I really want this year to be over....
The last week of August 2012 I had my daughter fly out to Toronto to pack up her fathers things and put him on a plane for Calgary where he moved in with us. I had been increasingly worried about him and just knew something was amiss.
We got him a family physician in short order and into physio while simultaneously working on his emotional health. The Dr put him through test after test, one leading to another. Meanwhile his health continued to decline. He was referred on to Specialists around the first of Nov 2012.
As many know, my Mum passed away Jan 21, 2013 after a three week battle with the flu. Her funeral was on the 25th of Jan.
Robert's first invasive test was set for Feb 15th at the Peter Loughheed hospital. On that day I received a ring up from a nurse informing me that his test had been stopped near the onset because they could not get the scope through and that they were admitting him to the hospital. In the following days they did laperascopic surgery to tie off his lower bowel, they put in an osteomy bag and had to put in four stents for his two kidneys. While he was going through this we received a ring up from Quebec telling us his father had passed away, that was Feb 23rd.
Days after his fathers funeral he was back home but a week later he hemorrhaged and had to be rushed via ambulance to the Rockyview Hospital. In the first two days he lost half his bodies volume of blood and was given 8 units of blood. It was then that we learned that surgery was not an option as he had a big ass tumor that was necrotizing his insides and if they opened him up his body would not heal to close. On the third day the hemmoraging stopped and two days later he was sent via ambulance to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre to meet with his first oncologist (this appointment had been set up while he was in the Peter Loughheed). We drove from home and were at the Tom Baker waiting when his ambulance arrived. The Dr informed us that his tumor was 12cm long and just as wide. He wanted him to have a course of 10 treatments of maximum dose radiation. His cancer was stage 3c, a hairs breath away from stage 4.
Robert remained at the Rockyview and was transported daily, via ambulance, to the Tom Baker for his radiation treatment. He was kept in the hospital a week extra because they were worried about hemmoraging given the tumor was 1mm away from a major artery. Mid way through his treatment we received another ring up from Quebec. The one sister who he is the closest to, her only daughter Christine was in a major car accident and was in critical condition. On the Saturday of Easter weekend she passed away. As with his fathers funeral, we were unable to take him to her funeral as the Dr's flatly stated that the travel WOULD kill him.
After we got him home we had palliative care Dr's and nurses coming to the house daily. We were trying to get his health and strength up so he could undergo chemo with an eye towards surgery to resect the tumor. Near the end of March I was given a letter by my employer stating he was closing down his business and so on May 17th I became unemployed. The Dr's were relieved because they felt me being home would be better for Robert.
Between May to August we had to ring 911 three different times and Robert admitted to hospital for one system failure or another. These hospitalizations do not include the ones where I got warning signs I recognized and took him in.
In Mid June to mid July his sister Jeannine (whose daughter had died in March) came to stay with us. She has always been super close with us so it was wonderful. We planted trees, bushes and flowers in the front yard. We also put in walkway lights that are so beautiful and peaceful at night which Robert loved. We got an outdoor daybed which we put out on one side of our porch so Robert could lie and enjoy everything.
Not long after Jeannine returned to Quebec Roberts condition deteriorated and I had to drive him to hospice. Our daughter was out of town on business and I have to say it was one of the few times along this road that I thought I would break. While he was in hospice it was like riding a roller coaster of extreme highs and lows. On Sept 9th he passed away and his memorial was on the 14th. My birthday was on Sept 13th and it was the darkest and most horrible one I can remember.
I haven't been around DU much since Mum passed as events kept dictating otherwise. I also found my emotions very labile so I have tended to keep to myself, afraid I might be a reactionary pig.
Anyroad, I really think this year sucks ....
= new reply since forum marked as read
It is now time for YOU. Take time for yourself. I hope you find peace along the way.
