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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSomething different on a Sunday afternoon, giving away a bride...
First I want to say that I've tried all of my daughter's life to foster confidence and independence in both thought and deeds. I'm so very proud of her as a woman of integrity and strength, I fear my heart will burst when she exchanges vows.
When she marries next Sunday, I will be giving her away and I'm having trouble reconciling the implied notion that one has to own something to be given away and when something is given in ownership, it is received likewise.
What to do? What can I say that won't feel trite or sound like an anti-misogynistic diatribe?
Her mother and I give our blessings?
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)What does she want you to do?
If you're just walking her down the aisle, give her a hug when you get there, and then give her partner a hug.
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)It is a not very religious ceremony (if anything it will be wiccan), but she wants to be observant of tradition. The party will be in highland attire and the bride piped in to the ceremony and the couple piped into the reception.
I talked to her about it a little and surprisingly she hadn't thought about the implications, but she feels the ceremony needs something at the point where the bride is given.
Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)It's the father's acknowledgement that it's his
time to let her go.
A poignant crossing indeed. You might want
to cry your head off between now and then.
cbayer
(146,218 posts)hootinholler
(26,449 posts)The people on my commuter bus have been wondering why I'm tearing up on the ride.
Thanks for that affirmation though, it really does help.
Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)you might be able to keep it together next Sunday.. wishing you great joy
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)Thanks for your wishes!
winter is coming
(11,785 posts)I suggest, "Her mother and I."
Arctic Dave
(13,812 posts)It's about seeing her go to a new chapter of her life.
leveymg
(36,418 posts)You'll always have her love. That was earned many years ago.
Here's to Proud Dads and Beautiful Daughters!
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)I owe you a phone call, I kinda got overtaken by events. We'll have to have a scotch in September.
leveymg
(36,418 posts)Enjoy the wedding and all that goes with it!
cbayer
(146,218 posts)crying just thinking about it.
I do feel like I am giving him away, or more accurately, letting him go.
It is amazingly poignant for me and I'm not sure how I will get through the ceremony.
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)Then it all sort of hit me. This has hit me harder than the birth of my granddaughter.
I know you are a strong woman and you may be bleary eyed, but you will enjoy the moment, I'm sure.
cbayer
(146,218 posts)your daughter and her intended.
I adore my incoming daughter in law (and her family, who I have gotten to know over the past year).
It will be a tough contest over who cries most - her father or me.
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)I really do have good feelings about the match.
coffeenap
(3,173 posts)She walks in alone, you and her mom meet her in the front, kiss her, then send her on her way alone to meet her groom.
Hope it's a wonderful day for you!
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)but i still wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle and 'give' me away, there was no implication that i was property to be passed on.
if that is what she wants, then that is what you should do. it was a very special moment for me and if she's a daddy's girl like me, it will be the same for her.
congratulations to the happy couple.
winter is coming
(11,785 posts)I think how you feel about this is probably related to what sort of relationship you've got with your family. Not everyone draws a lucky number in the family sweepstakes.
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)To screw them up in completely different ways than I was screwed up
They're always amused when I point that out.
winter is coming
(11,785 posts)LWolf
(46,179 posts)my sons walked me down the aisle, one on either side, and then stood at the altar (no attendants at that wedding,) one on either side.
They weren't there to "give me away." They were there to witness, to participate, and, most of all to support me.
Eleven years later when the marriage ended, they were there again. They were there to move all of my stuff out, to fix up the new place, to hold me when I cried, and to help me get up and move forward.
It's a quaint phrase..."to give away." We never, though, give away those we love. It's time that the phrase, and the intent, evolves.
You can say that you are there, as always, to love and support her, and to walk forward into the next stage of her life with her.
pnwmom
(108,975 posts)is having both you and your wife walk in the procession with your daughter (and the same for the groom and his parents). This is how it's done in the Jewish tradition, and it's also strongly encouraged in Catholic weddings.
Chiyo-chichi
(3,578 posts)something like: "She comes of her own accord with the blessings of her mother and me."
MadrasT
(7,237 posts)Thanks for sharing that
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)Well done.