Straight or gay, the most important rule in public men's rooms never changes

[1-Old-Man]

Incoming traffic has the right of way.

[MineralMan]

1. Indeed. Doors that open inward for toilets

are a great danger to those going out, since the people coming may be in something of a hurry. OW!

[Permanut]

2. Unless it's a pay toilet..

then it's the guy with the dime.


Or maybe not. I haven't seen a pay toilet for a long time.

[Common Sense Party]

3. I thought the most important rule was...

If there are three urinals, and someone is at the urinal on the right but the other two are open, DON'T go to the one in the middle. Go to the one on the end.

That's like getting on the elevator, and there's only one person on, and you go stand directly next to that person.

Give 'em some space.

[zbdent]

6. DO NOT ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION WHILST URINATING ...

Oddly enough, just after I started working at my new place of employment, a few long-term employees happened to break that rule ...

It was ... odd ...

Had to explain this to Mrs. ZBDent ...

[cprompt]

11. ^ this

Is undoubtedly the most important rule to mantiquette

[ProdigalJunkMail]

13. for your edification :

n/t

[Common Sense Party]

22. LOL!

That's hilarious.

Why not #5?

[TeeYiYi]

25. That was great. At 2:16...

...there's someone with longish hair and wearing a dress using urinal #4.

TYY

[Historic NY]

27. At 2:15 things really get out of whack...........

and poor billy is really going to be confused.

[BainsBane]

33. Just two questions

1) What was a woman doing at urinal 4? 2) What happened to Billy's head?

[Honeycombe8]

19. I thought it was....don't look over and down. nt

[MineralMan]

4. I'm grateful that airports have pretty much

done away with doors on their toilet entrances. I hate using airplane toilets, and often have an fairly urgent need to find a toilet after deplaning.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. "The Buffer Urinal" is Rule #1.

[RedCappedBandit]

8. Yes

[ChisolmTrailDem]

9. An extensive examination of the buffer urinal rule:

Urinal protocol vulnerability
Posted on September 2, 2009

When a guy goes into the bathroom, which urinal does he pick? Most guys are familiar with the International Choice of Urinal Protocol. It’s discussed at length elsewhere, but the basic premise is that the first guy picks an end urinal, and every subsequent guy chooses the urinal which puts him furthest from anyone else peeing. At least one buffer urinal is required between any two guys or Awkwardness ensues.

Let’s take a look at the efficiency of this protocol at slotting everyone into acceptable urinals. For some numbers of urinals, this protocol leads to efficient placement. If there are five urinals, they fill up like this:

http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/

[Snotcicles]

10. Speaking of Urinal protocol.

Some find it rude if one multi-tasks when there are fewer then five occupants.
Thats when you fart while peeing.

[LittleBlue]

16. Yes. Friendly fire must be avoided at all costs

and also the "no chat" rule. These are sacred urinal codes.

[talkingmime]

7. That wasn't the one that came to mind initially, but okay.

[marmar]

12. What's it got to do with straight or gay?

nt

[Cleita]

14. I'm wondering too.

It seems it has more to do with indoor or outdoor biological plumbing.

[loli phabay]

17. as the rules are generally different regarding gay and straight guys, but this one is universal

[Prism]

21. Not that different

In gay bars, the buffer rule is still generally observed.

[Agschmid]

28. Unless you are at Splash! in NYC... then all rules go out the ... oh wait. n/t

[ProdigalJunkMail]

15. this is how i handle it : (an oldie but a goodie)

sP

[Gidney N Cloyd]

18. LOL!!

Might be an oldie but I've never seen it.

[Agschmid]

29. Awesome... just don't shake more than 3 times! n/t

[Bake]

20. The Buffer Urinal is of course Rule #1.

And along with "don't look over and down," I would add:

DON'T BE TALKING ON YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE WHILE DOING YOUR BUSINESS! Don't answer it if it rings. End your call before going in. IT CAN WAIT.



Bake

[Ligyron]

23. Yeah, don't look over and down, unless some poor bastard drops his phone in the urinal

the tell-tale "clack" and subsequent profanity are hard to ignore.

[Initech]

24. I see people talking on their phone all the time using the stalls! Stop it!!

Texting is one thing but shit, bathrooms are off limits with those damn hands free devices!

[Nye Bevan]

26. I thought it was "eyes forward". (nt)

[mokawanis]

30. Eyes forward is exactly right

The wall in front of your face is fascinating. Stare at it until your business is done. If you're lucky, someone wrote something interesting or funny on the wall above the urinal.

[MiddleFingerMom]

31. The older I get and the more diuretics I take, the more likely I am to knock you the fuck over...

.
.
.
... if you're standing in between me and the nearest bathroom -- no matter how near or far it is
from our location.
.
.
.
You all have been given fair warning.
.
.
.