Caption young Professor Newt......

[yellowcanine]

[Ian David]

1. OMG... he looks like a David Cross character from "Mr. Show." n/t

[d_r]

2. +1

he has to wear his jorts in the shower

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

10. Mr Show - McHutchence vs Greeley III

[Ian David]

18. Yes!! That's the one! n/t

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

29. Rommney has definitely been taking advice from Harrison Greely III. nt

[joeybee12]

3. Bitter? You think this is bitter?

Wait 30 years.

[gratuitous]

4. Someday . . . you will recognize my genius!

Oh yes, you will. And ignore that "Geography" designation, hung on me by small people. I'm a historian!

[Hugabear]

5. "So many women...so little time" - n/t

n/t

[spanone]

6. practicing his patronizing, condescending smirk

[riverwalker]

7. Hey baby....

I'm gonna be President some day....you wanna be "chief of my staff?"

[yellowcanine]

8. Would any of you young ladies like to share me with my high school math teacher?

[Scurrilous]

9. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica..."

[Ganja Ninja]

11. Well since I left my baby

She got a new place to dwell
Way down at the end of lonely street
At Heartbreak Hotel

I'll make you so lonely baby
I'll make you so lonely
I can't hang around and watch you die

You see my schedule's crowed baby
I just can't find the room
To hang around and comfort you
or deal with your gloom

I'll make you so lonely baby
I'll make you so lonely
I can't hang around and watch you die

[mike_c]

12. hey baby, the name's "Newt," Gingrich Newt...

...er, I mean Newt Gingrich! What's your sign?

[Hubert Flottz]

13. "I wanted to get into med. shcool and become a gynecology doctor but...

I flunked the entrance exam on the math part. I just couldn't remember my times and placentas. I got into geography 'cause I didn't need to cipher as much."

[liberal N proud]

14. And women were attracted to that?

[Doctor_J]

50. Only ones who are too ugly to be a president's wife

according to Newt

[auburngrad82]

15. How can someone who professes to be an expert on American History

be so clueless when it comes to checks and balances? He has said he'll ignore Supreme Court rulings that he doesn't agree with.

Does he see himself as a dictator rather than a president?

[Earth_First]

16. Full of shit since 1974 n/t

[Hubert Flottz]

17. "I've always done everthang I could to put you ladies up on my pedistal.

How can I love just one woman, when I love America so much?

[jorno67]

19. I just bought a van and a puppy...

[EFerrari]

26. LOL

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

20. He worked at an obscure college in Georgia for about 8 years

and left after being denied tenure. Why was he was denied tenure? It's clear that Newt's egomania pissed off the department chair and everybody else, so eventually they 86'd him. A little more insight into Newt's academic career, here:

A year into his first full-time teaching job, Newt Gingrich applied to be college president, submitting with his application a paper titled "Some Projections on West Georgia College's Next Thirty Years." Newt Gingrich fashions himself as the history professor of the GOP presidential field. So what exactly was he like as an academic? Elizabeth Williamson on Lunch Break looks at West Georgia College, which employed the former Speaker in the late 1970s.

Mel Steely, a history professor who played a role in Mr. Gingrich's hiring in 1970, said the bid drew "a chuckle" from administrators. The following year, Mr. Gingrich applied to be chairman of the history department. That wasn't greeted so kindly, Mr. Steely said, with some favoring a longtime professor and World War II veteran.

"We weren't going to make Newt our chairman, but he liked the idea of competing for almost anything," said Mr. Steely, who later wrote a complimentary biography of Mr. Gingrich titled "The Gentleman From Georgia." "He figured 'I'm capable of doing this,' and it didn't bother him so much that it offended anybody."

Mr. Gingrich often says his experience as a historian would make him a superior president. During Monday's GOP debate, he lectured "as a historian" on "a fact-based model" for revamping Social Security, citing the success of programs in Galveston, Texas, and Chile.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203735304577167041714568630.html

[JHB]

34. Thanks, I'd been looking for something about Newt's academic "career" n/t

[pinboy3niner]

21. "See? They didn't hire me as a lobbyist. They hired me as a geographer."

[EFerrari]

22. Yes, that is genuine polyester plaid.

[pinboy3niner]

24. Reminds me of some car seat upholstery I once had

[EFerrari]

25. Reminds me of disco hangovers I once had.

lol

[sarge43]

27. How many polyes had to die to make that suit? Call PETA right now! n/t

[yellowcanine]

31. It took two - One named Polly and one named Esther.

[lpbk2713]

23. Oh yeah (snap)

I remember his daddy from the Ed Sullivan Show.

[JoePhilly]

28. Seperated at birth??

[yellowcanine]

30. Unfortunately I used to have a pair of glasses just like those - but I never had sideburns like that

I guess you could call that Newt's "Elvis" stage.

[Kingofalldems]

32. Austin Powers

Yeah baby!

[Whisp]

33. Geography, eh?

See that tiny little island there? (points at a map)
Thats where all the people that care (about Noot) live.

-This from a Far Side calendar I had years ago. Might be a bit foggy on the retelling but it was one of my faves.

[11 Bravo]

35. Hey there, sugar britches. You ever bang a transformative figure?

[Erose999]

36. Post office torn between "fat Newt" postage stamp and "fatter Newt" postage stamp.

[Bruce Wayne]

52. Hopefully self-adhesive.

I mean, he's sticky enough as it is, and I'm sure no one would want to lick it.

[graywarrior]

37. Not a pretty man, is he.

[Swede]

38. School Yearbook "Wouldn't know a good time if he tripped over it."

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

39. Folks, you gotta read this article! Newt's academic career, such as it was,

accurately foreshadows everything he's done since.

Much as I generally dislike the Wall Street Urinal, there's some juicy stuff here about Newt's academic career - including the fact that he applied for the job of college president only a year after being hired as a brand new assistant professor. When that didn't work he applied (unsuccessfully, of course) to be the history department chair. Eventually they transferred him the the geography department. In the meantime he was involving himself in politics and not doing much teaching: "Mr. Gingrich was often absent as he pursued political goals. He embarked on an effort to moonlight as a paid consultant. And, it turns out, he spent little time teaching history."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203735304577167041714568630.html

And there's this:

A December 1973 news story by Howell Raines, then of the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, noted Mr. Gingrich was making "four or more speeches a week," while "carefully retaining the unofficial status of his candidacy." It was against the rules of the university system for serving professors to campaign for office.

And this:

After his unsuccessful bid for the president's job, college officials asked him and a colleague to draw up ideas for modernizing the institution. That led to the 1973 creation of "The Institute for Directed Change and Renewal," a platform the two men used to try to sell the institute's services to public schools.

Mr. Gingrich wrote to a college vice president asking if it was "appropriate and legal" to profit from their work. College President Pafford responded swiftly: "You are not entitled to financial compensation by any other State of Georgia agency or institution," he wrote in a memo. The institute soon went defunct.

Read the whole thing. It's juicy.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203735304577167041714568630.html

[yellowcanine]

45. Mr. Gingrich left the small liberal arts college in 1977 after seven years and after he was denied

tenure. He must have been doing squat be denied tenure in 1977 at a small liberal arts college. Generally just doing your share of teaching and publishing a couple of articles a year would have done it in a situation like that.

[originalpckelly]

40. A burning hunk o love or a steaming pile of shit: you decide America.

[pacalo]

41. "Hey, it wasn't *my* idea. After I told my hair stylist my name was Newt, she sculpted my hair like

a Keebler elf's."

[XemaSab]

42. .

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

43. "I blow dry my hair with my own mouth."

[skip fox]

44. Young Professor New Grinch is thinking:

"American History used to bore me sh*tless. So with my new degree, I've decided to re-write it. Let's see . . . 'Deism' . . . never existed. . . . Hmm, 'religious tolerance' means they gotta respect my religion. . . . And 'happiness for all' really meant for voters only . . . you know, the white men with property. . . . I want to change the books and bring America back to its roots!"

[Tommy_Carcetti]

46. What is the ratio of Newt Bucks to Stanley Nickels?

The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

[Erose999]

47. Your lips are laughing at my ridiculous glasses and sideburns, but your eyes are saying "I'm totally

into swinging".

[Ilsa]

48. Dude had jowls even as a young man.

What a fugly mf'er.

[Snotcicles]

49. Herb Tarlek, in a Roy Orbison kinda way. nt

[Warren DeMontague]

51. "Odd Man Out At The Orgy"