The last words of Dick Cheney's first, once-human heart:

[yoyossarian]

The Tattle-Tale Heart by D X Stone

"He uses me to pump the blood; if not for that, I'd have wound up in the East River a long time ago."

I am Dick Cheney's Heart.

Once, a very long time ago, I had two functions: the purely physical job of pumping blood throughout Dick Cheney's body so as to provide oxygen, nutrients and abundant energy to all his organs and muscles and tissues--to every single cell in his entire body, in fact--and the second, more metaphysical aspect of giving Dick Cheney a sense of joy, joy in simply being alive and also in sharing that joy with others through love, empathy, compassion and good works, each of these being a higher expression of this natural joy de vivre' available to most members of humanity... for people are social creatures, on more levels than they dream; and they communicate constantly with their communities and environment, whether they wish such connection or not. This is the wisdom of the human heart: It knows that all life is one, we are all interdependent and interconnected in a magnificent and joyous dance of life... and this celebratory dance is the only essential reason for being here at all.

But just try telling this to Dick Cheney's Brain.

I have to deal with that big lazy gray mass of fat everyday, and I'm telling you, it's killin' me. No matter how much blood I pump to it, it's of little use--it's already made up its mind, you see. Oh, it knows how to put on a good act, it knows how to dress and move with confidence, it knows how to speak calmly and with authority, when to speak and when to be silent--but it cannot seem to understand the simplest aspects of balanced power distribution in any dynamic system, and because of this, it is foolishly endangering the entire body, putting every single cell in mortal jeopardy.

You see, like the old joke about the body parts arguing over who is most important, Dick Cheney's Brain decided long ago that only certain major organs are deserving of any decent blood flow at all...

read the rest at
http://presidentevilonline.com/heart.html

Note: This was an old classic from my website presidentevilonline.com, which I began around the end of 1999, when the prospect of another Bush presidency loomed with such horrifying urgency that I began to write a weekly column against them for a free print weekly in Duluth, MN, then expanded it to a site, to around late 2005, when I moved to CA and I had to turn my attentions to other matters for a time, though I've managed to put an archived copy of the old site back online a few years back.

Recently Cheney wrote a book about his heart, or I guess his many hearts, which reminds me more and more of evil Dr. Wu's switchable fighting hands in Enter The Dragon. I assume, though, that he must've started with a human heart once, long ago.

Cheney can spend the next two hundred years rewriting history (literally, that's how good these new parts of his are), but this is the goods, right here. These are that first hapless heart's last desperate words to the world.

[yoyossarian]

1. Oops!

I didn't realize there were so many die-hard Cheney fans on DU these days!