Bang. On. OBAMA PROMISES SYRIA STRIKE WILL HAVE NO OBJECTIVE

[kpete]

OBAMA PROMISES SYRIA STRIKE WILL HAVE NO OBJECTIVE
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attempting to quell criticism of his proposal for a limited military mission in Syria, President Obama floated a more modest strategy today, saying that any U.S. action in Syria would have “no objective whatsoever.”

“Let me be clear,” he said in an interview on CNN. “Our goal will not be to effect régime change, or alter the balance of power in Syria, or bring the civil war there to an end. We will simply do something random there for one or two days and then leave.”

“It may take twenty-four hours, but it could also take twelve,” Mr. Carney said.

“Maybe we get in there, take a look around, and get out right away. But however long it takes, one thing will not change: this mission will have no point. The President is resolute about that.”


http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/08/obama-promises-syria-strike-will-have-no-objective.html?currentPage=all
via:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/08/30/1235004/-Andy-Borowitz-Nails-Syria-Even-Better

[Cal Carpenter]

1. I will take my chances

and be the first to rec this.

The first time I got a smile outta this sad nightmare.

[Ghost Dog]

5. Seconded.

:wry grin:

[Jefferson23]

2. That's certain: this mission will have no point. The President is resolute about that.”

What an understatement.

[avaistheone1]

10. Spot on.

It's gallows humor. And it sure underscores the reality of it all.

[Hydra]

3. *lmao*

I swear, this stuff writes itself. Anything from the Daily Show? I've been swamped at work all week.

[lark]

11. Daily Show's not on the last few days.

Too bad, they'd eat this up and make us spew with laughter.

[Avalux]

4. Hmmm. The public is told is what the public is told.

What's going on in the background that isn't told is what will eventually come to light when Assad's top peeps are neutralized.

[Cryptoad]

9. Maybe Snowden

will have a release on it soon, heh?

[KittyWampus]

6. yeah, pretty much nails it to the wall. Funny, cause it's true.

[tkmorris]

7. That's hilarious

Yeah I know, there is nothing about this situation that should be funny, but what can ya do?

[Cryptoad]

8. Thank you Mr President!

for being deliberate and not getting us into the civil war!

[ConservativeDemocrat]

12. BOROWITZ

...writes satire. And often times he does it badly.

However, what is truly hilarious is when partisan lunatics actually imagine his satire is real.
Usually these are teabaggers. Sometimes not.

- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

[caseymoz]

13. I feel better already.

For while there, I thought we were going to get into another pointless conflict, kill thousands of people, stay for a dozen years, and never accomplish any of our shifting objectives.

For saving us gratuitous embarrassment for our war crimes, Obama is to be congratulated.

[iamthebandfanman]

14. So Satire about war

= Funny.

Putting a winky face in your post while discussing war ...

youre an evil war monger who thinks war is a joke and doesn't care about human life what so ever and are clearly taking this way to lightly..


check.

[bvar22]

15. BOROWITZ nails it again.

Biting satire.

[Douglas Carpenter]

16. Perhaps George W. Bush's greatest accomplishment for which humanity owes him a great debt of

gratitude is that he made the American public so sick of war that even an orchestrated campaign by the entire mainstream media from the New York Times to Fox News and supported by the mainstream leadership of both political parties cannot sell imperial war in the Middle East anymore. Praise the Lord and Alhamdulillah!

[Douglas Carpenter]

17. knr

[gopiscrap]

18. wow then why?

[Douglas Carpenter]

19. another kick for the most intellectually honest article I have read all week