‘The Onion’ Encourages Israel And Palestine Not To Give A Single, Goddamn Inch
As the ongoing conflict between Israelis and Palestinians once again threatens to intensify, the international community has called on both sides to come together and engage in peace talks. On Wednesday, leaders from both sides will meet face-to-face in Jerusalem for the first time in five years, to discuss the terms of a Palestinian state alongside Israel, the drawing of a secure border between the two nations, and the fate of Palestinian refugees.
Ahead of these meetings, The Onion would like to firmly and categorically urge both Israelis and Palestinians to stand tall and steadfastly refuse to give up so much as a single inch during the negotiations.
Israelis and Palestinians, you must accept nothing short of total victory against those who threaten your religion and way of life. Sacrificing just one of your ideals would at this point be tantamount to complete and utter failure.
If a settlement is built, you must attack it. If a settlement is attacked, you must rebuild it. Rocks must be met with bullets; bullets must be met with rocket fire; rocket fire must be met with helicopter assaults. This is the only noble way forward for either side.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-encourages-israel-and-palestine-not-to-g,33473/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1
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More and more The Onion is starting to sound real.
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