"Shoot me if I ever have 7 kids"

[HockeyMom]

that was the comment of a 14 year old girl I met who had 6 younger siblings. Let me explain. MR. and MRS. G were married. They both only had HS diplomas. They had children ranging in age from 9 months to 16 years old. Mr. G had a full time job as a laborer. Mrs. G had a part-time job caring for the disabled. Neither made much more than than minimum wage. They got food stamps, lived in Section 8 housing, and their school aged children got free breakfasts and lunches. WORKING POOR, with wedding rings on their fingers.

Mrs. G. worked part time hours so her older children would be home from school to care for the younger ones. Most of the child care, and meal preparation, fell to her older daughter. Now, we have heard from the Duggar kids who say they all pitch in. Yeah, right. When I spoke to Mrs. G's daughter, you could hear the bitterness between her words. She was FORCED to be a MOTHER to her younger sibilings, and she resented it. She wanted to be a TEENAGER, not an ADULT woman with a brood of children. I never spoke to her older brother, but I would imagine he probably felt the same.

My husband's grandfather and great-uncle were both put in separate orphanages by their MARRIED parents because they could not afford to care for them. That was only TWO kids. My husband's Aunt raised her younger sister when their Mom died and Daddy took off. Was Auntie happy about this? Hell no, because she raised her sister (2 years old) from the time she was a teenager through her newlywed years. Is THIS what this country is going back to? Do these MORONS think that the only poor people in this country are those WELFARE MOTHERS having baby after baby without a HUSBAND? Well, I can give you examples of today and the past where they were married and the familes were still dirt poor.

These STUPID Republicans, like the 7 kid Romneys and Santorums, are totally CLUESS what life is really like for these families, past and PRESENT. The "liberal" media likes to show the 19 and counting Duggars and the Kate and 8's, but are they the average large poor familes? Hell, no.

[russspeakeasy]

1. Well written. Thanks.

[HockeyMom]

2. I should add that, Aunt Millie

was the only woman I have ever know to have an abortion. She was in her 40s and a grandmother at the time. Uncle Bob had cancer and subsequently only lived 8 years afterward. In posting this, I can see ever more why she did not want to raise a child in her old age, alone. She had already done so with her sister in her youth. To do so again, even her with own child and her husband dying of cancer, would have been too much. Try walking in somebody elses shoes, as they say. This happened in the 1940s and Aunt Millie had an illegal abortion.

Is this what this country wants to go back to?

[patrice]

3. Service is a good thing. Too much, developmentally inappropriate, service is NOT a good thing.

IMO, this is one of the great mistakes perpetuated by the "Great Generation". Their "self sacrifices" had a price; for many of them that price, though they bore it and put the socially acceptable persona on it, had seriously DAMAGING consequences and yet, very few of them are honest about their own bitterness and, instead, perpetuate the same mistakes by requiring that the next generation(s) prove to them that their sacrifices were worth it by repeating the model and its attendant lies. The same dishonesty just keeps getting communicated from one generation to the next, until someone draws a line.

There is much to be discovered in caring for others; there is also much for some to lose. It is a good thing for each person to honestly decide on an ongoing basis which s/he is.

[REP]

13. Actually, many of those are from the Silent Generation (1925 -1945)

Brokaw's made up a generation for his book.

[patrice]

17. Thanks for the catch! I didn't know.

[REP]

18. I have Silent Generation parents and Lost Generation grandparents

Yet I'm GenX (or one of the very last Boomers - born 5 days before the start of 1965)!

[SharonAnn]

19. I'm a pre-Boomer. Born 4 months before 1946.

I always said marketing research people should just follow me and watch what I was doing because I, and my peers, were the "leading edge" of the official Baby Boomers.

We were always the first ones into various activities, music, dancing, clothing, foreign cars, etc.

[HockeyMom]

4. I often think of Mara G

I hope she has the conviction and will power to stand her ground as she said, "not let a boy touch me", go to college, make a good living, and be able to support myself". She certainly has my thoughts and prayers.

[alphafemale]

5. "I never spoke to her older brother, but I would imagine he probably felt the same."

It would be my guess that he is not expected to pitch in at all around the house. Or even clean up after himself.

[appleannie1]

6. I raised 7 kids. I did not work until they were all in school. The only time we got

food stamps was when my husband was laid off for 3 years when Reagan was president. He was a machinist so we were not rich by any means. But I made all our clothes and cooked inexpensive but healthy meals. All the kids had chores and therefore learned good work ethics. All are successful today. Was it easy to raise that many? NO. Was it worth the work? Yes. And today they are all close and reunions are a blast.

[HockeyMom]

8. Your husband had a TRADE

Did he make $11/hour? My IT's husband's job was offshored twice. We only had 2 kids and were getting food from a church pantry during that time. If you ask my husband, he has told many a kid forget college, learn a TRADE. As my pumbler nephew says, he has never been out of work a day in 40 years. "You can't offshore somebody's flooding bathroom to India". If you have a trade, you can earn a living wage. Mr. G didn't have that.

In the state where I used to live, they had a program for welfare mothers to educate them to earn a living. College? No, they sent them to school to learn blue collar trades: plumbers, electricians, mechanics, etc.

[REP]

14. It worked for you, but I doubt you'll change Ms G's mind

[starroute]

7. My grandmother had to help care for 6 younger siblings and always resented it

On the other hand, she over-indulged my mother and aunts something fierce in reaction. Both my aunts turned out spoiled and self-centered as a result -- my mother not so much, but even she had a touch of it.

Somewhere there's got to be a happy medium.

[kctim]

9. To bad her mother and father didn't feel the same way

before she had 7 kids they knew they couldn't afford.

[Warpy]

10. One family of cousins produced 10 of them

The parents were Catholic, of course, true believers.

The fertility rate has dropped like a rock. One daughter even went so far to insist her hubby present her with a vasectomy instead of a ring (he didn't want kids, either). A son married a woman 20 years his senior. Others married late, in their late 30s and 40s. I think there are two children among them.

The older kids, especially the girls, got pressed into being nannies. The younger kids really never got all the affection they needed, there were just too many other kids clamoring for attention.

And this was a family that had enough money to feed them all.

I fully expect to see all those Quiverful nuts like the Duggars pine for all the grandchildren they're not going to have. Their daughters are not going to want to become brood mares and their sons are going to hard pressed to find women who do.

And preaching this "crank out a baby every year, it's gawd's will and gawd will provide" is downright criminal. Gawd does NOT provide. It's why so many children all over the world are still dying before the age of five.

[SharonAnn]

20. As the oldest of 8, with 65 first cousins, I'm from a fertile Catholic family.

However, my generation has far, far fewer children. And for one of us to have more than 4 grandchildren is quite unusual, one of sets of grandparents had 50 grandchildren.

Thank God for the pill and people making their own decisions about birth control. Many of my relatives are practicing Catholics, but they have much smaller families. Go figure!

[Gregorian]

11. What the hell is wrong with humans? Can't they see there are too many already?

Don't answer that. I already know. A bunch of idiots. I can't express my anger over this subject. Fools.

[Lunacee2012]

15. If it makes you feel better

I'm never having kids, I'd rather just adopt.

[Gregorian]

22. I've always had a great respect for those who adopt. On many levels.

And I shouldn't have posted what I did. It was off topic, and resentful.

However, they're making life very very difficult. They being almost everyone. I don't have a desire, so I shouldn't be critical. I imagine if I did want to have kids I'd not understand those who love open fields without subdivisions, and roads without traffic jams, and places without car noise. But I'm being critical again.

[RC]

16. But, but, but babies are a blessing, don'tcha know?

Never mind we are crowding out most other life forms for our food and living space.

[hamsterjill]

12. Thank you for restoring my belief in common sense!!!

Great post! And so very, very true - every word of it.

Thank you for reaffirming that common sense still exists. Too often, even on DU, I see posts defending the Duggars and their megabirthing. Children are not meant to have to raise their siblings. Each child needs his or her own time to be a child. It is irresponsible for them to have more children than mom and dad can take care of responsibly.

[Cleita]

21. I wonder if Mrs. G had access to all the parent planning she needed

and with no interference from state, husband and family, if she would have had seven children. Statistics point to the fact that when women are in charge of their fertility and have access to birth control and abortion, they tend to have only the number of children they can care for both physically and economically.