Lance Armstrong’s Biggest Crime Was Being A Huge Asshole

[Logical]

By now, you know that Lance Armstrong will be giving a two-and-a-half-hour confession to Oprah Winfrey on Thursday and Friday nights (Two nights? Jesus Christ, Shogun wasn't that long). No one who watches this thing will be there to hear Armstrong admit to doping. We all knew that ages ago. The reason people are gonna watch (and they will) is to see if, for once, Lance Armstrong shows some remorse, some semblance of regret for all the people he dicked over. They want to know... Hey, is that guy still a fucking asshole?

Between last week's Hall of Fame shutout and Armstrong's coming public crucifixion, we're getting a clinic in how much we Americans like to see assholes get exactly what's coming to them. Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Mark McGwire were all supposedly shut out of the Hall because they were cheaters. But I promise you that most voters kept those guys out of the Hall because they LIKED the idea of keeping them out of the Hall, because all three of those men are surly pricks (McGwire less so, but was known for being prickly in his playing days). Bonds and Clemens are two of the greatest baseball players of all time. But seriously, who wants to give THOSE ASSSHOLES the satisfaction? Fuck that. Let's keep them out of the Hall. Matter of fact, let's hold expensive Congressional hearings, indict them for perjury and see if we can jail them. Why? Because fuck them, that's why. Oh, and we care about the children and whatnot.

More at: http://deadspin.com/5976386/lance-armstrongs-biggest-crime-was-being-a-huge-asshole