Secret to being happy: Fill your life with Flow

[Laura PourMeADrink]

Someone recently told me about Flow and how it's the secret to being happy.

Flow is what happens when you get completely lost in whatever you are doing at the moment. Could be work. Could be
sex. Could be a hobby. Could be a TV show. Could be anything you do when you are so into it that you don't notice anything around you or what time it is.

The theory to being happy is to fill your life with as many Flow activities as possible.

[NRaleighLiberal]

1. very interesting - my wife and I were just talking about that, but didn't call it flow...

It is when I am deep into my garden, or she is deep into her quilting - many hours pass of peaceful joy - very restorative.

We are really fortunate - we can get into the zone - the "flow" - each for hours each day....

only issue is that it makes time pass by really fast!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

3. You raise an even better question. Would you rather live longer and be bored a lot

or live a shorter life but have all the time in "the zone".

Another down side is when you only do flow things - all the necessary tasks in life get neglected. I suppose unless your flow is cleaning and paying bills and washing clothes. :&gt

[malaise]

39. I think over time some of the chores become flow things

We pay all our bills on the same day every month and delight in that reality and I find washing dishes therapeutic. I never found cooking or baking chores because that's both are on my list of flow things.

[Cronus Protagonist]

52. It's all in the point of view

One can never do enough of the things that we don't want to do in order to be truly happy. Flow that! :^D

[malaise]

53. True

but getting upset about having to do them messes up the flow.If you see them as part of life, you end up with more time to do what you really like.

[Tom Ripley]

64. +1000

[Scuba]

83. I like to wash the dishes ...

I like to wash the dishes,
I like to get them clean.
If you gave me 40 wishes,
I'd still be the dish machine.
I like to stack them up,
And make them nice and neat.
I like to wash the dishes,
'Cause you know I like to eat!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

85. wow - that sounds like Dr Suess :>)

[Scuba]

87. Wow, that's an awesome compliment! Thanks!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

88. Scuba you are quite the poet !!

[madokie]

2. You be talking to me :-)

thats the way it is with me

[Laura PourMeADrink]

6. what's your flow?

[madokie]

40. Every project I do

from building my toys to working on our house to working in our yard, swimming pool just everything I do.
I may be misunderstanding what FLOW is but my understanding is when you are immersed in a project to where you forget everything else and just concentrate on that one job/project.

[vanlassie]

75. Be Here Now.

I think that's it!!

[eShirl]

4. so basically, Facebook

[Laura PourMeADrink]

8. LOL. throw in DU too. Especially around election times. nt

[Quantess]

5. Slack. The Church of S... somethin´ (oh, help me out, I can't remember)

The smoking head of Bob Dobbs.

Come, on someone help me remember. Slack, Pinks.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

7. could you please put that in the form of a question? haha

[Quantess]

9. No, because if you get it you get it.

Sorry, but it's slightly esoteric. I explained enough so that someone who knows will be able to refresh my memory.

This is a cynical movement based in Austin Texas. They wanted to create their own religion and enjoy a tax-exempt status, while at the same time, writing some funny cynical and sarcastic books .

You could send them $30 and become an ordained minister.

[RadiationTherapy]

10. Subgenius.

May Bob be with you and also not with you.

[Quantess]

12. Well, hello! Look, it's the Smoking Head of Bob Dobbs!

It sounds like "flow" is just another word for "slack".

[Buns_of_Fire]

13. The Church of the SubGenius...

http://www.subgenius.com/

[Quantess]

28. Revelation X is chock full of good reads!

I actually had 2 friends who became ordained subgenius ministers. One of them conducted an actual wedding.

[Warren DeMontague]

16. THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!

[Quantess]

35. Haha, look what came up when I googled "slack subgenius"

http://www.subgenius.com/slaq.htm

[olddots]

60. Mr. Dobbs has a FLOW joke

but he will not repeat it

[tularetom]

11. I've been looking for a name for it forever

"Flow", huh? It's a matter of getting all the extraneous shit out of your mind. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore, I'm almost 72 and I've come to grips to the fact that I won't be around forever so I concentrate on filling my hours with stuff I enjoy.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

30. +1000

[jessie04]

14. There goes multitasking. nt

[silverweb]

15. "Go with the flow."

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Not exactly a new concept, but I'm always glad to see it get more attention.

Nice piece on the subject _here_.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

25. that's all cool...but not exactly the same thing. The article talks about being in the

moment whatever that moment is. Here, we are talking about moments that you love and are in it because
you are so content and super-involved.

It's all good though !

[silverweb]

33. Close enough.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]They're just approaching the same point from different directions.

[CTyankee]

57. Is this the same thing as "mindfulness"? My son in law is now into this...

he meditates after he runs in the morning. Breathing in with the nose, out through the mouth. Letting outside thoughts come and go and accepting them as part of one's mindfulness.

He says he is a lot happier doing this.

I'm going to try this. He says starting withjust a few minutes helps...

[Happyhippychick]

70. Yes and it is life changing.

[G_j]

17. getting in the flow with a bunch of others can be a lot of

fun too..



[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[Laura PourMeADrink]

26. Here's my G rated thought to agree with you. Playing cards/games with friends. nt

[otherone]

34. nice stealie

[Happyhippychick]

18. That's another word for "mindfulness"

[eShirl]

20. actually it sounds more like "escapism" to me

Be anywhere but here, now.

[Happyhippychick]

21. It's mindfulness, I don't know about escapism. It's full immersion in anactivity which makes anxiety

Impossible.

[eShirl]

22. I guess you and I just have different ideas of what mindfulness is

shrug

[Laura PourMeADrink]

23. Mindfulness -

Mindfulness, which, among other things, is an attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a 'power' (Pali: bala). This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place.

Buddhist

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

[eShirl]

24. yep

[Laura PourMeADrink]

29. did you just agreed with both sides?

[eShirl]

31. Not at all.

Did you?

[Happyhippychick]

44. No, LPMAD agreed with me

[eShirl]

47. Read your definitition of mindfulness and read the definition she posted

They don't look the same to me.

[Happyhippychick]

61. That's because you don't understand the def of mindfulness, LPMAD is explaining it.

[eShirl]

67. oh I think I do.

what I'm saying is I don't think "Flow" is the same as mindfulness.

[Happyhippychick]

41. Yep

[a la izquierda]

38. Escapism and mindfulness are not the same.

Mindfulness is immersing yourself in the very present (as in meditation). That is not escapism, which is wishing to be elsewhere.
It does not work both ways.

[Happyhippychick]

42. Yep

[eShirl]

46. I would say totally immersing yourself in TV, sex or a hobby is a good example of escapism

speaking from personal experience, all have been a means of throwing myself into something to avoid dealing with real Stuff

not so much mindfulness as out-of-mind-ness

[Happyhippychick]

71. I mean this very sincerely.

I hope you learn about mindfulness and learn how to practice it. It is life altering. I wish this for everyone. It's not about immersing yourself to escape, it's about tuning into what you are doing so that you fully experience it without distraction.

[eShirl]

72. You're confused; I was talking about how the OP's definition of "Flow" is not the same as mindfulnes

s.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

80. eShirl and HHC - Both of you know way more about these subjects

than I do.

But, the Flow I was trying to describe is not a conscious or practiced effort to immerse yourself or to "be in the moment"

It is a state of mind that happens naturally - originating from actually doing the activity vs. thinking " I am really going to get in the zone doing this."

I also don't think flow necessarily means that you are doing anything worthwhile - you could be in the flow getting drunk playing cards with friends. Or, the exact opposite - you could be in the flow as a scientist performing an experiment - on the verge of finding a cure of cancer.

[G_j]

89. well no wonder

if you enter into an activity with the attitude of wanting to escape. Personally I'd rather partake in sex, or a hobby
for the simple enjoyment of it.

[ananda]

37. That's how I look at it.

..

[Happyhippychick]

43. :)

[magical thyme]

65. this morning I was totally immersed in weeding my garden

the last area to clean up. I was totally in the moment. Totally being here now. And in the Flow.

Being in the Flow is Being Here Now.

[socialist_n_TN]

58. I was going to say that it reminds me of basic Zen.....

Like when I was playing music a few times and the groove was such that I didn't even notice what I was playing. Like the music was playing me.

[Happyhippychick]

62. Isn't that a delicious feeling? I get it!

[socialist_n_TN]

96. I'm not totally up on the language......

but I think that's called satori? And yep, it IS a delicious feeling.

[Egalitarian Thug]

19. Yep, pay no attention, it's not like you can do anything about it anyway.

IOW ignorance is bliss.


"Flow" is how a nation is conned into slitting its own throat so that parasites can fill themselves to bursting before moving on to the next host.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

27. that's a happy thought ET

[Egalitarian Thug]

36. Happy is irrelevant. We have a majority of people in this nation that fill their lives

with happy fantasies as the world crashes down around them. We are the most entertained society in history and the result is a pandemic of staggering ignorance and whole segments of the population withdrawing into a manufactured fantasy world.

Does fantasy sound like a solution to you? Only children believe that hiding under the covers will protect them from monsters.

[Quantess]

54. My idea of the concept of "flow" or "slack" is different than yours.

The opposite direction is toward having a knot in your stomach, being a control freak, and feeling angry and or frustrated every step of the way. Those are things I don't want in life.

But you know, a lot of people are uptight, humorless a-holes who hate everyone and everything around them, including themselves. That's no way to go through life, either.

[Happyhippychick]

69. I've been having the same argument with him/her. Obviously he/she doesn't get it and can't admit it

[Quantess]

73. oh, well.

If s/he enjoys getting wrinkles and high blood pressure over it, no point in arguing back.

[Egalitarian Thug]

92. Here's today's first example of why wishful thinking and ignoring facts

is not a strategy that is likely to yield positive results.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022870800

From Napoleon Hill and power of positive thinking to religion, con men have been selling this scam since forever.

[ohheckyeah]

32. Reading and any time

I'm working on a computer problem and trying to fix it or learning how to fix it.

[gulliver]

45. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Martin Seligman

Flow is the real deal, imo. I don't think it is the same as mindfulness exactly. I think the two are complementary. Mindfulness is about attention while flow is more about will. Together they can make you happy or content even when your environment and circumstances want to dictate that you should not be. My two cents anyway.

[Silent3]

48. I don't see how that's going to work

How much car insurance do I need anyhow?

[eShirl]

49. LOL

maybe the secret is more Flair
Flo needs more flair

[longship]

78. DUzy! nt

[Fumesucker]

50. If your "flow" is something that at least some others around you are into it can work for you

On the other hand if your "flow" is something like liberal/progressive politics or some geeky technical subject that practically no one around you gives the slightest damn about then you just come across as weird and people will shun you.

[Cronus Protagonist]

51. I work as a web developer and I know that feeling well

I can develop for hours at a stretch and forget what day of the week it is as well as what time of day it is or how long I've been working. It's not really work to me. I love it. It's creating something of value out of thin air.

Magic flies off my fingertips into the computer and the world lights up with useful functionality and valuable information! And then people use my work over and over for years. Some stuff I wrote in 1985 was still in use in 1997! I smiled when I saw that. It made me very happy to see that they enjoyed my software enough to keep it in continuous use for a decade. They still had no complaints too, which is rare. :^)

My way of thinking is to find a way to get well paid for something in which you flow. And do it well. Self-employed now for 25 years. I've had some bad times recently due to illness and the economy, but I'm back, flowing for money! And I need rivers of money right now.


(God)

[BuddhaGirl]

59. That's awesome!!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

84. Yes ! I think development and working with computer systems

are perfect places for analytical people to have flow moments. I think people who do this kind of work are very lucky because it satisfies the love of solving problems and finding solutions. For me, there is nothing better than trying to figure out why something doesn't work right and then it happens.

I read once that the most satisfying jobs were ones where you were supplying information to someone who wants it. I am an analyst in banking and my flow happens when my intuition tells me there may be a problem and taking financials and numbers and proving trends and showing management.

[Brickbat]

55. As an introvert, I disagree.

Being focused on "activities" is a great way to feel unfulfilled if you don't get your energy from such things.

[Bucky]

56. By "Flow" I assume you mean vodka martinis

Or Shiner Bock for you lightweights

[Tom Ripley]

63. Yes, living in the present is best. The past breeds resentment. The future breeds fear.

[bhikkhu]

66. My two cents on that -

Flow requires a certain level of mental activity. Mind and body forming a whole, activity is easiest to engage and maintain on any level where there is health.

All sorts of things that lead to health also contribute to happiness, then, and visa-versa as well. Taking care of your body heals the mind. Self-abuse (addictions, etc) does the opposite, and closes the mental doors that might let you realize other ways of being. That's one of the reasons its so easy to get stuck in a bad place - the way you don't want to go can pull you in like gravity and hold you there if you don't see the cause-and-effect of it.

[longship]

68. I prefer red wine or maybe a Manhattan or Martini.

Those flow for me. But I prefer to sip.

My question is whether Flow is some kind of newage (rhymes with sewage).

Somebody's selling something here, I think.

[Orrex]

74. I thought that you meant the Progressive Insurance woman

[Snarkoleptic]

76. Live in the now. Don't ponder the past or the future, live in the moment.

There are times for reflection, but we must always set aside time to live in the moment.
For me that means power down my mobile devices and enjoy life as it happens.

I used to hate Sundays as I'd begin to ponder work-related stuff in the early afternoon. I've fought off that impulse by busying myself with familiy, friends, chores, anything to keep from obsessing about my work BS. My time off is mine and I refuse to waste any of it on corporate America.

[longship]

77. Nope. It's "Flow your life with fill."

Everybody knows that.

Sheesh!

[Decoy of Fenris]

79. My old D&D crew used to call a session a success when we hit the Flow.

We'd go hours, sometimes days in a gaming session, nonstop, no sleep, simply because we didn't -want- to stop. Once we hit the Flow, we ordered pizza, brewed coffee, and just had fun. I have some great memories of that. Nowadays, it's all video games, but whatever activity lets you hit the flow, just roll with it and have fun.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

82. that is EXACTLY what I was trying to explain. Thanks DOF

[HiPointDem]

81. flow = out of your own head, in reality.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

86. How about flow = out of most of your own head (except what you are doing)?

[HiPointDem]

93. when i get in that state i'm not really thinking much about what i'm doing either, i'm just doing it

but it's hard to describe, maybe varies between people.

[Freddie Stubbs]

90. Unless your Flow activity is heroin

[deutsey]

91. I agree...I call it "being in the zone"

There is a flow you get caught up in when your ego concerns momentarily fade away as you lose yourself (and paradoxically find yourself) in whatever the meaningful activity is that you're doing.

This quote from Long Day's Journey Into Night always summed it up for me:

I lay on the bowsprit, facing astern, with the water foaming into spume under me, the masts with every sail white in the moonlight, towering high above me. I became drunk with the beauty and singing rhythm of it, and for a moment I lost myself -- actually lost my life.

I was set free! I dissolved in the sea, became white sails and flying spray, became beauty and rhythm, became moonlight and the ship and the high dim-starred sky! I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, within something greater than my own life, or the life of Man, to Life itself! To God, if you want to put it that way.

Then another time, on the American Line, when I was lookout on the crow's nest in the dawn watch. A calm sea, that time. Only a lazy ground swell and a slow drowsy roll of the ship. The passengers asleep and none of the crew in sight. No sound of man. Black smoke pouring from the funnels behind and beneath me. Dreaming, not keeping lookout, feeling alone, and above, and apart, watching the dawn creep like a painted dream over the sky and sea which slept together.

Then the moment of ecstatic freedom came. The peace, the end of the quest, the last harbor, the joy of belonging to a fulfillment beyond men's lousy, pitiful, greedy fears and hopes and dreams!

And several other times in my life, when I was swimming far out, or lying alone on a beach, I have had the same experience. Became the sun, the hot sand, green seaweed anchored to a rock, swaying in the tide. Like a saint's vision of beatitude. Like the veil of things as they seem drawn back by an unseen hand.

For a second you see -- and seeing the secret, are the secret. For a second there is meaning! Then the hand lets the veil fall and you are alone, lost in the fog again, and you stumble on toward nowhere, for no good reason!

[Tanuki]

94. More about Flow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

[Addison]

95. May the Flow be with you, always

[Laura PourMeADrink]

99. And with you !! (you sound like my priest) !! nt

[SalviaBlue]

97. Kinda like BE HERE NOW nt

[Le Taz Hot]

98. I call it hyperfocus.

I can do it with lots of things but especially my macrame art. While I'm doing one project I have 30 more dancing in my head waiting to be completed.

[nolabear]

100. I very much believe this. When you're in a flow state there's virtually no conflict.

You can call it presence, in the zone, whatever, but it means utterly congruent. The feeling is that you are being carried along in the moment. It's good for you!

There's a researcher whose done work on flow states and written a book called Flow. I can't spell his name I'm sure but it's pronounced "Chick-sent- me- hi" and is something like Cszyczenmihalyi.

[ksecus]

101. Busy hands, happy life

[AgingAmerican]

102. I call it, "Attention deficit disorder"

Been doing that my whole life. I like, "flow" better. Less negative connotation.