President Cruz Fondly Recalls 21-Hour Speech That Started It All

[kpete]

President Cruz Fondly Recalls 21-Hour Speech That Started It All
NEWS • Politics • Politicians • ISSUE 49•39 • Sep 25, 2013


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“When he got up and talked for 21 hours about Duck Dynasty, those ‘little burgers’ from White Castle, and how the restaurant his father worked at was a cross between a Denny’s and a Benihana, that’s when I knew: That’s the guy I’m going to vote for in three years,” said real estate agent Erin Greene, who lives in Florida, a state that Cruz easily carried by over 2 million votes in 2016. “I was watching history happen in front of my eyes. When he sang a Toby Keith song saying ‘we'll put a boot in your . . . posterior,’ it was like, okay, a political star is born.”

“This entire country said to itself, ‘This is the man who is going to lead us,’” Greene said. “America woke up that day.”

President Cruz enjoyed comfortable leads in the polls throughout the run-up to the November 2016 election, with only two noteworthy instances in which Clinton ever pulled ahead. The former New York senator was summarily beaten back, however, as the Cruz campaign expertly wielded what proved to be its ultimate trump card: his 2013 Senate floor speech.

“Every time (Clinton) made a little headway, we’d just trot out Green Eggs And Ham,” President Cruz explained. “Just kept on playing that clip over and over again. There was no more powerful message. It not only showed who I was, but proved the Republican Party to be inclusive, united, down to earth, and ready to lead.”

the rest:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/president-cruz-fondly-recalls-21hour-speech-that-s,34005/

[pinboy3niner]

1. His campaign attire was brilliant!

[jsr]

2. President Creepy. Best president ever.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/19/ted-cruz-at-princeton-creepy-sometimes-well-liked-and-exactly-the-same.html

[Turbineguy]

3. That's scary, given the Onion's history

of turning out to be correct. I guess it will depend on just how self-destructive Americans feel in 2016.

[wandy]

5. I'm with you on this one. Of late the Onion appears to not only be writing US policy but ......

also the Congressional record. Consider the following story as written by the Onion....

United States threatens unilateral attack against a sovereign country without UN backing or Congressional approval.
As US Secretary of State and former peace advocate attempts to sell war, the former Soviet Union volunteers to avert conflict by forcing their own ally to conform to international law.

Just tell me that story wasn't written by the Onion.

[joeybee12]

4. You know, I bet a few teabaggers out there are saying exactly what this Erin Greene is saying...