Borowitz Report: Boehner Advises Americans to Delay Getting Cancer for a Year

[Purveyor]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a special Sunday radio address, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) delivered a health tip to the American people, advising them to delay getting cancer for a year.

“We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying getting cancer.”

He added that heart disease, emphysema, and diabetes were among a laundry list of conditions that would be “patriotic to avoid for a year.”

“If you delay getting any of these things for the next twelve months, together we will win this fight,” he said.

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http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/09/boehner-advises-americans-to-delay-getting-cancer-for-a-year.html

[JRLeft]

1. Unfortunately this isn't a hoax.

[Goalie49009]

2. All I can say is

UnF'ing believable

[Theyletmeeatcake2]

3. You don't want the gubment intruding on our freedom to get sick and die!,

Are these GOP fuckwits stupid or just totally psychopaths hellbent on pushing their corporate agendas....I don't like saying this but may a pox fall on their houses as they're out the front saluting their corporate masters...a comment like that in most countries would result in that politician getting the boot...super dumb or super mean...I'm now speechless

[lastlib]

6. (quote)...

Are these GOP fuckwits stupid or just totally psychopaths hellbent on pushing their corporate agendas

?

Answer: YES.

Some ARE stupid, but some are just total psychopaths. Boehner, Cruz, McConnell, Stockman, Gohmert, et al. are the latter.

[Downwinder]

4. If you delay treatment, you won't need it.

More repuke hurry up and die. When are they going to issue euthanasia pills?

[Rain Mcloud]

5. Reminds me of the GOP Healthcare Plan

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