General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI posted something ugly and stupid about overweight people this morning.
My animus was directed specifically at a single politician but my comment ended up being far more general than it should have. I allowed myself to get carried away by - honestly - my own internalized bigotry against overweight men. My comment made me look stupid and small minded and the reaction to it made me feel like a dick.
I apologize unreservedly to anyone who I offended and I shall endeavor not to make similar statements in the future.
aptal
(304 posts)Codeine
(25,586 posts)katmondoo
(6,454 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)babylonsister
(170,962 posts)Skittles
(152,964 posts)I have never been overweight but it really disturbs me to see overweight people (no matter how despicable they may be) disparaged on DU and your apology nice
zappaman
(20,605 posts)anneboleyn
(5,611 posts)in late middle age) and they have struggled mightily with weight problems since childhood. Childhood (and neither of them were eating huge amounts of food -- they just kept putting on weight while their friends seemed to get skinnier) -- I think the genetics of this issue are very complicated indeed.
I apologize; I did not mean to rant on a topic loosely related to your post. It took a lot of courage for you to apologize for your earlier post (which I did not see). Your gesture, a sign of your maturity and empathy for others, shows why DU (unlike, say, Freeperville) is a place populated by GOOD people. Thank you.
spanone
(135,633 posts)marble falls
(56,358 posts)Hekate
(90,189 posts)I know fat-shame and fat-shaming from the inside: my mother spent a lifetime beating herself up for being overweight, simultaneously not able to resist commenting on the weight of other people. Including me -- a slender teen with good waist-to-hip ratio, which meant she couldn't resist commenting on the size of my butt. "Broad side of a barn" was how she described my older cousin's chunky figure. "Hiding inside a wall of fat" was her comment on one of my best friends in college, who was obese.
I have to say I always felt sorry for my mom. She was a wonderful woman with a lot of self-loathing.
Never saw it coming for me, and it was really painful, but I mostly kept my vow to at least not talk about it. Oddly -- and this is why I now do talk about it -- my doctor took me off a prescription I'd been on for almost 20 years, and the day it left my system I actually felt it, like a switch turned off in my brain making me finally able to lose weight and keep it off. I was stunned, and it was another doc who confirmed my intuition.
Obesity in the US is a complicated issue. One look at class photos from my elementary through high school years (1950s-1960s) versus today's class photos will tell you how pervasive it is among children, when it used to be rare. Sure we're more sedentary and fast food is ubiquitous, but it goes beyond that. Our entire food chain has been contaminated with additives known to fatten up livestock; and major industries are devoted to treating food, the stuff of life, as a commodity, a product to be pushed at us and sold by methods proven to work.
Just sayin' -- please keep what I have said in mind.
PasadenaTrudy
(3,998 posts)Cymbalta. I think it is the culprit in my weight gain. Always thin until I went on it about 6 yrs ago...
Hekate
(90,189 posts)I had several different doctors scold me over the years ("Push yourself away from the table" and my gynecologist flat out said she didn't want patients who wouldn't take care of themselves.
Every single one of them had a list of my medications, and not one of them brought that up. Yet while I was still furious and stunned over what it felt like to have that one leave my system, three different docs I met in passing said my med "was notorious for weight gain."
That's why I talk about the connection.
I get blamed for not exercising enough...I can't, I'm sick! I read that like 2% of Cymbalta users gain weight. It makes a difference when you are in that 2%!
MarianJack
(10,237 posts)...come give us a hug!
PEACE!
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)posts aimed at disparaging Gov Christie but end up disparaging heavy people. It's still fairly acceptable to mock over weight people. John Stewart does it, but then he mocks a lot of different things.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)because that is where they always go.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Christie for his ideologies and not his weight, height, color, religion, etc.
Rex
(65,616 posts)nt.
Logical
(22,457 posts)Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)It happens to us all occasionally.
Eloquent and sincere apology.
wryter2000
(46,016 posts)But I surely do appreciate the sentiment in this post. I've been appalled at the way some here put down large people. It's one of the few ways liberals find it acceptable to be cruel to people.
Douglas Carpenter
(20,226 posts)how unfair some of our attitudes can be and how much they might hurt others. It is always a movement forward for humanity when anyone recognizes this and tries to change their outlook.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)If DU were restricted to perfect people, it would be a pretty small forum.
radiclib
(1,811 posts)and I have no excuse. I just have the diet habits of a reckless moron.
I rarely see people apologize for comments on forums so this is a breath of fresh air.
BillyRibs
(787 posts)about my weight years ago. Scoliosis has kept me from being as active as I need to be so I'll say it for you as it takes one to know one. Christie is a fat bastard. The one difference between he and I? I understand Humility he only expresses Hubris.
AverageJoe90
(10,745 posts)You apologized, and that's all that matters now, IMO(p.s. I'm overweight myself!).
tclambert
(11,080 posts)she should probably, you know, go on a diet, 'cause it's not healthy to have such a high body mass index, and like that.
Response to Codeine (Original post)
Post removed
ChairmanAgnostic
(28,017 posts)So I think it evens out.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)I don't think Trumad's should have been hidden either.
Both comments were directed at a vile republican pig of a person who just won an election with the help of endorsements from a shitload of traitorous democrats; thereby disenfranchising the rightful democrat who should have been the recipient of democratic endorsements.
I saw no direction of insensitivity toward any DUers.
Christie is a finger wagging, democratic endorsement sucking pig.
Carry on.
TYY
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)is hurtful to overweight individuals, in the same way that using gay as an insult doesn't just hurt an intended target.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)...dialog when dealing with DUers who've been here for a long time. Especially when the insult was not directed at a fellow DUer.
A teachable moment rather than a kneejerk hide.
TYY
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)You will see:
(1) the thread itself was a request to individuals not to use fat as an insult
(2) some people took the OP as an invitation to use fat as an insult
(3) there was a lot of dialog going on in that thread with at least one individual in the thread about why it was inappropriate to use fat as an insult.
So the hides were hardly kneejerk hides. They were hides in a dialog specifically started about why using fat as an insult was hurtful - after additional dialog with at least one individual who continued to insist that using fat as an insult was perfectly fine.
ETA: Some people apparently just aren't teachable - and at least one will be getting a time-out from December 25 through mid-January because even with the guarantee of a few days in time-out before today, the "fun" of continuing to use fat as an insult was just too much to resist.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)...against the latest addition to the old meta wars 'DU word ban list'. Just because someone starts a thread about their own personal discomfort with a particular word doesn't automatically make its use a hideable offense. It presents an opportunity for enlightened discussion, not the ban hammer.
TYY
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)It is using fat (the concept) as an insult. You may not like it, but after multiple attempts at enlightened discussion, at least three juries in that thread, and at least one in this one, have decided that using fat as an insult is disruptive.
The ban, such as it is, isn't for this individual hide - but for a pattern of repeated behavior which is disruptive, offensive, hurtful, or rude. After imposing no significant consequences for such behavior, the admins have decided that the only way to get the message across is to impose a cone of silence for repeated bad behavior. If you don't think that an appropriate way to get the message across, take it up with the admins.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)...an opinion of support to a friend on DU, posted in a forum on the internet.
I don't 'like' or 'dislike' anything about the concept of using the word "fat" as an insult. My comments on the issue, with the exception of one, have all been in response to queries or statements coming from you. I won't be 'taking up' anything with the admins. I don't really care either way.
What I disapprove of is censorship; good old fashioned torch and pitchfork wielding suppression of free speech. If "fat" is now officially on the DU ban hammer list of words to be avoided, I suggest you make an announcement thread and pin it to the top of GD so that no other DUers have to find out the hard way that "fat" is now verboten.
TYY
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)It is using the concept of being fat (whatever word you use to describe it) as an insult.
It is pretty silly to suggest that someone using weight as an insult in a thread which asked people not to use weight as a insult, and who was specifically asked repeatedly not to use weight as an insult, "found out the hard way" that it was considered against community standards.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)In the future, when referring to Chris Christie, don't use the following words:
TYY
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)or more likely, you are pretending you don't, since the post you are defending didn't use any of those words.
It isn't a word game - so creating a list of synonyms isn't any closer than naming one word not to use. And the issues is using the characteristic of being overweight as an insult.
madinmaryland
(64,920 posts)Which is why he had stomach surgery.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)...not so much.
TYY
Throd
(7,208 posts)I've seen your posts for some time now. Never thought of you as a dick.
RKP5637
(67,031 posts)PasadenaTrudy
(3,998 posts)I was skinny until my mid-forties, then perimenopause hit, I lost my mom and sister, and started a medication that has weight gain as a side affect. I can't do much exercise due to fibromyalgia, I don't eat much. It just sucks! We aren't all fat slobs is what I'm sayin' I guess.
Hekate
(90,189 posts)I wasn't even perimenopausal at 42, but by the time I was off the low-dose tri-cyclic antidepressant all those years later, I was well past menopause, had gained 50+ pounds, blood sugar and blood pressure going up, sleep apnea, the works. My body had changed a lot -- losing weight 25 years ago was easy for me -- not gaining weight in the first place was even easier. But under the influence of the medication, for years I suffered from what I privately referred to as "insane cravings." I was so ashamed of my loss of control, and there were so many sources adding to that shame.
It's been several years now since I weaned myself from that med. I may never actually lose the last 20 pounds, and I will have to be careful the rest of my life, but last I checked my BMI tells me I am "only" overweight and not obese. That in itself is a victory of sorts.
But I'll tell you, I will never get over how furious I felt when that switch clicked in my brain, because I could feel it and I knew what it was.
Sounds so much like me. Glad things fell into place for you. I'm angry too and I'm going to start to slowly taper off my med and see what happens. I'm not looking forward to the withdrawal, but I must try at least.
rurallib
(62,344 posts)used to be a top notch racketball and basketball player. Yet I am overweight.
Get pretty tired of the stares. Used to be comments but those stopped.
Oh and by the way - I have given over 50 gallons of blood in my life - 50 gallons. That is a lot of lives I have helped.
Yet many people can't get by my weight.
renate
(13,776 posts)Wow! That's amazing!
rurallib
(62,344 posts)switched to monthly platelets about 17 years ago - this year, with a special 4 white cell donation - I have given 2 gallons.
And yes, I do appreciate the shout out. I am really proud of this.
alp227
(31,961 posts)When people moan about people like Christie weighing 300+ pounds, do realize the heaviest players on the New York Giants weigh 300-330 pounds. Asides from possible brain damage/joint injuries, they have no known cardiac issues.
LibDemAlways
(15,139 posts)a big person (pun intended) to admit they screwed up
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)apology is.
Ms. Toad
(33,915 posts)bullwinkle428
(20,626 posts)and this post definitely proves it!
nolabear
(41,915 posts)Brickbat
(19,339 posts)Thanks for this.
Hekate
(90,189 posts)Thanks
Agschmid
(28,749 posts)Deep13
(39,154 posts)Was it Taft?
polly7
(20,582 posts)IronLionZion
(45,256 posts)Sometimes our own prejudices and insecurities come out. Fat shaming often appears more widely acceptable because of the common misconception that people made poor choices that led to their condition rather than legitimate health or mental conditions causing it.
I didn't see it but good for you for realizing this.
grahamhgreen
(15,741 posts)JOKING!
LordGlenconner
(1,348 posts)Which is overweight people and flying. That's when DU's fat haters really come out to play and it's very, very ugly.
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)You can stop blaming yourself now.
Response to Codeine (Original post)
Cronus Protagonist This message was self-deleted by its author.
nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)He'd be a prick no matter what he weighed.