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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCold Dead Hand with Lyrics
Last edited Wed Mar 27, 2013, 08:34 AM - Edit history (1)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0433b30576/cold-dead-hand-with-jim-carrey?playlist=featured_videosVideo no longer on youtube
But go to the link and watch Jim Carrey's hilariuos ode to Charlton Heston
Cold Dead Hand
Some folks ride like the wind
With the whispering pines to guide them
And the burning light inside them
Keeps them warm in the snow
Others fear the sounds they hear
Make bandito's out of mole-hills
Fill their hearts with porcupine quills
Theyre dead and buried long before they go
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldnt take him up to heaven like he planned
Cause they couldnt pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim youre trying to prove your dick is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Youre a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger just to fill
Your cold dead hand
Imagine if the lord were here
And he knew what youve been thinkin
Would his sacred heart be sinkin
Into the canyon of dismay
And on the ones who sell the guns
Hed sick the vultures and coyotes
Only the devils true devotees
Could profiteer from pain and fear
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldnt take him up to heaven like he planned
Cause they couldnt pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim youre trying to prove your junk is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Youre a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger with a hair-pin trigger
You dont want to get caught with your trousers down
When the psycho killer comes around
So you make your home like a thunderdome
And youre always packin everywhere you roam
But the psychos win no matter what you do
Cause theyre gonna buy way more guns than you
And while youre stumbling out of bed
They put five rounds in the back of your head
Or you get depressed cause the money runs out
Then you put your own shotgun in your mouth
And your kids walk in and they find you there
Like a headless stump in your underwear
And they move the gun and it kills them too
And your wife just doesnt know what to do
But she takes a hand grenade from her shoe
And she pulls the pin...
And its all on you
And your cold dead hand
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Cold Dead Hand with Lyrics (Original Post)
lame54
Mar 2013
OP
Junkdrawer
(27,993 posts)1. Thought it was "Makin’ banditos out of mole-hills"
lame54
(35,136 posts)2. After listening again...
you are right
but either line would work
Junkdrawer
(27,993 posts)3. Just trying to help. Love the video and posting the lyrics...
is a good thing.
Thanks for putting the lyrics up. I think "signal" vultures and coyotes should be "sic" v and c. At least that's what I hear.
lame54
(35,136 posts)7. thanks - fixed
ellisonz
(27,709 posts)6. Kick.
Botany
(70,289 posts)8. Wickedly on target w/ words and concept too
Carrey's piece also had Lincoln, Gandhi, and John Lennon all people
who wanted peace and were killed by guns.
Paladin
(28,202 posts)9. Kick. Masterful Satire.
Bonus points for the Sam Elliot segment.....
Piscatarian
(26 posts)10. Funny stuff!
Thanks for posting.