My poor daughter in law! Criticized in Starbucks for "covering up too much" while breastfeeding!

[CTyankee]

This in a liberal, Northeastern Ivy League town!

Apparently, this woman came up to her and asked why she wasn't proudly showing more of herself nursing her 8 month old and the happiest baby on this earth, IMO!). Something about being "ashamed."

My d.i.l. is too polite but if I had been there, I wouldn't be!

What is the deal with people not minding their own business when they see a mom nursing?

[TransitJohn]

1. Sounds like something out of Portlandia. eom

n/t

[CTyankee]

3. doesn't it, but it is not...

just a couple of weeks ago, she was approached in an Aqua Babies class. A woman demanded to know why the baby hadn't had the class earlier in his dear little life.

[Turbineguy]

2. It was a trick!

The woman just wanted to see her breasts.

[leeroysphitz]

6. It was actually two ten year old boys in a lady's hat and coat. n/t

[Schema Thing]

10. ^lol

[BlueJazz]

25. LOL!

[11 Bravo]

36. DUzy!

[Squinch]

4. Well, THAT's a new twist on the idea that everyone owns a woman's body.

Now it's our duty to show our boobs?

Congratulations on your grandchild.

[CTyankee]

24. Thanks. He's the happiest little boy because of his great parents...

and my great genes, of course...

[Squinch]

37. Well, the second part goes without saying!

[CTyankee]

40. thank you, you are the sweetest...

[Monster_Mash]

5. Busybody know it alls.... a.k.a. "Do-gooders"

Not ever happy unless everyone else is behaving within their personal behavior standards....

[hobbit709]

7. I had one come up to me in the checkout line at the grocery once.

and tell me that what I was buying wasn't very healthy.

I replied "I have a health tip for you. You'll live a lot longer if you keep your nose out of other people's business."

[LuvNewcastle]

11. I like that answer.

God, I hate nosy people.

[MADem]

8. Criticized by whom, though?

Idiots DO travel...and some are even homegrown in the 'best' of places.

Consider the source. If the source is a butt-in-ski busybody, ignore the source!

[Igel]

19. It's more likely to be somebody local than a rustic bumpkin.

It's a case of "You're not doing everything I want to advance my agenda. What's more important--your opinion or my agenda? D'uh. Me, of course."

Lots of those. My mother was one. She got a class action suit for sex-related wage discrimination going against her employer and railed mercilessly against women who "didn't know their best interests." Of course, their best interests were invariably my mother's primary interests. Hard to argue with that kind of blind egocentrism wrapped up in nice ideological burqa composed entirely of body armor.

[MADem]

20. Like I said...some idiots are even homegrown in the best of places!

Ya can't let morons make ya feel bad.

A mother should do what makes her feel comfortable because if she does that, her kid will feel comfortable. As far as anyone else is concerned, it just ain't their damn biz-niz!

[Logical]

9. Maybe you should work on being "too polite". n-t

[CTyankee]

26. Not in this case...

[Quantess]

12. People can be so weird. It takes too much energy to get upset about what weirdos say.

Just ignore people with terrible social skills. No point getting ruffled feaathers.

[seabeyond]

13. Agreed. Why would anyone say anything and why try to shame

When she is connected with baby in a nifty bonding moment. The woman had an agenda and she made this situation fit where it did not fit. Her agenda more important than mom and baby. Sad

[JustAnotherGen]

14. What she said CT

Look up. If everyone had seabeyond's common sense and kindness this wouldn't have happened.

[seabeyond]

15. ahhh,

lol. you are the sweetest

i am a mess. cold, coughing, snifflin', i think broken hand,.... and here your are being sweet. thanks.

[niyad]

17. and yet, another person might have criticized her for daring to breastfeed in public. some people

seem to be incapable of minding their own business.

[CTyankee]

27. It strikes me as odd that people have no guardrails around their conduct when it comes

to moms nursing in public. Where do they get such nerve?

[MineralMan]

18. Meddlesome people come in all shapes, sizes, and political leanings.

The "amazed stare" is the proper response for such people, in case that situation arises again for your d-i-l. You just look up wide-eyed and shocked at the meddler, as if to say, "I can't believe you just said such a thing." No words are needed. It's a very handy behavior to have available on a moment's notice. Works a treat.

[kestrel91316]

22. LOL, I do that "amazed stare" all the time at rude people of all stripes!

Gape-jawed, and usually followed by an OMG that they can hear but that nobody very far away can. And an eyesroll.

I don't suffer fools.

[MineralMan]

23. Yup. It's very useful, and should be always ready.

[CTyankee]

29. I've done that but people like this don't get that. They only get it when you get into their

face and tell them they are rude and need to knock it off...

[Are_grits_groceries]

31. Try the confused look.

Put a very confused look on your face. Then start to look around everywhere.
Somebody will usually ask what you are looking for. Then reply,"I'm looking for who you are talking to."

[MineralMan]

33. Another excellent suggestion!

[etherealtruth]

21. Sadly, 'people' believe pregnant women, nursing women (some:all women)

.. are not autonomous private individuals.

To you idiots that believe you have a say in this ... you don't. mind your own damned business

[ZombieHorde]

28. That is just creepy. nt

[CTyankee]

30. IT would be if it weren't so common...

[FarCenter]

32. Speaking to someone you don't know in a Starbucks is pretty weird for starters.

[CTyankee]

35. That's just it. When it's a nursing mom, it's fair game.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

34. I call bullshit....

We all know it was in Olive Garden and the supposed "baby" was a pit bull named Rand.

Also, the butting in busybody was some smelly old dude.

[suffragette]

38. Our society seems in a phase where many think any action is open for prying and comment/critique

Privacy is undervalued, especially any privacy in what is perceived as a public sphere. And pretty much everything, including our communications and actions, whether in or out of home, are perceived by many as in the public sphere.

Although in public, your DIL had made no overture to invite comment from this person, who showed no hesitation about intruding and forcing her unasked for opinion on her. No common courtesy or respect for another person's choice there.

I know of employers who have finagled their way into employees Facebook pages, only to make snide comments of noticing employees seemed to be enjoying beer quite a bit, etc.

The other side of that are disapproving comments with a tinge of suspicion about people like me who have chosen not to be on Facebook. Because why wouldn't someone want to do that - do they have something to hide? Don't they want to know everyone's opinion about, well, everything?

And it goes on to the debate about surveillance cameras and NSA snooping - what is, isn't, should be, shouldn't be, viewable, commentable and actionable in public and private spheres. And what are these anyway? To what point does our personal space extend?

It seems to me that person intruded into your DIL's personal space, which we all have even when out in public.

[CTyankee]

41. well, I do think that pregnant and nursing women have been fair game for a long time now...

I'm still trying to figure that out...

[niyad]

39. a very puzzled, "bitte? nicht verstehen" confuses the hell out of them

[Orsino]

42. In New Orleans, they at least offer beads. n/t