Pastor Refuses to Marry Couple an Hour Before Ceremony Because Bride’s Dress is Too Sexy

[SecularMotion]

Apostle Michael Canty of the Truth Ministries Holiness Church recently refused to marry a couple mere hours before the ceremony was to be performed. His reasoning? The bride’s dress was too sexy:

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The wedding scheduled Saturday, August 10th, was scheduled for 3pm. At 2pm, the pastor greeted the bride and groom when he noticed the bride’s dress. According to the bride’s mother, the pastor jokingly asked ‘where is the other half of the dress?’ Not thinking anything of it, the family laughed it off and continued applying make-up on the bride. Around 2:30pm the pastor asked a leader of the church to ask the bride and the family about the other part of her dress. The bride informed the leader ‘this is it’. The leader reported the news to the pastor and then the pastor informed personally the bride and groom at separate times he could not perform the wedding with the bride in her selected dress. The pastor told the bride she would have to cover up her breast area and find a way to add length to the dress. The bride informed the pastor there is no way to accomplish this with so short of a notice and she has to wear her dress. Then the pastor informed her he would not be able to perform the ceremony then walked back to his office.

It is no secret that religions tend to preach “modesty” to women, but this is downright ridiculous. Wedding days are supposed to be a celebration of a couple, not an opportunity to be slut-shamed by a pastor.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/09/10/pastor-refuses-to-marry-couple-an-hour-before-ceremony-because-brides-dress-is-too-sexy/

[liberal_at_heart]

1. He should have to pay for all the other services that they had already paid for such as catering

and flowers.

[JimDandy]

36. Absolutely. Small claims case waiting to happen. n/t

[get the red out]

2. I guess he was expecting something else

Like maybe the Burqa model or something.

[B Calm]

3. One more reason to go to the court house and get married!

[kiva]

4. The couple chose the church,

they chose the minister - when you choose to bring religion into a situation, then you are choosing to play by their rules. Stop worrying about having a cool backdrop for your wedding pics, or whether your families will be pissed off about your not getting a church blessing, and just go to the courthouse instead.

And the article is wrong - if you choose to marry in a church, I can promise you it's not about the couple it's about the church marrying the couple and making them promise to follow the church's strictures.

[liberal_at_heart]

5. Have you ever seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? They seem to find pastors willing to marry them.

[kiva]

7. Haven't seen it,

maybe this couple should have asked the show for the names of those pastors

[Jesus Malverde]

16. Looks interesting

[Xithras]

48. Wondered that myself.

They chose to marry in a conservative church and then complained when it stood by its conservative values? I'm no fan of conservative churches, but it seems to me that they dug this hole themselves.

[indepat]

6. When you got it, flaunt it, and when you are really gorgeous and got it, really flaunt it

[WinkyDink]

58. In a church?

[indepat]

60. Where ever appropriate: surely the good Lord would have no problem with this gorgeous creature he

created flaunting her right stuff on maybe the happiest day of her life.

[BlueStreak]

8. Marriage is a religious ceremony, after all

I don't blame the pastor if he feels that a skanky dress is offensive to the church he represents. She can go to the courthouse and get married in a secular procedure.

[blueamy66]

23. I agree.

The dress is not appropriate for any church wedding.

Go see a Justice of the Peace.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

42. nope, not according to Mae West.

[BlueStreak]

45. I don't think I'd look to Mae West as the arbiter of etiquette.

While everybody has a right to their own beliefs, that doesn't change the fact that religions are private clubs. They are within their rights to uphold their own bylaws if there is no illegal discrimination. And there is not law that puts a skank in a ridiculous dress into a protected class.

Why would she even want to be involved with a church in the first place?

Was this Our Lady of Immaculate Hotties?

[Ilsa]

53. ITA. Churches are more like social clubs.

You have to agree to accept concepts about religion and agree to follow its prescribed behavior, including modesty. She blew it.

This isn't "slut-shaming". She is perfectly able to wear that dress in a secular ceremony. It wasn't appropriate for a conservative church.

Women used to wear bolero jackets over their strapless wedding gowns. I guess that's passé.

[Auggie]

52. Marriage is only a religious ceremony when someone makes it a religious ceremony

[BlueStreak]

56. Yes, I guess I should have said "church marriage". We have a terminology problem

It would be a whole lot better if the legal process were called something else, and all rights and benefits related to government and laws were associated with that other term. Then "marriage" could simply be the church procedure that has no standing outside the church, like a bar mitzvvah. If a bar mitzvah is important to a family, have at it, but it has no legal standing outside the synagogue.

I was married by the mayor of a small nearby town, with the ceremony performed in a public park. I have no desire to impose that choice upon anybody else and will never understand why some church people insist that their's is the only acceptable solution.

[Hekate]

9. The family obviously did not understand this church's teachings. They get no sympathy from me.

You got this from a site called "friendly atheist"? Super. They don't get to tell an individual church what their standards are.

Inside a church, temple, synagogue, grove, or other holy precincts, weddings are not solely "a celebration of a couple" but a sacrament. Couples should go over what that means with the priest, rabbi, or minister. Those who don't get that can choose to be married elsewhere by someone who shares their own beliefs, whatever those may be. Nudist colonies do it and no one looks twice. Beaches, parks, all offer lovely venues where you can dress as you please.

That dress is great for Saturday night, if she can keep her boobs from falling out while reaching for her martini. Maybe that's what makes it so great.

It's not slut-shaming to say that it is not appropriate wear for church the next morning, or for teaching in a public school, or interviewing for a serious job opportunity, or any number of other things.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

19. double sided tape works wonders. As do bandaids to keep the nipples from

being called "outstanding"

Hey, working behind the scenes in theater teaches you a lot!

[Hekate]

37. LOLZ

Now that's the right attitude.

[Katashi_itto]

10. Good God! Lucky guy...!

[bunnies]

15. Thats not the bride. Its a model.

Its the ad from the dress maker.

[1awake]

11. Maybe be more selective in who you hire?

I've been married twice, and the second time, not belonging to any church (recent move), I found a pastor on the net in my area... there was no shortage of people willing to make a deal. I told him where to be and what the service would look like. He gave his ideas of wording and ceremonies to choose from. It was great, right on the beach.

I guess what I'm saying is know who your hiring.

[KittyWampus]

12. the only thing that would make the dress less tasteful would be if it were made of pleather.

[bunnies]

18. Agreed.

Who in the world would think its appropriate for church of all things?!

[vankuria]

27. Or if the bride

doesn't look like the model in the photo. The dress is very sexy and a look that would be hard to pull off unless you have a perfectly toned body like the model in the photo.

I'm speculating this bride did not and choosing a dress that's inappropriate for church was only made worse by a bride with extremely poor taste and judgement.

[last1standing]

13. Sounds to me like this woman was trying to bend the church to her will.

As another poster commented, these people chose to get married in the church, the church did not ask them to get married there. Just as I wouldn't go into a Wendy's and demand KFC, I wouldn't hire a church to perform a service where I stood in front of the altar wearing revealing clothing. Whether I agree with the rules or not, it's their house so they make the rules. Either abide by them or leave.

[hedgehog]

14. His church, his rules!

Too many show up for a church wedding not out of any religious belief, but because it makes a great background for the photos and/or to keep the parents happy!

[denverbill]

17. I wouldn't exactly call this a slut-shaming.

That dress is way over the top for a church wedding, IMO. Frankly, the only places that dress would not be out of place is at a music awards show and a strip club. You sure as hell couldn't wear that to work anyplace I can think of, and if you couldn't wear it to work, why expect a minister to allow it in his church.

Personally, I think this was a stunt by the girl to get publicity, like the high school girl with the revealing yearbook picture who made a stink for being excluded from her yearbook.

[bunnies]

20. I wonder why they didnt use a photo of the REAL bride.

We should see what the pastor saw, shouldnt we?

[PowerToThePeople]

21. just because

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

22. Note: This is not the actual bride

This is a photograph from the catalog where the dress was sold. Also note that neither the bride or the groom were members of this church, which was established just 14 months ago. If there was some sort of "dress code" for this church, the pastor really should have let them know it advance.

[bunnies]

25. I wonder why she refused to send photos of herself.

Maybe its even skankier than pictured?

‘there were small alterations made to the dress to fit more desirably to my vision.’

http://www.americapreachers.com/christian-news/pastor-refuses-to-perform-ceremony-because-of-brides-sexy-dress/

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

28. The photo they submitted may have been the tasteful version (nt)

[BlueStreak]

46. My guess is that if you saw the real bride in that dress, it would be a sin

[Uncle Joe]

24. Funny, because that pic almost makes me want to get married.

Thanks for the thread, SecularMotion.

[markpkessinger]

26. The Pastor was a douche, but he was within his rights . .

. . . No clergy person is ever required to perform any wedding whatsoever, and is thus free to impose whatever conditions he or she (or the particular church) sees fit. And what's more, you really shouldn't want them to be required to perform weddings, because that would enable them to argue that, for example, marriage equality represents "religious oppression," since the state could then theoretically require churches to perform gay weddings. Of course, the state cannot do that, and nor can it require clergy to perform weddings, nor prevent particular churches from imposing whatever requirements they deem appropriate on any weddings they choose to perform.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

30. These people were probably not church-goers...

He had the chance to use it as a "teachable moment" and possible win converts to his new ministry. He chose instead to stick to his rules, which was his right, and lose the moment.

Bear in mind, however, that if he accepted money for the use of the church and then refused the wedding (without informing the couple that there was a dress code) they might have grounds to sue him for the financial losses they suffered.

[Major Nikon]

62. That may not stop him from being sued

As long as the couple complied with whatever agreements were in place the church could get sued for breach of contract and rightfully so. They are free to impose whatever lawful restrictions they want, but not to arbitrarily change them mid-stream.

[HappyMe]

29. That is kind of crappy.

On the other hand, if her family attended this church or any church, they could have clued her in that her dress would not be appropriate for a church service.

[Egalitarian Thug]

31. Religion and a need to coerce other people into conformity go hand in hand.

No sympathy for all the whining. You pays your money and you takes your chances.

[LadyHawkAZ]

32. Ya can't blame the good reverend. She was obviously asking for it.

Just look at the way she was dressed!

( for the impaired)

[Jenoch]

33. I agree with those that say

that particular dress is not appropriate for a church wedding. I don't personally think it is a dress for any sort of wedding. If the woman wearing such a dress can pull it off as well as the model does, it's a great dress to go clubbing.

[BlueStreak]

47. That is a big "if"

One woman in 1000 is going to look good in that dress.

[NaturalHigh]

34. There are plenty of wedding chapels around.

It's up to the church and the pastor to decide what guidelines must be followed for the ceremony inside this particular church. I would hardly call that "slut-shaming."

[La Lioness Priyanka]

35. maybe they should have paid attention to churches doctrine

the pastor had the right to do this, if this is what they preached.

[FreeState]

49. They aren't members of the congregation

They hired him to preform the service at the Church. He should have told them that there were dress standards etc., since it was he that was offering a public service.

[Hekate]

50. The minister probably assumed that anyone asking to be wed inside a church would know better....

... and not be such a blockhead.

He's probably writing up something as we speak:

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Here's a few things you should take into consideration when considering a wedding in our sanctuary...

35 years ago I was a part time secretary for the local Unity Church, which did a thriving business in its wedding chapel, as Santa Barbara is conveniently located on the 101 freeway between Los Angeles and San Luis Obispo, on the way to San Francisco. I don't think they left anything to chance when people scheduled weddings there, although honestly....

[FarCenter]

38. Maybe another several hundred in the collection plate would have done the trick...

[LittleBlue]

39. Was the Vera Wang bikini not available?

Obviously the pastor can refuse marriage for whatever reason, and this reason isn't mysterious or unexpected. No one should have to tell the bride that her outfit might be deemed inappropriate by a pastor.

[Orrex]

40. That sinful woman probably knows how to read, too. Shocking!

[tammywammy]

41. It was up to the pastor

I went and read the original article and this popped out at me:

After hearing how the bride was crying her eyes out in the back, a minister who was a guest at the wedding offered to perform the ceremony. When the minister asked the pastor for permission to perform the ceremony, the pastor told him ‘no’ and expressed to him how his request was disrespectful.
http://www.americapreachers.com/christian-news/pastor-refuses-to-perform-ceremony-because-of-brides-sexy-dress/?fb_action_ids=573383712720119&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%22573383712720119%22%3A193953987442123%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22573383712720119%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

So the article says they had food at her aunt's house for a reception. There was a minister as a guest. Why not just perform the ceremony at the aunt's house? It says two days later they still aren't married. That just doesn't make sense - there was a backup minister as a guest.

Strange story, but if you're going to wear a "sexy" and "unique" wedding dress, you might wanna run it past the church where you're marrying at.

[JVS]

43. If you want to be married in the Truth Ministries Holiness Church, you play by their rules.

[jmowreader]

44. Pretty dress...if you're going to a nightclub

I wonder why "someone run down to David's Bridal quick and get me a white floor-length gown, my measurements are x-x-x and height is y" never occurred to these people."

I also wonder why they chose a Christian Taliban church then got surprised when the preacher went all Mullah Omar on them.

[VanillaRhapsody]

51. With that dress....might I suggest Las Vegas with Elvis officiating!

[Rowdyboy]

54. No sympathy from me. They had options-they chose not to take them. When you are a guest

you behave appropriately or you leave, same as here on DU.

The dress was fine for a secular wedding but not for a church wedding, especially that of a fundamentalist church. If my partner and I were ever to marry, I wouldn't choose a Holiness, Catholic, southern Baptist or Pentecostal church because I have enough sense to know we would be unwelcome. I'd pick an Episcopal, UU, MCC or another welcoming congregation. More likely I'd select an outdoor setting with a secular officiant

http://www.inquisitr.com/929238/houston-pastor-refuses-to-marry-couple-because-brides-dress-was-too-sexy/

"Neither Lisa Washington nor her fiancé were members of the church. Holiness churches generally have a very strict dress code and forbid the use of make-up and nail polish, jewelry, and the like. Skirts and dresses have to fall below the knees and shirts typically have to be long-sleeved. Many Holiness churches identify themselves as Pentecostal, which has its roots in the holiness movement of the late 1800s and early 1900s."

[HockeyMom]

55. South Florida Beach Weddings

Don't go there. You will not like it.

[WinkyDink]

57. I watch "Say Yes to the Dress," and am continually amazed at the "stripper" designs chosen.

[Niceguy1]

59. idiots

They should have known better. And at leadt have asked at the practice. ...usually the dress codes are no secret...

[SoCalDem]

61. It's a perfect dress

for a 3AM Vegas wedding

[Lancero]

63. Misogyny

is out in full force today.


You know what is wrong with this dress? Nothing. It's a dress. It's not about making a statement, or about the kind of person she is. It's her wearing a dress that she thinks looks good on what she hopes will be one of the best days in her life.

The dress doesn't send a message - It's the misogynists and perverts who are saying that it does, and it is they who are making up the message.

[The Straight Story]

65. I was gonna say she looked pretty and was gonna hold the door for her

but then remembered where I was and that both were sins.

[Alamuti Lotus]

64. I can almost see his point: a Pastor with an erection makes for an awkward ceremony...

[tavernier]

66. My guess is that the real bride outweighed the model

and was attempting to put a ten pound sausage into a five pound bag (as goes the old saying).

I don't know why I think this, but that's the only vision that enters my mind. Sort of a "Honey Boo Boo family wedding".