Asking for help- Why and what it does both good and bad.

[Are_grits_groceries]

Last week I asked for help here. Thanks to OneGrassRoot I was able to make a request on Wishadoo and have it posted here too. The post I made is here:
Are Grits Groceries
http://www.wishadoo.org/wishlist/199/money-for-repairing-my-car-new-glasses-other/

The good part is that I may receive some money to alleviate my problems. The concrete results are enormously helpful.

I also experienced some less tangible results. I received a little over $300. Each donation lifted my spirits and made me feel less lonely. I had thought about this before I asked, but the intensity of these feelings surprised me. It was a very welcome effect.

The detrimental effect is that I feel like a loser. That can be reinforced by the negative stereotypes around. After being able to make it for years on my own, I can't anymore. Asking brings a hard-edged reality to my situation. It is deflating.

Am I throwing a pity party? I do go through periods imagining myself in unrealistic future scenarios. "Oh woe is me. I'll have to live thru the snow outside with my 2 cats." Snow? I live in SC. My Grandmama's version was "Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I'm going in the garden and stick worms up my nose." What can I say? It runs in the family.

I am in no way ungrateful for any help of any kind. The act of receiving help is one of relief as opposed to asking. In addition, people on DU can be kind in many ways no matter the situation. I know those here do what they can.

These are my thoughts. I have no idea if anyone has ever wondered about this. I still need help, but I know I will live through the snow.

[LiberalLoner]

1. ((((HUGS))))) You are a treasure on DU,

You are kind and loving to your fur babies, and I bet you have been kind to those you have encountered over the years. It is clear you are a giver in life. Now it is okay to receive some of that love and kindness back.

By asking for help, you give a great gift to those who can help, even if only with a kind word or positive vibes.

It is giving that makes us fully human and connects us to a power greater than ourselves.

So, thank you. And God Bless you, if you lean that way in your beliefs (don't mean to offend.)

[Are_grits_groceries]

4. These are my fur babies:

Mousie


Scat


They are sisters and they are 16 years old. Scat is deaf. Mouse acts like she can't hear me.
They generally get along. However, both of them love to ambush the other every now and then.

[LiberalLoner]

5. What beautiful kitties! They look so content and happy. You must have been

A very good kitty mommy all their lives!

[OneGrassRoot]

2. LiberalLoner makes an excellent point...

I'm sorry to learn of the downside to "putting it out there" and asking.



Life is so damn brutal for so many -- more and more each day. It's overwhelming, for everyone. I would imagine it's hard not to feel as you're feeling even though I do not believe you SHOULD feel that way. At all.

You and so many others, as we well know here, are in dire straits through no fault of your own. The right-wing memes of "bootstraps" and "takers" resound in our heads, however, and it's hard not to let it sink in and demoralize us when we struggle.

BUT WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN. We can't allow the BS that has been spewed for decades now to pull us down even further than we are. WE CAN'T.

Another DUer had a great idea that maybe I should create a group at Wishadoo where those who are posting in the Wishlist can gather -- in private -- to be an emotional support system for one another. I may do that.

I think DU has hit the wall with compassion fatigue. I'm getting very little response to a poll regarding how to move forward now that I see there's no real need for the bridge I've been providing for the last few years.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023691581


I send you many virtual hugs, AGG.




I don't know much, but this I do know:

[Festivito]

3. We polluted our air and water to a degree that we all need medical interventions.

We polluted our economy to a degree that we all need economic interventions.

99% of us are losers or soon will be by thinking we're bad. We're not. We're fine. These downfalls show not our failings, rather it shows our society's need of a change. A change that needs to be bigger and bigger as each day passes.

It's a rough ride. Hang on!

[LiberalLoner]

6. +1

[onestepforward]

7. K&R

[LiberalLoner]

8. K&R for visibility

[LiberalLoner]

9. I was thinking about reasons people might not want to donate.

1. They may not have even $5.00 to give.

2. They may wonder if it is a scam. I have been reading AGGs posts for years now. Never once have I seen her complain or ask anything whatsoever for herself. This request is from genuine need. I'm guessing the same is true of the others in need as well.

3. They may think, I only have $5.00 to give. What good would that do? It would only insult the person who needs so much more than just the $5.00. The thing is, if enough people can give even five dollars, it would add up. It could make a real difference. You wouldn't think twice of buying a DUer lunch if you met them. Can you possibly spare the cost of that one lunch to help a fellow DUer? One lunch, once a month, to whatever DUer in need you wish to sponsor?

We can make a difference if there are enough of us, can't we?

Please. Give the cost of one lunch, once a month, to one DUer in need. And let's see if together we can't make a difference. If you can't spare the cost of a burger and fries, can you spare a kind word of support or encouragement now and then to say you wish a person well and hope for the best for them?

So much is crumbling around us. Our own lives are uncertain. The Koch brothers want us to remain hopeless, despairing, cynical and disconnected from one another.

Can we do this one thing, just this one thing one time a month, to kick the Koch brothers in the teeth and join hands with our fellow DUers?

Please?

Because if it's not about taking care of one another, why else are we here in life?

[onestepforward]

11. Small donations do add up

and can help make a positive difference. Lovely post, LiberalLoner.

[LiberalLoner]

12. Thank you. If we just all do a little bit we could make a difference.

[LiberalLoner]

10. K&R for visibility

[Are_grits_groceries]

13. I have received a lot of help.

I have gotten about half of what I need. I was able to get my car fixed at last. That helps a lot in real ways and for my outlook. That helps ease the depression a little.

I still need glasses. I can drive, but I plan out trips carefully. I go when there is the least traffic. Compared to where some of you live, you would probably think we had no traffic. I use side roads that I have travelled a great deal. I can now go to the Big Pig, the pharmacy, and the vet.

I just about have enough to get the cats tested so they don't develop serious problems at their age. They have some mild kidney problems, but those can end up badly.

I appreciate all the help and all the good vibes. I know people do what they can.

[LiberalLoner]

14. ((((HUGS)))))