An Open Letter to The Youth of America

[FourScore]

Dear The Youth,

Hey! Sup! Got a minute? Right---of course you don't. Well, I'm the adult here so put the skateboard down, take your earbuds out, siddown and pay attention.

You may have noticed that the country you live in has turned into a bit of a mess. Not to put too fine a point on it, dudes and dudettes, but our government is frozen in carbonite, people are still losing their homes and selling their bling to get by, the planet's baking, we can't stop shooting each other, and nobody knows how to get anything done. To put it another way: we're running this place with all the finesse of your grandparents twerking on a tightrope while holding a beaker of nitroglycerin in each hand.

But here's the good news: your mission in life will be to clean up our mess!

I know what you're saying. "Hey, we didn't crap out this shit. Why do we gotta clean it up?!" First, watch your language. Second, we planned it. Let us explain.

You see, in order to build character and resilience and valuable "life skills," we must tear you down and then give you the freedom to build yourselves up. That means breaking your spirit, paying you peanuts for your efforts, ignoring your concerns about stuff, and leaving this place worse than we found it. But when the time is right, we'll turn the wheel over to you (or, more accurately, you'll desperately grab the wheel from us) so you can fix everything! It's called "tough love," and we're doing it because we care. Quit slouching.

Now, we're not quite done fracking the creamy filling from your spongecake world yet. That will take a little more time. So keep on texting and whatnot for now, but be ready to take over when we give you the signal. The signal, by the way, will probably look like a bunch of grownups jumping off of bridges. Yes, you can help yourself to any beer you find in their refrigerators. I call dibs on the rum and vodka.

I know this must all seem supremely weird and inconvenient, but it's for your own good. If we don't trash the most powerful---some say "exceptional"---country on earth and reduce it to roving bands of shiny-object chasers, you'll spend your lives all healthy, prosperous and happy, and what fun is that?! Trust us...you'll thank us later for giving you this amazing opportunity to dig yourselves out of our hole.

Peace. Word. Get a haircut.

---The Adults Currently In Charge Of Things

P.S. We'll give you a head start with a free tip: invent a tree that sprouts "money fruit." We know you can do it!

P.P.S. Go (your team here)!!!


Child with dunce cap: But not this youth. He's destined for the House tea party caucus.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/09/18/1239465/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday

[highmindedhavi]

1. Also don't vote for those who take Bank/Wall St. money like we did

nothing will change if you do.

[Drale]

2. I'm 25 and if one more "adult" tells me that my generation

and the generations after us are lazy and just want everything handed to us, I swear to all the Gods that I'm going to slap them and I don't care how old they are. I can be lazy at times when it comes to household chores like laundry or vacuuming but I've never been lazy when it comes to working. All I want is a square deal, a stable good paying job which will allow me to start a family, health care that will allow me to keep that family healthy and free time in which I can spend with that family and indulge in my hobbies. I've been bitched at that we don't want to start at the bottom and work out way up but the bottom is a 8.25 an hour job that only allows you to move up when the guy above you dies because he couldn't afford to retire and contrary to what the "old folks" think, you can't go from 8.25 and hour to 15.00 an hour through raises because there are no raises anymore no matter how good you do your job. The fact is the "adult" generations have fucked everything up so bad that its going to take our generation a very long time to reset everything you've done and make the economy and society in general fair to everyone and to give everyone a fair chance at life.

[FourScore]

4. Um...yeah...I think actually the OP is mocking how much the "adults" have f*cked up.

It's not about how lazy young people are.

[Drale]

5. I know that but plenty of people actually have such a very ./nt