Diamonds Are Bullshit

[XemaSab]

American males enter adulthood through a peculiar rite of passage -- they spend most of their savings on a shiny piece of rock. They could invest the money in assets that will compound over time and someday provide a nest egg. Instead, they trade that money for a diamond ring, which isn't much of an asset at all. As soon as you leave the jeweler with a diamond, it loses over 50 percent of its value.

Americans exchange diamond rings as part of the engagement process, because in 1938 De Beers decided that they would like us to. Prior to a stunningly successful marketing campaign 1938, Americans occasionally exchanged engagement rings, but wasn't a pervasive occurrence. Not only is the demand for diamonds a marketing invention, but diamonds aren't actually that rare. Only by carefully restricting the supply has De Beers kept the price of a diamond high.

Countless American dudes will attest that the societal obligation to furnish a diamond engagement ring is both stressful and expensive. But here's the thing -- this obligation only exists because the company that stands to profit from it willed it into existence.

So here is a modest proposal: Let's agree that diamonds are bullshit and reject their role in the marriage process. Let's admit that as a society we got tricked for about a century into coveting sparkling pieces of carbon, but it's time to end the nonsense.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rohin-dhar/diamonds-are-bullshit_b_3708562.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

[LWolf]

1. Okay. nt

[BeyondGeography]

2. And bullshit is forever

[phantom power]

26. DUzy

[Gidney N Cloyd]

42. Like alimony. Go with the bullshit.

[madokie]

3. My wife told me that if I wasted money on a diamond

she'd be very upset.
We have a simple 40 dollar wedding band.

[Grown2Hate]

108. Similarly, my wife told me she'd punch me in the face if I got her a diamond. She DEMANDED

cubic zirconia and that I better not spend over $200. ::swoon::

[zappaman]

4. I thought they were a girl's best friend?

Shows what I know...

[RebelOne]

50. They still are and will always be.

I have a diamond ring that an ex-boyfriend gave me before he dumped me for a girl 30 years younger, but I have the diamond ring and she never got one.

[sarisataka]

5. And all this time...

I thought they were carbon

[Scootaloo]

6. Well, so is bullshit

I'd be very surprised to see piles of holmium on a pasture, wouldn't you?

[sarisataka]

9. Point taken

[GoneFishin]

7. Can't eat them, can't put them in your gas tank. They are a scam.

[tridim]

35. You can grind it up and make a diamond saw.

Or make a massively overpriced phonograph needle.

[davidpdx]

8. I bought my wife a ring with a very small diamond

Then we had two gold bands for our wedding. The ring wasn't expensive because I couldn't afford much. I don't make a habit of buying diamonds and I personally hate all jewelry.

[Link Speed]

10. Spend $25K on a really fine, old guitar

Play it at your wedding (which are, in my opinion, the biggest waste of energy and money on the planet).

It will be worth a fortune when you retire.

Make sure you insure it in your name, just in case your marriage fails - which is about 50/50.

[tridim]

37. I'd like to think the woman I marry will appreciate that. :)

I'll take this one:
http://compare.ebay.com/like/370807460923?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

[MADem]

11. They are expensive bullshit, then.

If you have to leave in a hurry, converting one's assets to diamonds is a simple way to carry a lot of cash in a subtle way, because they're easy to hide or put in a cheap setting covered with a bit of dirt and grease to make them look like fakes.

[KittyWampus]

39. Going to tuck this in here on your post- buy antique diamond rings. They keep their value.

[Thav]

78. We paid $0.50 for my wife's diamond.

my mom bought a box of costume jewelry at a thrift store years ago. In it was a crazy dirty, scuffed, rough looking ring containing a .5 carat, .15 carat, and some chips. We spent a bit having a custom ring made for it. So for about $500 we had a very nice looking, custom ring valued at about $3200.

When we told my mom and dad what mom found, my mom said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY JUNK NOW!??!!" to my dad. Hilarious.

[MADem]

89. Wow! nt

[onenote]

12. If anyone wants to get rid of their bullshit diamonds

they can send them to me.

[Fumesucker]

13. How about a 10 billion trillion trillion carat diamond?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3492919.stm

Twinkling in the sky is a diamond star of 10 billion trillion trillion carats, astronomers have discovered.

The cosmic diamond is a chunk of crystallised carbon, 4,000 km across, some 50 light-years from the Earth in the constellation Centaurus.

It's the compressed heart of an old star that was once bright like our Sun but has since faded and shrunk.

Astronomers have decided to call the star "Lucy" after the Beatles song, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

[kentuck]

23. Neato!

[ThoughtCriminal]

68. Affordable

Until you try to mount it on a Niven-Class ring.

[sakabatou]

86. Now, how to mine that sucker...

[X_Digger]

14. I didn't buy into that shit, my wife was happy.

If it takes a chunk of cash to make your prospective spouse happy, and "prove" that you're serious?

You're doing it wrong.

[FreeJoe]

15. I didn't get scammed

When I asked my wife to marry me, I did a full financial disclosure. I showed her where the money for an engagement ring would come from (my Vanguard S&P 500 fund). I explained to her how much of that money I would lose to capital gains taxes if I liquidated the investment. I also explained to her how much that money would hopefully grow over time if we kept it invested instead of spending it on a ring.

I told her that I was fine either way she wanted to go. If having a ring was an important part of the process to her, I'd be happy to oblige. On the other hand, if financial security was important, we could keep the money.

She opted to keep the money. I've always joked that it was then that I was sure I had made the right decision. I still haven't sold the fund. She sometimes used to ask how much her "ring" was worth now. We'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary soon. I'll let her know then that her "ring" is now worth more than 5 times as much as it was when I proposed.

[Bay Boy]

16. Banner ad for me at the top

was for Diamond Nexxus.

I recall seeing an ad directed at men suggesting how much they should spend on an engagement ring. It was something like six months salary that they suggested. That is crazy.

[LeftyMom]

17. I'd pay a few grand to not have to explain DeBeers' marketing strategy

to every gossiping old biddy I know. Or a few hundred for a convincing fake, whatever.

[BainsBane]

18. I prefer colored gemstones

[TexasTowelie]

58. I do too.

I doubt that I can ever afford it, but if I were to win the lottery and wanted to buy a piece of jewelry to flaunt my wealth then I would choose my birthstone which is an alexandrite and have it set in platinum. I'd also have the benefit of having a gemstone that undergoes a color change between natural and artificial light.

[BainsBane]

62. These days the gemstones are cheaper than the metal

Alexandrite is beautiful. My dream ring would probably be a green tourmaline, emerald cut in 18k gold.

[TexasTowelie]

74. That is a pretty gemstone too.

I had to start somewhere though so I went for my birthstone. FWIW, the price for a 1 carat alexandrite ranges from $500 to $12,000 depending on clarity and color change.

[BainsBane]

76. Seriously?

I have one unset I bought several years ago. I should see if I can sell it.

[TexasTowelie]

80. Yes.

Larger alexandrite gemstones are extremely rare. I believe the only known deposits are from Russia, Brazil and possibly India.

The smaller carat weight stones are more common and are occasionally offered on Jewelry TV and other gem shopping networks. I'd suggest contacting a few jewelry appraisers to get a quote. Good luck!

[Dreamer Tatum]

19. Sounds like someone wasn't happy with his. nt

[tabasco]

20. A lot of these bullshit rituals are inane

People spend tens of thousands on a marriage and thousands more for lawyers to get divorced.

Those propaganda diamond ads are sickening. "Get her a more expensive tiny bit of mineral or you're a loser." The price of diamonds is greatly inflated by these crooks too.

[TheMadMonk]

90. Indeed. There's the 4 figure gown and 5 figure reception.

The $500 cake. We're told it's normal to pay 3 figures a place for catering when a decent meal, including grog, can be easily done for less than $25 a head.

Make it byob (mixers provided) and you can do an EXCELLENT meal for the same price AND make a decent start on a liquor cabinet for the happy couple from the spoils.

One upon a time ordinary people invested TIME in the marriage celebrations of their offspring. CA$H went to solid things like bricks and mortar.

[davidn3600]

21. Men know it's bullshit. It's women that don't want to give the diamonds up.

[Warpy]

29. Part of it is that it's nice to have something you can hock

after he's cleaned out the bank account and run off with somebody younger. Other than that, I suppose sentimental women consider it a symbol they can flash around that somebody loved them enough to go into debt for it.

[Little Star]

51. You owe me a new computer screen!

[RebelOne]

67. True. I was dumped by an ex-boyfriend for someone younger.

But I have the diamond ring that I can hock.

[Blue_In_AK]

56. That's not necessarily true.

I didn't care about a diamond at all, but my husband wanted to give me one when we got engaged, so there it is. He bought me diamond stud earrings, too, which I've worn maybe once. I'm just not in to jewelry, but I guess they're an investment.

[flvegan]

22. For the money, I'd buy her a mid-60's Corvette.

No, it's not for me. Honest.

[LeftyMom]

73. I'll hold you to that!

Better investment, more fun, and you can't park a rock someplace quiet.

[flvegan]

91. What? Who is this?

LOL!

[LeftyMom]

92. Too late, it's in writing.

[malaise]

24. What if the diamonds have nothing to do with an engagement?

What if your hubby of many years buys you a gorgeous pair of earrings - amethyst with diamonds





Some folks buy toys - cars, fancy phones, computers, tablets, etc.

I own very little jewelry but my hair is completely silver these days and those earrings look gorgeous. To each her/his own.

Oh I never wanted a diamond engagement ring.

[FreeJoe]

43. I'm not much of a fan of jewelry...

...but those look gorgeous!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. i got a moissanite engagement ring but i have estate diamonds that i like

although i prefer rubies/emeralds.

[Warpy]

27. My ex and I had better things to spend our money on

and we did. I've never particularly been into bling, but I told him if he ever got stumped for an Xmas gift and went for a ring, to make it green for Ireland or blue for my eyes.

I've been happily divorced for 28 years and have never missed having a diamond that he spent too much only on and that I'd never have liked. I buy my own damned jewelry and I pretty much stick to local NM rocks set in silver: lapis, turquoise, fossilized coral, azurite, malachite. I like them much better than bling.

[Dawson Leery]

28. Invest in your retirement, real estate, bonds, etc.

If it means something, buy a few silver coins and put them away for 30 years.

[malaise]

31. What about the money wasted on technology that will be obsolete in no time?

Put simply human beings with spare cash buy a whole lot of shite.

[JI7]

34. which technology ?

a lot of technology is useful for various reasons.

but i do agree about those who feel the need to be the first to buy the newest latest crap when what they already have is ok enough.

[malaise]

38. Smart phones, software

Remember when videos were the rave - record players. I love our tech stuff but when last have you used a video player or a record player? Likewise old computers have to be replaced,etc., etc. I'm betting you replaced the old TV with a flat screen.
I think the worst thing we ever bought was the micro-wave - we haven't used it in years because we prefer food cooked from scratch.

[JI7]

40. people use those things for things like cooking, entertainment etc

maybe you don't use the microwave but a lot of people do .

i haven't bought a flat screen yet but if i had money i might.

but a diamond is nothing more than just wanting to show off to others and impress them. i guess something like a television can be comparable if someone doesn't have much money and wants to impress people by buying an even bigger tv when they have one that is just fine.

[malaise]

44. May be true of engagement rings

but is it any less true for a BMW, Benz, etc.
I can't speak for anyone but I don't care who likes or dislikes my earrings and the diamonds are real tiny anyway - they won't impress anyone.

[JI7]

49. but most people who buy the bmw, benz etc have money

and they do it for themselves.

yeah, there are probably a few people who might actually like diamonds . but the point of the article is that much of it's success is due to the marketing campaign. and people feeling like it's worth saving up a few months work of income to buy that crap. that same pressure is not there for cars.

there might be someone who does save a lot of their money for a car but they will do it because of their own personal interest and enjoyment.

i would rather spend it on travel , restaurants, books etc.

[malaise]

57. Lots of folks who drive expensive cars can't really afford them

That said we used to travel a lot and we love good restaurants. We have way too many books and we will always find money for more.

Almost everything we think we need is due to marketing.

[Marie Marie]

85. I always said that what other women take in Carats - I'll take in Horsepower.

I'm a car enthusiast and would rather have a cool performance car. Made my husband very happy because he is a car nut too and we could enjoy it together. But even then, never wanted more car than I could afford. Spend on whatever brings you pleasure - as long as you don't spend beyond your means.

[malaise]

103. I agree with you

[No Vested Interest]

64. I use the microwave every day

sometimes I cook my breakfast oatmeal in it,
sometimes I warm water for a cup of herbal tea.
I think it must be 20-25 yrs old, and still doing well.

[GreenStormCloud]

71. I use the microwave several times per day.

Still have an old analog CRT TV. Haven't bought a flat-screen. Obviously don't have BLU-ray. Do have smart phone. Got rid of the land-line five years ago. One car is six years old, other one is 14 years old - both run well. Computer is two years old, wife's computer is about the same.

[hfojvt]

97. I watched a video probably two weeks ago

Actually I think I watched "To Kill a mockingbird" because it was being discussed on DU. I have a number of movies on video that I still do not have on DVD. Although the number of those is getting smaller and smaller as I get more DVDs.

I read an article probably ten years ago complaining about DVDs. It said something like - we know that film (or videos) will last for hundreds of years. But how do we know that in twenty years we will still be able to get DVD players (if the technology has moved past it).

Of course, by now, in twenty years, if I am lucky, I will be 71 and my movie collection might not seem all that important to me by then.

[Whisp]

30. I would rather have de beers than de rings. n/t

[Daemonaquila]

32. Already done.

When my husband proposed, he brought a fabulous handmade silver ring with no stone. When we got married, I got him a black hills gold ring and I got another handmade ring from the same artist, this time with a small cabochon sapphire in the sculpture. I think we both spent far less on rings than anyone we know, and we're perfectly happy with that. If he'd wasted a ton of cash on some stupid diamonds, I would've been really upset.

[Skittles]

33. I would never, ever wear one

well OK I don't wear ANY jewelry but it shocks me how many people fall for the diamond bullshit - just more proof how people are sheep

[ChairmanAgnostic]

36. I disagree. Diamonds are

Fantastic fine abrasives, on an industrial scale. In fine layers, they have unique electronic properties, they make superb surfaces for reflecting and refracting, and there are experiments where super fine diamonds act as very efficient catalysts.

[tridim]

41. I believe most industrial diamonds these days are synthetic, made in the lab.

Diamond is very useful, but if you grind up your engagement diamond it won't be worth much.

[arcane1]

45. They have a lot of useful properties, but they can be grown in a lab nowadays

Which takes away their "rarity" but spares a few African slaves.

[hunter]

46. I gave my wife a diamond that's been in our family a long time.

One of my nineteenth century ancestors traded California cheese for coffee and tea. He was one of the smart ones. He could buy diamonds for his nieces.

His idiot male relatives and in-laws chased gold and silver in the mines. One of my great grandfathers was an idiot mining engineer. He'd get fairly wealthy on one scheme, from Montana to Mexico, and then lose it all on the next.

He ended up dead, in the loser column.

His kid, my grandfather, ran away from home during one of the bad times and later joined the army air force. After World War II he became an engineer and made many of the titanium parts for the Apollo program.

That was real. Humans landed on the moon. Gold, silver, and diamonds as a measure of "value" are useless trinkets in comparison.

My parents are artists. I never learned to respect wealth or authority, which probably explains my current economic situation. But I've still got my soul.

[LittleBlue]

47. You'll say that until you marry a woman

Wait till you see the look on her face when you give her a diamond. A man doesn't buy a diamond expecting a return, the return is her affection.

[arcane1]

52. I married a woman back in the day, without a diamond.

Affection is much nicer when it's earned.

[XemaSab]

55. I consider myself straight

but there's always a possibility that I'll meet an amazing woman some day and propose to her.

[JI7]

60. diamonds wont win my affection

[AtheistCrusader]

83. I'm not in the business of buying affection.

My wife isn't in the business of selling it either.

[99Forever]

48. I'm about three decades...

... ahead of you.

Diamonds for jewelry are for fools.

But their use as a cutting tool, keeps them from being completely worthless.

[pipi_k]

53. So maybe it's not

exactly PC to admit to it, but I like sparkly things and I love my diamonds.

And Moissanite, which I think is even prettier than real diamonds.

But anyway, as far as I can tell, no guy who ever gave me a diamond (3 marriages, 2 broken engagements) looked like he was pressured into doing it. At least, certainly not by me.

And yes...I gave the two guys I broke up with their rings back...

Anyway, if we're going to do away with the societal pressure on guys to buy diamonds, then we might also want to do away with the idiotic idea that the only "right" way to have a wedding is to spend thousands of dollars on some big ass party where the bride gets to star in her childhood fantasy.

Often, the wedding costs aren't even paid for when the couple splits up. IMO, that's money that could have gone toward a down payment on a home. Or a new vehicle. Or into the bank for the inevitable "rainy day".

So. If there's anything more useless than a diamond, it's a stupid huge wedding where people get drunk and act like fools and the bride is deliriously happy that the florist finally got the roses in her bouquet to match her shoes.

[XemaSab]

59. +1

I think diamonds are gross, but spending $25K on one day of your life is almost morally reprehensible.

And expecting your guests to spend hundreds or thousands on "your day" is just rude.

Xema's not planning on getting married, but iffinwhen she does, it's going to be in the woods or on the beach and there's going to be a big campout for the guests. Food's going to be cooked on the grill and people can wear whatever they want.

It's my girlhood fantasy.

[LittleBlue]

69. You must have been a guest at my wedding!

Your description is uncanny in its accuracy.

[indie9197]

98. It's the American way!

Start your new marriage off by getting yourselves and the bride's family in debt up to the eyeballs! My daughter is getting married this fall and I am hating it. I wish they would just have eloped. But I am a cormudgeon now.

[hatrack]

54. Wouldn't giving an industrial diamond mean a hard-working wife?

You'd hope so . . .

[Posteritatis]

82. Maybe rubies would give a spouse laser capabilities... (nt)

[NuclearDem]

87. Oh, don't give me ideas.

[SheilaT]

61. For those of you who think diamonds

are bullshit, fine. Don't buy them. Don't wear them.

I happen to like jewelry of all kinds. Precious gems, semi-precious, gold, silver, copper, brass. All that stuff.

And a diamond ring will retain a hell of a lot more of its value than the dress and the $20,000 -- or more -- wedding reception.

[Zoeisright]

84. Me too.

I agree - the money spent on a wedding is completely ridiculous. Spend it on things that last.

[we can do it]

63. So are fucking never ending showers.

[ShadowLiberal]

65. I always thought the whole '3 month' salary = value of wedding ring is insane

I read that 3 months salary is the 'typical' value you should go for when getting a wedding ring, which I've always thought was an insane waste of money, even 1 month's salary is insane.

I make a base $60,000 a year, but with bonuses would probably make around $70,000 by the end of the year, which means a $15,000 to $17,500 ring. That's insane having a ring that's worth MORE then someone on minimum wage makes in an entire year, it makes the ring a great thing for thieves to steal and resell.

And then on the other side, if you're earning close to minimum wage and living pay check to pay check, $3,750 is a crazy amount to waste on a ring, especially if you're struggling to just to feed yourself and pay rent on your salary.

Honestly, I'd consider myself to be getting ripped off big time if I paid more then $1,000 per ring, despite the fact that I have well over $100,000 sitting around in my bank accounts.

[Revanchist]

66. We decided to recycle.

My wife's diamond is my Grandmother's reset into a modern setting when we were married.

[TheMadMonk]

70. 50%? Last I heard 300% is the standard retail markup...

...on jewelery.

How else do you think they can manage quarterly 50% off sales?

If you can't knock at least 30% off the price on the tag you aren't even beginning to try.

If you must have a diamond ring, buy loose stones from a reputable BROKER and pay a jeweler to mount them. Twice the bling for half the price and chicks really dig that sort of thing.

[ileus]

72. 1/3 ct engagement set

850 bucks....marriage 13 years and two kids. My wife still wears hers...less than one 1999 paycheck invested she was/ is easily worth it IMHO.

We did upgrade her wedding band a few years back for less than 500 bucks to give the set more shine.

[liberal_at_heart]

75. I think every couple has to decide for themselves what is important to them.

My husband and I were so poor I didn't even wear a wedding dress. He didn't wear a tux. But the one traditional thing we did do was get rings with the help of my father. He offered to help us with them. It's the one material thing that lasts more than just that one day. We've been married 19 years now and I love my ring. I could have done without it, but I am glad I have my ring. I do think that women in general put too much importance into the wedding ceremony. I guess you could include rings in that as well. The important part is the promise you make to be there for one another over the years. That's what counts.

[roamer65]

77. As our standard of living falls...

I think this habit will become much less common. Many of the younger generation are having to survive on low wage jobs and they are simply not going to spend the money on four figure engagement rings.

[taught_me_patience]

79. I wasted 10k on one

It sucked. Wife doesn't really care anymore about it. If it gets lost, there is no way in hell we'd replace it.

[Egalitarian Thug]

81. Why don't you sell it?

Even if you just buy an emerald or ruby with the money, at least you know it will appreciate.

(Estate quality only, most of the new stuff they're pulling out is crap)

[Ilsa]

88. What's the factor? 2-3 months salary?

It's ridiculous to be expected to spend 1/4 of your annual income on a stupid ring.

We got a diamond solitaire, but went cheap. We have no regrets.

[Wolf Frankula]

93. A Diamond is Just a Lump of Coal under Extreme Pressure

And Poor old De Beers never got a cent from the use of his name.

Wolf

[ChairmanAgnostic]

95. No, that was our previous president.

[Deep13]

94. Way ahead of you. nt

[trackfan]

96. My wife and I have been married 14 years without benefit of any rings,

engagement or wedding; we had the rare "no ring" ceremony. I think we're the normal ones, and maybe the rest of the world is nuts.

[No Vested Interest]

99. I treasure my engagement ring. We chose it together nearly 53 years ago.

The diamond is not large by today's standards; the setting is simple but pretty.

Jewelry is not important to me, so it never occurred to me to ask for a larger ring when we were able to afford it.
Instead of a ring, we raised a family, traveled, and created so many wonderful memories.

He's gone now over 3 years, and I treasure the ring as the gift of my young love.
I don't need any other jewel.

[Warren DeMontague]

100. And gold is just a shiny rock, and money is just paper tickets with elaborate designs on it.

Still, these things have value because people think they have value. Of course they're not "intrinsically" valuable. Food when you're starving, water in a desert- those things, arguably, have intrinsic value.

But thinking you're just going to explain people out of thinking things like diamonds are valuable doesn't display a very astute understanding of human nature.

[darkangel218]

101. Diamonds are not BS.

They're millions of years old. And quiet beautiful.

[DonCoquixote]

102. I prefer swarovski

http://www.swarovski.com/Web_US/en/index;sid=tn1NQkOPiEdLQhGPKy1JZCqFFPesGc9kGgBWNv7bnOHqiw==?BannerID=08001967.200

They are lovely examples of fine craft,and no one in Africa has to get KILLED for them.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

104. Right up there with super-glamorous weddings ...

... money that would be better spent on a house.

signed,
your dour uncle Scrooge

[Kablooie]

105. I thought De Beers wanted us to buy Budweiser.

Or was I thinking of smoked almonds?

[B Calm]

106. African diamonds are covered in blood and slave labor!

http://diamondnewsagency.com/african-diamonds-still-bloody

[Inkfreak]

107. Well, my wife loves em. And that ain't no bullshit. (nt)