The DUzy Awards for the week of February 3rd, 2012

[The DUzy Awards]

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly collection of wit, sarcasm, snark, surprisingly-appropriate pictures, and hilarious photo-captions.

This week’s improvement: Being 12 hours late. Why is this an improvement? Because I say so, that’s why… Alternately, I’d have to give a long-winded explanation about why I’m exhausted and with a massive leg cramp. And there’s not a single lurid detail in the story, either!

Note to George Clooney: I saw you in “The Descendents” last weekend. Do you really run that way???


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ian David
[big] Bastrop, Texas pastor charged with animal cruelty over death of neighbor's cat[/big]
Posted on January 23, 2012 at 9:19 PM

Updated Tuesday, Jan 24 at 8:10 AM

BASTROP, Texas -- A Central Texas pastor is being accused of throwing a neighbor's cat off of a bridge.

Rick Bartlett, pastor of the Bastrop Christian Church, is facing animal cruelty charges. Bastrop Police Chief Michael Black said Bartlett admitted that he caught the cat, named Moody, in a trap on Sunday, Jan. 15. Bartlett told them that he was having a problem with feral cats in his garden.

Moody also told police that he had the cat in a cage in the back of his pick-up truck for three days and forgot about him until Tuesday, Jan. 17., when Bartlett brought the cat to police. An animal control officer noticed a name tag including the phone number of Moody’s owners, Sarah and Eddy Bell, on the cat's collar. The officer offered to take Moody back to his owners but police said Bartlett told them he’d take the cat back himself since they were his neighbors.

Later on the same day, a park visitor discovered Moody’s near lifeless body on the bank of the Colorado River, some 40-50 feet below a bridge.

[font color=#FF0000]Pic of cute orange-and-white domestic shorthair[/font]

More:
http://www.kvue.com/news/Bastrop-Pastor-charged-with-Cruelty-to-Animals-over-Neighbors-cat-death-137934273.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pinboy3niner [/font]
[big] 61. Shhhh! General Calico has ordered DefCon 3, I repeat, DefCon 3! [/big]
Operation Catnip has been moved up with the deployment of the 49th Feline Heavy Weapons Cattalion and the 76th Feline Freeranger Cattalion, supported by the 101st Hairball Artillery.

Top officials at the Catagon are confident that the objective will be taken and victoy will be ours!

(This is strictly TOP SECRET, so keep it under your cat!)

GD, Jan 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002230791


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by bigdarryl
[big] DAMN!!! look what Sarah Palin has said about the GOP establishment[/big]
My question is if she fells so concern about Newt being attacked why don't she just come out and say she's supporting him. http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150516734848435

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] leftyohiolib [/font]
[big] 5. what surprises me is that she didnt quit before she finished her sentence [/big]

Politics 2012, Jan 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12516231


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by pokerfan
[big] How many milliliters in a cup?[/big]
Pet peeve:

Traditional Japanese cup = 180 ml
Japanese cup = 200 ml
US customary cup = 237 ml
US "legal" cup = 240 ml
Metric cup = 250 ml
Imperial cup = 284 ml



[font color=#FF0000]Pic of measuring cup[/font]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] WCGreen [/font]
[big] 3. Lots[/big]

The Lounge, Jan 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101843181


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by JFN1
[big] So I'm Grabbing Some Cheese At The Grocery Store...[/big]
...for grilled cheese and tomato soup (yumm!) for dinner tonight. I'm in a rather sagacious mood, one of those moods in which many things strike me as funny, when normally, they probably would not - which usually leads to many, many bad jokes issuing from my freely flapping gums.

At the checkout I am cheerfully greeted by a middle-aged woman, who scans my few items and pleasantly reports the total. As I am digging through my pocket for change, I notice a "Vote Newt" button on her shirt, peeking out from behind her checker's vest/smock/whatever the hell it is. I hand over my bills and change and almost - almost - ask her if she plans to vote for Mittens - I had a whole routine worked out, along classic "Who's on first?" lines. But somehow, with truly heroic effort, I manage to restrain myself and say nothing.

I grab my bag 'o groceries, and as I turn to leave, the checker calls over my shoulder, "Have a blessed evening!"

Sigh.

The words echo through my skull, and for some reason I instantly think about Tebow's "blessed" football season, and the bible verse he had displayed as part of his uniform in Denver's last (losing) game of the season (ah, the hilarious irony...).

For the record - I am not against anyone having their religion. Really. I do, however, resent having someone else's religion jammed down my throat - I don't like being used in that way. It bugs me. A lot.

And given my mood (smart-ass meter off the scale), before I can muster the discipline to stop myself, I turn, smile broadly at the woman as I catch her eyes, and say, sweetly, "And Satan be with you," then turn, groceries in hand, and head out the door.

As I am leaving, the woman, in a voice decidedly not so pleasant now, loudly calls after me, "What did you say?" And then just as loudly and even more unpleasantly, I hear her ask someone else (I don't know who), "Did you hear what he just said to me?" I am trying so hard not to giggle out loud as I hit the parking lot. Almost made it, too...

I know...I know...and even if I regret the immaturity and lack of discipline which allowed it...man, that was freakin' fun...the look on her face...priceless...I know, I'm so bad...I wonder if she'll be praying for me tonight...

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] TahitiNut [/font]
[big] 26. "What aisle are they on?" [/big]
"Huh?"
(Louder) "What aisle are they on?"
"What?"
"Blessed days, damn it! What aisle are they on?"
"Huh?"
"Damned people! Always advertising but never in stock." (Leaves)

GD, Jan 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002232263


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Little Star
[big] How often do you visit your states group here at DU?...[/big]
How often do you contribute to it?

My states group is like a dead zone. You would think that the MA group would have a lot to say but we don't.

What can we all do to try livening up all of our state groups?

I just added mine to my subscriptions; don't know why I never thought to do that before! I also just posted in there for the first time and the place is so dead that it echoes!

How is your states group?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ellisonz [/font]
[big] 1. I've made it a mission to breathe life into my state forum. [/big]
My fellow Hawaii people seem to appreciate the effort. I just try and post one local news story a day. I also have a welcome thread, a photo thread, a music thread, and a travel questions thread.

Right now the rankings for number of post goes:

Texas
Wisconsin
Pennsylvania
California
Washington
Hawaii

We're in the top 6! And we only have 9 subscribers!

Also: I've claimed Nevada so we can have gambling - http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1064 - we were welcomed as liberators.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] kiva [/font]
[big] 29. My state forum has suffered a hostile takeover. [/big]
Apparently Hawaii now controls Nevada. I am willing to change "hostile takeover" to "friendly merger" if we get a beach.

H&M-D, Jan 8, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124037361


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]
[big] Just in case you missed it... [/big]
If you take a look at the bottom of posts on DU3, there is another link across on the left hand site from "Alert".

It works entirely differently from Alert. Instead of getting six people at random to decide whether to hide the post, the other link will send your comment directly to a single person who can decide to actually change the words in a post, or delete the post entirely.

Labeled as "Reply", this link will also post your comment so that any persons with an interest in the thread can also do the same thing.

I realize that some folks may not have noticed the "Reply" link, but if the "Alert" one hasn't been working out for you, then why not give it a try?

[font color=#FF0000]A DUzy for replies 1-39 inclusive! And YOU get a DUzy and YOU get a DUzy…[/font]

H&M-D, Jan 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124037073


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Denninmi
[big] I think it would be cool to do an all white vegetable garden.[/big]
I ordered just a few seeds this morning online, and the cart showed thumbnails of the selections -- everything was white, white corn, white radishes, white cauli. Seeing them all together, it struck me that it would be really cool to plant an all-white vegetable garden. Almost every crop I can think of has some variety that is white.

White corn, white carrots, white beets, white radishes, white peppers, white cucumbers, white squash, both summer and winter, white melons, white chard, white eggplant, white tomatoes, and so on and so forth....

Wouldn't that be fun? Interplanted with some nice white annuals like cosmos, cleome, euphorbia marginata, snapdragons, white marigolds, white sunflowers.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] OffWithTheirHeads [/font]
[big] 2. If you would like to see what an all white vegetable garden looks like [/big]
tune in to the next Republican debate.

Gardening, Jan 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1159497


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by RZM
[big] Is the Valentine's Day Hearts thing going to be part of DU3?[/big]
I hope so. Because I got a heart once.



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] 2. They will only be awarded by juries. [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Oh noes! We’re all screwn![/font]

H&M-D, Jan 30, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124038136


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by CaliforniaPeggy
[big] The Moderators had a big advantage over jurors.[/big]
They had what was called "institutional memory." They had records and remembered the various tempests that came along.

They knew about people's posting patterns. They had a wealth of information to help them decide if a member was a sock-puppet or whatever.

It's very different for jurors.

Discuss.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] scarletwoman [/font]
[big] 49. Apples and oranges. Juries aren't 'replacing' mods, they are an entirely different paradigm. [/big]
As others have said above, juries have no need of "institutional memory", their job is to consider a single post within the context of the thread in which it appears.

It is, in fact, far better that juries do NOT consider the history of a poster, since they are supposed to be looking at the alerted post on its own merits, outside of other considerations that do not not involve the actual thread in which the post appears. The worst jury decisions are those which are justified with statements to the effect that "the person (who was attacked by the poster in the alerted post) deserved it." Juries ought NOT be making decisions from institutional memory!

The one exception that must be allowed for is that which I will call the "taterguy exception": http://www.democraticunderground.com/124029095

H&M-D, Jan 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124036379


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by RandySF
[big] Romney family dog ran away after drive to Canada.[/big]
Mitt Romney may not have told the whole truth about the scandalous tale of his Irish Setter, Seamus, being strapped to the roof of his car during a 12-hour family road trip to Canada. According to a trusted Politicker tipster, two of Mr. Romney’s sons had an off-record conversation with reporters where they revealed the dog ran away when they reached their destination on that infamous journey in 1983.

Mr. Romney’s wife, Ann, has previously said Seamus survived the trip and went on to live to a “ripe old age.” As of this writing, Mr. Romney’s campaign has not responded to multiple requests for comment on this story.


http://www.politickerny.com/2012/01/31/did-mitt-romneys-dog-seek-asylum-in-canada/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] waddirum [/font]
[big] 7. We're all Seamus now [/big]
Run America Run

GD, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002255835


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by brooklynite
[big] Is the Florida Primary NOT OVER????? [/big]
Fox News:

Tampa, FL — Florida’s primary might not be over just yet.

The Newt Gingrich campaign is gearing up to challenge the results of the florida primary based on the Republican National Committee’s own rules which state that no contest can be winner take all prior to April 1, 2012. (See attached RNC memo.)

The Gingrich campaign plans to challenge Florida’s winner take all status & demand proportional allocation of delegates.

Fox News has learned that Thursday, a Florida Gingrich campaign official will begin the process of trying to have the RNC rules enforced so that the Sunshine State delegates are proportionately allocated.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] sufrommich
[big] 8. I saw Michael Steele mention this on MSNBC the night of the [/big]
election, everybody looked at him like he was nuts. He said Florida broke some rule and therefore lost their right to award the delegates as winner take all.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] nxylas [/font]
[big] 30. "Everybody looked at him like he was nuts" [/big]
Nah, that's just the way Republicans always look at African-Americans.

LBN, Feb 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101441619


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Botany [/font]
[big] Feb. 2nd 2012 is an important date [/big]
Feb. 2nd ....

If Rush Limbaugh can look down and see his penis there will be 6 more weeks of primaries.

[font color=#FF0000]Well, now I have to gouge my eyes out with a melon-baller.[/font]

GD, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002256912


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by tabatha
[big] One of the best letters EVER! It's written by a slave to his former master.[/big]
In August of 1865, a Colonel P.H. Anderson of Big Spring, Tennessee, wrote to his former slave, Jourdan Anderson, and requested that he come back to work on his farm. Jourdan — who, since being emancipated, had moved to Ohio, found paid work, and was now supporting his family — responded spectacularly by way of the letter seen below (a letter which, according to newspapers at the time, he dictated).

Rather than quote the numerous highlights in this letter, I'll simply leave you to enjoy it. Do make sure you read to the end.

(Source: The Freedmen's Book; Image: A group of escaped slaves in Virginia in 1862, courtesy of the Library of Congress.)

Dayton, Ohio,

August 7, 1865

To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin's to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/01/to-my-old-master.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Mira [/font]
[big] 13. What a magnificent piece of work. [/big]
It makes me so proud of this man. And he wrote this letter without a single smilie for yet it is dripping with it in the most dignified way.
This has made my day.
Thank you, Tabatha!

Good Reads, Feb 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101611377


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by zipplewrath
[big] Jury that never "finished"[/big]
I was on a jury yesterday and I never got notification of the result. Are there juries that never finish? Was I some how an "alternate" juror that was never needed?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] UnrepentantLiberal
[big] 3. It's a ghost jury. [/big]
Destined to wander DU. Never reaching a verdict.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Javaman [/font]
[big] 5. The Flying Dutchjury. nt [/big]

H&M-D, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124039416


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ellisonz
[big] Ancient tablet may contain world’s oldest ‘Yo Mama’ joke, along with sex and beer humor[/big]

The tablet was found in 1976 in modern-day Iraq, and may have been the work of a sloppy student from 1,500 B.C.
By Rolando Pujol / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Wednesday, February 1, 2012, 12:19 AM

OK, they aren't exactly knee-slappers, but 3,500 years ago, the six riddles found on an ancient tablet in Iraq could well have been quite the howlers — and may even contain the oldest "Yo Mama" joke known to man.

The cuneiform chucklers, believed to be written by a Babylonian student circa 1,500 B.C., were carved on a damaged tablet, discovered in 1976 by an archaeologist, J.J. van Dijk. The tablet has since vanished, but van Dijk preserved what was written on it. Michael Streck and Nathan Wasserman studied the riddles and published their findings in the noted journal Iraq, published by the British Institute for the Study of Iraq.

The riddles' subject matter is earthy - sex, beer, and, of course, humor at the expense of mom.

The riddle that has most captured the imagination is cryptic, but unquestionably involves something sassy being said about somebody's mother:

More: Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ancient-tablet-world-oldest-yo-mama-joke-sex-beer-humor-article-1.1015067#ixzz1lD0DElh6

[font color=#FF0000]A DUzy for replies 1 thru 6![/font]

World History, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1166200


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by hue
[big] What Scott Walker wrote to my deceased mother-in-law[/big]
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/01/1060569/-What-Scott-Walker-wrote-to-my-deceased-mother-in-law

The envelope is hard to miss, with its red, white and blue USA stamp and then, in the return address corner, these bold red letters: URGENT RECALL ELECTION. Inside is a letter with "Governor Scott Walker" written in large type on the top left. The letter is addressed to my mother-in-law, who died at age 88 last year from Alzheimer's disease. She was a lifelong Illinois resident who last donated to Republican causes at least 10 years ago, yet somehow she remains in the database for those seeking to fund conservative causes.

"I'm proud of your conservative leadership," Scott Walker tells her. "The President's Chicago Political Machine and vengeful, power-consumed Big Government Union Bosses have put a bull's eye on my back...I urgently need your help to win."

To save the republic from an Obama second term that would "devastate our economy," Walker pleads with my dead mother-in-law to give $50, $250, $2,500 or more.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] gateley [/font]
[big] 3. Send him a copy of her Death Certificate and warn if her name shows up on any [/big]
petitions to keep him in office, you'll take it public.

Good Reads, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101611668


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ProSense
[big] Romney: I 'Misspoke' About Lack Of Concern For 'Very Poor'[/big]

Romney: I 'Misspoke' About Lack Of Concern For 'Very Poor'

Mitt Romney, in an interview set to air Thursday night said he "misspoke" when he said he isn't concerned about the "very poor," according to an interview transcript provided to the Washington Post.

"It was a misstatement, I misspoke," Romney said. "I've said something that is similar to that but quite acceptable for a long time."

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/romney-i-misspoke-about-lack-of-concern-for

Romney's Plan: $100 Tax Hike for the Poor, $100,000 Tax Cut for the Rich
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/01/romneys-plan-100-tax-hike-for-the-poor-100-000-tax-cut-for-the-rich/250947/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] muriel_volestrangler [/font]
[big] 19. Error in Romneybot: PR exception at line 435 [/big]
Run <backtrack subroutine>:
Repeat
{
claim (misstatement);
state (previously_acceptable_nostrum);
} until (banker_funded_ads > news_cycle);

GD, Feb 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002259375


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]HONORABLE MENTION


[font color=#FF0000] The exchange between Summer Hathaway and Kaleko in this thread is pretty funny! [/font]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002259963#post84

GD, Feb 2, 2012





Thanks to: countryjake, zbdent, CaliforniaPeggy, Hatchling, LiberalAndProud, Kali, beac, Union Scribe, grantcart, rocktivity, meow2u3, hootinholler, ellisonz, DinahMoeHum, Enrique, and Kaleko!


Submitted with a killer leg cramp and a complete absence of feline companionship,
-Krispos42

[krispos42]

1. Whew!

Now it's time for breakfast...

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. Absence of cat...very suspicious.......hmmmmmmmm

( sorry about the leg cramp tho...)

[MH1]

3. Ok, what am I missing? Leading with a story about someone killing a cat?

Sorry, I can't get past that to find the funny.

[OriginalGeek]

7. There was a tin-foil hatter

in the thread that sounded like he was seriously complaining that evil cat overlords had stolen his land. You are right, the original post was a terrible story but that guy (ppr'd for his posts in that thread) was tragically funny.

[MH1]

22. Thanks for the explanation

but since I wouldn't read a thread like that I didn't see the context, and the way it is written up here doesn't really show it.

It's an unfortunate way to start off a thread that's supposed to be funny. Animal cruelty is never funny.

[krispos42]

8. I post'em in the order they come in.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. are these all you got for the week?

do you only post the ones submitted?

[krispos42]

21. Yup and yup.

If I can't find a post, or if an OP is deleted and the nomination doesn't make any sense out of context, I'll drop those. But otherwise, yeah.

[MH1]

23. You post everything that gets sent in?

well ok, but it's a real turnoff on this one. Or I dunno, maybe I'm just 'oversensitive' and the only one on the planet who doesn't find anything funny about animal cruelty.

[countryjake]

25. Guess you had to be there...

to understand why it was a lighthearted relief to finally have pinboy3niner deliver his comment summing up the mind-thought of the totally malicious intruder who had taken over that thread.

If you begin reading one of Woodsman's hidden rants at #30, you might understand where the humor is found in the DUzy. It took a couple of hours to have the guy's posting privileges removed and during that time he managed to brag about his shooting of hundreds of cats, condemn inner-city youth, feral cat rescuers, people in the Middle East, and anyone who loved cats, suggesting they be charged "Cat-Recreation Land-Use Fees" for allowing pets to roam free.

I was drawn into that topic by jury service, was astounded by the post that was being adjudicated and appalled by that poster's other insanely disgusting comments, still standing on the thread. And him, still shown as an active member of DU. I had an image of a rabid man typing away furiously, spittle flying, as he proclaimed his irrational feelings about all furry little feline creatures.

When I nominated pinboy's post for a DUzy, it was merely meant as a fitting final statement on the brief but bitter membership of a wild cat hater.

[pinboy3niner]

28. Thanks for that explanation, countryjake

There's no way krispos can provide all the context for threads like that one.

My post was a riff on your humorous reply mocking the 'catspiracy' notions of our disruptor--who began by defending the cat-killing pastor and blaming the cat owner before volunteering his backstory with its wild conspiracy theory.

The disruptor struck me as someone who sees human interactions in terms of a power struggle. He believed nefarious cat owners conspired to deploy hundreds of cats onto his property. To "steal" his property, in effect, by despoiling it and depriving him of his full use and enjoyment of it. He saw them as exerting power and control over him--something which he could not abide. And he expressed his racism and bigotry along the way.

Taking him seriously only encouraged him. So naturally, a bunch of us took another tack--mocking and ridiculing his preposterous assertions.

The post to which I was responding was yours--and I cracked up when I saw it:

countryjake
54. A popular control method? What are you so mad about?

Together, we and others made a pretty good pickup team for handling a disruptor.

[Major Hogwash]

4. Nice job.

It's almost that time of the year for the annual fishbowl drinking game, aka Super Bowl.

And then we get to hug the Tidy Bowl.

Have fun and remember, it's just a game.

"Tastes great, less filling"

:monkey pancakes:

[Botany]

5. you like me you really like me

[grantcart]

6. Thanks and a Purple Heart is coming your way

[krispos42]

9. Moving inventory is hard

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

[Ohio Joe]

10. K&R - nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. that one is really funny.

[JohnnyRingo]

13. "We're all Seamus now"

Funniest thing I've heard all week. [💩]

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. Great job!

Sorry about your leg...

[gateley]

15. K&R! nt

[annabanana]

16. Thenkyeu! Very funny folks, my DUers!. . .n/t

[lovemydog]

17. all white vegetable garden

buahaha!

[ellisonz]

18. Congrats to those in the Yo Mama Ancient Tablet thread!

HomerRamone
1. Was the tablet an iPad or a Kindle? nt

RZM
2. Yo mama's so fat . . .
she can take a dip in the Tigris and Euphrates at the same time.

Maine-i-acs
3. "when she sits around the Hanging Gardens of Babylon ...
(you know the rest)

meow2u3
4. Your mom's so old
She was having sex with your dad before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon became ruins.

provis99
5. whaddaya know?
People back then were as crass and boorish as they are today!

RZM
6. Yo mama's so dumb . . .
She thought 'ziggurat' was a candy bar.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

19. I knew if I made enough insane posts...

But this?

[UnrepentantLiberal]

20. P.S.

The Romneybot code was very clever.

[taterguy]

24. I object! I object!! I object!@!

[countryjake]

26. I hope you're satisfied!

Now the "tater guy exception" has been placed on the historical record, so that all future juries might "get you"!

[taterguy]

29. I'm never satisfied dumbass

(Just checking to see if this exception thing really works)

[countryjake]

27. Thanks for these, Krispos!

And I apologize if my suggestion of pinboy's post in that horribly tragic, trainwreck of a thread, has made your DUzies look bad.

If it's any consolation to you, I'm sitting here with a possibly broken leg, wondering what to do next, so I do feel your pain. And keeping all of my kitties off of it is becoming increasingly impossible, so your position may actually be an advantage.

[gkhouston]

30. You have a "possibly broken leg"? That'll teach you not to buy the cheap cat food.

Hope you feel better soon.