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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsNew Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
WASHINGTONSaying the now critically endangered species of politician is at high risk for complete extinction within the next 10 years, Beltway-area conservationists announced plans Monday for a new captive breeding program designed to save moderate Republicans.
According to members of the Initiative to Protect the Political Middle (IPPM), centrist Republicans, who once freely roamed the nation calling for both economic deregulation and a return to Reagan-era tax rates on the wealthy, are in dire need of protection, having lost large portions of their natural terrain to the highly territorial Evangelical and Tea Party breeds.
"Our new program is designed to isolate the few remaining specimens of moderate Republicans, mate them in captivity, and then safely release these rare and precious creatures back into the electorate," said IPPMs Cynthia Rollins, who traces the decline of the species to changes in the political climate and rampant, predatory fanaticism. "Within our safe, enclosed habitats, these middle-of-the-road Republican Party members can freely support increased funding for public education and even gay rights without being threatened by the far-right subgenus."
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-breeding-program-aimed-at-keeping-moderate-rep,27371/
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New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct (Original Post)
joeybee12
Feb 2012
OP
liberal N proud
(60,334 posts)1. ROFL
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)2. The photos are great! nt
opihimoimoi
(52,426 posts)3. The Baggers are now missing...MIA...NADA.. Puka, Nai...zilch...
Cirque du So-What
(25,927 posts)4. Next up...
a capture-neuter-and-release program for the far-right subgenus.
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)5. A tnr program! Great idea!
47of74
(18,470 posts)6. Ahem