One of the best, most truthful articles the Onion (or *anyone*) has ever done: CNN/Miley Cyrus

[HomerRamone]

One of the best, most truthful articles the Onion (or *anyone*) has ever done:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/let-me-explain-why-miley-cyrus-vma-performance-was,33632/

"By Meredith Artley, Managing Editor Of CNN.com"

There was nothing, and I mean nothing, about that story that related to the important news of the day, the chronicling of significant human events, or the idea that journalism itself can be a force for positive change in the world. For Christ’s sake, there was an accompanying story with the headline “Miley’s Shocking Moves.” In fact, putting that story front and center was actually doing, if anything, a disservice to the public. And come to think of it, probably a disservice to the hundreds of thousands of people dying in Syria, those suffering from the current unrest in Egypt, or, hell, even people who just wanted to read about the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech.

But boy oh boy did it get us some web traffic. Which is why I, Meredith Artley, managing editor of CNN.com, put the story in our top spot. Those of us watching on Google Analytics saw the number of homepage visits skyrocket the second we put up that salacious image of Miley Cyrus dancing half nude on the VMA stage. But here’s where it gets great: We don’t just do a top story on the VMA performance and call it day. No, no. We also throw in a slideshow called “Evolution of Miley,” which, for those of you who don’t know, is just a way for you to mindlessly click through 13 more photos of Miley Cyrus. And if we get 500,000 of you to do that, well, 500,000 multiplied by 13 means we can get 6.5 million page views on that slideshow alone. Throw in another slideshow titled “6 ‘don’t miss’ VMA moments,” and it’s starting to look like a pretty goddamned good Monday, numbers-wise. Also, there are two videos—one of the event and then some bullshit two-minute clip featuring our “entertainment experts” talking about the performance

<...>

So, as managing editor of CNN.com, I want our readers to know this: All you are to us, and all you will ever be to us, are eyeballs. The more eyeballs on our content, the more cash we can ask for. Period. And if we’re able to get more eyeballs, that means I’ve done my job, which gets me congratulations from my bosses, which encourages me to put up even more stupid bullshit on the homepage

<...>

To be sure, I could have argued that Miley Cyrus’ performance merited the top spot on our website because it was significant in terms of what’s happening in the world of pop culture, or that her over-the-top theatrics are worth covering because they are somehow representative of the lengths to which performers must go to stand out in the current entertainment landscape. But who the fuck are we kidding? Truth be told, anything at last night’s VMAs short of Lady Gaga beheading Will Smith with a broadsword belongs tucked away in our entertainment section, far from the homepage, far from the top spot, and far from the eyes of anyone who logged on to our site this morning to see what was happening in the world. But then not nearly as many people would have seen it, which wouldn’t get us the page views we want, which wouldn’t get us the money we want, which wouldn’t get me the congratulations I want. So you see, there’s no stopping this. And what is this, you ask? Modern-day journalism. And what is modern-day journalism? Getting you to click on this link ( http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/26/showbiz/music/miley-cyrus-mtv-vmas-gaga/ ).

[tanyev]

1. (sidebar) Study: Americans Enjoy Watching TV, Eating

[trof]

9. Sometimes simultaneously.

[Kber]

2. I'm confused

I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire.

[BlueStreak]

3. They have given up trying to do satire. No matter how ironic they try to be

some yahoo invariably does exactly the preposterous thing they described in their satire.

[CSStrowbridge]

11. It's Poe's Law

"Satire doesn't stand a chance against reality anymore." Jules Feiffer said it in 1959 and it is more true today.

[Lordquinton]

14. Tom Lehrer retired from satire

after Kissenger won the Nobel Peace Prize, declaring that it couldn't be topped.

[Yavin4]

4. Methinks the HBO show, "Newsroom", is making an impression on real news people

and it's a good thing.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. There is truth to this

Cute dog stories, especially cute dog stories involving a forever home and a successful rescue... get more eyes than you know what to do with. A story about the County Fire Authority, that will directly affect you, or covering any of the fire boards deciding the fate of fire coverage, is a snoozer.

A story on the insert number here woman who claimed Filner assaulted her, harassed her, et al (still an allegation until we see a court of law), will get eyes on screen. A story involving the rest of the onion, not so much.

[Initech]

6. Holy crap, did Jeff Daniels' character on The Newsroom write this?

[BlueJazz]

7. I see that if Meredith Artley's class was a piece of paper, it would only have one side.

I wonder how it feels to be known in your chosen field as a "Shallow Hack"

[ewagner]

8. The Movie: NETWORK. 1975

All predicted...all a natural outgrowth of the vast wasteland that is television

[malaise]

10. Brilliant

Rec

[Curmudgeoness]

12. "But who the fuck are we kidding."

Best "quote" in the article.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

13. Saw it. It was no big deal.

[IronLionZion]

15. To be fair, the top spot does change many times a day.

CNN currently has Syria of course, with Everyday Racism personal stories underneath it.

We have the power to influence this by clicking on the types of stories we want to see more of, and promoting them on social media like DU.