Mom fell and broke five ribs!

[Bluesaph]

Earlier I had posted about mom coming for a visit from Costa Rica. She’s 76 and has cirrhosis from diabetes.

Well she blew her diabetic diet, got stopped up, ammonia went into her brain and she lost her balance and fell and broke five ribs. I had set up a baby monitor so she could call me if she had to get up in the middle of the night. But she did not want to bug and tried to do it on her own. So so sad!!! And I feel horrible!!!

Poor little thing is so tough. She was trying not to be a bother instead of asking for help. She was in the hospital for six days and I now managed to get her in a skilled nursing facility. She only gets $590 per month social security. But she didn’t have a supplemental health plan so she’s gonna owe 20% of her medical fees.

I’m trying to get her medical and Medicaid in California but they ask for our income since she’s staying here. I don’t know how to avoid this. I don’t want her to be in all this debt.

Does anyone have any advice on how to manage the system so that they count her as her own household. She doesn’t live with me full time. She was here for a visit and fell and now will likely be here much longer.

Oh and to make matters worse they found a 5.5 cm lesion on her liver which was biopsied Monday. Waiting for results.

Poor sweet little thing. She doesn’t deserve this!!!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

1. Wouldn't her own income be the only one that matters?

The fact that she's staying with you, I would hope wouldn't matter. Not that I fully understand these things. But really, you should not be suddenly responsible for her medical bills, just because she's temporarily staying with you.

[Irish_Dem]

5. Right. So if you fall when visiting a friend, their income is included in calculating benefits?

Sounds crazy to me.

[Bluesaph]

13. I should hope that's the case!

But she can’t pay the 20% not covered by Medicare. So regardless, someone has to pay. So we need to get her everything she qualifies for.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

15. The 20% not covered by Medicare has nothing to do with anyone else's income.

It's her responsibility, although, if you choose to help her out, that is quite nice. Oh, and this is why I have an Advantage plan, which are routinely trashed here. Oddly enough, my Advantage plan covers almost all of that 20%.

Let's see, when I had a heart attack a couple of years ago, my total hospital bill came to around $80,000. 20% of that would have been $16,000. Instead, I paid less than $1,000.

I do hope you get this figured out.

[shenmue]

2. oh no

Have mercy.

[mahina]

3. Oh my God. Good luck both of you.

[Lucinda]

4. The facility probably has a social worker on staff that can help

If her residence is in another country it may be tricky. Is she a US citizen?

I would definitely check with the social worker. They should have info on the best resources/options...
❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[Irish_Dem]

6. Yes I agree, hospital social worker is a good place to start.

Maybe an attorney needs to get involved as well.

[Mr.Bill]

11. What you want at the hospital is called

a case manager. The last five years of my wife's RN career was spent doing that job. A big part of their job is finding any government aid that can pay hospital bills. They are the experts.

I don't understand why they are counting the OP's income unless they are claiming her as a dependant.

[Hortensis]

18. THIS, and as Irish Dem and Mr.Bill say. Best done while she's inpatient.

A hospital's social services department is a great place to start. Hospitals really need to get patients discharged when there's no medical reason to remain, and they've become big experts in the various assistances available, especially those to address social problems that are delaying discharge and bill paying.

Physicians and police even normally take people who can no longer remain on their own to the ER specifically to get them plugged into this system, as the first step to obtaining and moving them on to assisted care. That's not the case in your mom's situation, of course, she has her loving family to go to, and now in a SNF, but...the hospital's social services department. And the SNF's resources.

[milestogo]

7. I'm so sorry.

Breaking ribs is really painful. A co-worker of mine fell forward on her steps and broke 8 ribs. She was out for 2 months and said it was horrible.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

8. Broke 2 ribs like 15 years ago

And they still ache sometimes and get sore. It hurts like hell when Othello steps on those 2 ribs with his pokey paws.


I lost my balance and fell off the porch hit the stairs below and into the yard. Omg it hurt. Couldnt stand up even with someone helping me. So 911 was called.

Sorry about your mom.
2 was painful enough I cant imagine how awful breaking so many more ribs would hurt.

[Bluesaph]

9. Thank you all

In California relatives may be responsible for their parents’ medical bill so I recently learned. But maybe it is just if say we inherited something from her and then refused to pay her bills. But that’s just a guess.

She is a US citizen and we brought her here partly to give her a break from her husband because as he’s getting older is making him harder to deal with. He has narcissistic personality disorder and was even difficult 32 years ago when she married him!!

Now we are hoping we can keep her here because we see he is in no way able to take care of her. And he refuses to get help and scares off anyone we hire to go help her. Heck! He scared me off during one of my trips to check on mom!!!

The only thing the case worker said is to apply to Medi-Cal and Medicaid. But when I went on the website to apply it asked for ALL household member salaries. I didn’t want to lie. But even though technically we are one household SHE is her own household. Maybe we can draw up a room rental agreement.

I’m not sure what to do. She’s working so hard to heal at the skilled nursing facility. She has her own personal trainer even. And they are treating her great. And for the first time in her life she is independently taking control of her diet EHICH IS HUGE!! So happy for the care she is being given. We are just worried about the bill!!!

I was hoping someone here would have some ideas about navigating the system. I am scared to be accused of fraud if we don’t use our incomes. But we have a kid in college. Can’t afford anything extra right now.

[Mr.Bill]

12. See my post #11.

I posted it before I read this post.

[Bluesaph]

17. Thank you

The case manager told us to apply for Medicaid and medical. That’s where they ask for the entire household income. She lives with us when she comes to the US. She lives with her husband when she is in CR.

I think I’m going to write up a rental agreement.

[Stuart G]

10. Wishing your mom the very best.

[Sogo]

14. You said your mom came for a visit....

That doesn't make her part of your household.

I don't understand why you feel obligated to include your income for a visitor to your home, unless you haven't characterized her visit correctly....

[Bluesaph]

16. Because it asks for an address in the US

That’s us. That’s why it’s complicated.

[Sogo]

19. Get her one of those addresses

that is a P.O. Box, but uses street address and #. That way it looks like an apartment. Come on, you know it's not entirely true, but it's also not true that your income should be counted as hers, unless you're not telling us something, like you actually are supporting her financially. I also think your idea about charging her rent sounds authentic.

It would probably be a good idea to get some actual legal advice from an attorney that knows the laws in your state.

[Bluesaph]

20. We pay for her to have a companion

in CR. She takes her to doctors appointments, visiting relatives, manicures and pedicures. We spoil her and send her extra money to give her a good quality of life. Those are gifts. Not support.