Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

[snooper2]

[HappyMe]

1. LOL!

There are a lot of those out there. I'm so glad I don't have one.

[sharp_stick]

2. Trying On Clothes Is Proof Of Life

She's not dead, she's just an idiot.

I love the protest signs

[blogslut]

3. I LOLed

Thank you.

[southernyankeebelle]

4. What I don't understand is that she can text? Is she dressing herself? Putting on makeup?

How is she brain dead? I don't get it. She is acting like a typical teenager to me. If her parents are saying she is brain dead then I don't think the girl is living a quality life. I believe you have a right to end your life if there is nothing they can do for you. By the way how did this happen to her?

[TwilightGardener]

6. ????

[southernyankeebelle]

11. Oh I've been had, LOL. This is a joke. A terrible funny joke none the less.

[TwilightGardener]

15. It's pretty awful, but damn funny.

Best quote: "Are you FOR REAL killing me?"

[southernyankeebelle]

17. stop it your killing me. LOL< LOL

[leftynyc]

7. Your snark meter needs some tuning (n/t)

[snooper2]

10. at work and can't....stop....laughing.....

Have to go outside now ROFL

[Shrike47]

12. You did catch that this is the Onion, right?

If they wait a few years, she might recover.

[southernyankeebelle]

18. No I didn't really didn't. I should have known. It really is funny and I was had that is for sure.

I've made everyone's day for sure. I am still laughing at myself. I am an easy target. I believe everything someone tells me.

[barbtries]

43. don't feel like the only one.

i believed my son when he told me that "gullible" isn't even an actual word you can find in the dictionary.

[southernyankeebelle]

44. Well honey I hate to tell you but somehow that is my middle name, LOL.

I remember once my best girl was getting married. So we all went to the beauty school to get our hair done. Why there I didn't know but they chose the place. Her mother is a prankster. Well if you been to a beauty school you know that students do your hair. Evidently, my friend's mother told the instructor I was getting married and could she do my hair. I didn't know that. When we left the girls told me what was going on. Of course we all had a good laugh at my expense.

[Rainngirl]

45. Bless your heart.

I'm completely gullible, too. I always have to first look to see if it's the Onion or Borowitz--although there's a new satire group that I hadn't heard about and they got me the other day with an article on Facebook about O'Reilly going off on somebody (which he is always doing) and was proof that he was losing his marbles. The problem these days is that there is a much narrower line between satire and reality. O'Reilly really IS losing his marbles, but it was a fake story anyway. haha

[southernyankeebelle]

50. I just didn't think someone would make fun of a brain dead person. But I have to admit

it is a terrible joke but it is funny once I realized it. I'm sure I will fall again. I am to trusting.

[tblue37]

53. That is what Poe's Law is all about. You really CAN'T tell the difference

any more between real RW nonsense and a parody of RW nonsense.

[robbob]

59. CBC radio (Canada) has been getting me lately

They have a new show called "This is That"; they do fake news stories that are JUST close enough to the truth to catch me yelling at the radio until I realize that I've been had (again).

Example; they did a recent story on how the Quebec language police (yes, they DO exist) are checking dog parks to make sure that all dogs can understand at least 10 commands in both English AND French, including man-on-the-street interviews (big french accent: "I was walking in de park la and dis big dogs 'e jump on me; I say "Whoa Chien, laisse-moi", but 'e understand not-ing!&quot

The funniest part of the show is when they play back outraged callers who have (like me) been taken in by the "news" story.

[trumad]

21. Just in case you Self Delete this post...

I have to say your post is one of the classic all time posts ever at DU.

[southernyankeebelle]

26. Well you are right. However, really didn't know that it wasn't real. So everyone got a laugh. I'm

happy everyone had a good laugh. Now thanks for the suggestion I will delete it.

[Sissyk]

28. lmao!

Everyone is laughing with you, southernyankeebelle!

I myself busted out loud at work!

[southernyankeebelle]

32. Ya'll are killing me.

[southernyankeebelle]

30. What can I say. How am I going to delete you have copied and posted as a classic? My comment

was meant sincerely in the first place. I didn't realize it was a joke. But once I got responses I realized I fell for it. Like I said I'm glad people got a laugh even I laughed. So unless you delete your comment I can't delete mine.

[groundloop]

60. If you had a teenage daughter you'd have known right away

The instant I read about rolling eyes and texting I broke out laughing.

[southernyankeebelle]

61. I don't have a teenage daughter. My granddaughter is only 7. I will at least know what to

look for.

[pnwmom]

68. Girls don't roll their eye at their Grandmas.

Grandmas are special.

[southernyankeebelle]

69. Your right. Shhh don't tell my granddaughter that she has me wrapped around her little finger.

She is only 7 yrs old and my world.

[TeeYiYi]

46. It's a DU classic, for sure! Thanks for preserving it, Trumad...

... In that one paragraph, she makes the parents' case. Priceless eyebrow-raising irony.

(Thank you, southernyankeebelle!)

TYY

[msanthrope]

52. You made this thread the gem that it is....OWN IT!! nt

[southernyankeebelle]

54. Well sometimes you have no choice. I do own it. If you can't laugh at yourself then

I'd be sad all the time. I'm happy everyone got a good laugh. Who knows maybe it helped someone get through their bad day.

[msanthrope]

62. Lady, I think you are owed a DUZY trophy. I'm not sure they exist. But on St. Crispian's day....

Trumad bestirred hismself to recordeth this...you are LEGENDARY....

[southernyankeebelle]

64. Thank you, LOL. I really like the clip. I will be glad to have the Duzy (whatever it is). I will

cherish it. However, I don't think I that lengendary. Remember I have been to the jury room for being a badddddd girl. I am trying hard to stay out of there.

[TwilightGardener]

5. OK, that's the best thing I've seen

all week...

[virgogal]

8. It took me a few seconds,but I get it. Very funny !

[Liberal_in_LA]

9. lol

[Shrike47]

13. LOL! Lived it, love it.

[Sheldon Cooper]

16. Hahahaha!

That's hilarious.

[Control-Z]

19. "Hear the dedate on second hand ignorance

on the next, "In the Know"!!'

That was hysterical!

I have a teen at home who appears to me to be worse than the one in the video. That one at least changed positions. Mine stays in the same position on the couch for what seems like days at a time. Lol.

[Initech]

20. I've often heard this cited as how the zombie apocalypse starts.

[Enrique]

22. pause at 1:13

the quote at the bottom of the newsletter

[TeeYiYi]

48. !

TYY

[trumad]

23. F'ing funny as hell.

[Terra Alta]

24. I heard it as "youth-anasia"

describes several teenagers I know. It's like they're physically attached to their mobile devices, and taking them away would be like amputating a limb.

[MinneapolisMatt]

25. I know plenty of adults like this.

[patrice]

34. Me too, except it's the tv, which is maybe Worse, not texting.

[patrice]

37. Don't forget, the story ended with a leader about kids being exposed to 2nd-hand ignorance in their

homes.

[snooper2]

29. Hey, the reporters that work there do a better job than CNN and Faux!

[Brickbat]

31. Read it again...

We'll wait.

[blogslut]

33. duuude. come on...

[Terra Alta]

35. You do realize this is The Onion right?

It's satire.. it's not supposed to be taken literally

[JNelson6563]

36. You get that it's The Onion, right?

Satire.

[TwilightGardener]

38. OMG!

[longship]

40. Oopsy! No Onion link to guide me.

My very bad. Just goes to show how bad medical and science reportage is these days that I would fall for this.

Self-deleted post.

My bad... Very bad!!!

[sakabatou]

39. Dear Onion, you're awesome.

[progressoid]

41. Love the X-Ray.

[KamaAina]

42. BIG sigh of relief for The Onion.

It might not actually happen here, but I can think of places like the Netherlands where it might.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

47. It's a sad and horrific syndrome as many parents can attest to.

The teenage affliction has caused many a parent to lose their beloved child to this brain eating malady. I speak from first hand experience, luckily for me I found removing the phone from her hand eased the symptoms enough to permit some brain activity. At least enough to whine and stomp about the house once again.

[slackmaster]

49. Thanks DU. This post made my day.

[SunSeeker]

51. ROFLMAO

[xchrom]

55. !

[tomm2thumbs]

56. '...are you, for real, killing me right now?'... bwahahahahahah

omg, that had me rolling

[Jennicut]

57. Was this posted to scare me?

I have an 8 year old...13 is only a few years away!!!

Seriously, I love the Onion.

[PoliticAverse]

58. At least she didn't have 'creaky voice'...

http://www.slate.com/articles/podcasts/lexicon_valley/2013/01/lexicon_valley_on_creaky_voice_or_vocal_fry_in_young_american_women.html

[Janecita]

63. It's from The Onion

If you guys check out literallyunbelievable, you are going to see a lot of people that think that it is real.

[tallahasseedem]

65. As a mother to an almost 13 year old girl...

this made me LMAO!

[markpkessinger]

66. Sadly, sometimes it's the only way [sigh]

[Kurovski]

67. I can't stop crying.