This is what 'pwned' looks like...

[WillParkinson]

I thought it was too great not to share.

[limpyhobbler]

1. mixed fabrics?!

Oh crap I just realized I'm wearing a 50% polyester blend!!!

I need to go to confession.

[Iggo]

11. Confession schmonfession.

Off with your head!

[Bandit]

13. Stoned...You need to be stoned...

[Dem_in_Nebr.]

17. As in 420??

OK he / she sez as they light up their toques!







(Couldn't resist!)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Most excellent, my dear WillParkinson!

PWND is right!

[Speck Tater]

3. Here's another old favorite

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1 . The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21 . In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

[TheWraith]

7. Big parts of that are lifted from an episode of The West Wing.

Second season, "The Midterms." Addressing a talk radio reception, President Bartlett runs into a Dr. Laura analog and ends up going off on her, mentioning a bunch of the points included in there.

On edit: found it.

[JHB]

9. Never gets old, though...

...there's always a new crop of zealots to keep it fresh.

[Speck Tater]

10. There's also the claim that West Wing stole it from the original letter.

Chicken and egg. Which came first? We may never know.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

12. not that it matters...

but I recall reading something of this flavor before there was ever a The West Wing television show...

still good stuff.

sP

[pokerfan]

21. According to Snopes

The open letter was first.

October 2000 was not Dr. Laura's month. A few weeks after she issued her apology, a version of the "Letter to Dr. Laura" was incorporated into the 18 October episode of the political television drama The West Wing. In "The Midterms," President Bartlet used his own detailed knowledge of the Bible to make a Schlessinger-esque character named Jenna Jacobs look ridiculous.

Just as the Internet piece gave the West Wing writers fodder for a memorable scene, so did the exposure on a popular television show boost the online circulation of the "Letter to Dr. Laura." Similarly, the 2004 brouhaha over gay marriage sparked a renewal of this e-missive, causing it to once again be flung from inbox to inbox.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

[Speck Tater]

22. Thanks. I wondered about that, but think of looking at snopen.

I thought they were just urban myths.

[pokerfan]

23. I remember seeing in on the Internet first

because when that episode aired I remember thinking that Sorkin must be reading the same stuff I read.

[quinnox]

4. this allows me an opportunity

to try out a new smilie.

[url=http://www.cool-smileys.com/smiley-that-says-owned][img][/img][/url]

[Voice for Peace]

5. Round haircuts?

[eppur_se_muova]

16. Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

Leviticus 19:27

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
- 1769 Oxford King James Bible 'Authorized Version

This is why Orthodox Jews have the long sideburns ... obviously, God *really* cares about the little details. Maybe a little obsessive, frankly.

[OnlinePoker]

19. Moe from the 3 Stooges would be toast. n/t

[Faux pas]

6. EXCELLENT! Thank you for sharing.

[Delphinus]

8. I might

just have to save that and use it, over and over and over again. Thank you!

[WillParkinson]

14. That's what I did...

And have used it gently. (chuckle)

[eyewall]

15. And it stoned me to my soul

Stoned me just like going home
And it stoned me.

This is the "New covenant".

[WillyT]

18. HUGE K & R !!!

[upi402]

20. :facepalm:

ROUND HAIRCUTS!!!!