Warning: Take Batteries Out of All Cell Phones RFN!

[MineralMan]

I hear that the government is tracking everyone using the built-in GPS in your phone 24/7! THEY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!

After you do that, shut off the electricity in your home, unplug all computers and other electronic devices, and tape aluminum foil on all windows. Then, go into your guest bedroom and pull the covers over your head.

Let those with ears hear, and those with eyes read.

I'll say no more...you have been informed!

[liberal N proud]

1. I recommend...

[dothemath]

68. Attention all!

People, people, people! Making 'tin' foil hats out of aluminum foil does not protect you! Mortgage everything, sell your kids, stop newspaper delivery, whatever, do everyting you can to get your hands on some tin. The government will double down on monitoring you and you will tried as an illegal combatant for hoarding essential war materiels and killed but at least you will be protected. You have been warned.

[reformist2]

2. No, but DO try disconnecting from the internet once in a while. It'll do you some good.

[onehandle]

3. Then how will I get my porn? nt

[Buzz Clik]

6. Go to the bookstore.

[Orrex]

22. All bookstores within 100 miles of my house are big coffee shops with a book section

[Buzz Clik]

26. Coffee and porn. Sounds like a winner to me.

[boston bean]

7. I'm seeing a whole new meaning for your screen name. nt

[Buzz Clik]

31. ew

[boston bean]

32. maybe i should have said "learning"

[KittyWampus]

53. made me laugh

[MineralMan]

67. DUzy!

[msanthrope]

10. The old-fashioned way--delivered by the USPS in a plain brown wrapper.

We could save the USPS. Think about it.

[emulatorloo]

15. Plus USPS tracking numbers are a bit of a joke

Never been able to track a package with them - sounds like a foolproof plan!

[Buzz Clik]

37. "USPS was notified by the shipper that a package was to be sent 6 days ago."

Six days later....

"Your package departed Memphis TN at 8 am yesterday."

Five days after the package shows up in your mailbox:

"Your package is out for delivery."

Try connecting THOSE dots.

[southernyankeebelle]

76. Talk about tracking even when you go to the grocery store they know what you are buying. We

can't get away from it. Maybe living off the grid. But I love all my electric stuff.

[emulatorloo]

80. Even something like Angry Birds collects location tracking info

http://www.salon.com/2013/01/18/the_spies_inside_our_smartphones

It is just crazy, but very hard to give up these toys.

[southernyankeebelle]

88. What can a person say, LOL

[In_The_Wind]

23. Books

[mwooldri]

66. Sneaker-Net.

Get on a pair of sneakers, and acquire it from someone. A store, perhaps? Or someone elses' pron collection.

[arely staircase]

97. make your own - like the pioneers

nt

[geek tragedy]

4. With AT&T's crappy coverage, they can only tell where I am 30% of the day. nt

[Buzz Clik]

9. I hear that. They will never find me when I'm at home.

[Jamastiene]

82. They told me I was at my neighbor's house.

They clearly had me located at the address next door.

[Buzz Clik]

85. And, being a good citizen, you corrected them.

[Jamastiene]

89. No, I did the Risky Business

lip syncing dance to Old Time Rock & Roll.

[William769]

36. ...

[geek tragedy]

38. Can you imagine the drone program using AT&T to track a subject

"We have the target located within a several block radius. Just about have him . . . shit, dropped call."

[William769]

41. Please stop I haven't had this good of a laugh in a while my sides are hurting!

I just scheduled my colonoscopy with my doctor on my verizon phone I wonder if they have a camera for that also?

[geek tragedy]

44. I'd avoid Instagram for the next few weeks . . . nt

[William769]

47. Not only am I new to cell phones, I just got a smart phone.

I didn't even know what that was till I googled it.

Yep I finally broke down & got a cell phone, now I just need to learn everything it does, then they can truly track me.

[geek tragedy]

49. Oh man, wait till you see the Facebook app where you

announce to the world where you are.

[William769]

50. I tweet, I don't do facebook.

And I doubt that will change.

[geek tragedy]

54. Facebooks sucks nowadays, good call nt

[Diclotican]

86. William769

William769

I know - even though I have had a "smart-phone" for a while - I think I'm on my 3th one now... Very nice, full of stuffs who could make your life better - or at least less difficult... I have even discovered a feature - where I can buy a electronic ticket to the train and bus -and just show it when asked for the ticket - a rater neat feature I would say ..

But yeah - if they want - they could and will try to get a track on you - or me if they want to do it.. But then again, you can always just leave the phone back home if you do not want to be traced by anyone.. I do it sometimes, when I just want to be alone - and not "there" in any way...

Diclotican

[azurnoir]

52. whoa that just gave new life to

the government peering up ones 'backside'

[William769]

55. They wouldn't be the first!

[azurnoir]

58. Lol

[KittyWampus]

56. OMG! The Govt. is secretly taping the insides of our colons?

[Sheepshank]

81. I know you think you are joking

but there was a lengthy discussion on another bb where the freepers were freaking out about the very same colon health subject matter...of course it had to do with Obama care...but ir all ties together!

[Whiskeytide]

84. How else can they...

...locate republican's heads?


Edited for a typo

[jmowreader]

64. It'd save you a lot of money if they did...

[annabanana]

51. DUzy! . . .n/t

[Jamastiene]

77. Yup.

Half the time, my cell phone is used to check the weather on my home network, because AT&T's network only gives me 1 bar at home, IF I am lucky. When I am out in town, half the time I cannot even call home. I clicked my GPS off on my cell phone, simply because it drains the battery down in record time.

I'm sure the NSA still knows where I was and what time and date it was when I caught my biggest fish in Big Sport Fishing 3D Lite though. Let 'em fear my 1337 Android phone fishing skills.

[ecstatic]

94. lol! nt

[arely staircase]

99. i bet the cia has to complain about dropped surveillance

all the time.

[Buzz Clik]

5. Just to be safe, I took the batteries out of my car and the smoke detectors in my home.

It's the batteries they are tracing, right?

[MineralMan]

17. Yah, that's it. The NSA has conspired with the battery makers

to put tracking devices in every battery sold. That's what I hear from my sources.

[Skidmore]

8. But, but , but...

my pharmacy is hooked to the intertubes.

[In_The_Wind]

11. Check!

[FarCenter]

12. The battery is out of my cell phone -- and I'm hoping it will dry out!

[Buzz Clik]

39. Damn! When we said to "scrub your phone" it was metaphorical!!!

[retread]

13. How easy it is to mock! Almost as easy as tracking a cell phone.

http://www.stealthgenie.com/cell-phone-tracking-software.html?utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=CPC&utm_content=Cell-Phone&utm_campaign=Generic

[klook]

91. Scary, but this service requires installation of the app on the target's phone.

So you mainly have to worry about your significant other, (or Ex-significant other), parents, or others who have access to your phone. And for an iPhone, it requires jailbreaking the device first. Not sure about Android & Blackberry.

At first glance, I thought this service would enable anybody anywhere to track any cell phone for which they had the number. And I'm sure nobody is able to do that, hahaha! Haha, right?! Ha?

If you want to find out if your kids are skipping school (or if your husband is at a motel with his mistress), it's much easier to just use the service provided by your cell phone carrier.

[NightWatcher]

14. I love when people go online to complain about being tracked online

Many of these same people post in Facebook everytime they leave the house, where they eat, who with, and even post pics of the food.

If you're concerned with privacy, go buy a shack in the mountains (a la Kaczinsky).

[emulatorloo]

16. Nuff said, please confine all communication to FACEBOOK

[MineralMan]

19. And check in wherever you go, too.

I finally hid one Facebook "friend." She checked in everywhere, all day long. Uff da!

[sarisataka]

18. Actually DU is...

a top secret government monitoring system to track potential enemies of the state. Don't worry we are not watching you


BTW you are running low on toothpaste and that drip in the kitchen faucet is costing you $28.73 a year, you should get it fixed

[MineralMan]

21. Haha. Fooled you. That drippy kitchen faucet is a distraction that

helps keep people from knowing how many times I open the refrigerator. Stealth technology.

[Dash87]

20. All terrorists should use Verizon.

"Oh no! They're driving into a dead zone again!"

[avaistheone1]

70. Mercy!

lol

[99Forever]

24. *

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

[MineralMan]

25. I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere, but I just can't put my finger on where.

[Buzz Clik]

29. Facebook. My daughter "liked" that comment when her friend was having a fight with her boyfriend...

... and got all mad when you started cyberstalking her.

It later became a meme for grumpy cat.

[MineralMan]

30. See. Everything you need to know can be found on The Facebook.

It is the authority. I Liked it.

[Buzz Clik]

34. You "liked" Facebook? That's pretty awesome.

[99Forever]

92. Seems like a whole bunch of people...

... think it's not very important any more. Some of us KNOW that creeping authoritarianism is pleased with the former and hates the later. I have to wonder, judging from this snarky, belittling, fucking post of yours, which group you are in.

[MineralMan]

93. I am in the group that looks at things

as they are, and comments from that point of view. It is an odd group, to be sure.

[snappyturtle]

42. +1 As I see it, we've voluntarily given up enough info to the gov't and there

should be no need for the data mining.

Show me instances where the gov't has successfully thwarted an horrific terrorist attack, anywhere on the globe, and I MIGHT change my mind. Of course, the gov't won't tell us because DiFi said they won't release this info.?????? Good grief they didn't use the info they had pre- 9/11!

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized

[zeemike]

72. Oh that old constitution is so old school

we have a new crowd now and they have a slogan
"What, me worry?"

[Auntie Bush]

27. Glad to see some people on DU have a sense of humor.

Paranoid people make me cringe.

[MineralMan]

28. Well, there's serious, and then there's SERIOUS.

It's the SERIOUS stuff that worries me, you know...

[RobertEarl]

33. Your concern is noted, MM

I wonder, could we all get our NSA - Not Secret Anymore, files from them, like our files from the FBI?

That would even the field.

Hi NSA folks. Love y'all. Peace. Oh, FBI folks too.

[longship]

35. I've done all of that and more.

I'm now hiding in a closet under my bed (which I moved there after 9/11 and the Patriot Act and all that business). Unfortunately, there are still drones here under the bed. I have to dodge two or three every hour of the day and night.

I don't know when I'll be able to get some sleep. But I soldier on nevertheless.

BTW, how in the fuck did this Longship poser post this response on DU when I am unplugged?

ARGGGGH!

[MineralMan]

59. Identity Theft! Identity Theft!

Better call LifeLock, and be damned quick about it! Just fill in this simple form with your SS#, date of birth, mother's maiden name and your first pet's name, too. Pay no attention to the check boxes at the bottom of the form. They're just routine...

[longship]

69. If I agree to the contract, do I get to be the party of the first part?

I've desparately wanted that for years. Here's my lawyer discussing it with another, yet unnamed client of his.

Tell me when it's safe to come out from under my bed... In the closet... With the lights off... And all those pesky drones under here.

[sadbear]

40. My flip phone doesn't have GPS.

They'd have to triangulate to find me, but I suspect that since I'm such a badassed dude, they're probably doing that as I type.

[Buzz Clik]

45. Are you using the Al Franken satellite phone?

If so, you are toast.

[SecularMotion]

43. Good Evening. We're from the Government

[HappyMe]

46. Done!

I hope the calls will stop coming from inside the apartment now.

[MineralMan]

57. Uh-oh. You are so hosed. Run for your life!

They've already found you, and will render you soon.

[Gus Lammas]

48. DURec

[Turbineguy]

60. You left out:

"TURN ON FOX NEWS FOR INFORMATION AND TRUTH!"

[MineralMan]

61. NO! Fox watches you through the camera in your cable box.

See that little red light? Look more closely, eh..

[Turbineguy]

62. Are you suggesting that

I stop mooning the TV?

[MineralMan]

65. Well, I'd take care of that hemorrhoid, at least.

Sheesh!

[MineralMan]

63. Uh-oh...this thread is trending now! Agent Mike will

be checking in shortly. Mum's the word, everyone!

[rhett o rick]

71. You left out that we should instead just drink the government cool-aide.

Big Brother will take good care of you.

[sheshe2]

73. Oh I so needed that, MineralMan!

Oh nooooes!



Well at least mine are stylish!





K&R!

[MineralMan]

95. Wow! Those make my homemade one look like

crap. Nice!

[sheshe2]

96. Will send you one post haste, MM!

[CakeGrrl]

74. K/R

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

75. Some cell phones have inaccessible batteries ...

... they're onto your plot, MM!

[madrchsod]

78. i do`t give a fuck if they know where i am...

i'm too dam old to give a shit what they think.

[ColesCountyDem]

83. That certainly explains why men in black arrested me at church yesterday.

Sorry, pastor, but rather than turn my phone completely off, I'll be putting it on 'vibrate only'. After 3 hours of waterboarding, 6 polygraph exams and questioning under sodium pentothal, I was finally able to convince the NSA and CIA that it was an innocent mistake on my part, and that I will never again try to 'hide' from them in a church....

[SMC22307]

87. About as funny as "Mallard Fillmore."

[SomethingFishy]

104. +1

Hehe...

[Hekate]

90. Told ya years ago that Big Brother isn't Uncle Sam, it's Corporate Tech

But would they listen to me? Noooo.

People just love their shiny toys, and so people actually PAY to have themselves tracked 24/7/365. They they get all bent out of shape when it turns out they're being ... tracked.

Thanks, MinMan

[Texasgal]

98. Pfft!

Guest bedroom? Surely you meant the bathroom!

[graywarrior]

100. Duck tape and plastic!

[Deep13]

101. I just keep mine turned off.

You think you are kidding, but using supercomputers--which the govt. has--it is collecting data en masse from cellular phones, emails, and other sources. If the govt. can physically do something to increase surveillance, then they are in fact doing it.

[MineralMan]

103. So that is why I could not reach you.

Too bad.

[Deep13]

105. Not for me.

Sorry, I'm ribbing you.

My home phone with the wire connecting it to the wall is always on.