I renounced my evil liberal ways after reading this...

[zeos3]

[A HERETIC I AM]

1. "And the Marine was elected Homecoming Queen." n/t

[arely staircase]

2. not sure which is funnier

the eagle's name or god's flat tax.

[zeos3]

5. I was hooked from the first sentence.

"He smirked quite Jewishly..." was also a nice touch.

[sufrommich]

3. That's gotta be someone from Fark

trolling the internets.

[zeos3]

16. Found it on Reddit. It made me laugh.

[MindPilot]

4. you had me at 1500 tours of duty...

That story is as much proof of the superiority of god-fearing machismo and superficially-held Christian values as the one about the girl who proves Christianity by demonstrating that the atheist can't explain why sheep, cows, produce different poop when they all eat grass. Yeah that Grunt sure put that nazi socialist commie professor in his place!

GOD BLESS THE MOTHAFUCKN' USA!!!11!

[zeos3]

6. It's getting harder to satirize theese things.

[Initech]

7. Wow. Conservatives have no sense of humor.

Last edited Fri Mar 15, 2013, 08:43 PM - Edit history (1)

Or is this satire for what passes for conservative humor? If it's the latter it's a win.

[zeos3]

30. This is a satire of the ridiculous stories...

that pop up on facebook or in email from time to time. See post #25 for a good example.

[Initech]

31. Yeah it did kind of sound like satire. I guess the line gets blurred on a daily basis.

[grntuscarora]

8. I like the part about

how, according to evolution and natural selection, the rock is supposed to turn into an animal if you give it enough time. I missed that part in science class.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

13. But it's true. Don't you remember Pet Rocks from the 70's? Where do you think they came from?

.

[baldguy]

9. C'mon - tell us how many "Likes" you've got on Facebook for this?

And how many have forwarded it on? Without irony, I mean.

[zeos3]

17. I wish I thought of it.

I found it on Reddit and thought it would get some laughs over here.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

10. Damn!! I'm sitting on a bus and need a bathroom before I pee myself. This is

awesome. What is actually sad is that I actually received the original chain email this is based on and it's not that different.

[Aerows]

12. What's the original chain letter?

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

14. I'm gonna try to find it. I got it from my cousin a few years back. Basically a marine

enrolled in class with with an elitist liberal professor who insults Jesus or some shit. Then the marine sets him straight. It's hilarious and like I said this is only slightly exaggerated (ok maybe more than a little but not by much).

[zeos3]

18. I'm curious to see the original as well.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

25. Found it. It's slightly different from the one I remember but the concept's the same:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091102062246AA4jBAH


Resolved Question
Show me another »
Atheist vs. U.S. Marine? What do you think of the outcome?
If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-****** him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'

The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me.'

The classroom erupted in cheers!

3 years ago
Report Abuse

Additional Details
This is an email someone sent me. I wanted opinions about the email itself. I didn't know anyone would be so lame as to personally attack me.

[zeos3]

27. Ahhh, melodramatic propaganda at its finest.

I assume you start out in the bush leagues for becoming a right wing hack, by writing many of these. Those that show talent move on to calling in liberal radio shows and trolling websites.

I can't tell you how much it annoys me that such obvious button pushing works on so many people.

Thanks for the reply.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

26. Here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091102062246AA4jBAH

Resolved Question
Show me another »
Atheist vs. U.S. Marine? What do you think of the outcome?
If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-****** him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'

The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me.'

The classroom erupted in cheers!

3 years ago
Report Abuse

Additional Details
This is an email someone sent me. I wanted opinions about the email itself. I didn't know anyone would be so lame as to personally attack me.

[Aerows]

34. You're right!

The OP isn't all that much different than this one. RW nutjobs. sigh.

[onethatcares]

11. can I

post this elsewhere? I think it's funnier than anything and some other folks might just like it as well

[zeos3]

19. By all means, go right ahead.

I'm not sure who created it to give credit. I found it on Reddit.

[kudzu22]

15. I want the two minutes back it took to read that

[SomethingFishy]

20. WTF does "Smirked Quite Jewishly" mean?

Apparently Rocks did evolve, into the person that thought this was funny.

[cbrer]

21. Laugh? Or be horrified? nt

[csziggy]

22. The Navy Seal is off with his "5,000 years" claim

Archbishop Ussher calculated the origin of the earth as 23 October 4004 BC. So the earth is closer to 6,000 years old than 5,000.

Typical ignorant fundamentalist Christian can't even get his own theology right!

[Hayabusa]

23. It's funny that I think the most nonsensical thing is...

the soldier in the class about Karl Marx... Funny stuff.

[edbermac]

24. A liberal muslim homosexual Marxist who smirks Jewishly?

Covers all the bases, doesn't it?

[Skittles]

28. sounds like something from the Onion

[Oldfolkie]

29. This is similar to a story circulating at SMU in 1954.

I heard a variation on this nonsense, or actually a forerunner, back in 1954 when I was a freshman at Southern Methodist. Seems a Korean War vet with a limp from a wound had a class at the north end of the campus. His next class was at the other end of campus in a pre-fab or quonset. Only ten minutes between classes.
So the vet was always late to the second class.
The prissy - they used words like that then - teacher, no doubt a Democrat Jew, finally lost it after the Vet was late the 6th or 7th time. Interrupted the lecture. The teacher announced that in future he was locking the door after starting bell.
The next class day the Vet found the door locked. He backed up, took a little hop and skip and double drop-kicked the door down, landing on it in a standing position in the class center aisle. He pointed to the Prof and exclaimed:
Well, the reader can write it himself from here. Get in the part about a year and a half in the Korean mud,and the charge up Pork Chop Hill, and etc yadda yadda and he ISN'T taking any crap from a four eyed etc etc yadda yadda.
These Urban Legends never die. They just fester and change.

[zeos3]

32. Thanks for that.

I know the propaganda machine has always been around, but I didn't realize these emotionally charged apocryphal stories were a part of it back then too.

[arely staircase]

33. wow that is really interesting

someone could probabaly get a good masters thesis in something (anthropology?) studying these things. what do you call these? i know they are propaganda but are they fables?