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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBill Maher has excellent news on why conservatives REALLY fear California
Sat Sep 28, 2013 at 05:00 AM PDT
Bill Maher has excellent news on why conservatives REALLY fear California
by BruinKid
Last night, Bill Maher explained the real reason conservatives should be so afraid of California because we're a living experiment that shows everything they've been preaching is pure unadulterated bullshit.
Now, it wasn't that long ago that pundits were calling California a failed state and saying it was ungovernable. But in 2010, when other states were busy electing whatever Tea Partier claimed to hate government the most, we elected a guy who actually liked it Jerry Brown. And without a Republican governor and without a legislature cock-blocked by Republicans, (audience laughter) a $27 billion deficit was turned into a surplus.
How? Well it's amazing, really. We did something economists call cutting spending and raising taxes. (audience applause) I know, it sounds like crazy science fiction, but you see, here in California, we're not just gluten-free and soy-free and peanut-free, we're Tea Party free! (massive audience cheering and applause)
Yes, we can live in reality! I mean, Texas could do it too, but they love "freedom" too much. Like when that unregulated fertilizer plant blew up. In California, when things blow up, it's because we're making a Jason Statham movie. No, California is not perfect, but it is in our nature to try new things. For example, now that it's clear Obamacare is going to be a success here, the movement to just go all the way to single payer is gathering steam. (audience applause)
In lots of areas, California has decided not to wait around for the caboose part of America to get on board. Yokels can mock "European style democracies" all they want. We're building one here gay marriage, pot smoking, regulating carbon. And people like it. The same way when Americans come back from a vacation in Europe, they all say the same thing: "I saw titties on the beach!" (audience laughter) But they also remark on the modern airports and train stations over there, and the absence of beggars in the street, and food that tastes like food. (audience applause) And they wonder, "Why can't we get that here?"
Well, you will be getting that here, courtesy of the Golden State. Why? Because we're huge. We're huge! 40 million of us! (audience cheering) When we demand something, the market must supply it. Like when California set a high mileage standard for cars sold in this state, Detroit had to make more efficient cars. California by itself is the 8th largest economy in the world, the fifth largest agricultural exporter, and of course, #1 in laser vaginal rejuvenation. (audience laughter) Oh, I pat myself on the back.
You know, it's so ironic, the two things conservatives love the most the free market and states rights are the two things that are going to bend this country into California's image as a socialist fagtopia. (audience cheering and applause) Maybe our constipated Congress in Washington can't pass gun control laws, but we just did. Because we don't give a shit about the NRA. Out here, that stands for "Nuts, Racists, and Assholes." (massive audience cheering and applause)
And while other state governments are working with Jesus to make abortion more miserable because otherwise women would just use it for weight loss (audience oohs) California is making it easier. And while immigrants are demonized in Washington and elsewhere, in California we just OK'd driver's licenses for undocumented aliens. (audience applause) That's right, we're letting them drive cars just like white people! Because we can't be worrying about all the nonsense that keeps Fox News viewers up at night, when they should be in bed adjusting their sleep apnea mask. (audience laughter)
So in conclusion, my message to the rest of America is just this: DO NOT RESIST!! Kneel before Zod! California has been setting the trend in America for decades, and it's not going to stop now. We say jump, you say, "Please, sell me new exercise clothes for jumping." (audience applause) We said put cilantro in food, and dammit, you did, you put cilantro in food, even though neither one of us knows what it is. And almond milk? Come on! We just had some extra almonds and thought we'd fuck with you. (audience laughter)
Bill Maher also wrote up a fuller version of this New Rule over at Huffington Post. One part that was cut out for time that was a good explanation of what happened was this.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/09/28/1242012/-Bill-Maher-has-excellent-news-on-why-conservatives-REALLY-fear-California
WovenGems
(776 posts)California rules.
antiquie
(4,299 posts)pampango
(24,692 posts)It is nice to see that a European style social democracy can exist in the US even with its regressive taxes, anti-union legislation and other conservative policies on the federal level. Thank you, California, for setting a positive example for the rest of the country.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)But accurate.
Uncle Joe
(58,349 posts)Thanks for the thread, FourScore.
Eyerish
(1,495 posts)Well said Mr Maher
maced666
(771 posts)If it sounds too good to be true....
Biggest worry - the pensions promised, earned and fought for are going to be the first to go. 'Losing' forward to 2044, seems far away, but when it comes to screwing over the union worker and educators - cutting education, the track record requires concern not grandstanding or celebration.
"They are not paying into their pension funds adequately
and theyre still cutting from education"
http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/meredith-whitney-worst-states-business-growth-122115417.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/21/california-teacher-pensions_n_2919836.html
California Teachers Ass. - WHERE WE STAND
http://www.cta.org/Issues-and-Action/Retirement/Where-We-Stand-Pensions.aspx
Igel
(35,300 posts)If you're fairly well off and in the right circles, it's great.
I hear the same kinds of things about Texas. And why it is that liberals fear--or should fear--Texas. And if you're fairly well off and in the right circles, it's great.
My students really struggle with shifting frames of reference.
mountain grammy
(26,619 posts)but not true at all for the working poor and the poor in general.
napkinz
(17,199 posts)mountain grammy
(26,619 posts)colsohlibgal
(5,275 posts)I always hear right wing types say we don't want to be like Western Europe or Scandinavia and I say why not also.
What's not to like? There is enough income equality, you can still get wealthy just not obscenely so. They invest in education, health care, and infrastructure. Compare that to places like Texas where kids are being taught that the "Flintstones" was real, the earth is 5,000 years old, nonsense like that. Compare that to our crumbling infrastructure - which we neglect so we can have empire building wars and more money for billionaires. Compare that to our health care where CEOs of companies skim off millions. We are the only industrial modern country who allows for profit health care. "Obamacare" will not change this.
The middle class people who vote republican need to think things through better and quit carrying water for the 1%.