General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI seem to be missing something in this "Soap actor euthanizes pet then commits suicide" story.
1). He lived in a condo with a "no pit bull" policy. Whether that's "right" or "wrong," ANY of us who have lived in townhomes / condos know the homeowners association rules are LAW, the assembled members are often no better than a witches coven, and if you try to fuck with their rules, they will fuck you back...relentlessly...and then you will be looking for a new home.
2). I don't know if the policy was written before or during his tenancy there. If it was in place when he moved in and he got a pit bull anyway and then "routinely complained," that's his problem.
3). He didn't have to euthanize the dog. He could have asked friends to take it until he found a new, put bull-friendly home, or he could have worked to find a new adopted home.
4). He also didn't have to kill himself. There are obviously some deeper issues here, but as much as I generally loathe "homeowners associations," I think they're right on this one...they'e not responsible for this man taking his life or euthenizing his pet.
Condo Board Member
Accepts NO Responsibility
http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/29/soap-actor-dog-suicide/#.TyV1Z8VSSNQ
A member of the condo board that Nick Santino said pressured him to euthanize his pit-bull -- a decision that drove him to suicide -- says the condo board is NOT responsible for his death.
Board member Marilyn Fireman says she is sorry that Santino is dead, but says it has nothing to do with the building's no-pet policy. She tells the NY Post, "You just assumed that [his suicide] was a result of a boards decision." Fireman did concede Santino routinely complained about the buildings anti-dog policies.
Santino's sister tells the paper the family is holding off on funeral arrangements until the dead dog's ashes are brought home ... saying, "They'll be buried together."
Santino had his beloved and healthy pit-bull Rocco put to sleep on Tuesday, Santino's 47th birthday. A few hours later, he overdosed on pills.
warrior1
(12,325 posts)No he didn't have to put down his dog, but apparently living with out the dog was enough to push him over. It's sad all the way around.
hlthe2b
(101,730 posts)your "rational" dissection. The combination of these emotions may well have precluded any ability to think more clearly about options.
Please tread lightly on this. For anyone who has had to euthanize a pet--even those suffering terminal disease, the kindness of easing their suffering is often met with some level of guilt as well. And for those who have ever had to deal with suicide among their friends or family--there is very little benefit of "rational" argument and "monday morning quarterbacking."
It is a tragedy that both human and animal did not get some help to resolve this situation. Truly tragic.
Amerigo Vespucci
(30,885 posts)And I've had to euthanize two pets due to age-related illnesses that were killing them, so I know.
I'm not trying to make light of the situation or judge the man for what he did. And you're right, maybe it all comes down to one thing...he didn't seek help.
astonamous
(1,336 posts)Everyone is making this out to be only about the dog issue, but I think it may have been more about the "down and out" part.
Either way, sounds to me that he planned this in advance. Kind of a murder suicide thing.
Sad.
bullwinkle428
(20,627 posts)pet, insist that you want that pet put to death, and the vet just saying "oak-a-ley doak-a-ely!" a la Ned Flanders.
As a pet owner, I've personally spent TONS of time thinking of a "Plan B" that would have to be implemented if a situation developed where I came down with a terminal illness of some sort, and would no longer be able to care for my pets.
hlthe2b
(101,730 posts)many shelters will--by unfortunate necessity.
Mz Pip
(27,404 posts)For whatever reason this poor guy made all the wrong choices and untimately couldn't live with them. Sad all the way around.
WingDinger
(3,690 posts)They had several interpretations of each rule.
Further, theyclaimed outright, that they didnt want renters living there. So, they would paper the owners for their renters. Trying to turn them against the renter.
Sometimes, they would not help me or the owner to know how to comply. Saying simply, read the tome. Fucking fascist busybodies! I got a few of them in hot water.
hlthe2b
(101,730 posts)and would do anything possible to try to make trouble for those with dogs. While they were the extreme minority, sometimes it only takes one, when they are exceedingly vocal and determined. Sadly, too, those who most dislike dogs often misunderstand them the most--know nothing about normal dog behavior, so that they misinterpret every thing. I once had to testify on behalf of a neighbor with a six month old Golden Retriever pup experiencing normal "mouthing and teething" behavior. This one particular dog opponent made accusations that the dog was aggressively trying to bite her!
...sigh...
Amerigo Vespucci
(30,885 posts)1). Neighbor next door had "earthshaker" speakers and liked to listen to Euro Disco music at full volume with full bass (WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP)
2). Went next door, spoke with her nicely about it, she apologized, adjusted the bass. That lasted for a week.
3). One week later: WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP
4). Went next door again, said "You are shaking the whole house," she yelled at me with her girlfriend hiding behind her and said "I'M ON IT."
5). She complained about me to the Homeowners Association
6). Her landlord called me and said "If there is a problem with the noise again please call me"
7). Two days later: WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP
8). Called her landlord.
9). Landlord called the Homeowners Association and complained about me
10). Homeowners association and neighbor's landlord pressured my landlord
11). One year after moving in, my landlord asked me to move out
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)I don't suppose you'd want to reframe that analogy would you? My current roomie is one of the heads of a witches coven and he's a remarkably sweet guy, as are the members of his coven.
And I'd just like to give a shout-out to my condo association, who is working very, very hard to get a drug-dealing, sex offender out of one of the townhome's in our community. Yeah, it's fun to complain about having to follow the by-laws and such but they sometimes do good work... like my roomie's witches coven.
As far as the situation originally posted about? There are tons of pit-bull rescue associations out there. He could of found his dog a good home but I agree with your assessment that there were deeper issues going on here.
hlthe2b
(101,730 posts)bad. While, I can understand the offense taken about the "coven" comment, why so defensive about HOAs? There ARE some real bad actors out there and associations that grossly abuse their authority. That hardly means there are not good ones as well.
But, when you buy into these situations, you have no way of predicting how the cycles of those chosen to serve may play out. It is something to consider. And yes, tenants are often treated very poorly and some "owners" are likewise treated more equitably than others. I observed that with mine, which is why I left my own involvement on the board and sold my place a few months later. (Only after first demanding a private audit of finances--the first in decades-- and which showed widespread financial mismanagement (or fraud, depending on how charitable one wants to be regarding incompetence).
Amerigo Vespucci
(30,885 posts)I lived in a townhome for 11 years and the HOA was STRICT and RIGID but not bad. The place was meticulously maintained and they really looked after the homeowners.
The place I described upthread was a different story. I found out after I moved that there was a drug dealer living there, dealing out of his home, but EVERY resident seemed to have the same look in their eyes (hence the "witches coven" reference, stemming from the many witches covens depicted in the classic British Hammer horror films, not meant to reflect anything other than that).
I later moved to a different townhome and found out it had the SAME HOA as the place I'd been thrown out of. One time I found out that the BIG cockroaches (don't know if they were Japanese / Mexican) were getting IN The house on a pretty regular basis). Told my landlord, they brought it up at the HOA meeting, the decision was to do nothing about it. Also, the peoperty had a NARROW little driveway that ran through the garages and the kids who lived there would RIP back and forth on bikes and scooters without looking. It was the resident's responsibility to not hit them with their cars. These kids were little bastards, I'm sorry...I know how parents like to defend their kids, no matter what they do, but rotten trees produce rotten fruit.
aquart
(69,014 posts)One of which will be gone in a year.
Moosepoop
(1,917 posts)"A few episodes," it says.
http://www.zimbio.com/Nick+Santino/articles/Rlm9Qucdoly/Nick+Santino+Picture+and+Bio
This part got to me:
meaculpa2011
(918 posts)in a co-op or condo, you agree to abide by their rules. That's why I would never live in one. It's a big world full of nice places to live.
With that said, this story has nothing to do with dogs or condo boards.
This poor man felt that the only cure for his pain was to take his own life.
I hope he's found peace.
niyad
(112,435 posts)however, I find this line offensive:
"the assembled members are often no better than a witches coven,"
in case you are unaware, that is an insult to every practicing witch out there, including the many on this board.
Amerigo Vespucci
(30,885 posts)It wasn't my attention to offend, so apologies if I did.
I assume you (and the others who have commented on this) are equally aggressive when it comes to voicing your offense to the Christian-bashing threads that appear on DU. I'm encouraged by that and look forward to your comments in those threads in the future. There are, after all many Christians in the world...including the many on this board.
Hassin Bin Sober
(26,272 posts).... "but the OTHER side does it too!!!!"
niyad
(112,435 posts)poor choice of words.
niyad
(112,435 posts)vituperative, hateful, demonizing behaviour shown by the many of the xian reich.
meaculpa2011
(918 posts)I work with struggling actors all the time, casting them for commercials and industrial films. I watched a movie last night and recognized a young woman I had hired for a training video twelve years ago. She had third billing.
Bravo!
Warpy
(110,912 posts)He had a healthy dog put down because he was planning to kill himself, not the opposite.
blogslut
(37,955 posts)...completely unconfirmed but gathered from his IMDB bio, some newspaper article I read last night and TMZ...
There is a claim that Mr. Santino was a participant in search-and-rescue efforts in the aftermath of 9-11. The dog was a rescue dog that he adopted from a shelter. If, Mr. Santino was part of that effort and the dog was also part of the 9-11 search/rescue, I would imagine their bond was way deep.
Another thing I read was that the hostility aimed at the dog, Rocco, by the tenants and condo board was affecting the animal and causing it to become aggressive.
All totally unconfirmed. Just stuff I read. Just adding to the discussion.