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Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:20 PM

 

First Klingon elected to office in the USA (Anti-fracking platform)

[font size=1 color=red]GETTIN' WHIGGY WITH IT[/font]

4:07 pm November 8, 2013
Election 2013 Loose Ends: America Elects A Whig And A Klingon

WONKETTE
by Doktor Zoom



[font size=1]{It sounds better in the original Klingon}[/font]

Big news, everyone! American political diversity expanded considerably with Tuesday’s elections. In Ulysses, New York, voters elected to their town board actor J.G. Hertzler, a human who is best know to fans of the Star Tracks: Deep Space Nine television program as “Chancellor Martok.”

Martok, of course, helped lead Klingon forces in the Dominion War (not including that unfortunate period where he was temporarily replaced by a Changeling, duh), and eventually became leader of the entire Klingon Empire. We can’t say with any certainty that Hertzler is the first Klingon elected to office in the USA, but he is definitely the highest-ranking.

A former employee of the Environmental Protection Agency during the Nixon administration, Hertzler was elected on a platform that strongly opposed hydraulic fracturing as an environmental threat. Our respect for the integrity of science fiction franchises prevents us from making a Battlestar Galactica/”fracking” joke here. Qapla’! Board Member Hertzler.

And in Philadelphia, voters have elected Robert “Heshy” Bucholz, a member of the Modern Whig Party, to the office of election judge in the Rhawnhurst section of the city. Buchholz won against a Democratic opponent by a lopsided 36 to 24-vote majority, giving him a mandate to get all Whiggish in doing whatever it is that the office entails.

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- If he brings his Batleth to the fracking meetings, I'll bet there won't be no fracking in his town......

17 replies, 2017 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
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Arrow 17 replies Author Time Post
Reply First Klingon elected to office in the USA (Anti-fracking platform) (Original post)
DeSwiss Nov 2013 OP
Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #1
DeSwiss Nov 2013 #9
icymist Nov 2013 #2
DeSwiss Nov 2013 #10
icymist Nov 2013 #3
Capt.Rocky300 Nov 2013 #4
icymist Nov 2013 #5
NBachers Nov 2013 #6
DeSwiss Nov 2013 #8
navarth Nov 2013 #7
Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #11
jmowreader Nov 2013 #12
Laelth Nov 2013 #13
jmowreader Nov 2013 #16
wandy Nov 2013 #14
BumRushDaShow Nov 2013 #15
NaturalHigh Nov 2013 #17

Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:25 PM

1. This thread needs a theme song.




Thanks for the thread, DeSwiss.

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Response to Uncle Joe (Reply #1)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 01:36 AM

9. De nada

 

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:29 PM

2. Oh good, he has experience as a politician!

A Chancellor no less!

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Response to icymist (Reply #2)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 01:48 AM

10. Aside from the over-reacting about the Kardasians.....

 




- Personally I think the whole family's vapid, plastic and nothing but hyperbole-personified, but a woman's entitled in these times to use whatever the hell works for her. So who am I to judge?

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:33 PM

3. Let the celebration begin...

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:37 PM

4. Star Tracks.........???

Jeez Wonkette, get with it.

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Response to Capt.Rocky300 (Reply #4)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:40 PM

5. You can't see them very well, but it's a Klingon band. nt

Besides, the galaxy is really big and strange.

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sat Nov 9, 2013, 11:43 PM

6. All well and good, but we need to elect more women in office . .

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Response to NBachers (Reply #6)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 01:35 AM

8. I'd like to see Ted Cruz mess with one!

 



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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 01:11 AM

7. Q'Pla!!!

(That's Klingon for success.)

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 03:33 AM

11. This makes happy in so many ways

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 03:42 AM

12. We'd be better off with Klingons and Ferengi than Republicans!

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #12)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 08:25 AM

13. Most Republicans are Ferengi, aren't they?



-Laelth

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Response to Laelth (Reply #13)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 06:28 PM

16. Republicans are a mashup of Vogons, Romulans and the Empire from Star Wars...

...with perhaps a smattering of the Peacekeepers from Hunger Games. IOW not only are they evil but they had to work at it.

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 01:12 PM

14. Klingons. Well I'll be darned...........

From bad guy Soviet Union look alikes, to 'friendenemys' to environmental champions.

Yup, just goes to show. Ya live long enough ya gets to see everything.

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 02:39 PM

15. yay wills!

Dache'taHvIS targh QeH toDuj!

Iw HIq Hoch:

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Response to DeSwiss (Original post)

Sun Nov 10, 2013, 06:30 PM

17. "I've never trusted Klingons...

and I never will."

- Captain James Kirk (Star Trek VI)

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