Re: Ignores and blocked mail. Do y'all really PM one another all the time?

[nolabear]

I hardly ever have a private conversation with anyone, and almost never backstage talk about a thread. Might be more than anyone wants out there, and I understand if not, but I must admit I'm curious. Am I just not in on the gossip?

And hey, it ain't an invite!

[Purveyor]

1. Funny isn't it? I have 19 blocking and 21 'full block'ing. I think I need to do better and bump

those numbers up, indeed!

[Tx4obama]

2. I've a couple DUers I message back and forth with regarding judicial nominations, but not gossip n/t

[nolabear]

4. Interesting sub-specialty.

[loli phabay]

56. i have a couple of people i talk in pms too, one we disagree on lots of stuff

But still maintain a friendship via pms that transcends political views, another who shoots the shit with me and asks me stuff when a thread goes into my expertise. Its a good way to talk to people without putting everything out there. One thing i hate is seeing people using pms to get info and then running to the thread to out someone.

[Apophis]

3. I haven't got a PM in about a month.

Before that, never.

[enough]

5. How do you know if you are ignored and/or blocked? (nt)

[Tx4obama]

6. Click on your 'My Profile' link at the top of the page, then...

then click on 'Transparency' tab, then click on the 'Show me my Transparency page' link
then look in the 'Member Feedback' section

[enough]

50. Thanks, Tx4obama. (nt)

[kentauros]

7. You gotta be a host

to be in on the real gossip!

[nolabear]

8. LOL! No doubt. I lack the time and quail at the thought.

But I salute all yo who choose to serve.

[kentauros]

9. Thanks!

Although our little group is mostly harmless, and thus, easy to moderate.
I wilt at the idea of being a host around here!

[Le Taz Hot]

36. Jesus! Ain't that the truth?

There's some petty, gossipy, backstabbling, personal-vendetta taking shit that goes on in there.

[kentauros]

38. Thankfully, I haven't read much of it.

I knew their reputation going in, and have kept our group problems "in house".

So, how's Meta-II (Hosts Forum) these days?

[Le Taz Hot]

40. I knew one of you would be along shortly.

How goes it with The Committee these days? Still enjoying your demi-god status or is that wearing off yet?

[kentauros]

41. It's kind of wearing off.

Partly due to "watched" participants behaving, so far. I skim the threads, mostly to make sure everyone is playing nice. Maybe it's a good thing it's all calm and "boring" right now

Have you been to our group?

[Le Taz Hot]

45. Yeah, it's good that The Committe

is continuing their vigilance on those "watched" participants as you never know when one might break out in independent thought.

And thanks for the invitation to your group but I'm afraid I'll have to pass this time. See above reference.

[kentauros]

49. Oh, we encourage independent thought!

It's the civility concept that some have a difficult time figuring out

[Le Taz Hot]

51. I'm a big fan of civility.

Except, of course when civility is confused with groupthink.

[kentauros]

52. Well, you can always have a look at our group

and see where the problem(s) arose. Plenty of people of all kinds of thinking saw the problem for what it was, and not "groupthink". Civility is pretty easy to figure out for most of us. Some have that antagonizing way of thinking and it comes out of their keyboards automatically. They often don't see the problem in that and why we call it out for not playing nice.

[Le Taz Hot]

54. LOL!

"Plenty of people of all kinds of thinking saw the problem for what it was, and not "groupthink". " LOL! Thank you for making my point. Perfect timing!

[kentauros]

55. I guess we have different definitions of "groupthink".

Glad I was able to entertain you, though. Have a nice day.

[hfojvt]

10. check your PM

I have gotten some PMs and sent some PMs, but probably the last twenty PMs start like this "results of your jury service".

But very rarely is a PM about gossip, in my experience.

[pinboy3niner]

11. Ignored said what?

Quick, somebody PM me and let me know what's going on!

[kentauros]

12. What????

Type louder!

[pinboy3niner]

13. Just tune in here:

Have you heard the news about Generalissimo Francisco Franco?

[nolabear]

14. *sort!* Well why so many blocks then? Why bother?

Inquiring minds...

[pinboy3niner]

15. Sometmes it takes a LOTTA blocks...

[winter is coming]

18. ...

[kentauros]

19. Isn't he still dead?

Oh. That's very different.
Never mind.

(I was just watching some of Richard Pryor: Live at the Sunset Strip. It never gets old!)

[winter is coming]

16. ALL of us PM ALL of the time, mostly about YOU!

Seriously, I rarely send/receive PMs. No idea whether that's typical.

[nolabear]

29. I was afraid of that.

[pinboy3niner]

17. Easy for you to say

You have the nolabear exception.

[nolabear]

28. *gasp!* I can now die happy. I'm in a taterguy swoon!

[kentauros]

39. Damn!

And here I was thinking all along that it was the nolabear deception

[hrmjustin]

20. Not much!

sometimes about hosting or say hello to a friend or two.

[bettyellen]

21. I don't think I ever initiated a PM in my life and I have 20 blocking me. LOL.

I have sent one or two randomly patting people on the back for posting amazing things. And responded to people or made plans to meet up years ago.
But I have gotten a few really nasty angry PMs and I think they just wanted to say something disturbing that wouldn't get hidden or out themselves as nasty people. Weird.

[pinboy3niner]

23. I can PM you if you want

But making up something disturbing and weird might be more of a challenge.

Would you settle for cute kitty pics?

[cynatnite]

22. I'm just as unpopular as you...

I hardly ever get a PM.

it's all good.

[Nye Bevan]

24. There's a few cliques out there who PM each other all the time.

But I'm not in one so I only get the jury messages.

[nolabear]

31. So it's a clique spat to block PMs? How...Heathers.

[Javaman]

25. Most of the folks I did PM with have long since gone. :( nt

[bettyellen]

32. me too!

[CBGLuthier]

26. funny you should ask, I have never used either but just now

had to block some tool that insulted me.

[graham4anything]

27. in the outside world, they call it cliques I think. I was never part of them, never saw the sense.

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. I go months without a PM...and typically it's from one of 3 good friends on here and has nothing to

do with DU.

[siligut]

33. My general impression is that some people do

It was called cliquish behavior when in the lounge, and created a problem a while back. I get the impression that some people still do it because I have been PMed "feelers".

You don't want to be in on the gossip, but I think you already know this.

[nolabear]

34. Yeah, I do. I got enough problems with RL gossip in the faculty I'm on. Hah!

[KG]

35. had to put one DUer on PM ignore, due to recieving nasty-grams

then being blocked from replying by that person.

I still get and send occasional PMs from fellow old timers...

[IdaBriggs]

37. I have received several PMs thanking me for bringing up "bullying"

in an ATA thread. Sometimes I have "private" conversations about different topics, including things I don't think are appropriate for general discussion (health stuff, baby stuff, or my volunteer projects).

I was once invited to a discussion by a person who is now on "Ignore" who kind of had some issues with reality and truth (if you know what I mean).

I've been here a long time; sometimes friends and I reach out via PM.

[Le Taz Hot]

42. There was a nasty contintingent on DU

several years ago, mostly lounge lizards, who had a little PM clique going on. I got privy to one of them about me. Think Jr. High School and then bring it down a couple of notches and you get the idea. Other than that, I PM people maybe 10-15 times a year and get the same back. A lot of times its just about something they posted that I want to know more about. For example, I got some great advice from some of our DU artisans on how to sell your stuff at Craft's Fairs, stuff like that.

[nolabear]

46. Bummer! I'm sorry that happened. I do have a few conversations like that.

I mean asking for details on something or now and then exchanging info or poetry or such but nothing I can imagine would lead to being blocked. I wondered if people were back there lobbing snowballs and I didn't have a clue.

[Le Taz Hot]

48. It was actually

more of an eyeroll moment: I always figured anyone who would spend their time like that doesn't have nearly enough to do.

[Blue_Tires]

43. you don't PM?

don't complain later on about how no one ever told you about the DU meetup and sex festival

[nolabear]

47. Rats.

And "Whew!"

[In_The_Wind]

57. No one sent me a PM about the SEX FESTIVAL!

[rl6214]

44. The only PMs I've gotten we're nasty attacks.

[hollysmom]

53. it varies

reason I would contact someone is to thank them for an old post or because the thread has been closed. To ask for more information, never too old to learn, or to discuss something that would not be interesting to others. or because a friend of mine posts here.
I don't know people well enough to gossip.

[In_The_Wind]

58. I used to send PMS.

Not so much these days.
FWIW (about my life) all too personal for public knowledge, not about other DUers (usually).