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Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:00 AM

Ohio finally comes out on top. In profanity.

Last edited Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:32 AM - Edit history (1)

http://bluntandcranky.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/ohio-finally-comes-out-on-top/

"Yes, in cursing. Hey, it’s f***ing something , anyway. Evidently, we swear more on phone calls than any other f***ing state.

And we are also supposed to be the least courteous people on phone calls. Yeah, well, call the Waaaahmbulance, whiners. Suck it up, Buttercup.

All this proud dropper of f-bombs (we’re talking carpet-bombing, Kissinger-scale bombing here, folks) can say to this honor is: it’s about God-f***ing-damned time we got some mother-f***ing recog-f***ing-nition for f***ing something around here. I mean, hey,motherf***ers, you live in this Republican Hell, this den of corruption-induced industrialized malaise, this place that reeks of almost-succeeded and also-rans, with its inequality and crap weather, and we’ll see how long it takes you to start whipping out the lingua Franca . Dammit."

61 replies, 10406 views

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Reply Ohio finally comes out on top. In profanity. (Original post)
riqster Dec 2013 OP
countryjake Dec 2013 #1
riqster Dec 2013 #9
countryjake Dec 2013 #16
riqster Dec 2013 #18
maxsolomon Dec 2013 #15
countryjake Dec 2013 #20
riqster Dec 2013 #21
snooper2 Dec 2013 #2
randome Dec 2013 #4
riqster Dec 2013 #6
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #3
riqster Dec 2013 #5
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #22
riqster Dec 2013 #23
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #24
riqster Dec 2013 #25
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #30
riqster Dec 2013 #50
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #60
doc03 Dec 2013 #56
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #57
doc03 Dec 2013 #58
Art_from_Ark Dec 2013 #59
customerserviceguy Dec 2013 #29
LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #7
spin Dec 2013 #8
riqster Dec 2013 #11
spin Dec 2013 #14
riqster Dec 2013 #19
leftynyc Dec 2013 #10
riqster Dec 2013 #12
leftynyc Dec 2013 #13
riqster Dec 2013 #17
leftynyc Dec 2013 #32
riqster Dec 2013 #34
JVS Dec 2013 #26
riqster Dec 2013 #38
samplegirl Dec 2013 #27
riqster Dec 2013 #28
Manifestor_of_Light Dec 2013 #31
riqster Dec 2013 #33
Manifestor_of_Light Dec 2013 #44
riqster Dec 2013 #47
Bohunk68 Dec 2013 #39
riqster Dec 2013 #41
rucky Dec 2013 #35
kentauros Dec 2013 #36
riqster Dec 2013 #37
kentauros Dec 2013 #40
Manifestor_of_Light Dec 2013 #45
Initech Dec 2013 #42
riqster Dec 2013 #43
BlueJazz Dec 2013 #46
riqster Dec 2013 #48
BlueJazz Dec 2013 #49
liberalhistorian Dec 2013 #51
riqster Dec 2013 #53
liberalhistorian Dec 2013 #55
doc03 Dec 2013 #52
riqster Dec 2013 #54
Post removed Feb 2015 #61

Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 04:44 PM

1. As a former Ohioan...

who is aways catching hell from the affable soft-spoken cascadians that I live amongst now, merely for my wicked woolly tongue...

I stand proudly with Ohio in accepting that honor!




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Response to countryjake (Reply #1)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:35 PM

9. Bro!

Fuckin' A!

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Response to riqster (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 06:41 PM

16. No bro, here.

And I might add, that I, personally, may have contributed to the state gaining such acclaim.

I've recently returned from an eight month hiatus in my home state, where, while caring for my dying mother (who also was a country jake; she wisely taught me how to cuss at a tender age), I found that she had been besieged by every variety of fucking junk phone solicitations.

It was so damn bad that I had to take the phone off the hook, at first, but then I decided that they had no fucking right to plague a 95 yr old woman with their bullshit, so I proceeded to eliminate the asshats, one company at a time, (and, of course, they all were "recorded", giving each and every business, organization, or telemarketer a good piece of my mind before removing my mother's number from their call lists.

After several months (and I mean MONTHS; my list had 209 separate nagging entities on it), my conscious effort to teach those bastards to leave old folks alone resulted in a silent, very old dial phone hanging on the wall.

So, I think you all should thank me, clear out here in wa state now, for helping your state win this honor.


(disclaimer: this post has already been cleaned up and censored enough. If anyone thinks not, all I can say is, you should have been there!)

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Response to countryjake (Reply #16)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 06:52 PM

18. Apologies for the gender mistake.

And thank you for doing your part -for your family, and the state.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #1)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 06:13 PM

15. right there with you

honed my chops in Cincy, now schooling the rubes here in Seattle!

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Response to maxsolomon (Reply #15)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 07:29 PM

20. It's harder up here in the Magic Skagit...

I have been scolded many a time for upsetting the balance of the universe with my vile tongue, so I learned long ago that I must tone it down at times.

Worked in Cincy a long while when I was young, Cleveland, too.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #20)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 09:17 PM

21. I'm still in Ohio.

And I work with many Fundagelicals, most of whom are very nice. So I am re-learning some of the old Gascon swear words that my grandparents used.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 04:49 PM

2. makes sense, I would curse a lot too

 

if I had to live in Cleveland or Cincinnati

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Response to snooper2 (Reply #2)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 04:56 PM

4. Or Ohio.

 


[hr][font color="blue"][center]Treat your body like a machine. Your mind like a castle.[/center][/font][hr]

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Response to randome (Reply #4)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:18 PM

6. Like I said,

"I mean, hey,motherf***ers, you live in this Republican Hell, this den of corruption-induced industrialized malaise, this place that reeks of almost-succeeded and also-rans, with its inequality and crap weather, and we’ll see how long it takes you to start whipping out the lingua Franca . Dammit."

Ohio. Lots of us are stuck here, so we say a lot of "fucks" here.

They oughta use that as a tourist slogan. But they probably won't.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 04:56 PM

3. Somehow, I thought New York or New Jersey

would win this "honor".

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #3)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:13 PM

5. Oh, they strove valiantly, no doubt.

But shit a god damned motherfuck, we buckeyes know how to fuckin' cuss.

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Response to riqster (Reply #5)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 09:28 PM

22. I've got to admit that when I have traveled through Ohio,

I've had ample opportunities to help the state in its quest to be Number One

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #22)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 09:59 PM

23. No doubt at the traffic.

Cleveland excepted, the drivers here are truly insane.

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Response to riqster (Reply #23)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:18 PM

24. I never made it to Cleveland

The Steubenville cop who pulled me over for Driving With Long Hair was pissed because I had a clean record, so instead of just letting me continue northward in Ohio, he decided to, um, escort me all the way up to the Ohio River bridge at East Liverpool. I probably accounted for half of the state's score for that year

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #24)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:20 PM

25. Ah yes, DWF we used to call it.

Driving While Freak. Still goes on here, 40 fucking years later.

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Response to riqster (Reply #25)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 11:45 PM

30. I felt almost like I had crossed the Macon County Line

The cop pulled me over just south of the Weirton exit, then took me down to the station in grimy downtown Steubenville. He had quite an attitude, I must say. Anyway, when he found out I was clean, he took me back to my car, and I continued on Highway 7 past the exit. A little farther up the road, he stopped me again, and said "Why are you still in Ohio? Where are you going?" I told him I was going to Erie, and he said, "You're going to West Virginia" and "escorted" me all the way to the bridge at East Liverpool.

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #30)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 02:31 PM

50. Ah, good old Rapeville.

That is one crappy town. But not our worst.

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Response to riqster (Reply #50)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 05:44 PM

60. It's not the worst?

Damn, I would hate to see the worst, then

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #24)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:56 PM

56. You were pulled over by a Steubenville cop and he didn't take

you down town and beat the s--- out of you, you were lucky.

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Response to doc03 (Reply #56)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 05:15 PM

57. He took me downtown

But he didn't touch me.

But that was 1978. Things seem to have changed since then.

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #57)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 05:30 PM

58. This has been several years ago but a buddy of mine had a flat tire

in Steubenville. He stopped in front of this lady's house to change the tire, she called the COPs and told them someone suspicious was in front of her house. They cuffed him had his car towed and took him down town and beat the hell out of him. He is a white guy to. Some time after that many other people reported them for police brutality and the Chief and several others were fired.

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Response to doc03 (Reply #58)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 05:33 PM

59. Da-------------mn

I guess I was lucky then.

Holy crap!

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #3)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 11:13 PM

29. I still believe the sample size must have been too small

I'm on the phone with NJ residents every working day of the week, and I hear a lot more profanity than when I was on a job where we got calls from all over the country.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:25 PM

7. As Ohio f***ing goes, so goes the f***ing nation.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:31 PM

8. I was born in Pittsburgh but raised in Ohio near Cleveland. ...

When I went through basic training, I taught the other recruits how to swear.

I've often said that a truly educated man can swear proficiently in more than one language.

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Response to spin (Reply #8)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:39 PM

11. Just being a fan of Cleveland sports teams taught me to swear.

Since 1966. Lots of time to hone my skills.

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Response to riqster (Reply #11)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:55 PM

14. That's where being born in Pittsburgh came in handy for me. ...

Unfortunately the Steelers have been in a slump for a couple of years.

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Response to spin (Reply #14)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 07:12 PM

19. Cry me a river, says the fucking Browns fan.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:37 PM

10. How can this fucking be?

 

This NYer is insulted by the findings of this fucking study.

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Response to leftynyc (Reply #10)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:41 PM

12. Too fucking bad. First we got the Rock Hall, now this great achievement!

Fuck yeah, man.

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Response to riqster (Reply #12)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 05:49 PM

13. LOL

 

I'm actually fucking jealous of OH? Meanwhile, when there was the 50th anniversary of the Rock & Roll Hall, where was it they held the concert? I do believe it was in the world's most famous arena and that ain't in OH.


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Response to leftynyc (Reply #13)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 06:48 PM

17. We gotta brag about what we can.

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Response to riqster (Reply #17)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 05:48 AM

32. I WILL get to OH one day

 

for the very reason of seeing the Hall of Fame. An awesome addition to your state that is well worth bragging about.

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Response to leftynyc (Reply #32)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 06:46 AM

34. It is pretty awesome.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:26 PM

26. Being home to the Cleveland Browns and Indians gives the state an unfair advantage.

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Response to JVS (Reply #26)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:07 AM

38. And Cavaliers.

And Art Fucking Modell. And LeBron Fucking James.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:33 PM

27. Anyone who is stuck

in Ohio with all the teabagger nuts we have...........It's no fucken wonder!

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Response to samplegirl (Reply #27)

Wed Dec 4, 2013, 10:40 PM

28. Damn right.

Lots of us are stuck here, so we say a lot of Fucks here.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 01:37 AM

31. My old man left Ohio many years ago.

 

He was one tough son of a bitch union organizer, proud member of the 483rd Bombardment Group during the Big One, and he was a gentleman. He did not cuss. He did not read girlie magazines either.

People of his generation (my parents) didn't cuss severely, they thought it was a sign of poor breeding and inability to express yourself, but were very expressive with goddamn, bitch, bastard, jackass and son of a bitch.

He once told me about the various kinds of bastards you have to watch out for

He was from Ashtabula and got tired of shoveling that godforsaken lake effect snow. So he went to Houston.

But hey, knowing I'm one-half Yankee, I'm glad to know Ohio is outstanding in something that can be creative, especially in foreign languages!!

Figlio da putana!!

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #31)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 06:45 AM

33. Balzampleu!

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Response to riqster (Reply #33)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:10 PM

44. What does that mean?

 

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #44)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:46 PM

47. It's Gascon, meaning

Either "balls", or "the devil's balls", depending on which Huguenot geezer you asked.

I DO know it got my mouth most vigorously scrubbed out when my Grandmother caught me repeating it.

It also shows up in the Three Musketeers, uttered by a Swiss, oddly enough.

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #31)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:20 AM

39. Ahhhhhh, Assholebula!!

Born and raised there. Now living in grateful exile in Upstate NY where my language skills are admired. My pastor's wife (who is also a pastor) loves when I come by because she can say FUCK without me being the least bit upset. After we've had a few beers, her Iowa-bred husband flees to another room. As we used to say in the Navy, Fucking-a-dittybag.

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Response to Bohunk68 (Reply #39)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 04:52 PM

41. My wife is from the South

It took her a while to adjust to the local, ahem, "dialect".

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 06:50 AM

35. We're also the least courteous.

You're fucking welcome, America.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:02 AM

36. Know your word(s):

fuck (v.)
until recently a difficult word to trace, in part because it was taboo to the editors of the original OED when the "F" volume was compiled, 1893-97. Written form only attested from early 16c. OED 2nd edition cites 1503, in the form fukkit; earliest appearance of current spelling is 1535 -- "Bischops ... may fuck thair fill and be vnmaryit" (Sir David Lyndesay, "Ane Satyre of the Thrie Estaits"), but presumably it is a much more ancient word than that, simply one that wasn't written in the kind of texts that have survived from O.E. and M.E. Buck cites proper name John le Fucker from 1278. The word apparently is hinted at in a scurrilous 15c. poem, titled "Flen flyys," written in bastard Latin and M.E. The relevant line reads:

Non sunt in celi
quia fuccant uuiuys of heli


"They (the monks) are not in heaven because they fuck the wives of (the town of) Ely." Fuccant is pseudo-Latin, and in the original it is written in cipher. The earliest examples of the word otherwise are from Scottish, which suggests a Scandinavian origin, perhaps from a word akin to Norwegian dialectal fukka "copulate," or Swedish dialectal focka "copulate, strike, push," and fock "penis." Another theory traces it to M.E. fyke, fike "move restlessly, fidget," which also meant "dally, flirt," and probably is from a general North Sea Germanic word; cf. M.Du. fokken, Ger. ficken "fuck," earlier "make quick movements to and fro, flick," still earlier "itch, scratch;" the vulgar sense attested from 16c. This would parallel in sense the usual M.E. slang term for "have sexual intercourse," swive, from O.E. swifan "to move lightly over, sweep" (see swivel). But OED remarks these "cannot be shown to be related" to the English word. Chronology and phonology rule out Shipley's attempt to derive it from M.E. firk "to press hard, beat."

Germanic words of similar form (f + vowel + consonant) and meaning 'copulate' are numerous. One of them is G. ficken. They often have additional senses, especially 'cheat,' but their basic meaning is 'move back and forth.' ... Most probably, fuck is a borrowing from Low German and has no cognates outside Germanic. (Liberman)

French foutre and Italian fottere look like the English word but are unrelated, derived rather from L. futuere, which is perhaps from PIE base *bhau(t)- "knock, strike off," extended via a figurative use "from the sexual application of violent action" (Shipley; cf. the sexual slang use of bang, etc.). Popular and Internet derivations from acronyms (and the "pluck yew" fable) are merely ingenious trifling. The O.E. word was hæman, from ham "dwelling, home," with a sense of "take home, co-habit." Fuck was outlawed in print in England (by the Obscene Publications Act, 1857) and the U.S. (by the Comstock Act, 1873). As a noun, it dates from 1670s. The word may have been shunned in print, but it continued in conversation, especially among soldiers during WWI.

It became so common that an effective way for the soldier to express this emotion was to omit this word. Thus if a sergeant said, 'Get your ----ing rifles!' it was understood as a matter of routine. But if he said 'Get your rifles!' there was an immediate implication of urgency and danger. (John Brophy, "Songs and Slang of the British Soldier: 1914-1918," pub. 1930)

The legal barriers broke down in the 20th century, with the "Ulysses" decision (U.S., 1933) and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (U.S., 1959; U.K., 1960). Johnson excluded the word, and fuck wasn't in a single English language dictionary from 1795 to 1965. "The Penguin Dictionary" broke the taboo in the latter year. Houghton Mifflin followed, in 1969, with "The American Heritage Dictionary," but it also published a "Clean Green" edition without the word, to assure itself access to the lucrative public high school market.

The abbreviation F (or eff) probably began as euphemistic, but by 1943 it was being used as a cuss word, too. In 1948, the publishers of "The Naked and the Dead" persuaded Norman Mailer to use the euphemism fug instead. When Mailer later was introduced to Dorothy Parker, she greeted him with, "So you're the man who can't spell 'fuck' " (The quip sometimes is attributed to Tallulah Bankhead). Hemingway used muck in "For whom the Bell Tolls" (1940). The major breakthrough in publication was James Jones' "From Here to Eternity" (1950), with 50 fucks (down from 258 in the original manuscript). Egyptian legal agreements from the 23rd Dynasty (749-21 B.C.E.) frequently include the phrase, "If you do not obey this decree, may a donkey copulate with you!" (Reinhold Aman, "Maledicta," Summer 1977). Fuck-all "nothing" first recorded 1960.

Verbal phrase fuck up "to ruin, spoil, destroy" first attested c.1916. A widespread group of Slavic words (cf. Pol. pierdoli?) can mean both "fornicate" and "make a mistake." Fuck off attested from 1929; as a command to depart, by 1944. Flying fuck originally meant "have sex on horseback" and is first attested c.1800 in broadside ballad "New Feats of Horsemanship." For the unkillable urban legend that this word is an acronym of some sort (a fiction traceable on the Internet to 1995 but probably predating that) see here, and also here. Related: Fucked; fucking. Agent noun fucker attested from 1590s in literal sense; by 1893 as a term of abuse (or admiration).

DUCK F-CK-R. The man who has the care of the poultry on board a ?hip of war. ("Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue," 1796)



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Response to kentauros (Reply #36)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:05 AM

37. That is fucking awesome.

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Response to riqster (Reply #37)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 04:21 PM

40. Etymology is always fuckin' awesome!

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Response to kentauros (Reply #40)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:25 PM

45. Thanks for that awesome scholarship!

 

Latin: facio - to do, make, or become- First declension (vowel ending is A)

facio I make
facias you make
faciat he, she, it makes

faciamus we make
faciatis you (pl.) make
faciant they make


Old violin labels say faciebant in ___year. Faciebant is "they were made". Past tense, passive, plural.


You should read Eric Partridge's Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English for laughs(mostly British).

The Best of Maledicta is good too.

For example, at the end of A Hard Day's Night, when they are on stage playing, and we see Ringo's rear, he is wearing "bugger-bafflers"

Those are side vents at the bottom of a suit jacket, instead of a center vent so you won't rip your jacket up when you stress the material.


I learned this amazing term from Partridge's.
You can learn lots of endearing terms there.

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 04:55 PM

42. Fuckin' a!!

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Response to Initech (Reply #42)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 05:07 PM

43. You're damned right!

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:27 PM

46. Oh Fudge

 

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Response to BlueJazz (Reply #46)

Thu Dec 5, 2013, 07:48 PM

48. Cornelius?

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:06 PM

51. Well, given that I was born and raised in Ohio and

lived there until my early forties several years ago, I can say without any fucking equivocation whatso-fucking-damn-ever that there's are some very good goddamn reasons for such damned fucking verbal spewings!

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Response to liberalhistorian (Reply #51)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:21 PM

53. Lots of us are stuck here, so we say a lot of "fucks" here.

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Response to riqster (Reply #53)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:42 PM

55. I know, most of my

family are still there and they can certainly let loose whenever they feel like it and they feel like it a fucking LOT!

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Response to riqster (Original post)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:06 PM

52. What the f--- happened to West f---Virginia they

are always f---g first in any f---g thing f---g bad? We're number f---g one O-H-I-O

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Response to doc03 (Reply #52)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 03:22 PM

54. O-f-H-f-I-f-O!

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Response to riqster (Original post)

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