Unvaccinated family -- what to do?

[AverageOldGuy]

We have two children twins, in their late 40's (very late). Daughter is a liberal Democrat, partner in a white shoe DC law firm. Son and daughter-in-law are raving Trumpistas; they have two sons, aged 15 and 13.

Plan is for everyone to be here on Christmas Day. Daughter is working from home, so, she will get here Sunday, Dec 19. Son, DIL and grandsons will come and leave Christmas day, staying a few hours.

Son, DIL, and grandsons are NOT vaccinated and have told daughter that "media is overhyping this, Dr. Fauci is getting rich off vaccines, rave, rant, bullshit upon bullshit."

We have a few choices:
-- Go ahead with Christmas Day as though nothing has happened, avoid the topic.
-- Tell son, DIL, and grandsons to stay away.
-- Require masks and rapid tests (which will cause son and DIL to go ballistic and storm out).
-- Cancel Christmas Day, call Child Protective Services, report son and DIL for child abuse and get custody of grandsons.
-- Only other options involve cops, firearms, etc., etc., etc.

What to do??

[niyad]

1. Either cancel, or tell idiot son and family to stay away.

[SayItLoud]

63. Agree

[DenaliDemocrat]

2. I made my anti-vax family take a Rapid Test

It’s not unreasonable

[Eyeball_Kid]

19. The rapid tests, IMO, aren't much of a defense against

Omicron, since its transmissibility is so rapid. The family can take a test at home, stop in a rest area on the way to your home, and pick it up.

I'd choose one of your other options: tell your son and DIL to skip the gathering. Send them gifts in the mail. Next Christmas will be better.

[magicarpet]

3. Oy,.. Oy....

Sneak off to Monaco and celebrate your Xmas there - minus all the drama and headaches.

[SheltieLover]

4. Tell unvaxed to stay away!

Regardless of what they choose to believe, this new variant is 70 times more contagious.

Sorry to hear they are forcing you to choose. 😏

On edit: credible experts say it is too sion to say whether thus is mild.

[wnylib]

66. Agree. Tell them they cannot come because

even if they wear masks, they will remove them when eating and drinking, releasing virus into the air.

Also, their masks might not be good quality or fit properly.

Quick tests not reliable enough to be safe.

First responsibility is to self and daughter and SIL. The others made their choice. No need to let them harn others.

[SheltieLover]

68. Yup!

Instant tests are very unreliable, from what info I've seen.

I would not risk my life or long-term health for anyone because at the end of the day, who is most likely to suffer...

[wnylib]

89. Speaking of spreading infections,

you are near Saratoga, aren't you? Omicron is moving fast and there is frequent travel between NYC and Albany. Take care.

It's just across the lake from us, in Toronto, so I expect to see it in Buffalo and surrounding areas very soon.

[SheltieLover]

93. Not sure where Saratoga is

I'm in Memphis region, sadly.

I've read that Cornell went virtual due to large outbreak. I think they are in western NY, so pls be extra careful!

Cases are WAY up here, too. 7 day rolling avg is 202, with 364 cases today in this county. Cases were down to 20s to 40s, then of course they all quit wearig masks.

Bazinga.

[wnylib]

96. Oops! My bad. I mixed you up with

Rhianon, who is in NY. Saratoga is near NY's capital of Albany and just upriver from NYC, which is being hit very hard again, worse infection numbers than at the start of the pandemic.

Saratoga is a horse racing center. It is mentioned in Carly Simon's song, "You're So Vain."

"Well I hear you went to Saratoga
Where your horse naturally won."

[SheltieLover]

97. Lol

No problem, Wyn. I've read that too, that NYC is getting hit hard again.

[gibraltar72]

5. 2 or 4.

[Arazi]

6. Masks unless eating, unvaxxed get rapid tests that morning, open windows for ventilation

[LisaL]

58. Eating is not going to magically protect you when you are not wearing a mask.

NT

[marybourg]

7. Are you (and spouse, if relevant) willing to risk

your lives for one more visit with son’s family? If not, tell them you must reluctantly forego their company this year.

[SoCalDavidS]

8. Option 2

Let them find some MAGA’s to hang with. No need to inconvenience the responsible ones.

[pandr32]

9. It seems obvious to me

The reason we've had the widespread vaccination campaign is to slow the spread. It has also been free of charge.
I would tell my family that if their choice has been to remain unvaccinated that is fine, but you are pro-vaccine. No vaccine--no invitation.
Maybe one day the crisis will pass.

[Scottie Mom]

10. Whatever the decision, like me, you are not a youngster...

...and I see the best choice is to not subject yourself to the unvaccinated, family or not. So, whatever you decide upon for your own protection must fall within that guideline.

[mnhtnbb]

11. If your daughter is vaccinated and wants to come, fine.

Tell the son and DIL that you are only allowing people who are vaccinated in your home. (Do you?)

Is it warm enough where you live to gather outside? If so, wear masks and get together with them outside.

[Ocelot II]

12. Even if son & family could be talked into getting vaxxed, there isn't enough time

for vax effectiveness to kick in before Christmas (it takes about 2 weeks). If it were me, I'd either say no vax, no visit, or cancel the party altogether. What they believe isn't what's true, and their belief doesn't override your safety. Sorry you have to deal with this.

[Texin]

67. I'd cancel the whole thing. Too bad if it gives everyone the sads.

It's just not worth the risk of exposure to those people - members of one's family or not - who refuse to get vaccinated regardless of whether they fear the vaccine, fear the needle stick or fear alienating other MAGA idiots. who might find out they violated the cardinal sin of MAGA psychosis. I s'pose you could invite your daughter at the risk of her twin finding out about it, but you know, choices.

[48656c6c6f20]

13. Just say no.

Tell them they can choose a alternate destination to celebrate and send them something like this.

https://www.gracelandfairlawn.com/offerings/cemetery-options

[musette_sf]

40. Best answer!

[hlthe2b]

14. Regret is the one emotion that can debilitate you for the rest of your life. If you imagine the

worst that could very well happen if you proceed as planned, what actions could you have taken but did not, would haunt you the most?

I know this is approaching a "Sophie's Choice," when it comes to family, but everyone is different in how much regret they can handle. That would be what I'd urge you to consider and act accordingly.

I'm sorry for your situation. Truly.

[msdogi]

15. Consequences

Your son should be aware his choices make spending any time with you impossible.

[snowybirdie]

16. Spend Christmas with your vaccinated family. Send a nice gift to the other family.

You obviously are in a high risk category. You can't risk getting covid of any variant. These days we seniors need to protect ourselves and use common sense. Just tell the trumpets they'd feel terrible if you got sick and died. They'd never forgive themselves. And maybe next Christmas is doable. Good luck!

[PatSeg]

49. Yes, I agree

I know it is hard when it is children and grandchildren, but it is not an unreasonable request to only have vaccinated people in one's home even during the holidays. There will be other holidays and hopefully ones without a pandemic. I can imagine the stress and anxiety of sharing a holiday with unvaccinated and unmasked family.

Send gifts and maybe do Face Time with them.

[woodsprite]

17. The only other thing I can think of

Is you all mask up when they’re around.

We just got back from my FILs funeral in FL. My MIL and SIL/cousins are antivaxers and antimaskers. We rented a separate house and kept to ourselves quite a bit. We masked religiously around them except when we were eating. During the funeral reception when mom’s house was full of people, we ate out on the lanai. Had a couple come and sit with us - masked, wife was immunocompromised. They even brought their own hand sanitizer.

When we saw MIL/SIL for the first time in over 2 yrs, the first thing out of mom’s mouth was “You’re in FL. You don’t need to wear a mask here.” I told her it was drs orders.

[Ms. Toad]

84. Two problems with that:

Eating requires masks off = exposure.

The aerosolized particles do not vanish immediately. Wearing masks only when the unvaccinated are around means you will be be exposed to the particles they have left in the air once they leave for up to seveal hours (unless you have a means to cleanse the air).

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

18. Do not allow the unvaccinated to visit, and don't go visit them.

Period.

[bluestarone]

20. My choice is #2

Have dinner with VAXXED only! They made THEIR choice, so YOU need to make YOUR choice! You will have a very good meal with a GREAT daughter!

[Binkie The Clown]

21. Cancel or ban the unvaccinated. You must protect yourself and your family. nt

[Beachnutt]

22. Being vaccinated does not stop the transmission of

this variant it only makes the symptoms less severe from my understanding, so I would say postpone until next year if possible unless everyone can test negative at the door.

[viva la]

23. I'd require masks and rapid tests--

BECAUSE it will make them storm out with their kids, and kids will hate them for ruining Christmas, and perhaps will then turn away from the death-loving antivax cult.

Cancelling everything is just letting the meanies win, so have Christmas, just not with them.

Alas, CPS probably isn't going to wade into the all-too-common situation of antivax parenting, so better to give the son and dil the option of doing the right thing and pleasing their kids-- which they won't take, and then they'll have to bathe in the acid of their Trump beliefs.

They will be lucky if the ONLY consequence of their stubborn stupidity is that they don't get to do Xmas unmasked.

[Deuxcents]

24. This calls for tough love

No vax, no visit would be my choice. They don’t have to ruin the day b/c they know how you feel about it n should accept it. I, personally, don’t make exceptions for others n that includes my family..I’m not happy about it.. you’ll make he right decision for your family. 🌲

[SheltieLover]

25. Perhaps reading this Harvard epidemiologist's twitter will help you decide

https://mobile.twitter.com/DrEricDing?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

[Johonny]

26. Have an outdoor visit for two hours with everyone masked

Honestly they believe in my body my choice, they made a choice not to vaccinate so now they can't be around vulnerable people. Their risk and your risk are not the same thing.

[Beachnutt]

37. Great idea

best option

[GoCubsGo]

27. If you don't want any unvaccinated individuals in your home, then make no exceptions.

This isn't one of those times where letting things slide in order to avoid conflict is a good idea, not only for you, but for your unvaccinated grandchildren. If you really want to see your grandkids, visit them out on the front porch, or require the mask/test thing. And, it was me, I'd explain to them that their parents are effin' idiots. But, that's just me. I'd probably also tell their parents that they're lucky I didn't call CPS on them and file for custody of the kids, and that they're morons. It's your house and your rules. If your son and DIL "go ballistic," then tell them to go home and come back when they grow the hell up.

[csziggy]

28. UPDATE: It's a hard choice - and my in laws are going to push the limit

Last edited Sat Dec 18, 2021, 01:48 PM - Edit history (2)

One of my husband's sisters and her husband are almost certainly anti-vaxx and they will be at the family Christmas get together. I'd already made the decision to not go. My brother in law will be going over with my husband and spend the day with their family.

At Thanksgiving they all got together - I didn't go then, either - and my husband said no one wore masks. I am beyond pissed that he is going to another get together at which he and his family will not wear masks or stay at a distance.

I'd been suspicious of the sister and her husband since he is a Trumpster (and an asshole) but since I had not been around them for a couple of years had hoped for the best.

While my husband, his brother, and I are all fully up to date on our COVID shots and booster, I see no reason to take any chances. I think his family should Zoom Christmas like they did last year, but they are all close and really want to get together this year. {sigh}

Update: My husband just found out that my niece (a teacher) and her husband (a Sheriff Department detective) who are hosting the Christmas meeting are not vaxxed and that BOTH had COVID earlier this year. They are "hoping" that their illness has given them immunity. My husband and his brother have both decided that they are not going to their house. My husband is trying to figure out how to tell his niece and her husband that he will not visit them again - ever. That is how upset he is.

ETA: Part of the reason he is upset is that at Thanksgiving, I was less than a week out of a tough surgery. He went, but I didn't. He did see this niece and her husband. That exposed me to a chance of me getting COVID through him.

[PatSeg]

53. That must be a relief for you

I'm glad your husband decided not to go. COVID certainly has had a profound effect on family dynamics.

[csziggy]

56. Yes, it is a relief

I am so disappointed in this pair. I thought she was a a liberal - her mother certainly is. Her husband used to be but he quit his teaching job because he was so fed up with "teaching to the test" and got a job with the sheriff's department in a very red county. I suspect it was that that tipped him over the edge and possibly her.

I've made it this far without catching COVID - I would like that to continue. I am just sorry that this may split up my husband's family. They have been so tight all the way through losing their mother, but COVID could tear them apart.

[PatSeg]

62. It is so bizarre

the people who end up going from liberal to extremist views, often quite quickly. It is even harder when it is family or friends. We never really know how vulnerable or gullible people can be.

Sadly, families often do drift apart over time, especially have a parent dies.

[csziggy]

87. Well, it turns out my husband was given bad information

What a relief! Both niece and her husband have had all the COVID shots they are eligible. Their sons are not yet eligible for shots (too young, I guess). My husband sent a text to his niece about how disappointed he was in her. Her husband called since she was crying in reaction. The whole thing was a text message clusterfuck - sort of like a bad game of telephone with modern technology.

So now he's back to going to Christmas with his brother. I'd still rather they not go, but now it seems more important for the family to be together. I just don't have the endurance just now to go for an overnight, and long day get together so I'm staying home.

[PatSeg]

88. That certainly is a relief

I think everyone is hyper sensitive these days and holidays only magnify it. Meanwhile, I don't blame you for staying home. Personally, I'm not fond of holiday gatherings outside close family. It is much too stressful for me and I like people in small, intimate groups. As long as I can be with my grandsons, I'm happy!

[Politicub]

29. If you coddle the unvaxxed, then you put everyone else at risk.

I know this is a tough decision for you, and I don’t envy you for having to make it.

If you decide to let the unvaxxed over, you need to clearly explain to the vaxxed people what you are planning. If the vaxxed don’t decide to come because of your decision to put them in contact with people who don’t give a damn, then you need to be okay with that. That is their decision to not come, and that’s the decision I would make if I were your daughter.

The actions of the unvaxxed radiate from their person to those around them. They are careless and callous toward others’ health because of ideology. They don’t care about you or anyone else.

My extended family has canceled our traditional Christmas gathering, as we did last year. I will visit my (vaxxed) grandmother, but I will not see my fundie idiot uncle. My folks are vaxxed and I don’t have siblings. My husband and I will have a happy Christmas visit with them. I don’t have kids, so I understand my situation is less complex than yours.

The health and safety of people that I care about outweighs upset conservatives in my family. I have a lot of responsibilities and I need to take care of myself, too.

It doesn’t matter if the unvaccinated kid and fam stay for a few hours or a few minutes. They put everyone at risk. You have a degree of protection against infection, but not 100 percent.

[dalton99a]

30. Tell them you're scared. If they say "Fuck Your Feelings", tell them to stay away and use FaceTime

or Zoom

[MissMillie]

31. With predictions of another serious wave of infections??? You need to ask?

Unvaccinated/unmasked/untested people should not be out socializing.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

[ismnotwasm]

32. I got "uninvited" to Thanksgiving because I AM vaccinated

My brother is way down the crazy anti-vax hole, and thinks vaccinated people shed something that cause infertility. So there apparently are degrees of anti-vaccinated opinion

I had other plans anyway but still. I have other plans for Christmas too.

My point is there are level of anti-vax crazy.

I’d ask for a Covid test. They can go ballistic. What I see of these people, is just about everyone has had Covid touch their lives. They know it’s out there. They know people get sick. They are bullshitting their way through this.

[blueinredohio]

33. Masks and tests.

[Earth-shine]

34. If you have a situation of mixed vaxxed and unvaxxed around a table ...

set up some fans to circulate the air above and around the table. Open some windows. Crank the heat if it's cold.

It's not so simple a thing to stay away from the unvaxxed when they are people we love.

[Hortensis]

35. :) In your place, I think I might consider trying to get them to agree to

protect us by testing and retesting before and at arrival. Testing would be an alternative to masks.

If we did and they wouldn't, we would regretfully accept their decision not to come. I'd try to get them to agree that we'll all gather at a safer time for us and for now to plan to gather virtually to open presents together, etc.

This will pass.

[albacore]

36. Let them decide. Masks and distancing and outdoors... or don't come. Your house, your rules. nt

[Gore1FL]

38. Postpone until everyone is vaccinated.

If there really is child abuse then report it without hesitation. If this is over the vaccination status, I don't know if CPS would consider that abuse.

[pwb]

39. Sounds like some don't give a rats ass about your health?

Old guys need to think of the family big picture. Make them not welcome is what I would do.

[Bev54]

41. Sorry the unvaccinated would not be allowed in my home, period.

Not for a few hours and not for 5 minutes, son and grandchildren or not. It is not worth the chance. If they cannot respect you enough to get vaccinated so they do not infect you and others, then do not placate to them.

[madville]

42. Enjoy Christmas Day with your family

With the vaccines not able to prevent symptomatic Omicron infection very well, it won’t make much difference if they are vaccinated or not by then anyway, it likely will be the dominate strain at this pace.

I’m around unvaccinated people everyday at work so I’m used to it though and wouldn’t really care as far as seeing loved ones for a few hours.

[yardwork]

59. There's plenty of evidence that vaccines reduce severity of the disease.

No question about that. It's not true that vaccines "make no difference" with the omicron variant.

[madville]

80. Completely misrepresented

I said the vaccines don’t appear to make much difference at preventing symptomatic infection with Omicron. I said nothing regarding their ability to reduce the severity of the infection (which real data is not available for yet since it is still too new).

I am basing my statement regarding the ability to prevent symptomatic infection on the early reports from a couple of European countries that their rate of positive tests among the vaccinated closely mirrors the percent of the overall population that’s vaccinated. In Denmark for example, 79% of positive tests are vaccinated people and 81% of the country is vaccinated.

[yardwork]

81. I disagree that anyone can make that assessment yet.

It's not helpful to tell people that vaccines won't make a difference with omicron.

[madville]

85. Again misrepresented

Are you disputing the plethora of articles and studies from this week that show the vaccines are substantially less effective at “preventing infection” with the Omicron variant? So far it looks like being vaccinated or not makes little difference in the ability to become infected by and/or spread Omicron.

I have not once claimed they are less effective at preventing severe illness which is a separate issue entirely and currently being studied. There were some promising results yesterday that the Moderna booster may be 70% effective at “preventing severe illness” with Omicron.

[bluestarone]

91. I truly hope Averageoldguy listens to YOU!

YOU are 100% correct, in my eyes!

[littlemissmartypants]

43. Cancel. Get a good strong, large mug of eggnog, kick back and sing Christmas carols.

Problem solved without having to compromise Christmas cheer.

Plus, you don't have to be the hosts of a super spreader event for your family and the community at large. The lives you will potentially save far exceed the confines of your family unit.

Your family has an obligation to support your assessment of the pandemic just like you respect their opinions. It is unfortunate that the two are at odds with each other. C'est la vie. And you'd like to keep yours while protecting the right of others to that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Que será, será.

So, as the responsible, well intentioned and compassionate individual that you are, it makes perfect sense that you would put the health and safety of your fellow citizens before your own.

By making a logical decision to postpone until things are better, on behalf of yourself and your family, you release yourself and your family from possibly contracting and also spreading, a highly infectious, potentially deadly disease.

What better gifts could anyone give and get for Christmas?

Just like Christmases, public health disasters will come and go but once you have lost your health, you can potentially suffer forever.

If anyone is exposed to the virus there's a good chance they would spread it to someone else, maybe a neighbor or maybe a stranger. But you and yours, would ultimately be responsible and you probably don't want that on your conscience.

By cancelling a potential spreader event, your impact far exceeds the confines of your own home. Just tell whomever you've decided it's best to sit this one out. You don't even owe anyone a reason.

Plainly stated, it's a "my house, my rules" situation. If they don't agree, that's their prerogative. They can exercise that prerogative from a safe distance.

I hope this helps.

❤pants

[MuseRider]

44. You are probably

a bit older than I am. A case could be devastating to anyone but we elders need to take more care. Tell them to stay home. Do not risk yourself, your wife or your daughter and SIL. I know it hurts, we have had a similar problem with one son over other things so it has been a while since we have seen him and his family on Christmas. Believe me, as much as it hurts it is much better than any of you getting even a dose of Omicron. There will be other times and if not it is not your fault to miss this day. Outliers need to remain outcast, kindly, or not depending, as long as they wish to be clueless. Please do not risk yourself. As hard as it is to realize, they are the ones making this happen by not being concerned about anyone but themselves and their already proven false ideas.

[PTWB]

45. No vaccine, no invitation.

They’re putting their conspiracy theories over your well-being. Don’t humor that behavior.

[GoneOffShore]

46. Tell them that as they're not vaccinated, they get to eat outside, on the porch.

And they can use the porta-potty.

[ironflange]

47. It's your house, you can set the rules

[LudwigPastorius]

48. Require masks and rapid tests

However, tell them well in advance.

If, as you say, this will result in them staying away, the rest of you will be safe without the onus of having to actually disinvite them.

[DanieRains]

50. Omnicron Is Extremely Contaigious

No vaccine no enter.

Sorry.

[MLAA]

51. I wouldn't risk your your daughter, SIL, your spouse and your own health for

your son, DIL and grandkids. I just wouldn’t. I would call and in-invite the son and his family.

[malaise]

52. True story

Close family friends planned a party for their oldest daughter’s birthday. All but the kids as in grandchildren were vaccinated. The seniors had their booster shots. Two siblings declined- one has had serious health issues since she was a teenager; the other is like me - deadly serious about COVID.
35 of them gathered - 20 now have COVID from three generations. None is in hospital - those are the facts.
For the second year in a row, there will be no Christmas dinner here.
I thought about it until I got this horrific news yesterday.

[llmart]

54. Good luck to you.

Maybe choose option 2 but do it in a tactful way. Obviously, I'm sure you wouldn't just say "stay away" but you could say "in light of this new wave of Covid and since your you and your family are all unvaccinated, we are going to choose to celebrate with a Zoom call. Would 7 PM be a good time?" Or something like that.

I think it's a horrible dilemma many of us seniors are facing. In my family, my grown son and daughter and daughter-in-law are all vaccinated and boosted, but they have a five-year old who is now in kindergarten and she just turned five and hasn't had a chance to be vaccinated fully.

[milestogo]

55. Protect yourselves.

Have a virtual christmas with anyone who won't vaccinate.

[cilla4progress]

57. I vote for

require masks and rapid tests. Let them storm out.

[Tree Lady]

60. I haven't had to do this but my adult daughter 40's

Went to large gathering on thanksgiving (exes large family) and they used excuse that gramma was old to force all unvaxed to test and mask except eating or not come.

I saw the pics and all the adults over 30 were vaccinated but 5 in 20's wore masks. Luckily they didn't have to deal with the maga thing. I actually think thats the hard part, you can reason with those that just don't want it but respect you.

If your son respects and cares about you he will test and mask up but I have a strong feeling from what you said that his attitude from being a solid maga will stop him. Sorry you have to go through this. You might say something like I love you but I am getting older and have to take care of my health, better safe than sorry.

[tiredtoo]

61. have a similar situation

Fortunately for me, unvaxxed son lives far enough away that he and his family will not be coming. However child who was scheduled to host gathering this year was just diagnosed with covid. We are all staying home this year.
I would recommend uninviting Son and his family. This too will pass.

[Escurumbele]

64. Here is what I do already

1. Require masks and rapid tests
1.1 If they do it and are all negative, they can come
1.2 If they refuse to do it, then they cannot come
2. Do not require masks because at some point in time they will fly off, they have to it which makes the use of masks for a few minutes useless.

Not sure about your other options, I have n comment on that but you have to protect your immediate family, you have done things right to do so, why should someone jeopardize all your efforts?

[sarcasmo]

65. No unvaxxed at the party.

[Sherman A1]

69. Cancel Christmas

And tell everyone just why you did.

[Lasher]

70. Cancel Christmas Day.

Be honest if anybody asks you why, but don't volunteer that information.

[relayerbob]

71. Cancel.

Or take a long trip to Cancun

[Iggo]

72. No unvaxxed in our house. No exceptions.

It’s a very simple rule. And while there are some hurt feelings, there are never any arguments.

[Cousin Dupree]

73. Uninvited the unvaxxed. Happens all the time. Why should you subject yourself and others

to them? If you allow them into your house, you are enabling their craziness

[iluvtennis]

74. Tell son, DIL, and grandsons to stay home. Tell them you can do a belated Christmas with them

after they are vaccinated.

Tough love.

[sdfernando]

75. Tell them to stay away.

Being a parent can be difficult. You have to be tough with the kids sometimes, even when the kids are in their late 40s. You may not be able to get through to your son and DIL but the examples you show may have an effect on the grandchildren.

This is tough and I hate what tfg has done to families.

Peace to all your family...and a special just for you.

[Lonestarblue]

76. Is it possible to eat outside?

If so, set up two tables, 8 feet or so apart, and put the unvaccinated at one table. They might get upset and leave, but at least you would be trying to see them without jeopardizing your own health.

[irisblue]

77. Zoom time with the idiot child?

" we love and value you all, but we, your parents will not take that risk of exposure."

[sarge43]

78. Number 2

Too late to vaxx, so stay away. Number 3 is too risky, especially with the variants on the loose.

[TexasBushwhacker]

79. I wouldn't let them in the house

My 28 year old niece, who we just established contact with about 18 months ago, was dragging her feet about getting the vaccine. She works at Home Depot and always wears 2 masks, but she needed to get the shot. She also has a 19 year old half brother, just washed out of basic training in the Army who lives with her and plays video games.

Anyway, we planned on having Thanksgiving dinner at my brother's house. We are both vaccinated. My brother had back surgery coming up after Thanksgiving. I told my niece that we would love to have her and her brother join us, but they must be vaccinated. I reminded her that the only way she would be able to visit her 92 year old great aunt at Christmas was if she was vaccinated.

That did the trick, for her. She got her first shot the day before Thanksgiving and is getting her second on the 21st. However, her brother said he "didn't trust it" even though he got every shot known to man when he joined the Army. So he got to chew on a smoked turkey leg by himself while we had a wonderful meal. She will get to see all of my mother's side if the family on Christmas Eve, who haven't seen her since she was a toddler.

Just put your foot down and mean it. JMHO

[liberal_mama]

82. If they aren't vaccinated, they probably aren't taking other precautions either, like masking

I'd demand rapid tests, but if they are going to storm out, that's obviously not going to work.

Things are really getting bad now. I wouldn't take the risk.

[Ms. Toad]

83. From my perspective - easy call: Tell son, DIL, and grandsons to stay away.

We have a nephew who is like your your son and daughter-in-law. His mother had family over for Thanksgiving. He was not invited. His sister had family over for the day after Thanksgiving. He was not invited.

Both made it clear that only individuals who were vaccinated were welcome.

Nephew then tried to hold a Christmas party at his house (declaring it a mask-free vaccination-free zone). Everyone declined (except his mother), and he had to cancel for the second year in a row. He's not getting the message, but at least he's not taking family members out with him.

[MustLoveBeagles]

86. I'm sorry you have to go through this

If your daughter and her partner are vaxxed go ahead and invite them as planned. If your son and DIL are staunchly anti-vax and pro-trump it's doubtful they've taken other precautions like masking in public and social distancing. In our house you have to vaccinated to enter it, no exceptions. I think it would be a good idea for you to have a similar rule in place. Stick to your guns even if they throw tantrums or try to guilt trip you. Your son and his wife have created this situation not you and it's a shame you grandkids have to suffer for it.


There's been an uptick in cases again and while the initial data may suggest that this new variant isn't as deadly, this isn't a known fact as of yet. It's just not worth the risk.

[DFW]

90. I'd welcome the daughter, tell the son he and family need to sit this year out.

I feel sad for you, but nothing else makes sense. Of course, this is easy for me to say, since the closest Republican in my family is a cousin in Tennessee I have not seen since 1994. Our daughters are solid Democrats, and their men, though not American citizens, are all on the same wavelength, as are my brother and sister. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have Trumpanzees in the immediate family. That must be some kind of mental torture!!

[Jose Garcia]

92. If you have been vaccinated, your risk of severe illness or death is very small

[Ocelot II]

94. But not nonexistent; and even if you get only a mild case you can still transmit it to others

who might not be so lucky. Anyhow, that isn't the point. The son is disrespecting the entirely legitimate concerns of his parents and is willing to expose them to an illness that may or may not be serious for them. IMO he can sit Christmas out somewhere else.

[sarge43]

95. Plus, we don't know the possible long term effects of even a mild case.

A virus can stay dormant for years, then become active again. Chicken pox and shingles are good example.

You're right; possible exposure is just too risky.

[Jose Garcia]

102. The same could be said about the Flu, but

no one shunned family members who didn't get the flu vaccine.

[Ocelot II]

103. Flu is a different animal. It can be bad, but recent strains are neither as transmissible

nor as frequently deadly as covid. I got one of the influenza variants during one of the occasional epidemics, and it was miserable, but I was never in danger of dying or of suffering long-term effects. And, AFAIK there is no such thing as "long flu." Influenza can and does kill off some number of elderly or immunocompromised people, and the 1918 epidemic took out a lot of younger people because it caused cytokine storms that turned their strong immune systems against them, but that's not typical of recent flu strains. In 1918 there was no flu vaccination, but if there had been, I'd bet many people would have refused to entertain the unnvaxxed, and with good reason. There is nothing a bit unreasonable about refusing to let unvaxxed/unmasked people into your house, family or otherwise. I even insisted on, and got, a vaccinated and masked piano tuner last summer.

[Texaswitchy]

98. I say no to you son and family.

Your health is more important.

Zoom them.


You have your daughter.

Stay safe.

[roamer65]

99. Christmas in biohazard suits.

BSL3 Xmas with the family.

[Pobeka]

100. The odds of them showing up uninfected are low now with omicron present. Tests are unreliable.

There was a great article on the atlantic about how home tests are not that good and being misused. More anecdotal stories are coming in about people who tested negative one day before an event, but were postive just a day later. Even a PCR test may miss it a day before the person becomes infectious because there's just not enough virus present in the individual for the test to detect. But wait a day, and the test can go positive.

Given that, and omicron:

Vaxxed people are likelty to get infected. While the odds of bad symtoms is low -- especially if recently boosted:

Vaxxed people may pass it on, eventually to a person who did everything right, but dies or has horrible symptoms anyway.

I won't allow myself to be a link in the transmission chain to someone who doesn't deserve to get COVID. We told our dear friends of 30 years no to Thanksgiving because of their refusal to be vaxxed.

We all gotta row this boat together, so the analogy goes.

I would tell them to stay away. They may see you when they have two doses + two weeks.

[Nixie]

101. Probably get rapid tests, then wear masks when going out for

family outings.