How to get your sexual orientation changed in one easy step

[jmowreader]

Today I was stopped at a red light in the ultra redneck burg of Post Falls, Idaho. These two idiots in a 70s-era pickup that's got a red cab, blue door, black quarterpanel and white bed pulled up beside me and started screaming at me.

"Hey Fag. Yeah, you. In the blue fag car."

Apparently a fag car is one that's all the same color. But they kept on with this shit as I sat there...and then they started taking pictures with their cellphones.

Wrong answer. I simply reached over to my fag car's passenger seat, picked up my Nikon F4 (a very large 35mm camera), put it on its loudest motor setting, held it up to the window and hit the shutter button. All of a sudden I wasn't a "fag" anymore.

"You mother fucker, why the fuck did you take my picture?"

Fortunately, the light turned green before they could continue.

[Cooley Hurd]

1. Why did they target you? Bumper stickers?

What a weird exchange! Glad you're okay!!!

[Bay Boy]

2. Wait a minute!

You have a 35mm camera? Is this Back to the Future?

[jmowreader]

9. I will NEVER buy a digital camera

At work we have two of the top pro Nikons for one of our photographers, two of the top pro Canons for the other one, a string of formerly-top cameras for our reporters...and our people, well trained and experienced, can't get a picture that's in focus no matter what. And digital cameras blow out the highlights.

A couple months ago I was looking at a National Geographic. They have gone all-digital, and every picture in the book was out of focus.

On the other hand, my trusty, ancient F4 loaded with the cheap-ass Fuji 200 they sell at Fred Meyer will create a picture so sharp you can shave with it. And the computerr virus that can corrupt a negative can't be invented.

[Bay Boy]

14. They still make and sell film?

And seriously, I figured they didn't make it anymore.

[jmowreader]

16. Slide film is down to a couple Fuji pro emulsions

That's more than fine - Fuji Velvia had more to do with the death of Kodachrome than digital did. If you were to ask a Kodachrome shooter for his wish list, he'd say finer grain, better light stability, easier scanning (Kodachrome is a living bitch to scan) and easier processing. All of that you got with Velvia. It's still available...and if Cibachrome paper, which is for printing from slides, was still available I'd have a freezer full of Velvia.

There are two companies making color negative film and quite a few making black & white.

In color neg, Fuji basically owns the consumer space - if you go to a regular store and buy some film, it's almost certainly going to be Fuji.

In pro neg, there are a couple of Fuji emulsions and four Kodak emulsions. Kodak still has a HUGE business in motion picture film, and if you can make cine capture film you can make color neg for still photography.

Most black & white film is made in countries that used to be communist. B&W film was one of the few things the communists did well; my portfolio has several pictures made on East German ORWO film.

But yes, film is still widely available.

[Bay Boy]

18. Well I prefer my Velvia...

...between two slices of toasted whole wheat bread, often with a thin slice of ham.

[LuvNewcastle]

3. I can't imagine what a "fag car" is.

Every time I go to the gay bar, there's all sorts of cars parked around it. I've heard people say that Miatas are stereotypical cars for gay men, but I've never known a gay man who owned one. I'd like to know why they thought that about your car.

[Warpy]

7. It was all the same color, silly

This was more about class than sexual orientation. The good ole boys in the multicolor pickup are marginal workers and no hopers, not good enough at academics for higher education and not valued for the unskilled but highly necessary work they do. They've got a lot of company out there but, being morons, will always fail to unite with others in the same fix and try to better their situations.

"Fag" was simply the worst insult they could hurl. And the OP pulled a bigger gun (a camera, thankfully) and it was enough to intimidate them.

[LuvNewcastle]

10. Your right, some people just use "fag" as a general insult to

anybody they don't like or think that they might not like. I had forgotten that some people do that shit. Fortunately for me, it's been a long while since I've encountered anyone like that.

[jmowreader]

17. If you're a North Idaho redneck, I think "fag car" is "any car that's not like mine"

I drive a Saab. Sweden has just as many manly occupations as North Idaho does (and they're the same manly occupations - lots of farming, logging and mining there) so...I have no idea.

[TeamPooka]

4. Hate doesn't make them stupid. They are just stupid. Well done. NT

[JohnnyLib2]

5. Calling Charlie Daniels---"Uneasy Rider"

Hey, I'm old.

Great story!

[Pretzel_Warrior]

6. I live a few miles from there in Spokane. I can easily imagine the scene. Did you have Obama sticker

or was it a Prius? Help us understand why these inbred rednecks might have targeted you?

[jmowreader]

11. No Obama sticker, and obviously you haven't braved I-90 East

Cd'A is one of the few places on earth you can see a Prius with a teabagger flag sticker on it. Most of the world sees Prius as a way to save the planet; here, they are a way to legally evade taxes.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

12. I've been over to Coeur D'Alene a few times. I hadn't noticed priuses

However, I saw one brave soul in a Starbucks parking lot in Spokane Valley. Had a Prius just absolutely plastered with Obama bumper stickers, slogans about health care, etc. etc. Nicely done.

[fletchthedubs]

19. I knew a few people is post falls

Cda and post falls are nice towns but the redneck element is strong there. Close enough to sand point for that kind of behavior to be thought of as ok by locals.

[Boom Sound 416]

20. Great story

Glad you're ok