget you read most of it to begin with.

I'm doing research for a social psychology final and was skimming through a database looking at stories from July. I had honestly forgotten most of them. Almost none of them are even slightly relevant to my life three months later.

The Internet is not a healthy place for human psychology. It is designed to get your attention, designed to create anxiety so you will click more, designed to make sure you need to know everything it's presenting to you, and designed to make sure you fear, so you are always scanning for new information regarding future threats.

It is possible to follow general politics without devoting vast swaths of time to it. Or even news in general. Look at this Alec Baldwin thing. No one knows exactly what happened there yet except the people involved. Probably the police. And yet scores of articles about it (most of them wrong), and tons of threads (most of them useless supposition, speculation, and a little conspiracy theory for good measure). There is zero harm in waiting a week to read anything about it. Zero. And in a week, you'll be met with a much clearer, more accurate picture of what happened.

But it's the media and the Internet, so we just gotta talk about this straight into the depths of the earth. And hey, I'm susceptible, too. Once I realize I'm getting too involved and reacting instinctively instead of thoughtfully, I step back. I'll walk off in mid-conversation.

You could not read news and politics for a week, come back, and you will have lost almost nothing for it.

Mental health breaks are a thing. Unplugging is a thing.

Next time the temptation is to load up social media or news sites or what have you, grab a book you've been meaning to read, or a movie that's been on your list for ages. The things you never get around to, because, "I never have the time." I have a home office I use for all things Internet, work, and school. Sometimes, I just get tired and walk out of it. I leave my phone on my desk. Off to another room to read or watch a movie without interruption, or do some little project I've been meaning to get around to.

I feel so, so much better for it. Every time. And I've missed nothing. Everything on the Internet will still be there. And I'll often realize I completely missed commenting on some thing and think, "I am so glad was not around when people were discussing that. What a waste of time."

[cilla4progress]

10. Fabulous advice, thank you.

I know it, but it's still a compulsion for me.

How did you break the addiction to "news," the internet as you say?

How did you start?

Also...it's not just politics, it's climate, social breakdown - all of it.

I appreciate the many helpful ideas here.

[Sympthsical]

12. Use the web with intention

I do this via compartmentalization through separate browser windows. Since I do most of my work and school from home, I found over time it's the only way I could police my attention span.

Depending what I'm doing, I'll have 2-4 browser windows open - not tabs, but entirely separate windows.

School window is only assignments, related research, etc. So when I'm doing homework and look up, I don't see that YouTube video in a tab next to it and think, "You know, I can spare ten minutes to watch that video I wanted to earlier . . ." I'm a procrastinator at heart, so it's just begging for it.

Work window. Spreadsheets, e-mail, work portal, etc. Only that. If I have work to do, I can only see work.

The last two windows I have are Current Events and Dumb. Current events are news sites, opinion pieces, places like DU, etc. Mostly just politics, news, and things related. The Dumb tab is Reddit, YouTube stuff, articles about hobbies and things. TV, movies, gaming, etc. So when I'm doing things that are supposed to help me unwind, I don't have the anxiety of the Current Events stuff existing smack next to it. The whole point of the Dumb is to forget about the other stuff for awhile.

Turn off notifications.

This is the biggest one when I say use with intention. Everything is begging for your attention. The object of the exercise is to get you to click. If you turn off all but the vital notifications (text, phone calls, banking, etc), you'll be less inclined to click. I do not ever need to know immediately when something appears on social media. Make sure you are looking at something because you mean to be looking at it - not because it managed to snag you when your eyes or ears strayed in that direction.

If there's a massive, major world-changing something going on, you will find out about it.

About a year ago, I turned off all the notifications on my phone for nearly every app I use outside of the vital stuff. It is amazing how little I actually look at my phone now outside of a work or school context. I still use it for things, but I am not being constantly alerted to its presence. I can have a meal and not have a vibration making me anxious I'm missing something.

FOMO - fear of missing out - is a major source of online anxiety for people. They've done studies on it. It's a serious problem with young people in particular. If you have no idea something's happening, you'll feel less an immediate need to be included in it.

Hopefully there's some nugget in there you'll find useful.

[SheltieLover]

29. Cut the cable cord.

I did, many years ago. No TV service at all here. I realized I had the darned thing on most of the time, which was just a constant, annoying distraction to life.

You can find just about anything you want to watch on the internet. 👍

[Oneironaut]

31. Exactly this. CNN and MSNBC do the same things too.

They try to make you mad and upset so that you watch more, which means more advertising $$$. It’s not mentally healthy. There’s a whole life outside rather than the doom-and-gloom political vortex.

[John Ludi]

16. Watching a lot of

videos on astronomy and paleontology to give me a sense of perspective vis a vis our historical tiny blip on the radar of the planet's history, meditating 30 or so minutes a day, accepting my own physical mortality (while researching possible non-physical aspects of such), not engaging in pointless arguments online or off, embracing solitude as a respite from the madness of crowds, cats. Wine once in a while.

[cilla4progress]

17. Excellent

Thanks

[Mr.Bill]

20. I'm 68 years old, so I fall back on

I lived through Nixon, Reagan and Trump. And as disgusting as they were, the fact is my day to day life didn't really change that much. I still ate the same food, drove the car I wanted to drive, lived where I wanted to live, listened to the same music, etc. I know there is another side to all that, but those things are what I think of when I get too disturbed about current events.

It's all relative, anyway. What's going on now has nowhere near the personal impact of being 18 years old and knowing that my government was likely going to force me to fight and/or die in a meaningless unwinnable war on the other side of the planet. That consumed my life for several years. And they had the nerve to make it a lottery like it was a fucking game show of some sort.

Compare that to what Biden just did in Afghanistan. I've been waiting for a politician to do something like that my whole life.

[Brainfodder]

30. Zombie and nazi first person shooter video games?

[BannonsLiver]

34. I get up every morning and get on with it.

[RobinA]

35. I Remind Myself

that I'm 63 years old and the descent should be slow enough that I'll be dead before it gets into hard core Orwellian territory. I'm not kidding. That's all I've got.

[cilla4progress]

47. But our kids (if we have them) - and their kids (if they have them)

and future generations! And other species and sentient beings! I fear and feel for them ALL!

Better Orwellian than Hitlerian??? Not kidding either.

I hear you, Robin!

[0rganism]

37. feed the birds

I get a spot of inspiration from seeing the little dudes flying around getting food. Maybe set up a birdbath, if you have the space.

[cilla4progress]

45. We have / had fed the birds in the past

but starting last year were advised against it by experts because of some virus affecting and killing large numbers of song birds!

Just one more bummer...

[0rganism]

49. wow, that's rough - can you feed the squirrels instead?

I don't think I could replace the feeling I get watching the little creatures scurrying about and arguing with each other over who gets the Most Important Peanut. That's good stuff.

[cilla4progress]

50. Great thought but

no squirrels where I live!

[Aristus]

42. I read a lot.

And drink a lot.

[cilla4progress]

43. Ay.

My daily puff and imbibement (?) definitely "blunt" the anxiety!

[Aristus]

44. That reminds me:

I'm going to mellow out tonight with a little bit of sublingual tincture, as well as my usual distilled relaxation techniques.

[cilla4progress]

46. Tinctures and edibles don't seem to work for me?

They either knock me out or have no effect. I haven't figured it out. I have a very fast metabolism, maybe that's why.

Anyway, I like the smell of a toke...brings back great memories!

And then I try to rotate between beer/wine and spirits daily. I'm so constrained!

[Aristus]

48. I've found a couple of shots of vodka can shorten the onset of the effect

of the tincture. I think the vasodilating effect of the alcohol may have something to do with it. Anyway, within 90 minutes or so, I'm buzzing and tingling pleasantly...