Palin's run-on sentence word salad solution to healthcare reform

[Ichingcarpenter]

Sarah Palin, while promoting her new "war on Christmas" book, was asked this question by Matt Lauer this morning. Her answer: 35 seconds of word salad.







"The plan is to allow those things that had been proposed over many years to reform a health-care system in America that certainly does need more help so that there's more competition, there's less tort reform threat, there's less trajectory of the cost increases, and those plans have been proposed over and over again. And what thwarts those plans? It's the far left. It's President Obama and his supporters who will not allow the Republicans to usher in free market, patient-centered, doctor-patient relationship links to reform health care. "


I'm amazed what a 5th grade education can reveal.

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/11/sarah-palin-obamacare-alternative-health-care.html?mid=twitter_dailyintelligencer

[ejpoeta]

1. first of all.... aren't the health exchanges allowing free market?

Insurance companies competing for your business. Secondly, I remember in school when I had to write a paper and needed to fill space because it had to be so long or perhaps if I didn't know the answer.... this is the kind of answer I would give. But even my bloated answers were better than this. Frankly, I would guess most teenagers could do better than this.

[grahamhgreen]

90. OMG, no. You are misunderestimating her!

[Demit]

2. It really is some kind of bizarre talent to be able to talk like that.

The only other person I can think of was Dr. Irwin Cory, who was a comedian, and it was a well-honed comedy act.

[jberryhill]

10. It's a talent to be able to do it intentionally

Dialogues between, say, Chico and Groucho Marx are funny because they intentionally fracture syntax and meaning. People who do that naturally are not funny. They are annoying.

[AgingAmerican]

28. She recites poorly memorized talking points

That's why everything comes out so jumbled.

[SammyWinstonJack]

63. That's it.

[bluestate10]

79. Game Change all over again. Every time she opens her mouth. nt

[rbixby]

101. I saw a little bit of that interview

and her answers to the questions were scrolling by on a teleprompter. It was just one camera angle and then they quickly cut away from it, but the whole interview was totally scripted.

[Enthusiast]

3. Wtf does she mean by, "there's less tort reform threat"?

I believe she misstated the Republican establishment position. The Republicans want major tort reform. What an idiot!

"Ringing them bells and waving those lights to warn the British that they weren't going to be taking our guns away"

She was a heavy meth user at one time? Maybe.

[Th1onein]

7. Is this an actual quote?

"Ringing them bells and waving those lights to warn the British that they weren't going to be taking our guns away"

Is that a quote? If so, O.M.G.

[Enthusiast]

8. Not exactly.

But it's on Youtube somewhere.

That is what she tried to say, but in her convoluted fashion. She was saying the purpose of Paul Revere's ride was to warn those damn British that they were not going to confiscate our weapons. I mean, her understanding of the nation's history is entirely wrong.

[pinboy3niner]

16. iirc, she said Revere was firin' those bells and ringin' those shots

That's what it sounded like to me, anyway.

Her actual quote:

Ms. SARAH PALIN (Former Governor, Alaska): We saw where Paul Revere hung out as a teenager, which was something new to learn. And you know, he who warned the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms, by ringing those bells and making sure, as he is riding his horse through town, to send those warning shots and bells, that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free.

http://www.npr.org/2011/06/06/137011636/how-accurate-were-palins-comments-on-paul-revere

[NastyRiffraff]

19. Yikes!

The actual quote is even more bizarre. Paul Revere's hangout???

[november3rd]

35. We won't be secure and free

... until we're safe from capitalist news media mouthpieces like Sarah Palin.

[SammyWinstonJack]

65. ugh!

[Enthusiast]

69. Great toon!

[NBachers]

86. So he shot at the bells and made them clang while he rode past on his horsie's trajectory?

[pinboy3niner]

87. It's for us to report...

...and for you to decide.

[3catwoman3]

57. Her understanding (if it could be called that)...

...of just about everything is entirely wrong.

[ctsnowman]

39. Colbert covered it well

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/388583/june-06-2011/paul-revere-s-famous-ride

[Enthusiast]

92. That is hilarious!

You would think Sarah Palin would never want to be seen or heard in public again. But, noooo.

[Ilsa]

4. I'm curious if Matt Lauer was able to

probe into that jumble of nonsense to actually argue with her on various points.

[Chili Pepper]

6. The professional journalist that Matt Lauer is ...

He immediately moved on to another topic after that answer. I believe the two of them went into a Chris Christie smooch fest.

Personally, I think an appropriate response to her answer would have been, "Huh?" And then make her put together another word salad to explain her previous word salad. That kind of back and forth could have gone on indefinitely and been pretty entertaining ... Or mind numbing.

[Erose999]

18. I have some moldy yogurt in my refridgerator that is a better journalist than Matt Lauer. And its

infinitely more entertaining. Probably smells better too.

[Skittles]

85. when yogurt goes bad, how can you tell?

an ex used to ask me that

[brett_jv]

88. Better yet ...

How do you tell when Sour Cream goes bad?

[Erose999]

98. I opened it up, and it asked me some really tough questions about professionalism, ethics, and it

asked me to explain some of my policy proposals that seemed contradictory to my stated values and beliefs. Also, there were patches of green and red furry stuff growing on it.

[Skittles]

100. LOL

I am slow today and had to read it twice

[pinboy3niner]

105. *snort*

Plus, the gang tattoos are a dead giveaway.

[Harry Monroe]

72. Professional Journalist and Matt Lauer do not belong in the same sentence

[jmowreader]

5. How to translate it

Free market: this means insurance sales across state lines. Problem, besides the fact the insurance companies will only sell it across the West Virginia state line, is the state departments of insurance. One justification the baggers use is, if you don't want abortion care in your policy (or whatever other thing you don't want) and you live in a state that requires it, you should be able to buy from a different state. Well...if the state department of insurance requires it, it doesn't matter where you go.

Tort reform: means making it really hard to sue for malpractice. As we all know, if you go to the hospital to have a precancerous mole removed from your chin and they give you a penectomy instead, you don't deserve any financial compensation.

Less trajectory of the cost increases: repeal Reagancare and allow emergency rooms to turn away indigents.

We could cure nausea in America overnight by implementing jmocare: deport Sarah Palin to Papua New Guinea or Borneo and hope the headhunting tradition hasn't died out yet.

[Enthusiast]

9. This would be completely unfair to Papua New Guinea or Borneo.

Cruel and unusual punishment.

[jmowreader]

36. Only for a few hours.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

22. "Free market: this means insurance sales across state lines."

Actually, that mean elimination of laws that allow individual states (or the Feds) to have jurisdiction over what insurance companies are doing to screw their customers.

[jmowreader]

33. That's another way to put it, yes

Your Republican is the kind of person who reads The Jungle and thinks, "if we didn't have all these socialist laws, Packingtown would come back in all its glory."

And then works to make it happen.

Naturally, there are many problems with that, not the least of which being the meat industry no longer desires to ship animals from Texas to Chicago. But as that lefty movie Field of Dreams said, build it and they will come.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

40. Democrats started buying into the idea that politicians should give Big Business what it wants...

But they did it in the belief that it would be good for The People.

IOW: They bought the "Trickle Down" theory.

After the crash we saw Big Business screw it's fellow assholes. Just look at the auto industry and their incestuous relation with Big Oil.

They had a deal. Detroit would make sure it offered lousy mileage so gas sales would stay high but the first time the auto companies needed help Big Oil told them they were just fine with seeing them die in agony.

Meanwhile, in Europe there is the "One Liter Car" from VW.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volkswagen_1-litre_car

280 mpg.

[jmowreader]

45. 280 mpg, $145,000

Priuses cost $25,000 and get good mileage.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

53. My point is that Big Oil and the Big 3 have suckered America,...

...into believing 35 MPG is as good as it gets. Hell, I got that 40 YEARS AGO with my Celica GT.

[Enthusiast]

70. How incredible!

I thought "one liter" meant the engine size. But, no, the engine is only 299ccs! My motorcycles displace 1000 and 1600 ccs.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

75. That's okay, I'm old enough to remember when mechanics refused to buy metric tools.

[jmowreader]

106. Have you seen the Michael J. Fox movie "Doc Hollywood"?

In it, Michael J. Fox wrecked his Porsche near a small South Carolina town and the only mechanic was rejoicing because now he had an excuse to buy a set of metric tools.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

108. That showed how backward that town was. The period I'm talking about was much earlier....

Back then they used to mock Japanese cars as made out of tin foil and a common thing to say as one drove by was, "Close your eyes. Can't you picture it going across a lake?" to pick on the small engine.

On the bright side, some free spirited women felt it was a bragging right to say they made out in one.

[jmowreader]

114. They said the same thing about Volkswagens

Which of course led to the Corvair.

Truth be told, Corvairs were no more dangerous than any other car if you followed the Cardinal Rule of Rear Engine Cars: you need more tire in the back. It doesn't matter if you have a Bug, a Corvair, a Porsche, a European rear engine supercar, or an open wheel race car, you must run either higher air pressure or wider tread in the back. Volkswagen knows this and trained mechanics well to put less air in the front tires. GM didn't know it and sent people out to be killed.

Corvair shows how fucking stupid American industrialists can be. What America said by making VWs popular is they wanted inexpensive, well-built, cute cars that got good fuel economy, and if Chevy would have responded with an iron-engined Vega they would have cleaned up. America didn't wake up one morning and think, "I need a car with a six-cylinder airplane engine in the back," but that's what they got with Corvair.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

115. The Corvair was a huge letdown....

This was the original 1962 Chevy Corvair Monza GT concept car.

[jmowreader]

116. Not a complete waste of engineering

If you had that car people would think you had done a ton of work on your Corvette.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

117. I once saw a Pinto tricked out to look like a Porche....

Couldn't stop laughing.

[HarveyDarkey]

42. Or she could just go back to that foreign country she came from, Alaska, I think it's called

"Foreign" in the same way Hawaii is, that is.

[nykym]

43. If the Hedhunters tried

to shrink her head it would just disappear, lack of material to sustain a shrunken head.

[Left Coast2020]

104. No "Pop Torts"?

[bullwinkle428]

11. Charile Pierce : "If the late Professor Irwin Corey had been cast

in the lead of The Ezra Klein Story, that is what it would sound like."

Read more: Palin Compares Federal Debt To Slavery - Dimwits We Have Heard On High - Esquire
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Visit us at Esquire.com

[MurrayDelph]

24. Irwin Corey isn't dead

99.5 years old, but still here.

[bullwinkle428]

48. Good to know! I'll have to scold Charlie for not using the Google machine!

[reflection]

12. "less trajectory of the cost increases"

[Vashta Nerada]

13. I can't believe people voted for her to be VP at one time.

WTF?

[bluestate10]

80. Those people are a dying breed, thankfully. Soon enough they will be blowfish

impotently screaming from the sidelines.

[truebluegreen]

14. Thank you for the transcript,

I needed the laugh but I Can't Handle the voice.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

15. Sarah Palin run-on sentences are comedy gold.

Just throw in "Paling around with terrorists" and "Putin rearing his ugly head" in there for good measure.

[Javaman]

17. when the fundamentally stupid lead the willfully ignorant, you get...

the tea baggers.

[lastlib]

29. "...doing the bidding of the obscenely rich"

(you left out that part...... )

[Kablooie]

20. Well damn! That's a fantastic plan! Why haven't I heard of that before?

We all must drop Obamacare immediately and stop thwarting trajectory tort reform.

[Whisp]

21. omg the stupid is just overwhelming.

my heart weeps for all the dolts that belief this charlatan.

oy oy

[sarge43]

23. Something to do when you no longer have anything resembling a life

Diagram those sentences{sic}

[3catwoman3]

59. If I could...

...remember how, it might be entertaining to try. I'm not sure I have enough free time, though. It would take forever.

[sarge43]

61. If you used the Reed-Kellogg system,

by the time you were half way done, it would resemble a Gordian Knot.

[maddiemom]

96. As a former English teacher, I remember how, but I had to give up when I tried.

I ended up with something that was totally confusing and shed no light on whatever she was trying to say. I can't post the actual diagram structure easily, or I'd show how it would look.

[sarge43]

99. Something like this, albeit more complicated?

[maddiemom]

111. LOL! By Jove, I think you've got it!

Seriously: Right brain/left brain. I've always scored in the high nineties in verbal, low sixties in math in the many tests taken from SATs through graduate education. I stopped two courses and a dissertation short of a doctorate in Education. Sadly, it wasn't beneficial, employment wise. My brain dead ability in higher math left me astounded that more than half those going for higher degrees were WORSE than I was. Understand: In all education tests, your percentile means your score above the others tested at the same time.

[sarge43]

112. I hear you. I can barely balance the check book.

One of my professors once implied nearly all that was needed to score a PhD was massive amounts of stamina and the ability to generate impressive quantities of male bovine fecal material. Not unlike the subject of this discussion.

[pinboy3niner]

107. Diagram? It would look like a Frank Caliendo (MadTV) parody of a John Madden commercial...

The diagramming is at 02:24, but the whole 3-minute vid is a hoot...

[sarge43]

110. Thank you. I needed that laugh.

Could use this classic as "Sarah Palin vs the English language"

[Turbineguy]

25. Still, the question is begged...

if this was such a great idea, why are repubs against it?

[JimboBillyBubbaBob]

26. I wish I had her in my English class.

She would need some extra credit work to bring up her grade!

[Jack Rabbit]

27. Can anyone translate that into English?

I can't.

[sarge43]

37. Ancient Etruscan hasn't been translated and it has relationships to other human languages.

Palinese probably will never be deciphered.

[jmowreader]

46. "Obama's a muslin. Oppose everything he likes."

If it got out Obama likes the color blue, the teabaggers would burn their Levis.

[lpbk2713]

30. It's amazing.

... how The Quitter managed to get all that in the
palm of her hand and still be able to read it.

[GladRagDahl]

31. I guess it just goes to show how worthless

a degree in journalism is.

[jmowreader]

34. Hey! My sister has that degree from that very college!

She buys coffins for funeral homes now.

[november3rd]

32. Patient-centered

Patient centered and free market are not compatible, Governor.

[truebrit71]

38. She's a fucking idiot. A true, through and through, total, complete and utter fucking idiot.

And the fact that ANYONE still gives this total fucking idiot any airtime whatsoever, or "values" her opinion on anything just boggles my mind.

I don't mind stupid people, but idiots like this sorry excuse for a human being, that are willfully ignorant piss me the fuck off...

[A HERETIC I AM]

41. Every time I hear her talk, I chew another ear off.

I am running out of ears.

[Blue Owl]

44. More like an acidic pile of word vomit

Most salads are healthy unlike Palin's bucket-loads of disgusting bile.

[unionthug777]

54. like that !!!!

acidic pile of word vomit !!!!

[NuclearDem]

47. I can typing gets a book deal.

[Rozlee]

49. A horde of moaning zombies makes more sense.

And would pass right on by her, knowing there were no brrraaainzzz in that empty cavity in her head.

[Moostache]

50. I try really hard to NOT hate anyone any more...its self-destructive behavior afterall...

BUT....I swear listening to that woman mangle the act of speaking makes me want to self-immolate!

What I really want is for her to just go after already...she has become a real life Marvin K. Mooney!

[img]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MarvinKMooneyWillYouPleaseGoNowBookCover.jpg[/img]

[IllinoisBirdWatcher]

51. So the half-wit half-term has a word salad brain. So what else is new? n/t

[benld74]

52. The SCARY part? - She was applauded for saying this garbage!

[DirkGently]

55. Yikes. And what is "less tort reform threat?"

[bluestate10]

81. It a group of words that an asshole that has no idea of what she is talking about

would utter. Palin has no idea what a fucking Tort is.

[noiretextatique]

102. Buzzword Bimbo

her entire "vocabulary" consists of buzzwords and catch phrases, ans she has no clue what any of those words mean.

[Populist_Prole]

56. What ignorant people think educated people sound like

Everybody, and I mean EVERYbody I know that likes and admires her are unread ignoramuses. Dunning-Kruger effect. Pure and simple.

[ehrnst]

58. I defy anyone to try to diagram one of her sentences without getting a stroke. (nt)

[virgdem]

60. I see Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods...

has opened her mouth again and as usual, crap fell out.

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

62. Did you read Steve Marmel's "Dear Sarah Palin" letter today?

http://marmel.com/

<snip>
Dear Sarah Palin;

Gosh, we’ve had a good run, haven’t we? You’ve been a lunatic and I’ve been able to take your inarticulate babble, your theocratic gobbledygook, your pandering winks and your blatant hypocrisy and spin it into meme gold.

But here’s the thing. I think it’s time to say goodbye, at least for a little bit.

</snip>
Read the entire letter at: http://marmel.com/

[Populist_Prole]

68. Good one! Thanks for the link n/t

[yellowcanine]

64. "there's less trajectory of the cost increases"

What exactly does that mean??????????????????????

[AtheistCrusader]

71. Cluck Cluck, Gibber Gibber, my old man's a mushroom, etc.

[Thav]

66. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance...

baffle them with bullshit.

[bluestate10]

82. No. The fools that follow her every move and worship her think that she is brilliant.

Palin is their PT Barnum. She trips over fools every time she moves.

[busterbrown]

67. Hey piss on all your anti-palin posts..

She pronounced the word” trajectory" and sounded swell when she used the phrase “ushered in"
She is turning out to be a pretty darn good speaker...

Have you read “Protecting the fart of Christmas”....Excallant

[libodem]

73. Effin' nutbag

[NealK]

74. And to this I would reply:

A work environment based markedly. We recognize that companies: People is a key element that have increased on a set of every person in the importance to the demands of performance of company with the government of every person in today's marketplace on our customers' need to promote competitive leadership and practices. The following human resource policies are practices and more. The following human resource systems, and commitment. World-class levels of the demand focused improving quality, teamwork, to compete in this market. I can see all this from my house just like you can see Russia from yours.

[Maynar]

84. Ooo, you're good.

[kydo]

76. I think she needs some dressing to go with that salad.

[Dawson Leery]

77. Teakooks are proud of this.

[bluestate10]

78. Palin didn't have a fucking clue on what she was babbling about.

She was trying to sound smart to the baboons that worship her empty headed ass.

[The Wizard]

83. Everyone knows

she's a grifter.

[Mr.Bill]

89. Oh, well, at least

she didn't copy it from Wikipedia.

[trusty elf]

91. Palinese set to music

[napkinz]

93. Oh Sarah ...

[KentuckyWoman]

94. I'm still mad at John McCain for giving this woman a voice.

She's an embarrassment to America and to womankind generally.

[BlueStreak]

95. "less trajectory of the cost increases"?

We all know she means to say "reducing the rate of cost increases" or "bending the cost curve" , but really that is quite an abuse of the English language.

Nonetheless, if any Republicans actually had some tangible, actionable, practical solutions it could have been good if that might have mentioned them in 2009. The train has left the station. What they should be talking about now are things we can do to improve on the ACA without taking 10 steps backwards.

[bobclark86]

97. Those who can't do, teach,

and those who really can't do, teach English.

And those that fail their English classes in college? They get degrees in sports broadcasting.

[sibelian]

103. She serves one purpose - to spend people's attention on JUNK. She's a fricken SCREENSAVER.

She's the laserpointer and everyone, talibaggers, bleeding hearts like me and the medias emo-squirters alike all dance around her like nip-addled kittens.

[WCGreen]

109. Sounds like the drunk girlfriend segment on SNL News Update...

[ck4829]

113. Well, at least she got the record for most meaningless buzzwords in least amount of space.