No head? No Heart? No problem! Please come PROVIDE A READING FROM Rush Limbaugh's tome!!!

[skip fox]

Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims, Chapter One, page 1.:

Rush Revere had been raised on The Bible and clean laundry. He never tried to stick his foot in his mouth, and he didn't tickle other boys. One bright morning at the groaning table, Rush asked his dimpled mother, "Why do the other kids make fun of me all the time?"

Mrs. Revere looked kindly down at her son and said, "Because they're jealous of you always being right."

Cute, chunky Rush then asked, "May I please have some more corporal punishment? . . . Please??"

Mrs. Revere slowly spread he hands over her wide belly beneath the apron and replied, "Finish your breakfast first dear. There's three platefuls of sausage left and two dozen hardboiled eggs, beside the tub of oatmeal. . . . Your father will be down soon."

Plump as Puddin' Rush was overjoyed. "Maybe he'll use the heft-mallet this time!"

Chuckling, Mrs. Revere quipped, "You can never tell, dear."

[CrispyQ]

1. Holy shit, I thought this was a joke.

http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/09/06/rush-limbaugh-pens-childrens-book-about-first-thanksgiving/

Conservative radio star Rush Limbaugh’s new children’s book, due out this fall, tells that classic elementary school lesson of America’s founders–led by a new character: “Rush Revere.”


snip...

Limbaugh added that Rush Revere focuses on the “miraculous story, the blessings of God and any number of other things that led to the founding of this country,” and is intended for all ages.

“Twenty-four-year-old women who are afraid of me will be able to read this book to one of their kids someday, when they have them, without fear,” he said.

In the story, Rush Revere and his talking horse Liberty travel to the deck of the Mayflower and learn about the role the pilgrims played in America’s founding.


snip...


Limbaugh said the book, which will also be released in eBook and audio book formats, aims to teach children what isn’t being taught in school. ”There’s not a political agenda. This is just the truth. This is just history.”

Let’s just hope Limbaugh’s telling of history won’t be anything like Rep. Steve King’s retelling of Western civilization on the House floor in July.

Rush Limbaugh writing children's books?

[skip fox]

2. Chapter 2, p. 5, 3rd full paragraph:

"So the teacher," Rush said, his cheeks bubbling about his jowls, "told me I would have to be punished for that. And I said, 'Oh, boy!' and I was stripped to the nub, bald as a nut the next second. . . . But he didn't know what I meant. . . . He made me put all my clothes back on and stand in the corner all afternoon. . . . Well, Dad, I wondered, 'just what is this country coming to if they call that punishment."

Mr. Revere, flexing his fists beneath tight gloves, replied, "Get over here, wad, and bring the grafter-hook!"